Podcast Summary
Join the Yap Society on Slack for networking and feedback: Former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss shared effective negotiation strategies on the Young and Profiting podcast, inspiring listeners to join the Yap Society on Slack for networking and feedback, sponsored by Rethink Creative Group
The Young and Profiting podcast has launched the Yap Society on Slack, a community for listeners to network and give feedback, sponsored by Compass HQ. Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator and author of "Never Split the Difference," shared insights on effective negotiation strategies. Voss transitioned from law enforcement to negotiation after an injury and found the experience on a suicide hotline to be fascinating. He had no idea negotiation would become his calling, but his curiosity and desire to be creative and innovative led him to a successful career in the field. The podcast is sponsored by Rethink Creative Group, a digital advertising, marketing, and content creation agency that generates results for businesses. To join the Yap Society on Slack, visit bit.ly/yapsociety. For marketing services, go to rethink.agency/yap.
Negotiation is a daily skill, not just for formal situations: Understanding human nature and practicing niceness can lead to better negotiation outcomes, even in everyday situations. Chris Voss' principles offer practical tools for effective negotiation and relationship building.
Negotiation is a skill we use every day, not just in formal situations like business deals or hostage situations. It's important to understand that we're always negotiating, even in small interactions like ordering coffee at Starbucks. Practicing being nice and building positive relationships can lead to better outcomes in both everyday and formal negotiations. Additionally, human nature plays a big role in negotiation, as our emotions and urges often guide our decisions more than rational thought or logic. Understanding these animalistic urges and learning to use them to our advantage can make us more effective negotiators. Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator and author of the book "Never Split the Difference," provides valuable insights into how to do just that. His principles, based on real-life experience, offer practical tools for negotiating effectively and building strong relationships.
Understanding and addressing fears in negotiations: Acknowledging fears in negotiations can lead to faster agreements and better outcomes. Being aware of cognitive biases like emotional anchoring and assumption of normalcy can help avoid misunderstandings and conflict.
Our fears significantly influence our thinking and behavior in negotiations, often three times more than our desires. Understanding and addressing this can lead to faster agreements and better outcomes. Hostage negotiators use this insight to diffuse people's fears by acknowledging them instead of denying or minimizing them. This concept is known as labeling or acknowledging emotions. Another important concept is cognitive bias, which distorts our perception of reality. For instance, emotional anchoring and the assumption of normalcy can lead to misunderstandings and conflict. To avoid these biases, it's essential to be aware of them and make a conscious effort to consider different perspectives. In essence, recognizing and addressing our fears and cognitive biases can improve our negotiation skills and outcomes.
Assumptions can hinder effective communication in negotiations: Recognize and label dynamics without making assumptions, respond with soft language, and understand the impact of different voices on the brain
Assumptions based on our own cognitive biases can hinder effective communication in negotiations. To avoid this, it's important to recognize and label the dynamics at play, such as silence or apparent anger, without making assumptions about the other person's thoughts or feelings. Instead, respond with soft and gentle language to encourage feedback. There are three different voices that can be used in negotiation, each with distinct effects on the brain. The calming and soothing voice, or the hostage negotiator voice, reaches the mirror neurons and triggers a chemical change that calms and soothes the listener. The assertive voice, which is direct and honest, can trigger negative emotions like anger and should be used with caution. The combinator's voice, which is warm and friendly, creates a sense of connection and is generally well-received. Understanding these voices and their effects can help improve communication and negotiation outcomes.
Building rapport in negotiation through mirroring: Mirroring words and showing genuine likability during negotiation triggers positive emotions, strengthens relationships, and leads to win-win deals
Negotiation is not just about getting what you want, but also about building rapport and making the other party feel good about the deal. By mirroring their words and showing genuine likability, you can trigger positive emotions in their brain, leading to the release of chemicals like dopamine and serotonin. This not only makes you both smarter and more effective negotiators, but also strengthens relationships. It's important to remember, however, not to let the need to be liked take control. Instead, focus on expressing your own desires and letting the other party talk freely. By encouraging them to share their ideas and gently guiding the conversation, you can create a win-win situation where both parties feel like they have achieved their goals. Mirroring, both in body language and verbally, is an effective tool for building rapport and trust, making it an essential skill for successful negotiation.
Using mirroring in negotiations can lead to valuable information: Mirroring, a negotiation technique, involves repeating back what the other person says. It can encourage them to share more info and was effective in a bank robbery case. Shopify offers an easy online store setup and versatile features, helping businesses grow with up to 36% higher conversion rates.
Mirroring, a negotiation technique where you repeat back what the other person has said, can lead people to reveal information they might not otherwise share. This was demonstrated in a real-life bank robbery case where a negotiator used mirroring to extract an admission from the ringleader about a getaway driver, ultimately leading to his arrest. Mirroring is particularly effective when you're taken aback by what someone says, as it allows you to respond in a non-threatening way and encourages the person to continue sharing information. Additionally, the ease of setting up an online store with platforms like Shopify can help entrepreneurs focus on growing their business instead of worrying about the technical aspects. Shopify offers features like easy website setup, digital product sales, and even in-person POS systems, making it a versatile choice for businesses at various stages of growth. With Shopify, businesses can increase their conversion rates by up to 36% compared to other options, and they have access to award-winning customer support to help them succeed. So, whether you're just starting out or looking to scale your existing business, consider the power of mirroring in negotiations and the convenience of Shopify for your online store.
Understanding emotions in communication and negotiation: Apologizing before assertions and labeling emotions can deepen emotional engagement and lead to better outcomes in communication and negotiation.
Effective communication and negotiation involve understanding and acknowledging emotions, and using the right language can make a significant impact. Apologizing before making an assertion, for instance, can make the other person feel powerful and curious, leading to deeper emotional engagement. Labeling emotions, both positive and negative, is another powerful tool that can help build rapport and collaboration. By accurately identifying and acknowledging emotions, you can make the other person feel understood, which can lead to more productive conversations and better outcomes. It's important to remember to let your labels sink in and give the other person time to process before speaking again. Practicing these techniques can help you connect with people more deeply and build stronger relationships.
Use 'no' to encourage authentic responses: Avoid pushing for 'yes' and instead allow 'no' to lead to clearer and more honest communication
Being indirect and avoiding the use of the word "I" in labeling can help make the other person feel heard and attended to during conversations. Additionally, the power of the word "no" should not be underestimated, as it can lead to negotiation and authentic responses. Pushing for "yes" can be detrimental as it can lead to false agreements and a loss of autonomy. By going for "no" and allowing the other person to express their disagreements or objections, they are more likely to provide clear and honest feedback, leading to better communication and understanding.
Saying 'no' is a way forward in negotiation: When decision-fatigued, communicate clear 'no's and provide guidance. Use 'that's right' to acknowledge and understand others' perspectives, and avoid compromise for mutually beneficial solutions.
In negotiation, saying "no" is not a roadblock but rather a way forward. People are often decision-fatigued and unable to make yes decisions towards the end of the day. However, when we're decision-fatigued, we can still clearly communicate our "no's" and provide guidance if necessary. Another important concept is the use of the phrase "that's right." This phrase is magical in negotiation as it signals that the other person feels completely understood. Instead of making our case, we should focus on summarizing their perspective and acknowledging their concerns. When someone says "that's right," it's an epiphany moment, and they are fully committed to working with us. Compromise, on the other hand, is often a failure in negotiation as people who offer to split the difference may be misrepresenting their true intentions. Instead, we should aim to understand the other person's perspective and find a mutually beneficial solution.
Aim for the best deal possible, no deal is better than a bad deal: Aim for mutually beneficial deals, don't settle for less than ideal terms, and remember that no deal is better than a bad deal.
Compromise isn't always the best solution in negotiations or business deals. Instead, aim for the best deal possible for both parties, even if it means walking away from a deal if the terms aren't favorable. The concept of "no deal is better than a bad deal" was emphasized, as a bad deal can lead to unhappiness, anxiety, ongoing disappointment, and resentment. The speaker shared a personal experience where they signed a bad deal, which aged them and cost them valuable time and resources. To illustrate this concept further, the speaker mentioned a negotiation game called the ultimatum game, where one person proposes a split of a $10 find, and the other person accepts or rejects the proposal. The only rational answer is for each person to propose and accept an unequal split, as a fair split wouldn't result in a deal. This game highlights the importance of being open to better opportunities and not settling for less than ideal terms.
Emotions and perceptions of fairness impact decisions: Understanding emotional drivers can lead to more rational decisions in situations like splitting money or meeting deadlines.
Our reactions to situations, such as splitting money or dealing with deadlines, can be irrational and emotionally driven, even when the actual financial or time implications remain the same. In the context of splitting money, the speaker emphasizes that the only rational decision is to take the guaranteed split, as anything else is based on emotions and perceptions of fairness. Similarly, deadlines can be used as a prompt for action, but our reactions to them can be influenced by emotions and a sense of fairness. It's important to understand the psychological implications of deadlines and communicate openly about them to avoid misunderstandings and missed opportunities. Overall, being aware of the emotional drivers behind our reactions can help us make more rational decisions and improve our negotiation skills.
Starting the negotiation with your price can put you at a disadvantage: Wait until you're confident of your position before revealing your price, offer a range instead of a specific number, and be direct about your higher price to shift focus to the value provided.
When it comes to pricing in negotiations, it's important to understand the dynamics of the situation and the role you play in the negotiation. According to the discussion, naming your price first can put you at a disadvantage, as the other party may assume there's room for negotiation and try to lower it. Instead, it's recommended to wait until you have a better sense of whether you're the favorite or not, and to only reveal your price when you're confident it's a fair one. Another key point is to offer a range rather than a specific number, as this can help prevent the other party from focusing too much on the exact price and instead focus on the value you're providing. Additionally, being direct about the fact that your price may be higher than expected can help shift the focus of the negotiation to the more important aspects of the deal.
Stick to the extremes for a clear position in negotiation: Be prepared with a clear and firm position, even if it's an extreme one. Odd numbers can make your proposal seem more concrete and real.
When negotiating, it's important to be prepared with a clear and firm position, even if that means sticking to the extremes of a proposed range. As Chris Voss explained, people tend to gravitate towards the ends of a range, so if you throw out a number, be prepared for them to take it. Odd numbers can also be advantageous, as they can make your proposal feel more concrete and real. Chris shared several examples of students successfully negotiating using this strategy, including one who secured a rent deal with an odd number after appearing to write down numerous options. To stay informed about Chris's negotiation techniques and other resources, be sure to subscribe to the Yap Society newsletter by texting "FBI empathy" to 22828.
