Podcast Summary
Interrupting negative thought patterns with the 5-second rule: The 5-second rule, which involves counting backwards from five to interrupt negative thoughts and take action, engages the prefrontal cortex, giving us control over our thoughts and actions, and has helped countless people make positive changes in their lives.
When we find ourselves in a rut of procrastination or negative thinking, it's our subconscious mind taking the wheel. To interrupt these patterns and make positive changes, we can use simple yet effective tools like the 5-second rule. This technique, which involves counting backwards from five, requires focus and engages the prefrontal cortex, giving us control over our thoughts and actions. Mel Robbins, a renowned speaker, author, and podcast host, has shared her experience with this rule and its impact on countless lives, including helping 111 people prevent suicidal ideations. By interrupting negative thought patterns and taking action, we can bridge the gap towards the life changes we desire.
From dreaming to realizing: Mel Robbins' journey: Every experience, good or bad, is a stepping stone to personal growth. Believe in the learning process to approach each moment with faith in your intended path.
Life experiences, both good and bad, are essential in shaping who we become. Mel Robbins, an inspiring figure, shares her journey from dreaming of hosting a daytime talk show to realizing it wasn't the right fit for her. Through this experience, she learned the importance of being in control of her career and the value of looking back at past experiences to understand how they contribute to our personal growth. Mel emphasizes that life is a learning process, and every moment, whether enjoyable or not, is a stepping stone to our future. By having faith in this idea, we can approach each experience with the belief that it is leading us towards our intended path.
Importance of having the right team: Recognize strengths and weaknesses, delegate tasks, and build a strong team for personal and professional growth.
Having the right team around you can help you navigate through challenges and grow personally and professionally. This was a valuable lesson learned from experiencing failure and feeling overwhelmed during a talk show hosting gig and dealing with anxiety during the pandemic. The speaker discovered that she was not a good CEO and needed a team of experts to support her. Similarly, her executive producer realized she thrived in a larger team environment. Prior experiences of building a social media empire and becoming a public speaker showed the importance of delegating tasks and allowing others to excel in their roles. The speaker's history of anxiety was also highlighted, and how she managed to come off medication and cope with the pandemic by understanding her nervous system's dysregulation. Overall, the importance of recognizing one's strengths and weaknesses and surrounding oneself with a strong team was a recurring theme throughout the discussion.
Struggling with personal issues despite supportive environments: Acknowledge personal struggles, seek help, and create accommodating environments for learning differences and mental health issues.
Even when we have supportive environments and resources, personal struggles and anxiety can still hinder our productivity and progress. The speaker shares her experience of struggling with anxiety during law school and a research project, despite having a supportive mentor and being in an academic environment. She admits that she was not diagnosed with ADHD or dyslexia at the time, but the fear and avoidance of the project consumed her, leading her to procrastinate and eventually quit. This experience highlights the importance of acknowledging personal struggles and seeking help when needed, rather than continuing to struggle in silence or out of fear of the unknown. It also emphasizes the need for greater understanding and accommodation of learning differences and mental health issues in educational and professional settings.
Recognize and attack the worry loop to reduce anxiety: Define what you want and take deliberate actions towards it to overcome anxiety and make significant changes in your life
Recognizing and addressing the root cause of anxiety, which is the worry loop, can help individuals significantly reduce their anxiety levels. This was the experience of the speaker, who went from being an anxious and edgy person to a self-aware and calm individual. She shares that anxiety begins with a worry, which then triggers the body and nervous system, leading to an agitated state. By focusing on attacking the worry loop, one can slow down the anxiety and eventually prevent panic attacks. The speaker's journey to self-awareness and healing began after law school when she was diagnosed with anxiety and started taking Zoloft. She then went on to have a successful career as a legal analyst for CNN. However, it was only after experiencing severe postpartum depression and having to return to a law firm that she hated that she decided to make a change. She set a clear goal for herself, networked relentlessly, and ultimately found a job that paid her what she wanted. The takeaway is that by defining what we want and taking deliberate actions towards it, we can make significant changes in our lives and overcome anxiety.
Navigating Careers and Overcoming Self-Doubt: Despite setbacks and self-doubt, resilience and determination can help individuals find success in their chosen paths.
Resilience and determination are key to overcoming failures and finding success. The speaker shares her personal story of navigating various careers, from law to digital marketing, and eventually finding her path as a life coach. Along the way, she encountered numerous setbacks and moments of self-doubt, but she continued to seek new opportunities and learn from her experiences. Eventually, she landed a job that seemed perfect, but when an opportunity to be featured in a magazine article on life coaches presented itself, she initially hesitated due to self-doubt. However, she realized that she needed to take a risk and apply, even if she didn't meet all the qualifications. This mindset of pushing past fear and self-doubt ultimately led to her success as a life coach. The speaker's story serves as a reminder that failure and self-doubt are a natural part of the journey to finding one's path in life, and that with resilience and determination, it is possible to overcome obstacles and achieve success.
Unexpected opportunities from setbacks: Stay open to unexpected opportunities, even from setbacks, and don't give up on your dreams.
Opportunity can come from the most unexpected places. Mary Duffy's article being published late led to her following a woman around for a day, which eventually resulted in her being discovered by CNBC and Fox, leading to a development deal and a hosting opportunity on a reality show. Despite feeling like a fraud and having setbacks, such as the article not bringing in clients or leaving her suitcase at the airport, she persevered and ultimately succeeded. This story illustrates the importance of staying open to opportunity and not giving up, even when things don't go as planned.
Unexpected changes can lead to unfavorable outcomes: Be cautious of opportunities that don't align with your values, and trust your instincts when things feel off. Adaptability and resilience are crucial in dealing with unexpected changes.
Sometimes, even with the best intentions and preparations, unexpected changes can lead to unfavorable outcomes. The speaker shares an experience where she landed a role on a TV show, only to find out that it had drastically changed and was no longer aligned with her values. Despite her initial enthusiasm, she realized that the show was not what she had signed up for and the experience was unpleasant. Fortunately, the project was ultimately shelved due to external circumstances. This incident serves as a reminder that it's important to carefully consider the potential implications of opportunities and to trust our instincts when things don't feel right. Additionally, it's essential to be adaptable and resilient in the face of unexpected changes.
From Lawyer to Unemployed TV Personality: Seek advice and support during tough times, listen to podcasts like 'Feel Better, Live More' and 'The Conversation', and remember resilience and personal identity are separate from business failures.
Even successful people can encounter unexpected setbacks and feel like complete failures. The speaker, a former lawyer turned digital marketer and life coach, shares her experience of stepping into television only to be locked under contract and left unemployed during a difficult time in her life when her husband's restaurants were also failing. This experience left her feeling lost and unsure of what to do next. However, she emphasizes the importance of seeking advice and support from trusted sources, such as podcasts and friends, during challenging times. The podcasts "Feel Better, Live More" and "The Conversation" are recommended for listeners seeking tools for better health and raw, honest discussions on various issues. Additionally, the importance of resilience and not letting personal identity become intertwined with business failures is highlighted.
Acting despite negative emotions: Taking action, even small, can help shift mindset and improve situation during difficult times
During difficult times, it's essential to take action despite negative emotions and thoughts. As shared in the discussion, Chris's business failure led him to feel defined by his failure, making it challenging for him to separate his identity from the situation. In contrast, his business partner maintained an optimistic attitude and took actions to mitigate their losses. The speaker herself went through a similar experience and found that taking action, even if small, could help shift her mindset and improve her situation. The concept of the "5-second rule" was born from this realization, emphasizing the importance of acting immediately when the urge to procrastinate or give in to negative thoughts arises.
Counting backwards from 5 creates opportunities for change: Small actions like counting backwards from 5 can lead to significant changes in life, committing us to take action and setting in motion a chain reaction towards further progress
Small actions can lead to significant changes in life. Mel Robbins shares her personal experience of how counting backwards from 5 helped her overcome her fear and take action when she felt stuck. This simple act created a "crack in the universe" where she was ready to receive change. She emphasizes that these moments of opportunity can easily be missed if we're not paying attention and present. The power of this method lies in its accessibility and simplicity, making it a "welcome mat" for anyone to take that initial step towards change. The counting process commits us to taking action and sets in motion a chain reaction leading to further progress. As Mel puts it, "the power is in the stupidity" of the method, which allows us to bypass our resistance and fears.
Interrupt negative thought patterns with the 5 Second Rule: The 5 Second Rule is a simple yet effective tool for interrupting negative thought patterns and promoting positive action by counting backwards from five before taking action or making a decision.
The 5 Second Rule is a simple yet effective tool for interrupting subconscious patterns and promoting positive change. This rule, which involves counting backwards from five before taking action or making a decision, engages the prefrontal cortex and gives individuals control over their thoughts and actions. The rule's effectiveness has been proven through its use by individuals from all walks of life, including children, senior citizens, and those dealing with anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideations. The rule has even been adopted by medical professionals and organizations to help people interrupt negative thought patterns and take action towards positive change. The 5 Second Rule is a powerful tool for bridging the gap between thinking and doing, and can help individuals overcome fear, procrastination, and other obstacles holding them back.
Overcoming Fear and Misconceptions: Don't let fear or lack of knowledge hold you back from pursuing opportunities. Price yourself appropriately and discover your true talents and potential.
Sometimes our greatest fears and misconceptions can hold us back from discovering our true talents and potential. Melanie's experience of giving a speech at TEDx without knowing she wasn't getting paid, and the subsequent viral spread of the video, led her to believe that speaking was something only best-selling authors and podcast hosts did for a living. She spent a year speaking for free at events before finally learning the value of asking for compensation. This experience taught her that it's important to price yourself appropriately and not let fear or lack of knowledge hold you back from pursuing opportunities. Additionally, Melanie discovered her passion for helping people with anxiety through her speaking engagements, and became an expert in the topic through research and answering questions from her audience. Ultimately, her fear of public speaking and misunderstanding of the industry led her to a successful career as a motivational speaker and anxiety expert.
Seizing Opportunities in Life's Small Moments: Master the 5 Second Rule to recognize and respond decisively to life's critical moments, overcome self-doubt, and unlock full potential.
The small moments in life, often measured in seconds, can have a profound impact on our personal growth and achievements. Mel Robbins, a renowned speaker and author, emphasizes the importance of seizing opportunities within these brief windows of time. She calls it the "5 Second Rule," which involves recognizing and responding to these moments with decisive action instead of hesitation or self-doubt. Robbins believes that mastering public speaking starts with focusing on the audience and their desired feelings. Her goal is to empower and inspire people, making them feel they have control over their lives and can unlock their full potential. She communicates complex ideas in simplistic ways, catering to the average person's needs and challenges. Robbins' story of self-publishing her book, "The 5 Second Rule," demonstrates the power of perseverance and determination, even when faced with unexpected obstacles. Despite initial setbacks, she continued to market her book and eventually gained significant attention, eventually reaching a large audience. In essence, the 5 Second Rule is about being mindful and intentional in our actions, especially during those critical moments that can change the course of our lives. By learning to manage our responses, we can overcome self-doubt and achieve our goals.
From setbacks to unexpected success: Setbacks and disappointments can lead to new opportunities and unexpected success. Keep pushing through challenges and believe that better opportunities are on the horizon.
Setbacks and disappointments can lead to unexpected opportunities and success. Mel Robbins, a motivational speaker and author, shared her experience of launching a book that initially seemed like a failure. For the first few weeks, her book was out of stock on Amazon, while Tony Robbins' book was everywhere. Mel was disheartened and felt like giving up. However, she had also self-published the audiobook, which took off unexpectedly. The success of the audiobook led to a partnership with Audible and catapulted Mel's career in a new direction. Mel realized that her dream of becoming a New York Times bestselling author was not the ultimate goal, but a driving force to push through challenges and fears. The mantra "there is no way, if you've worked this hard, that you will not be rewarded. You have to believe that this moment is preparing you for something amazing that hasn't happened yet" helped her keep going during difficult times. Ultimately, Mel's experience shows that setbacks and disappointments can be valuable learning experiences and can lead to greater opportunities.
Acknowledge and appreciate yourself for self-confidence: The High Five Habit is a simple practice of self-appreciation in the present moment to build self-confidence, shift mindset, and overcome emotions like jealousy, guilt, and procrastination.
Focusing too much on self-help language like motivation, inspiration, and finding one's purpose can be more harmful than helpful. Instead, it's important to focus on practical actions to build self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth from within. The High Five Habit is a simple yet effective tool for those who feel stuck or easily tripped up by emotions like jealousy, guilt, or procrastination. This habit involves acknowledging and appreciating yourself in the present moment, which can help shift your mindset and build self-confidence. The story of Mel Robbins' personal experiences of failure and self-doubt illustrates how the High Five Habit can be a powerful tool for relocating the source of self-confidence within oneself.
High-fiving ourselves in the mirror: Shift negative self-talk with a simple high-five in the mirror, fostering positivity and self-appreciation.
Our relationship with ourselves in front of the mirror often involves criticism or self-destruction, rather than positivity and celebration. This negative pattern can stem from learned behaviors, such as observing critical parents or caregivers, or a desire to fit in and belong. However, a simple act like high-fiving our reflection in the mirror can help shift this dynamic, building a partnership with ourselves and fostering positive associations. This practice, rooted in the positive energy exchange of a high-five, can lead to improved mood and a more positive self-image. It's important to remember that we're often better at celebrating and cheering for others than ourselves, and it's time to extend that kindness and appreciation to ourselves as well.
Practice self-love and affirmation instead of negative self-talk: Self-love and physical affirmation can help override negative thoughts and motivate us to change and grow
Self-criticism and negative self-talk can lead to a self-imposed rejection of one's true self, further distancing us from our authentic selves. Instead, it's essential to practice self-love and affirmation, as simple acts like high-fiving yourself in the mirror can help override negative thoughts and fulfill our fundamental emotional needs. Research shows that this physical affirmation can be more effective in motivating us to face challenges than traditional forms of praise. By celebrating ourselves and acknowledging our existence, we can find the motivation to change and grow.
The Power of Self-Love and Celebration: High levels of self-love and celebration among team members lead to better performance. Practicing small habits of self-support and celebration daily is crucial for overall happiness, peace, healing, and success. The journey towards loving oneself is essential for personal growth and success.
High levels of connection and self-celebration among team members lead to higher performance, while a lack of such interactions can hinder progress. This is because building trust through simple gestures like high fives helps affirm and support individuals, setting a positive tone for the day and empowering them to face challenges. However, many people struggle with self-love and celebration, feeling that they must earn it through achievements. This mindset can lead to self-destructive behaviors and a lack of fulfillment. To combat this, practicing small habits of self-support and celebration every day is crucial for overall happiness, peace, healing, and success. The journey towards loving oneself is essential and has far-reaching impacts on all aspects of life. The book discussed in the conversation aims to help readers improve their most important relationship – the one with themselves – by providing practical tools for self-soothing, encouragement, and recognizing negative thought patterns. While the book delves into metaphysical concepts later on, its core message is the importance of self-love and self-celebration for personal growth and success.
Starting with self-love and self-acceptance: Clearing negative thoughts, practicing self-affirmation, and giving oneself love and acceptance can lead to increased confidence, self-esteem, and the ability to listen to intuition, forming the foundation for all other forms of love and happiness.
Self-love and self-acceptance are essential foundations for a fulfilling life. The first step is to clear away negative thoughts and beliefs that hinder self-worth. Many people struggle with feelings of unworthiness and self-disgust, which can stem from various experiences such as failure, abuse, or trauma. This inner turmoil can prevent individuals from truly loving and supporting themselves. By practicing self-affirmation, like looking in the mirror and expressing kindness towards oneself, people can begin to heal and reconnect with their worth. This simple act can lead to profound changes, such as increased confidence, self-esteem, and the ability to listen to one's intuition. Ultimately, self-love is the foundation for all other forms of love and happiness, and it starts with giving ourselves the love and acceptance we deserve.
Trusting your instincts and desires: Allowing yourself to connect deeply with your desires and trusting your intuition can lead to meaningful experiences, even if it takes time.
Allowing yourself to connect deeply with your desires and trusting your intuition can lead to meaningful experiences. The speaker shares a personal story about being drawn to a painting in college and her persistent desire to own it, despite the financial obstacle. This experience, which she calls the Zeigarnark effect, shows that our brains remember and prioritize significant emotional experiences. The story emphasizes the importance of trusting your instincts and staying true to your desires, even if it takes time. It's a reminder that the things we're drawn to may hold deeper meaning and value in our lives.
The Power of the Mind in Manifesting Desires: Believe in your desires, maintain faith, and trust the universe to bring about what you truly want. The power of the mind can manifest even the most elusive goals.
Our minds have the power to help us manifest our desires, even if it takes time and patience. The story shared involves an artist, Mel, who had admired a painting by another artist, Gail, for over a decade. Mel was eventually able to meet Gail and was surprised to find out that the painting Mel had been searching for was one of a pair, and the other painting was in Gail's studio. Mel was overwhelmed by the cost of the painting but was touched when her partner promised to help her acquire it. The experience was a reminder to Mel of the power of the mind in bringing about what we truly want. Additionally, there seems to be a quantum metaphysical aspect to the story, suggesting that both Mel and Gail played a role in the eventual union of the two parties. Overall, the story highlights the importance of maintaining faith in the face of difficulty and trusting that the universe is working in our favor.
Maintaining a positive mindset impacts perception and actions: Focusing intentionally on a goal can change your perception and actions, leading to a favorable outcome. Practice intentional focus by looking for heart shapes daily.
Maintaining a positive mindset and believing in the possibility of achieving a goal, no matter how long it takes, can significantly impact your perception and actions. By keeping the goal front and center in your mind, you create a frequency that allows the possibility to exist and puts you in a position for a favorable outcome. This concept is not about toxic positivity, but rather about intentional focus and filtering out distractions. Research shows that our brains have a reticular activity system that pays attention to what we consider important, so being intentional about what we focus on can change what we see and experience. A simple exercise to practice this is to look for naturally occurring heart shapes every day, as this will train your brain to filter the world in a new way. Ultimately, treating yourself with love and support in the morning can lead to a cascade of positive experiences throughout the day.
Practice self-love daily with high-five habits: Small daily habits like high-fiving reflection and heart can shift negative thought patterns and improve overall well-being
Practicing self-love through small daily habits, like high-fiving your reflection and your heart, can have a profound impact on your daily experience and overall well-being. Our brains are wired to form patterns, and negative thought patterns can keep us feeling stuck. Breaking these patterns requires recognizing that they are not personal, but rather just patterns. The high-five habits, including giving your heart a high five, can help settle the nervous system and create a foundation for new, positive thought patterns. By focusing on fulfilling our emotional needs for ourselves, we can find a sense of safety and love even in challenging situations.
Start your day with a High 5 Habit: High-five yourself in the mirror for 5 days to boost self-confidence and join a supportive community
The High 5 Habit, a new book and challenge by Mel Robbins, encourages individuals to start their day by high-fiving themselves in the mirror for five days in a row. This free challenge, powered by the Growth Day app, provides daily video pep talks and a supportive community to help boost self-confidence and self-esteem. By joining the High Five Challenge and potentially subscribing to Growth Day, listeners can be part of a larger movement and receive support from Mel and millions of others. To learn more and join the challenge, visit highfivechallenge.com. This simple act of self-affirmation can lead to significant personal growth and positively impact one's daily life.
