Podcast Summary
Maintain a positive and curious energy during negotiations: Being positive and curious during negotiations can improve outcomes, make you smarter, and help collaborate effectively
Understanding the energy of the people you're negotiating with and maintaining a positive, curious demeanor can significantly improve your negotiation outcomes. According to Chris Voss, a former FBI kidnapping negotiator and current negotiation expert, the energy of your counterpart can be a dead giveaway as to their intent to make a deal. If they're distracted or aggressive, it doesn't necessarily mean the negotiation is doomed. In fact, aggression can indicate their intent to deal. However, it's important not to match their energy, as being the second mover in a negotiation can limit your potential to win. Instead, maintain a positive and curious energy, which can help you collaborate effectively and potentially make the deal more beneficial for both parties. Additionally, being in a positive frame of mind can make you 31% smarter and more effective in negotiations. So remember, maintain a positive and curious energy, and don't match your opponent's energy. Instead, bring out the best in both parties by being genuinely curious.
Practice tactical empathy and diffuse negativity: Empathy helps validate and understand others, transforming relationships. Preserve autonomy to make conversations more comfortable and productive.
Our natural tendency towards negativity can hinder productive relationships and conversations. To counteract this, it's essential to practice tactical empathy and diffuse negativity instead of trying to force positivity. Empathy is not agreement or sympathy, but rather acknowledging and understanding the other person's perspective. By demonstrating empathy, we make people feel validated and understood, leading to a magical transformation in the relationship. Additionally, preserving the other person's autonomy is crucial, allowing them to make their own decisions without feeling pressured. This approach can help dismantle potential elephants in the room, making conversations more comfortable and productive in the long run.
The Power of 'That's Right': Using 'that's right' in communication can release oxytocin and create strong connections, but it's different from 'your right' which is a polite agreement.
The use of the phrase "that's right" in communication can lead to the release of oxytocin, which is a bonding hormone. This can create a strong connection between individuals, even if they don't initially share common ground. Trump's use of this technique during his presidency is an example of its power. However, it's important to note that "your right" and "that's right" are not the same thing. "Your right" is a polite way to agree with someone to get them to stop arguing, while "that's right" creates a bond by acknowledging shared beliefs. Understanding this difference can help improve communication and build stronger relationships.
The importance of openness to feedback, even if it's agreement: Be open to various forms of feedback, including agreement, to effectively communicate and lead your team.
It's essential to be open to constructive feedback from team members, even if it comes in the form of agreement. In the story shared, a business executive learned this lesson the hard way when he discovered that his team was politely agreeing with him, but not truly accepting his advice. This realization saved him money and helped him align his team back on their mission. However, it's crucial to recognize that feedback may not always be explicitly stated as "you're right." Instead, it may come in various forms, such as relief or a new idea. The key is to focus on the energy and engagement in the conversation. By being attuned to these subtle cues, leaders can effectively communicate and lead their teams.
Yahoo Finance and Shopify: Empathetic Solutions for Financial News and Business Owners: Yahoo Finance offers financial news and data for informed investing, while Shopify simplifies selling products online with its user-friendly platform and AI tools, providing empathetic solutions for their respective users.
Yahoo Finance and Shopify provide essential tools for investors and business owners respectively, simplifying the process of accessing financial news, analysis, and selling products online. Yahoo Finance, the go-to financial destination, offers comprehensive news and data, while Shopify, the global commerce platform, makes it easy to sell digital and physical products, regardless of the business stage. Sympathetic communication is about acknowledging someone's feelings, while empathetic communication goes a step further by understanding and addressing the root cause. For example, if someone perceives you as an arrogant jerk due to past interactions, a sympathetic response might involve sharing a similar experience. However, an empathetic response acknowledges their pain and fear, creating a sense of calm and understanding. Both Yahoo Finance and Shopify aim to provide such empathetic solutions, making complex tasks more manageable for their users. Shopify's user-friendly platform, coupled with its powerful AI tools, enables entrepreneurs to focus on their business growth rather than the technicalities of setting up an online store. Yahoo Finance, on the other hand, empowers investors with reliable financial news and data, ensuring they make informed decisions. By offering these solutions, both platforms demonstrate a deep understanding of their users' needs and provide empathetic responses to the challenges they face.
Acknowledging and addressing issues is key for effective communication: Recognizing and acknowledging issues fosters understanding, collaboration, and successful negotiations. Use tactical empathy, ask calibrated questions, and respect autonomy.
Acknowledging and recognizing issues or dynamics, rather than denying or avoiding them, is crucial for effective communication and problem-solving. This demonstrates self-awareness and authenticity, which can encourage understanding and collaboration. When dealing with conflicts or disagreements, it's essential to approach the situation with tactical empathy and understanding, creating an environment where individuals feel safe to express their thoughts and consider the group's goals. Asking calibrated questions with a curious and non-accusatory tone can help individuals reflect on their motivations and reasons for being part of a project or group. Additionally, recognizing and respecting the importance of autonomy and the right to say no can lead to more successful negotiations and agreements.
Asking no-inducing questions for successful negotiations: Asking questions that encourage people to say no first can lead to more successful negotiations by revealing their objections and problems, giving valuable information for finding mutually beneficial solutions.
Asking questions in a way that encourages people to say no first can lead to more successful outcomes in negotiations. This counterintuitive approach is based on the psychological fact that people feel safe and in control when they say no. By asking questions that elicit a no response, you can encourage the other party to lay out their problems and objections, giving you valuable information to address and find a mutually beneficial solution. This technique, while simple in concept, goes against our natural inclination to ask questions designed to elicit a yes response. By practicing this approach in small conversations, you can build the confidence and skills needed to use it effectively in high-stakes negotiations. Another tactic for giving the illusion of control is using what and how questions, which allow the other party to feel they are in control of the conversation while still guiding it towards a productive outcome.
Asking open-ended questions in negotiations gives control to the other party: Effective communication in negotiations includes asking open-ended questions to build trust, understand complexities, and prevent misunderstandings. Using a hiring platform like Indeed saves time and resources by attracting and interviewing candidates all in one place.
Effective communication in negotiations involves giving the other party a sense of control by asking open-ended questions, even if the answers are obvious or difficult to implement. This technique, known as the "how am I supposed to do that?" question, makes the other side think about the complexities of the problem without them realizing it. Meanwhile, in hiring, using a platform like Indeed can save time and resources by attracting and interviewing candidates all in one place, with a high percentage of perfect matches for job requirements. Regarding accusations audits, this is an exercise in anticipating potential negative perceptions from the other side and addressing them proactively. By acknowledging and refuting potential criticisms, negotiators can build trust and credibility, and prevent misunderstandings or negative emotions from derailing the negotiation. This approach requires empathy and self-awareness, as well as a willingness to address potential concerns head-on.
Non-verbal communication makes up 93% of our messages: Effective communication involves understanding and mastering non-verbal cues like tone of voice and body language to enhance overall communication skills.
Effective communication goes beyond just the words we use. According to the discussion, around 93% of our communication is non-verbal, consisting of tone of voice and body language. A simple example given was how the same words, "wow that was a smart remark," can have completely different meanings depending on the tone of voice. Similarly, body language plays a significant role in communication. For instance, tilting one's head and raising eyebrows can encourage people to open up, while mismatched body language and words can signal dishonesty or disagreement. In sales, this understanding is crucial, as warning customers about potential high prices can actually help them accept the price more willingly, as they prepare themselves for a worse outcome. Additionally, the Candyman example illustrates the importance of expectation management and the psychological impact of bracing oneself for negative information. Overall, the conversation highlights the importance of being aware of and mastering non-verbal communication to enhance our overall communication skills.
Using labels instead of questions for candid responses: Labels can elicit quick, unvarnished thoughts and encourage open communication in negotiations and information gathering situations. People's desire to correct others can be leveraged to obtain more accurate and detailed information.
Using labels instead of questions during conversations can lead to more candid and unfiltered responses from people. This approach, as explained by the speaker, is based on the idea that questions can trigger deep thinking and guarded answers, while labels can elicit quick, unvarnished thoughts. This strategy was found to be particularly effective in negotiations and situations where obtaining accurate and detailed information is crucial. The speaker also mentioned that people have a strong desire to correct others, and this desire can be leveraged to encourage more open communication. A classic example of this was given, where a student in a real estate negotiation inadvertently revealed sensitive information by correcting the label used by the other party. This insight can be valuable for anyone looking to improve their communication skills, especially in professional or business settings.
The importance of dedication and service to something greater: Dedication and service to something larger than oneself can lead to personal growth and success, as shown in the anecdote of a business negotiation and the lives of billionaires David Geffen and Clive Davis.
Focusing on the journey and dedicating oneself to something larger than oneself are key to profiting in life. This was emphasized during a conversation between Chris and a business coach, who shared an anecdote about a business negotiation where one party threw their colleague under the bus inadvertently. Despite the mistake, the information shared led to a resolution and served as a reminder that there are other riches besides money, with dedication and service to something greater being crucial. Chris further emphasized this by sharing his inspiration from the lives of billionaires David Geffen and Clive Davis, who found happiness and success in their dedication to the arts and music, respectively. To learn more about Chris and his work, listeners can subscribe to his newsletter, "The Edge," which provides actionable and concise content to help raise one's negotiation game and view life differently.
