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    Making jokes from trauma with Zach Boner

    en-usMarch 18, 2022

    Podcast Summary

    • Discovering Deals at Ross and Building Friendships with Makeup ArtistsRoss offers significant discounts on popular brands, and building strong relationships with makeup artists can lead to unique experiences.

      Ross is a great destination for scoring deals on well-known brands during spring, offering savings of up to 60% off department store prices. Kale Lauer, the host of Barely Famous Podcast, shared her personal connection with her makeup artist, Zach, who has worked with her for over three years. They met when Zach reached out for a regular makeup artist on the East Coast, and their first collaboration was for Good American Jeans. Their working relationship has grown into a close friendship, with Zach even being a part of Kale's Halloween traditions. The most memorable experience they shared was a spontaneous trip to New York for a podcast reunion episode, which remained unaired on TV but was an unforgettable experience for both.

    • Unexpected challenges on a reality TV showForming unexpected friendships and dealing with unexpected challenges can lead to valuable experiences.

      The speaker's experience on a reality TV show involved unexpected challenges, including doing makeup in hidden places, dealing with drama, and leaving unexpectedly. Despite the chaos, she formed a close bond with the show's makeup artist, who later became a friend. The speaker felt unclear about her role on the show and left when she felt she was being put in an uncomfortable position. The experience was chaotic and not what she had expected, but it ultimately led to a valuable friendship. The speaker also shared a personal story about her relationship with one of the show's cast members, which was interrupted by the makeup artist's eagerness to hear another story.

    • Exploring new experiences in relationshipsExploring new experiences in a relationship, such as a threesome, can strengthen the bond between partners and alleviate insecurities for some individuals. Communication and consent are crucial when considering such experiences.

      Exploring new experiences in a relationship, such as a threesome, can strengthen the bond between partners and alleviate insecurities and anxieties for some individuals. The speaker, who identifies as shy and insecure, shares how engaging in this activity with her more outgoing and open-minded partner has helped her feel more secure in their relationship and reduced her anxiety around their mutual attraction to others. She acknowledges that every relationship is unique, and communication and consent are essential when considering such experiences. The speaker also reflects on the human desire for connection and attraction, and how monogamy may not be the only option for every couple. Ultimately, the speaker encourages open-mindedness and communication in relationships, emphasizing that every couple's dynamic is different and that exploring new experiences can lead to growth and deeper connection.

    • Exploring new experiences and deepening relationships through trustTrust is essential for navigating new experiences and strengthening relationships, even in unconventional situations. Communication and mutual respect are key.

      Trust plays a crucial role in exploring new experiences and deepening relationships, even in unconventional situations. In the context of the discussion, the use of a dating app to facilitate a threesome led to increased trust and closeness between the couple. Trusting each other enough to navigate this new experience together allowed them to grow closer as a couple. However, it's important to note that everyone's experiences and boundaries are unique, and communication and mutual respect are essential in any relationship exploration. On a different note, there's also the topic of CBD products, which are legal according to the 2008 Farm Bill and can be found in various forms such as vape products, actual flower, gummies, and concentrates. They ship to 39 states, and you can enjoy a 20% discount using the code "famous." Remember, do not drive or operate machinery while using these products. Lastly, for Mother's Day, consider visiting Nordstrom Rack for great deals on a wide range of gifts, starting from just $30. Brands like Kate Spade New York, Stuart Weitzman, and Ted Baker London offer fantastic savings. Happy shopping!

    • Exploring new experiences in a relationship: communication and boundaries are keyEffective communication and respecting boundaries are essential when trying new experiences in a relationship. Be clear about intentions, address concerns, and be mindful of comfort levels and past relationships.

      Communication and setting boundaries are crucial elements in exploring new experiences, such as a threesome, within a relationship. The couple in the discussion shared their desire for a casual encounter and made it clear from the start about their intentions. They messaged potential partners, found a good match, and had a positive experience. However, the excitement and subsequent insecurity led to a moment of doubt, but they addressed their concerns and reaffirmed their mutual interest in the experience. The couple also emphasized the importance of being mindful of each other's comfort levels and past relationships when involving new people in their intimate life. Ultimately, their open communication and respect for each other's boundaries allowed them to enjoy the experience without any long-term complications.

    • Navigating sexual encounters with communication and boundariesCommunicate openly and honestly, prioritize comfort, and use assertiveness to navigate sexual encounters. Old crushes can sometimes turn into new connections.

      Communication and setting boundaries are crucial in all types of relationships, including sexual encounters. The speaker shared an experience where she felt uncomfortable during a sexual encounter and assertively ended it. She also shared an instance where she initiated contact with someone from her past, leading to a new connection. In both situations, she used her judgment and assertiveness to navigate the interactions. It's important to remember that it's okay to prioritize your own comfort and needs, and to communicate openly and honestly with others. Additionally, people can surprise us, and sometimes old crushes can turn into new connections.

    • Exploring mental health and sexuality through online therapyOnline therapy platforms like BetterHelp offer accessible, convenient, and affordable mental health support. They connect users with licensed therapists for video, phone, or live chat sessions, and support exploration of sexuality in a non-judgmental environment.

      Online therapy through platforms like BetterHelp can offer accessible, convenient, and affordable mental health support for various issues. BetterHelp connects users with licensed therapists for video, phone, or live chat sessions, and offers a broad range of expertise and flexibility. The service is available worldwide and allows for easy communication through a secure online platform. Additionally, the stigma surrounding men exploring their sexuality is discussed, with the understanding that curiosity and exploration do not necessarily define one's sexual identity. There is a spectrum of sexuality, and people can be open-minded, bisexual, pansexual, or sexually fluid. Online therapy and open-mindedness towards sexuality are two important topics that can positively impact individuals' mental health and personal growth.

    • Exploring Unusual Experiences with Trust and CommunicationTrust and communication are crucial in unconventional relationships, enabling unique experiences to deepen bonds.

      Trust and communication are essential elements in unconventional relationships. The discussion revolves around two individuals, Steven and the speaker, who engage in an unusual activity together without involving haircutting. They found joy in this shared experience and looked forward to repeating it. The level of trust between them allowed them to explore this dynamic without involving a third person or disrupting their relationship. The speaker shared a past experience of a kidnapping ordeal from their younger days, which they kept hidden from their mom due to her disapproval of their sexuality. This anecdote highlights the importance of trust and communication in any relationship, as well as the potential for unique experiences to strengthen bonds.

    • Staying unaware of surroundings can lead to dangerous situationsIgnoring potential threats can put you in harm's way, making it harder for loved ones to find you if something happens.

      Being unaware of your surroundings and ignoring potential threats can lead to dangerous situations. The speaker ignored a suspicious encounter, only to be robbed at gunpoint and have their phone and wallet taken. The robbers were able to erase the speaker's location and alert their friends, making it harder for the speaker's friends and family to find them. The situation could have been even more dire if the speaker had not managed to keep calm and focus on her job, despite being in a terrifying situation. The experience left a lasting impact on the speaker, and she continues to deal with the trauma to this day. It's important to stay vigilant and aware of your surroundings to ensure your safety.

    • Surviving a Robbery: A Terrifying HourStay calm and resourceful during unexpected situations, and trust authorities for support.

      Being in a dangerous situation can be unpredictable and disorienting. A person was robbed at gunpoint and used as a getaway driver, experiencing multiple gas station robberies and overdrafts on their account. Despite the fear and uncertainty, the person managed to outsmart the robbers by leading them to an ATM with cameras and an overdrafted account. The incident lasted only an hour but felt like all night long, and the person did not go to work the next day due to the trauma. The police and FBI eventually got involved, revealing that similar incidents had occurred in the area. This experience highlights the importance of staying calm and resourceful in unexpected situations, and trusting authorities for support.

    • Online privacy compromised on Grindr, leading to robbery and PTSDOnline actions can have serious real-world consequences, and it's crucial to protect personal information to avoid potential harm.

      Personal privacy and security can be easily compromised in today's digital world, even on seemingly innocuous apps like Grindr. The speaker's experience of being robbed at gunpoint and having his account hacked left him with PTSD and a newfound caution when interacting with strangers. Despite the deletion of messages and chats, the perpetrators were able to find a text app number and obtain photos from an ATM. This incident changed the speaker's life, leading him to take extra safety measures when meeting new people and never meeting strangers alone at night. The case was eventually covered in the news, but some of the perpetrators were never caught due to a lack of cooperation from victims. It's a reminder that our actions online can have serious real-world consequences and that we must be vigilant about protecting our personal information.

    • Story of a dangerous encounter on a gay dating appBe cautious when using dating apps, have a good support system, learn from past experiences, and be aware of the risks but don't let fear prevent new connections.

      Online dating apps can be dangerous, and users need to be cautious about their safety, especially when meeting strangers in person. The speaker shared a personal experience of being robbed while using a gay dating app and the trauma of not being able to report it due to societal stigma. However, she also emphasized the importance of having a good support system and learning from past experiences to become more cautious and responsible. The speaker also acknowledged that while dating apps can have negative experiences, they can also lead to positive connections and relationships. It's essential to be aware of the risks but not let fear prevent us from trying new things and potentially finding meaningful connections.

    • Unexpected connections in age difference relationshipsAge differences in relationships can lead to surprising and meaningful connections based on shared goals and personalities.

      Age differences in relationships can lead to unexpected experiences and connections. When the speaker was 20, she encountered an older man who propositioned her for a date, and despite her initial jokes about money, they ended up going out and developing a genuine connection. He was divorcing and had children, but she didn't let that deter her. They found common ground in their desire to have children someday and enjoyed each other's company. The age difference was initially surprising, but they discovered they had a strong connection based on their personalities and shared goals. Ultimately, they developed a meaningful relationship that lasted beyond the initial dinner date.

    • The Complexity of Human RelationshipsTrust and honesty are essential in relationships, but appearances can be deceiving and people may hide secrets that can significantly impact the future.

      Appearances can be deceiving and people may hide secrets that can significantly impact relationships. In this story, a young woman named Zach worked at a fragrance store and developed a relationship with a regular customer. They began having an affair, and the man revealed that he was gay and planned to divorce his wife. The woman believed him and started envisioning a future with him, but was later discovered by his wife who thought Zach was a woman. The man had been sending Zach photos and messages on his work phone, which his wife found. The situation highlights the importance of trust and honesty in relationships and the potential consequences of deceit. It also underscores the complexity and nuance of human emotions and motivations. The story serves as a reminder to be cautious and not to judge based on appearances or assumptions, and to always seek the truth.

    • Manipulation in Short-Term RelationshipsManipulation can lead to deep emotional attachment, but deceit can result in devastating consequences. Always be truthful to avoid confusion and difficulty in future relationships.

      Manipulation can lead to deep investment and emotional attachment, even in short-term relationships. The individual in this story was manipulated by a CEO into believing they had a future together, despite his lies about his marital status and sexuality. The consequences of this deceit were devastating for the individual, leading to feelings of betrayal and heartbreak. The experience left a lasting impact, causing confusion and difficulty in forming new relationships for several years. This incident serves as a reminder that appearances can be deceiving, and it's essential to be cautious and truthful in our interactions with others.

    • Finding Support and Healing from Trauma and AnxietyMeeting a trustworthy and supportive partner can be key to overcoming trauma and anxiety. Discovering personal passions can also provide a source of joy and fulfillment.

      Trauma and anxiety can significantly impact one's life, and finding a supportive and trustworthy relationship can be a crucial factor in overcoming these challenges. The speaker shares how her past experiences led to anxiety and PTSD, but meeting her partner Steven helped her heal and change her perspective. In a lighter vein, the conversation also touched on makeup and the speaker's journey to discovering her passion for it, sharing her experiences with various products and her past attempts to pursue a career in cosmetology. She expressed her thoughts on the outdated curriculum of cosmetology schools and how it didn't align with her interests, ultimately leading her to find fulfillment in working at Sephora.

    • Double-booking makeup artists and hairstylists leads to embarrassmentEffective planning and organization are crucial for avoiding embarrassing situations. Assistance from a trusted helper and practical makeup products contribute to a successful content day.

      Effective planning and coordination can be challenging for some individuals, leading to humiliating situations. The speaker shares an experience of double-booking makeup artists and hairstylists for a photo shoot, which made her feel unimportant and disorganized. However, she acknowledges the need for assistance due to the demands of her work. The speaker also expresses her preference for having a trusted assistant, like Kristen, who helps her plan and execute content days. When it comes to makeup, she values the versatility of tinted moisturizer for everyday use and appreciates the coverage of concealers like e.l.f. However, she cautions against overhyped trends that result in excessive product usage. In summary, the importance of planning and organization, the value of assistance, and the appreciation for practical makeup products are key takeaways from the conversation.

    • Clear communication and cooperation are essential for a successful experienceUnderstand instructions, respect preferences, and communicate effectively to ensure a positive interaction

      Communication and cooperation are crucial in ensuring a successful experience for both parties. The speaker shared her dislike for being told what to do, but acknowledged the importance of following instructions when necessary. She also discussed her astrological signs and how they influence her personality, as well as her preferences in makeup and pet peeves during application. The speaker also shared an experience of a difficult client from her past when she worked at Sephora, emphasizing the importance of clear communication and preparation to avoid misunderstandings and disappointments. Overall, the conversation highlights the importance of clear communication, respect, and adaptability in various situations.

    • Reactions to our work can be unpredictableNot every client will be satisfied, but focusing on positive feedback and recommendations can help build a successful business. Prepare for potential challenges and trust in your abilities.

      People's reactions to our work can be unpredictable and not always directly related to the quality of what we do. In the shared story, a makeup artist had a terrible experience with a bride who hated her work despite the fact that the rest of the family loved it. The artist was left feeling confused and upset, but ultimately realized that it was the bride's personal issues that caused her behavior. It's important to remember that not every client will be easy to please, but focusing on the positive feedback and recommendations from satisfied customers can help build a successful business. Additionally, the experience taught the artist to be prepared for potential challenges and to trust in her abilities.

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    Esther Perel (Love & Sex Expert): Why Men Love Porn More Than Their Partner! It's Time To Enjoy Sex Again! The Real Reason Men & Women Cheat!

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    Why do people have affairs in happy relationships? Why does sex decline in some long term relationships and not others? Esther Perel is here to answer all of the biggest questions in sex and relationships. Esther Perel is a world-leading Belgian-American psychotherapist and relationship expert, best known for her work in human relationships and ‘erotic intelligence’. She is the New York Times best-selling author of, ‘Mating in Captivity’ and ‘The State of Affairs’, as well as the host of the podcast, ‘Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel’. Follow Esther: Instagram: https://bit.ly/3Gx63qy Twitter: https://bit.ly/3T7vN4k Watch the episodes on Youtube - https://g2ul0.app.link/3kxINCANKsb My new book! 'The 33 Laws Of Business & Life' is out now: https://smarturl.it/DOACbook Follow me: Instagram: http://bit.ly/3nIkGAZ Twitter: http://bit.ly/3ztHuHm Linkedin: https://bit.ly/41Fl95Q Telegram: http://bit.ly/3nJYxST Sponsors: Huel: https://g2ul0.app.link/G4RjcdKNKsb Eight Sleep: https://www.eightsleep.com/uk/steven/ CODE: STEVEN (save $150 on the Pod Cover) ZOE: http://joinzoe.com with an exclusive code CEO50 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices