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    That Rut You’re In – This One Word Could Pull You Out | Nedra Tawwab

    enDecember 27, 2021

    Podcast Summary

    • Exploring the Power of Setting BoundariesSetting boundaries can help individuals find peace and move forward in various areas of their lives, as explored in this episode of the 10% Happier podcast with Nedra Tawab.

      Setting boundaries can help individuals get unstuck in various areas of their lives. This concept, which may seem simple or overused, is broken down into three levels and six types by social worker and New York Times best-selling author Nedra Tawab in her book "Set Boundaries Find Peace." In today's episode of the 10% Happier podcast, Dan Harris interviews Nedra about the importance of setting and maintaining boundaries, even when it's difficult. The interview covers the internal and external manifestations of boundaries, as well as how to summon the courage to set them and respect others' boundaries. This episode marks the beginning of the "Getting Unstuck" series on the 10% Happier podcast, which aims to help listeners overcome inertia and derailment in their lives. The series includes a free 14-day meditation challenge on the 10% Happier app, which starts on January 3rd, 2022. The interview also includes brief references to sensitive subjects such as sexuality, abuse, and neglect, but these discussions are in the service of exploring the many ways setting boundaries can help individuals find peace and move forward. Additionally, Dell Technologies is celebrating its 40th anniversary with anniversary savings on select next-gen PCs, monitors, mice, and other electronics and accessories. To take advantage of these deals, shop online at Dell.com/deals.

    • Hosting the perfect Easter brunch with Whole FoodsWhole Foods offers high-quality ingredients for Easter brunch and convenient catering options with DoorDash delivery.

      This Easter season, Whole Foods Market is the go-to place for hosting the perfect brunch with loved ones. From high-quality cage-free eggs to conveniently catered options, Whole Foods has you covered. Plus, with DoorDash delivery, you can get all your Easter shopping done without leaving home. As for Nedra Tawab, she shared her personal story of overcoming guilt and learning the importance of setting boundaries in her life as a therapist. Boundaries are essential for feeling safe and comfortable in our lives and relationships, and everyone's boundaries are unique. So let's remember to respect others' boundaries and make this Easter a memorable one with the help of Whole Foods and DoorDash.

    • Understanding and communicating healthy boundariesEffective communication of intellectual, sexual, physical, emotional, and material boundaries promotes healthy relationships and emotional intelligence, while porous or rigid boundaries hinder connection and growth.

      Effective communication of boundaries is essential for healthy relationships. Boundaries come in different levels and types, including intellectual, sexual, physical, emotional, and material. Porous boundaries result in people-pleasing and feeling overwhelmed, while rigid boundaries create isolation. Healthy boundaries allow for flexibility and consideration of others. It's crucial to respect and honor these boundaries in various aspects of life, as they impact our thoughts, feelings, possessions, and interactions with others. Communication and understanding of boundaries are key to fostering healthy relationships and promoting emotional intelligence.

    • Communicating Boundaries: Protecting Possessions and TimeCommunicate wishes for possession use and set time boundaries to maintain harmony and prioritize relationships. Wear masks properly for public safety.

      Setting boundaries is essential for protecting our possessions, time, and overall well-being. Our possessions are important to us, and we should communicate our wishes regarding their use. Time boundaries are crucial, especially in today's digitally-connected world, where we have high expectations for immediate responses. Setting clear time boundaries can help us maintain work-life harmony and prioritize our relationships. Regarding masks, it's important to communicate the importance of wearing them properly to ensure public safety. If you encounter someone not wearing a mask correctly, politely ask them to adjust it for the benefit of everyone around them.

    • Setting boundaries takes courage and compassionSetting boundaries is important for both internal and external situations, requires courage and compassion, and can lead to positive responses from others when approached with care and respect.

      Setting boundaries, whether it's with others or for yourself, requires courage and compassion. It can be uncomfortable for some people to ask for what they need or to enforce boundaries, especially during challenging times like a pandemic. But it's important to remember that most people are understanding and will respond positively if approached with care and respect. Additionally, setting boundaries is not just about interacting with others, but also about setting limits for yourself. The internal aspect of boundary setting can be just as important as the external. It's easy to blame external factors for our struggles, but often, we have the power to control our own situations by setting boundaries and saying no. Remember, it's okay to be afraid or unsure, but don't let that stop you from taking care of yourself. And when communicating with others, try to approach the situation with empathy and understanding, rather than judgment or anger.

    • Setting Boundaries for a Healthy Work-Life BalanceIdentify values, communicate boundaries, and stick to them for a balanced work-life schedule. Recognize the brain's response to deadlines and focused time to maximize productivity and happiness.

      Setting boundaries around work and personal life is crucial for maintaining a healthy balance. It's essential to identify your values and create boundaries that align with them. This can mean setting specific work hours or dedicating certain days for personal activities. It's important to remember that everyone's situation is unique, and what works for one person may not work for another. Being conscious of your values and communicating these boundaries to others can lead to greater satisfaction and productivity in both your personal and professional life. Additionally, it's essential to recognize that the brain responds to deadlines and focused time, making it effective to set clear boundaries and stick to them. Ultimately, finding a balance between work and personal life can lead to increased happiness and overall well-being.

    • Setting Boundaries: Necessary for a Balanced LifeSetting boundaries is crucial for maintaining a healthy lifestyle, despite initial discomfort or fear of others' reactions. Most people respect boundaries, leading to stronger relationships.

      Setting boundaries is essential for maintaining a balanced and healthy lifestyle, but it can be a challenging process. People often feel overwhelmed or scared about setting boundaries due to fear of others' reactions. However, the majority of the time, people respect boundaries, and setting them can lead to stronger relationships. When setting boundaries for the first time, allow people time to adjust and be prepared for discomfort on both sides. Remember that you're not alone in feeling uncomfortable, and the relationship may be damaged without boundaries in place. Be brave and trust that the relationship can withstand the boundary-setting process.

    • Enjoying Different Forms of Entertainment and Essentials with BudgetAudible offers a wide range of audio books for entertainment, while Quince provides affordable essentials. Effective boundary setting is crucial, and expressing solutions instead of problems helps maintain positive relationships.

      Audible is a go-to destination for audio entertainment, offering a vast selection of audio books across various genres, including thrillers, mysteries, and true crime. Audible members can choose one title a month to keep, and new members can try it free for 30 days. Quince, on the other hand, is a great source for affordable yet high-quality essentials, such as sweatpants, sweatshirts, t-shirts, and sweaters. Boundary setting is an essential skill, and the key is to communicate the solution to the problem instead of the problem itself. For instance, instead of saying "I don't want to watch your dog," one could say "I'm not able to watch your dog right now." It's essential to be clear, kind, and gentle when setting boundaries. Audible and Quince are two excellent examples of how to enjoy different forms of entertainment and essentials while staying within budget.

    • Identify and communicate needs before exhaustionEffective boundary setting requires careful timing and intentional tone to maintain healthy relationships and prevent conflict.

      Effective boundary setting requires careful consideration of both timing and tone. Setting boundaries when we're already at the boiling point can result in aggressive communication, which may not be received well. Instead, it's important to identify and communicate our needs or requests before we reach a state of exhaustion. Additionally, the way we present our boundaries can impact their reception. By channeling a calm and intentional tone, similar to the approach of famous painting instructor Bob Ross, we increase the likelihood that our message will be absorbed positively. The timing and tone of boundary setting are crucial for maintaining healthy relationships and preventing unnecessary conflict.

    • Expressing positive intentions and setting clear limits in relationshipsEffectively communicate boundaries by expressing positive intentions and setting clear limits using compassionate language and repetition if needed.

      Effectively communicating boundaries in relationships requires expressing positive intentions and setting clear limits. When setting boundaries, it's important to consider the other person's persistence and ability to receive them. Using compassionate language and being prepared to repeat the boundary can help ensure it's respected. For example, if you don't want to watch a friend's dog, you might say "I love you, but I'm not a dog person and it doesn't fit into my life. I don't want to ruin our relationship by not giving your dog the attention it needs. Perhaps there's someone else who would be a better fit for this task." Remember, setting boundaries is an essential aspect of maintaining healthy relationships, and using the right language can make all the difference.

    • Communicating Non-Negotiable BoundariesBe clear and firm when setting non-negotiable boundaries, use simple language, respect your own time and energy, and repeat if necessary.

      Setting clear boundaries is essential, but it may require repeating yourself and being firm. When communicating a boundary that is non-negotiable, use simple and direct language like "stop" or "no." It's okay to be uncomfortable in certain situations, but it's important to consider which discomfort you'd rather experience. You don't have to please everyone or spend time with people whose company you don't enjoy. Instead, focus on respecting your own time and energy by setting appropriate boundaries. Remember, being clear and firm does not mean being rude or insensitive. Be kind and gentle in your communication, but be unwavering in your stance. And if someone continues to push, be prepared to restate your boundary over and over.

    • Respecting Others' Boundaries for Deeper RelationshipsRespecting others' boundaries leads to authentic interactions and happier relationships. Prioritize self-care to improve your well-being and live a happier life.

      Respecting others' boundaries is essential for deeper relationships. In the discussion, Nedra Tawab emphasized the importance of acknowledging and honoring others' boundaries, even if they differ from our own. Ignoring or disregarding boundaries can lead to bigger issues, such as depression and anxiety. On the other hand, respecting boundaries allows for authentic and enjoyable interactions. Additionally, the conversation touched upon the topic of self-care, specifically with the mention of GEDIFY shoes. The shoes offer pain relief and improved posture, making it easier for individuals to tackle their day. When it comes to hiring, the advice was to use Indeed, a matching and hiring platform that helps find quality candidates efficiently. Overall, the key takeaway is to respect others' boundaries and prioritize self-care to build deeper relationships and live a happier life.

    • Understanding Yeses and Nos and Respecting BoundariesEffective communication requires recognizing people's boundaries, respecting their 'no's, and allowing them autonomy. Be mindful of biases and assumptions when interpreting communication styles.

      Effective communication involves understanding the nuances of people's yeses and nos, and respecting their boundaries. It's important to recognize that people may not always be able or willing to do what we ask, and it's crucial to allow them the freedom to say no. Additionally, making educated guesses about people's boundaries based on their behavior and body language can help us navigate social situations more effectively. However, it's essential to remember that boundaries and diversity intersect, and certain groups may face more stigma when setting boundaries. As a result, it's essential to be mindful of the potential biases and assumptions that may influence our perceptions of others' communication styles. Overall, practicing empathy, active listening, and respect for others' autonomy can lead to more meaningful and productive relationships.

    • Understanding Individual Communication Styles and BackgroundsBe mindful of how we label and perceive the behavior of individuals from marginalized communities. Get to know colleagues as individuals, understanding their unique communication styles and backgrounds, to avoid unwarranted judgments and biases. Address complex boundary issues by focusing on underlying mental and emotional challenges.

      It's crucial to be mindful of how we label and perceive the behavior of individuals, especially those from marginalized communities. Misunderstanding or misinterpreting their expressions as aggression or sassiness can hinder their ability to set boundaries. In work environments, it's essential to get to know colleagues as individuals, understanding their unique communication styles and backgrounds, to avoid unwarranted judgments and biases. Furthermore, for individuals who have experienced childhood trauma, setting boundaries can be a complex process. They may struggle with defining and enforcing them due to enmeshment, codependency, guilt, or a desire for acceptance. Addressing these issues requires not only focusing on boundary setting but also addressing the underlying mental and emotional challenges.

    • Setting healthy boundaries for deeper relationshipsLearning about boundaries, communicating needs effectively, and taking action to enforce them leads to deeper, more authentic relationships based on mutual respect and authenticity.

      Setting healthy boundaries is crucial for building and maintaining fulfilling relationships. People who have experienced emotional neglect in their childhood may struggle with understanding age-appropriate behaviors and setting appropriate boundaries. This can lead to confusion and misunderstandings in relationships. By learning about boundaries, communicating needs effectively, and taking action to enforce them, individuals can improve their relationships and ensure they are based on mutual respect and authenticity. Nedra Glover Tawwab, a therapist specializing in this area, emphasizes the importance of this work and encourages people to explore her resources, including her book "Set Boundaries, Find Peace," her workbook, and her Instagram feed (@nedratwobb). By setting healthy boundaries, individuals can create deeper, more authentic relationships that bring greater joy and fulfillment to their lives.

    • A utopian city with a hidden costPura, a crime-free and cost-free city, offers refuge from the harsh realities of the outside world, but comes with a hidden cost.

      Pura is a utopian city, a beacon of safety and stability in a chaotic world. It offers refuge from the harsh realities of climate change and lawlessness that plague the outside world. The city, created by an unnamed narrator, promises a crime-free, cost-free existence. However, the allure of Pura comes with a darker side, hinted at through a disturbing admission from the narrator. Despite the promise of a better life, there seems to be a hidden cost. The podcast "The Last City" from Wondery invites listeners to explore this intriguing concept further, with all episodes available for free on Wondery Plus. For those interested, a free trial is available at Wondery.com/class.

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    Empathy vs. People-Pleasing & How Many Ancestors Do We Have?

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    Today's good news: The line between empathy and people-pleasing is very fine, so here's how to tell the difference. Plus, scientists have mapped an enormous family tree of millions of our ancestors. If you'd like to lend your voice to the Optimist Daily Update, send an email to: editorial@optimistdaily.com. Listen to the Optimist Daily Update with Summers & Kristy - Making Solutions the News!

    41: Couples Therapy.. or Call it Quits?

    41: Couples Therapy.. or Call it Quits?
    Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Justin. This episode is getting back to some drama relating to couples.. Based on the drama and what OP writes we give takes on whether we think couples therapy.. or just get out now!! Connect with us on YouTube to tell us your takes on these stories!

    As always your support is very appreciated: https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes
    Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes

    I Always Think They're Mad at Me

    I Always Think They're Mad at Me
    Today Dr. K talks about what to do when you always feel like your partner is mad at you, how to communicate better, and dealing with preconceptions. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/healthygamergg/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    How to Actually Get People to do What You Ask [Business, mindset, entrepreneur, disruptors]

    How to Actually Get People to do What You Ask [Business, mindset, entrepreneur, disruptors]

    Learn today how to get people to do what you want them to do. Join Rob today as he discusses the dos and don’ts of managing staff and working alongside people to achieve your end goal. He discusses the importance of keeping your cool, why you should only ever see people as your equal and why you are always a server, never a leader.

    KEY TAKEAWAYS

    • The first step of getting people to do what you want them to do is to not get annoyed. Annoyance and frustration can often lead to anger. If the anger leaks out onto the person you are trying to get the job done, then they won’t end up getting it done. They may feel berated, angry and disrespected.

     

    • Nobody can ever live up to your expectations. Your expectations are based on your morals, values and ethics. People will always leave you disappointed if you expect them to live up to your expectations.

     

    • People are only loyal to their values. As soon as you don’t serve their needs they will be gone. You need to ensure that the values of your staff and the people you are trying to influence are getting met. If their needs are getting met, then your needs through them will get met too.

     

    • Trust your staff but verify the main details of the metrics you need to run your business. If you trust people too much and don’t do any checks, things may happen that you did not intend to. When you own the business you are responsible for everything, even the things that you’re staff, suppliers and clients do. Their actions represent you and your brand. Full abdication of all responsibility is not an option.

     

    • In the world that we live in, there is a hierarchical structure. In reality, we are all equal, no one person is better than another. Seeing life in vertical relationships (e.g having subordinates) means you only ever look up or look down to people. You either overly pedestalize people or overly subordinate people. If you subordinate staff members, they will sense that and will no longer wish to work for you.

     

    • Your job is a server, not a leader. You serve your staff members, you work for them. If you do a good job for them, you will gain loyal employees. As one person, you only have 4-7 hours of productive work in you each day. However, if you have 100 staff members and they each put in 5 hours of good work each day, that equals 500 productive hours every day. If you serve your team they will then do good work as a result.

     

    BEST MOMENTS

    “Never think people are loyal to you, they are not. People are loyal to their own values only.”

    “You don’t just manage down, you manage up.”

    “You get the rewards, the recognition, the money the freedom.”

    “We’re all equal, we just have different jobs.”

     

    [Business, mindset, entrepreneur, disruptors]

    VALUABLE RESOURCES

    https://robmoore.com/

    bit.ly/Robsupporter  

    https://robmoore.com/podbooks

     rob.team

    ABOUT THE HOST

    Rob Moore is an author of 9 business books, 5 UK bestsellers, holds 3 world records for public speaking, entrepreneur, property investor, and property educator. Author of the global bestseller “Life Leverage” Host of UK’s No.1 business podcast “Disruptors”

    “If you don't risk anything, you risk everything”

    CONTACT METHOD

    Rob’s official website: https://robmoore.com/

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/robmooreprogressive/?ref=br_rs

    LinkedIn: https://uk.linkedin.com/in/robmoore1979

    disruptive, disruptors, entreprenuer, business, social media, marketing, money, growth, scale, scale up, risk, property: http://www.robmoore.com