Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast

Have you seen it yet? That moment when your daughter comes home from school after the long break and looks at you with wary eyes, a furrowed brow and lips that appear to be moving but she’s stumbling over her words and there’s no audible sound.

I feel like we’ve all been there. That moment in time where you want to clearly articulate the thoughts swirling around in your head and release the mixed emotions weighing you down, but the sense of overwhelm creates a frustrating mental block and prevents you from saying anything at all. 

The clients in my 90 Days to a More Resilient Teencoaching program are reporting that the all the big emotions, especially their mixed emotions about being back in school after a long break is causing them to grapple with their desire to see their friends and get back to a productive routine AND manage their long list of expectations, and the inevitable social uncertainties and ‘what ifs’. 

That’s why we’re going to talk about 3 simple tips that’ll make your daughter’s mind work FOR her instead of against her by dissolving her mental blocks, so she has the clarity she needs to walk confidently into her future. You’ll find the full episode and more resources for parenting your teenage daughter at cultivatingresilientteens.com

Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!

I’ve never been a fan of new year’s resolutions. Maybe it’s because the conversations I had with my mom were more about reinventing ourselves. And so, I’ve always been a believer that you don’t need to wait until tomorrow, next month or for a big milestone – you can begin again – anytime.

Beginning again is simply about tuning in and being honest with yourself. Which, I’ll admit, wasn’t always easy for me. Growing up I was labeled as the ‘shy’ girl. But in reality, my shy demeanor was a byproduct of being highly sensitive.

And, if your daughter is a big feeler, please know that it’s a natural instinct to want to ignore or disengage from life’s challenges, especially if they feel too big and unsolvable.

The game changing point and the first step to cultivating a resilient teen for all her adventures in life is to develop self K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E or a clear sense of self.

This approach helped me embrace my gifts so I could begin again with an open-heart and clear mind and be who I wanted to be and show up how I wanted to show up in life.

That’s why I’m excited to share a fan favorite strategy with you in today’s episode. It’s a strategy that you and your daughter can start using right now – no need to wait until the ball drops at midnight or you open up your 2024 calendar.

You can find the full episode and more resources for parenting your teenage daughter at https://cultivatingresilientteens.com/

Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!

We all know that comparison is a confidence killer. But ‘what if’ you flip the coin and look at the other side of comparison as a catalyst, a sign, that you’re ready to create more for yourself? Begin again. 

The cool thing about learning how to flip the coin and begin again is it’s not as hard as your daughter might think it is and here’s why…her experiences – all of them - the messy ones and the amazing ones serve as a personal signpost, to offer guidance for all her adventures in life.

The million-dollar question is…is your daughter paying attention to the signs as she moves through her journey, or is she just going through the motions, allowing her external environment to dictate her mood and her past to dictate her future?

In today’s episode we’re going to unpack why it’s so important for your daughter to learn how to stop, look and listen so she can become adept at interpreting what each life lesson, each signpost, is offering. Because when she’s tuned in and exercising agency over her adventures in life, she’ll naturally see her significance, that she matters and that see that she has something unique to offer the world.

Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!

Is it time to calm your daughter's exam anxiety?

Hey Parents,

Parenting teenagers is no small feat, but being a parent during final exams is akin to stepping into the realm of unsung heroes. I remember thinking that I could write my final psych paper while also listening to Prince’s new album, Purple Rain. I also remember my mom walking into my room, shaking her head, and telling me this approach wasn’t going to work.  

 Unfortunately, my lack of self-awareness at the time left me sitting with a blank sheet of paper for the better half of my Sunday afternoon until I finally turned off the tape and got to work. 

But hey, I memorized all the lyrics – that counts for something, right?

Anyway, the funny - not funny thing is the real issue, what was ACTUALLY keeping me from writing my paper, was never addressed. 

The focus was only on time management. And while time management is important, there’s something more important because it’s probably keeping your daughter from doing what she needs to do.

A crucial skill she hasn’t learned – yet. 

So, in today’s episode, we’re going to address that crucial skill – mind management. We’re going to dive into 3 Stress-Busting Steps that will prime your daughter’s mind so she can maximize her mind and her time.

You’ll find the full episode and more resources for parenting your teenage daughter at https://cultivatingresilientteens.com/podcast/

Links: Ep – 41 The 3 Main Issues That Cause Social Anxiety and How to ‘Grow Through’ These Challenges

Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!

Hey parents, is your daughter’s social life running her or is she running her social life? 

Teenage girls come to me all the time feeling confused, hurt, and distraught by other people’s behavior. When someone says or does something that’s inconsistent with your perception of them, or different from how you believe they’re supposed to behave, it creates internal conflict. And internal conflict turns around and creates anxiety.

As you might imagine, I hear a lot about the daily lives of teenage girls in my 90 Days to a More Resilient Teen Coaching Program. So, if you’re not sure if your daughter’s social life is running her or if she’s running her social life, or why this is even important, stay tuned. 

For years my clients, teenage girls, have reported that their social scenarios consume 60% or more of their emotional bandwidth. Meaning, if there’s something stirring within her tribe or there’s a perceived social conflict, it’s really hard to concentrate in class, or be fully present with you at home.

 The 3 Main Issues: Rank, Reputation and Rumors

 Wouldn’t it be nice if social conflicts were less impactful or just disappeared altogether! I’m here to tell you, as strange as it may sound, that these conflicts offer an opportunity for your daughter to grow through what she’s going through. 

 Yes, it’s true. With the right tools, your daughter will cultivate her confidence, resilience, and integrity when she sees that she can handle and grow from any conflict.

While there are a zillion social scenarios that can be anxiety provoking, there are three that I repeatedly hear about. Because when they’re active, they turn a mild social 
conflict into a scary, intimidating one. 

The Entrance Strategy

The good news is, this episode introduces you to an effective, simple strategy your daughter can use anytime and anywhere!

What’s The Entrance Strategy?  The Entrance Strategy consists of 3 clarifying and empowering questions that will give your daughter what she needs to ‘grow through’ what’s she’s going through.

Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!

Hey parents,

Does your daughter’s anxiety come from thinking about her future, or trying to control it?

It’s no mystery that uncertainty has the power to ignite the strongest human emotions – anxiety and fear.

And if fear and anxiety are the ‘kryptonite’ that are keeping your daughter from establishing the friendships she craves or developing a strong sense of self, stay tuned.

This episode is designed to help you empower your teenage daughter so she’s:

·         ready to handle anything that comes her way

·         and cultivate friendships that make her laugh until she cries (in a good way, of course!)

Okay, I don’t know about you, but I my relationship with anxiety and fear are definitely a work-in-progress.

And as a parent and teen coach, my private coaching clients consistently share stories with me where fear is almost always the cause, or undercurrent, that’s fueling their anxiety. 

If you think about how uneasy you feel when everything around you is unpredictable, it’s human nature to seek control where you can - or - where you think you can. 

Welcome back to the cultivating resilient teens podcast where you can always find the show notes and resources on my website, cultivatingresilientteens.com.

Podcast Resources

Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?

Episode #18 2 Key Elements Your Daughter Needs to Design Healthy Social Scenarios

Anxiety Quote: “Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future, but from wanting to control it” by Author Kahlil Gibran

Book: Enough As She Is by Rachel Simmons

Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!

Hey Parents,

Is your teenage daughter feeling a bit overwhelmed by ‘all the things’ right now?

• what’s going on around her? 
• how she fits into her world?
• and how to be okay with missing something?

The fear of missing out and the fear of messing up are REAL for teenage girls.

And seem to be a hot button issue right now.

Thankfully we’re back to in-person learning here in the US, though, like every new beginning, there are some residual pandemic issues that are still being ironed out. 

One of the issues I’m hearing a lot about from the teenage girls enrolled in my 90 Days to a More Resilient Teen Coaching Programis that even though they’re surrounded by their peers, they are feeling socially disconnected and lonely.

So, I was curious to learn more. 

Why, even though they are physically together again, and ready for new and deeper relationships, these girls are reporting: 

• a lack of confidence as to how to take the next step 
• and often feel stifled by the fear and uncertainty their efforts won’t be reciprocated

Welcome back to the cultivating resilient teens podcast where you can find the full show notes and resources at cultivatingresilientteens.com.

Recap

Okay, let’s quickly recap today’s key points.

If your daughter is like most teenage girls, she may be feeling socially disconnected and a bit lonely, even though she’s back to in-person learning.

The most effective way to begin to build the deeper connection she’s ready for, is to simply be aware of if she’s bringing her past wounds into her present environment and try the 3-2-1 strategy so she can redirect, reconnect and redesign her relationships.

And, if seeing her struggle this triggering for you, simply recognize that’s a natural response and try asking her what would be helpful in this situation.

Lastly, please, please, please remember that when you approach ‘all the things’ with the attitude that you’re here to learn, you can’t do this wrong.

It’s truly about learning and growing together. 

Until next time, here’s to cultivating a more resilient teen.

Podcast Resources:

90 Days to a More Resilient Teen Coaching Program

cultivatingresilientteens.com

Ep – 26 How to Support Your Daughter When Her Friendships Are Falling Apart

Ep – 28 How to Break Free from Thinking Errors that Wreck Your Daughter’s Confidence

Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!

Hey parents,

Have you ever heard the saying … ‘what you resist persists’?

I mean, could it really be true that, in your daughter’s attempt to push away all those unwanted things, she only attracts more unwanted things?

The father of analytical psychology, Carl Jung, suggests that in your attempt to ‘resist’ certain situations, by focusing on what you don’t want, you actually cause those unwanted things to persist, or even grow.

Welcome back the Cultivating Resilient Teens podcast where I want to invite you and your daughter to try a quick brain game with me.

You can close your eyes, or simply use your mind’s eye to visualize something you desire … a giant scoop of ice cream, a beautiful sunset, or a fun event with friends.

Now, DON’T imagine a giant pink elephant.

Okay … did a giant pink elephant just photo bomb your image?

This is just one small example of the power your daughter has over her mind.

And why two key concepts play a huge role in her ability to build confidence, integrity and resilience for all of life’s adventures.

Find the complete show notes and the two key concepts on my website, cultivatingresilientteens.com.

Podcast Resources:

Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?

Ep – 37 How to Handle Your Daughter’s Toughest Social Challenge

90 Days to a More Resilient Teen Coaching Program

Being Sensitive Can Be a Challenge … This Strategy Set Me Free!

Episode #11 Help Your Daughter Stay Focused in a World Full of Distractions with a 3 Step Solution

Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!

Hey parents,

I have a question for you … what throws your teenage daughter off more - her big emotions OR the after-effects that follow her reaction to her big emotions? 

Welcome back to the cultivating resilient teens podcast.

If you’re listening today, you probably recognize the value in understanding, and learning how to manage emotions capable of rocking your household and social circles.

So, today’s episode is offering you a ‘What to do When’ Guide that’s designed to help you and your daughter effectively handle the big emotions that stem from her toughest social challenges. 

And hopefully this guide is applicable with some of the other tough stuff too.

Because with all the ‘gears in motion’ during the adolescent years, having tools that minimize the guilt and guesswork are golden.

(Remember, all the resources shared in the podcast, including the full show notes, can be found on my website, cultivatingresilientteens.com.)

Thank You

Before we get into the guide, I want to send a shout out to the parents who courageously shared their daughter’s toughest social challenges with me.

Even though your daughter’s experiences were not easy for her - or you - it felt good to see each of you find an approach that moved the needle in a positive, feel-good direction. 

A Common Theme

Although each girl’s ‘toughest social challenge’ story felt unique, there was an obvious theme.

When your daughter is lied to by friends she trusts and believes has her back - is clearly one of the hardest experiences to navigate for passionate, connection seeking teens.

And, I’ll be honest with you, I almost ditched this podcast idea.

Maybe you can relate, because if you’re like me, being lied to touches on a pretty tender place inside me that doesn’t really enjoy, and certainly resists being poked at, if you know what I mean.

The Power of Self-Compassion

So, rather than spending time dissecting why teenage girls lie to one another; a conversation that I believe is most productive between coach and client in a safe, co-creative environment – I want to introduce you to the work of Dr. Kristin Neff because navigating, healing, and supporting those tender places inside your daughter needs a solid dose of self-compassion.

Find the Full Show Notes, including Your “What to do When’ Guide, visit my website, cultivatingresilientteens.com.

Podcast Resources:

Wikipedia, Self-Compassion

Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power to Thrive | Kristin Neff, Ph.D. 

Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?

90 Days to a More Resilient Teen Coaching Program

https://thriveglobal.com/stories/how-to-raise-a-socially-intelligent-and-resilient-teenager/

Episode #6 3 Simple Steps to Quiet Your Daughter’s Inner Critic and Boost her Self-Confidence

Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!

Hey parents,

I’m interrupting the regularly scheduled podcast to bring up a concerning issue I experienced, the clients enrolled in my 90 Days to a More Resilient Teen Coaching Program are talking about, and maybe it’s coming up for your daughter, too.

As we’re moving through the covid pandemic - a time that challenged us collectively and impacted each of us a little differently – there appears to be a heightened sense of awareness that’s positive in some ways and a bit damaging, in others.

What’s Happening

As you know, most teenage girls already feel like they’re over scrutinized and judged.

So, when your daughter feels a heightened sense of what other people may be thinking and saying, a chain reaction often occurs that looks something like … 

• Overthinking or distorted thinking about comments / situations
• Second guessing herself and her role in the interactions
• And unexplained fatigue or an overall lack of motivation

I think we can all agree that now more than ever, your daughter needs and deserves to experience moments of joy and spontaneity to make up for all the missed opportunities.

And, I wanted to say, that the next episode will be part three of the deep dive into your daughter’s sense of self with the ‘What to do When’ Guide.

Because I think your shared experiences – thank you for trusting me with your personal stories - are definitely going to help other parents and teens realize they’re not alone on this often-tumultuous journey.

Actually, the ‘What to do When’ Guide is morphing into a series of its own, so stay tuned as I break down the problems and solutions into smaller, more digestible pieces.

Today’s Question

Okay, let’s get into today’s question … 

how many times has your daughter replayed a past situation in her head and wondered what would have happened if she responded or reacted differently?

As I was reflecting on the situations my private coaching clients are experiencing, I wanted to invite you and your daughter to take a moment and assess what you’re feeling and observing too.

It seems the upside to the pandemic is that overall, people seem less tense and are more cordial.

But the pandemic also seems to have opened the door to increased scrutiny of others.

The intense feeling of being overly assessed by your peers or by strangers, usually doesn’t feel good, and will certainly have an impact on your daughter’s sense of self and her social scenarios.

Tuning In

Personally speaking, as a parent and teen coach I really do my best to stay in tune with my thoughts and emotions and use effective tools and strategies to keep a clear mind so I can show up in the world in a way that feels good to me.

But because I’m also a human, I’m not immune to the tough emotions that get triggered when I feel like I’m being judged or totally misunderstood.

And last week, I got a taste for what my clients have been talking about.

I think you'll enjoy hearing how my situation helped me understand, on a personal level, what my clients have been talking about.

Find the full Show Notes on my website, cultivatingresilientteens.com.

Podcast Resources:

90 Days to a More Resilient Teen Coaching Program

Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!

Hey parents, 

How much do your daughter’s friendships influence HER attitude, mood and motivation?

As a parent and teen coach I hear a lot of stories about how other people’s actions and reactions seem to affect my client’s well-being.

Of course, it’s natural for connection seeking teens to be influenced by their environment, especially their social scenarios.

The hard part is, humans, not just teenage girls, are naturally fickle.

So, if your daughter is always acting or reacting to what’s happening in her external environment, in the moment, she may feel like she’s constantly bouncing around like a ping pong ball … up one minute, down the next. 

And truth be told, even if her wild emotions give her a boost of energy, it’s not a healthy habit she’ll want to keep around. 

Heads Up

Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast

This is the second podcast of a three-part series where we’re diving deeper into what it looks like to develop your daughter’s sense of self and how she can design social scenarios that align with who she truly is or who she desires to be. 

Find the complete show notes, resources, and links to previous episodes on my website, cultivating resilient teens.com.

Before we get rolling today, I want to give you a little heads up that today’s topic, if you’re listing with your daughter, may evoke an eye roll before a head nod, and here’s why.

Most teenage girls have:

·         beliefs

·         hopes 

·         and expectations 

that influence how they go about creating and keeping friendships.

Unfortunately, there’s not a whole lot of information or conversation about how those beliefs, hopes and expectations come to fruition.

Though, they’re often the result of their upbringing, environment, and past social experiences.

So here’s the hard part, if your daughter isn’t aware of what her beliefs, hopes and expectations are - and how they influence her relationships - she’s going to bounce.

If she’s getting the attention that meets her expectations, she’ll bounce up.

And when she doesn’t get the reaction or response she wants, her mood will dip.

ME and WE

As you might imagine, relying on other people to moderate her mood and motivation level is exhausting, and will leave her feeling pretty powerless. 

The good news is it doesn’t have to be that way.

When your daughter is clear with her core friendship values, she’ll be able to establish a clear boundary between ME and WE.

3 Red Flags

In order to set clear boundaries, you’ll want to be aware of a few situations, or red flags, that cause things to get messy. 

You can read about the 3 Red Flags and the Simple Solution to Raising a Socially Resilient Teen on my website, cultivatingresilientteens.com.

Keeping in Real

Like I’ve said before, ya all are what make this podcast REAL and meaningful.

Thank you for being here, for spending the time to build this community, for sharing this podcast with your friends, for trusting me to work with you and your daughter and for coming together so we can collectively empower teenage girls to build confidence integrity and resilience for all of life’s adventures.

I look forward to talking with you about ‘What to do When …?’ because when you have a guide to handle life’s toughest social challenges with grace and ease, you’ll feel good about your responses and eliminate the guilt and guesswork.

Until next time my friends, know that I’m thinking of you!

Podcast Resources:

Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!

Hey parents, 

I wanted to share a personal conversation I had with a dear friend I’ve known for over 30 years because she raised a great question that’s relatable to anyone raising teens. 

 My girlfriend and I met when we were in the thick of our teenage years and now, we’re both raising teens, so we naturally we found ourselves talking about all the social complexities teens experience, particularly when it comes to concept of defining your daughter’s ideal “tribe.”

I’m so grateful my girlfriend brought up this issue because, honestly, as a new podcaster, it’s really easy to get caught up in what the experts say you’re supposed to do to have a successful podcast.

 The Proverbial Box

 Between you and I, I’ve never thrived when I’ve had to operate inside the ‘proverbial’ box.

 And when it comes to defining a tribe that feels good to your daughter – that doesn’t fit inside a box either.

 Which may cause some confusion if she’s comparing her interests to what she sees on her media platforms.

 Because the larger and fancier the group photo, the more she may think … huge tribe = happiness. 

 But deep down, we all know that what we think we need isn’t always what we really need.

 The Million Dollar Question

 And that’s why I’d like to ask you … how does YOUR daughter define her tribe?

 Find the full Podcast Episode, including what you can do as parents, at cultivatingresilientteens.com

Lastly, one of the best parts of this podcast is YOU. 

And our community is growing quickly.

It’s super cool to see you’re listening across the globe because we all share this common trait – we’re stronger when we feel connected to one another.

So, if you’d take a moment and post one strategy you’ve found helpful on the iTunes podcast app, that would be awesome.

Your interaction helps other parents, just like us, find the show.

Okay, that’s all for today.

I look forward to connecting with you next time.

Podcast Resources:

Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?

Episode #18 2 Key Elements Your Daughter Needs to Design Healthy Social Scenarios

Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!

Hey Parents, does your teenage daughter doubt herself or feel like there’s something fundamentally wrong with her when things don’t work out?

It’s so easy to weave the “Ugh, what’s wrong with ME?” narrative into an emotionally triggering situation.

The Good News

The good news is, there’s an effective way for your daughter to deactivate doubt, get stronger and feel more self-confident. 

Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast where you can find the full show notes at cultivatingresilientteens.com.

What’s Really Going On? 

So, as we move into the summer months, whether your daughter will be part of a 

• new club
• camp
• team 

OR is planning to be more of a free-range chicken and in charge of her daily activities, it’s worth taking the time to continue to learn about her developing sense of self and how to design healthy social scenarios. 

Because, understanding how she sees herself, what she thinks about herself and how she talks to and about herself will give you the clues YOU NEED to empower her to build her confidence, integrity and resilience for all of life’s adventures.

The Figure it Out Formula

The secret in the secret formula is this – it takes you right to the heart of the matter. 

And getting to the heart of the matter will help keep your daughter out of the weeds.

The Figure it Out Formula goes like this … turn your left palm over so it’s facing upwards.

Find the 5 Steps to the complete show notes, including The Figure it Out Formula on my website, https://cultivatingresilientteens.com/podcast/

Podcast Resources:

Ep – 27 3 Insights Every Teenage Girl Needs to Ace Tricky Social Situations

Ep – 28 How to Break Free from Thinking Errors that Wreck Your Daughter’s Confidence

Ep 29 - A Bite-Sized Solution to Protect your Daughter’s Most Important Asset

Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!

Hey Parents,

Does your teenage daughter have a plan to stay confident and mentally clear when she’s emotionally triggered?

After making a very long list on a giant piece of paper, the teenage girls in my social media group just sat back with that deer-in-headlights look.

I think they were more stunned than I was at the list they’d created.

The task was to identify all the all the “parts” of social media they deal with on a daily basis.

What confuses them.

What makes them feel bad.

And, what’s fun, too.

We definitely didn’t want to forget about the fun stuff, because being able to instantly connect with your friends can be great.

And seeing each other on the map is pretty cool, too. 

Well, except when it’s not.

Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast.

Having a Plan

Where today we’re going to offer your daughter a 3 Step Road Map to navigate the ups and downs of her media relationships so she can keep a strong sense of self and continue to design healthy social scenarios.

Because as parents, you know, it’s a rough ride for everyone when your daughter:

·         discovers her tribe has assembled without her 

·         or someone she’s reached out to is active but not responding

We obviously didn’t have these devices when you and I were teens.

Though, that deep gut punching feeling you get when you’ve been betrayed by someone in your tribe hasn’t changed.

And having the ability to manage all those big emotions doesn’t just magically happen.

So, let’s give your daughter a step-by-step plan so she can interact on her social platforms while maintaining a strong sense of self and designing healthy social scenarios.

Please take the time to share the 3 Step Road Map with your daughter, you'll be glad you did.

Find the 3 Steps and the full Show Notes on my website, cultivatingresilientteens.com

Podcast Resources:

Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?

Episode #18 2 Key Elements Your Daughter Needs to Design Healthy Social Scenarios

Quote from Oprah “You get in life what you have the courage to ask for.”

90 Days to a More Resilient Teen Coaching Program

Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!

Hey Parents,

Have you ever asked your daughter how she’s doing and heard something like … “it’s complicated” or “you won’t understand!”

As you’re working through the ‘letting go’ and ‘losing control’ part of raising a teenager (two of the toughest parts if you ask me), getting a non-answer when you’re trying to connect is tough because:

• it feels like it widens the divide
• and pulls heavily on your heartstrings

As a parent of teens, I get it.

Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast, it’s an honor to spend this time with you.

If you’re feeling like you haven’t quite found a solution to how to empower your daughter to build confidence, integrity and resilience for all of life’s adventures, this episode is for you.

And hopefully it’ll make it easier for you and your daughter to learn and grow together, too.

Signature System

After years of working with teens and their families, I think you’ll see that the 4 Steps to Cultivating a Resilient Teen:

• Developing a strong sense of self
• Creating meaningful educational experiences
• Designing healthy social scenarios
• Fostering a connective family life

Not only offer your daughter the tools she needs to step into her personal power, recognize when to lead and when to follow, and mitigate the negative effects of social media.

They also help you learn how to navigate these teen rites of passage.

If you’re not familiar with my signature system, the 4 Steps to Cultivating a Resilient Teen, you’ll find more information and the full show notes for this podcast on my website, cultivatingresilientteens.com.

What’s Happening

Okay, here’s the downlow on … “it’s complicated” or “you won’t understand.”

The likelihood that these statements are true, is pretty high.

It’s less about trying to drive you crazy or push you away, and more about your daughter feeling overwhelmed and confused herself.

And as a caring, resourceful and hardworking parent, you likely encourage your daughter to be a critical thinker in order to solve her problems.

Critical thinking is an essential life skill.

But sometimes relationships are messy, and miscommunications happen - and there’s not a clear answer or approach.

You may even see the wheels turning as your daughter attempts to figure out or fix her situation.

And recognize that she's caught in a negative thought loop, which, as you know, isn’t helpful.

If you’re not familiar with how negative thought loops influence your daughter’s mood and motivation, you may want to familiarize yourself with the top 6 thinking errors in Ep – 28 How to Break Free from Thinking Errors that Wreck Your Daughter’s Confidence.

It's a Dance

So here you are, trying to connect with and support your daughter, but you’re not sure whether to step in or step back – a bit of a dance.

Find out if a growth mindset will make life easier for your daughter, as well as, learn how to dance with agility and grace. Get the complete show notes on my website, Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast.

Podcast Resources

Life’s Random Bits | Parenting is Like Dancing | 9.7.2017

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success | Carol Dweck

5 Keys to the Right Mindset for Growth and Success | Bob Choat | 7.3.2015

Episode #2 How to Rais

Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!

Hey Parents,

Is your teenage daughter “freaking out” about what’s next?

You’re probably noticing that spring fever is in the air, which undoubtedly signals one thing - transitions are on the horizon. 

Whether it’s her transition into middle school, high school, college or beyond, you’re likely seeing any number of behavioral changes in your daughter.

Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens podcast, where you can always find the full Show Notes and resources for every podcast episode at cultivatingresilientteens.com

The Problem

Although we’re being kinda playful about your daughter “freaking out” about what’s next, we know you’ve been through some tough times, and that stress and anxiety are at an all-time high for teenagers.

According to Dr. Sarah McKay, Author of The Women’s’ Brain Book: The Neuroscience of Health, Hormones and Happiness, “We all respond to stress in a variety of ways, and whether an event is a ‘stressor’ varies from person to person.” And Dr. McKay goes on to say that “We feel stressed when real or imagined pressures exceed or perceived ability to cope.”

Everything You Need

So, today we’re offering a simple Formula that will boost your daughter’s resilience by giving her what she needs to make calm, logical and confident decisions about her future.

If you’ve been listening for a while, you’ve heard us lovingly nudge your daughter to devote some quality time to developing a strong sense of self.

Because, as parents, you know that a strong sense of self will likely:
- steer your daughter away from “iffy” or “risky” social situations
- help her avoid iceberg beliefsthat can sabotage relationship
- and help her create a path that promotes personal growth

Okay, now … let’s imagine for a minute, that your daughter wakes up every morning READY for whatever comes her way - would it be worth it?

Everyone wants to bounce back from life’s challenges and detours, and we bet your daughter feels that way, too.

And, if you’re familiar with the saying that “worrying is like a rocking chair: it will give you something to do but you won’t get you anywhere.”

Simple A-B-C Formula

You’ll see that the three critical actions in the A-B-C Formula enable your daughter make calm, logical and confident decisions about her future – truly, the best way for her to bounce back!

It’s easier than you may think so head over to my website, cultivatingresilientteens.com and get the three critical actions - and cultivate a more resilient teenager.

Podcast Resources: 

Dr. Sara McKay |The Women’s’ Brain Book: The Neuroscience of Health, Hormones and Happiness 

Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?

Ep – 28 How to Break Free from Thinking Errors that Wreck Your Daughter’s Confidence

Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!

Hey Parents, What’s your daughter most important asset?

Welcome back the Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast.

Today we’re diving in a little deeper to an issue we touched on in last week’s podcast, Ep – 28 How to Break Free from Thinking Errors that Wreck Your Daughter’s Confidence.

Because, interestingly, even though your daughter may think she’s the only feeling one insecure or being left out, I promise you that no one is immune to those tricky thought errors we talked about last week.

Thought Error #5

Especially Thought Error #5, using “labels” to classify herself or others, can really be detrimental to your daughter’s growth.

So, today we’re offering a bite-sized solution to protect your daughter’s most important asset – her sense of self.

As we’ve talked about in previous episodes, developing a strong sense of self is one of the most important ways to empower your teenage daughter to build confidence, integrity and resilience for all of her adventures in life.

Think About it This Way

Because when you think about it, every single thing she says and does – her attitude, her happiness, her motivation, her relationships, her success – all revolve around how your daughter:

• sees herself
• what she thinks about herself
• and how she talks TO and ABOUT herself

So, building a solid personal foundation, or a strong sense of self, will enable her to understand critical thought habits and patterns.  

4 Steps to Cultivating a Resilient Teen

And right now, your daughter’s life is primarily influenced by, what I refer to as, the 4 Steps to Cultivating a Resilient Teen:

• her sense of self
• how meaningful her educational experiences are
• the nature of your parent / daughter connection
• And her social network – the people she surrounds herself

So, if your daughter’s life experiences and the people she’s around are throwing around labels, to classify her, or others, it’s going to influence how she sees herself and talks to and about herself.

Due to the negative emotions “labeling” brings up, we’re focusing instead on how to equip your daughter with the GRIT and GUMPTION she needs to win this war-on-words.

The Heart of the Matter

So, let’s get to the heart of the matter with two thoughtful questions ...

Find the complete Show Notes on my website, https://cultivatingresilientteens.com/podcast/

Podcast Resources

Ep – 28 How to Break Free from Thinking Errors that Wreck Your Daughter’s Confidence

Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?

90 Minutes to Clarity and Strategies that Work

90 Days to a More Resilient Teen Coaching Program

Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!

Hey parents,

Is your teenage daughter a hard worker who gets frustrated and feels defeated when things don’t go her way?

If mind management sounds like some type of voo-doo, though you see your daughter repeating the same behaviors over and over, but expects a different result, this podcast is for her.

Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast where you can find the full show notes on my website, cultivatingresilientteens.com

Today’s episode is inspired by an incredibly ambitious, bright, and determined past client who knew exactly what she wanted.

But there was just one ‘key element’ missing.

And no matter how hard she tried, she continued to find herself back where she started.

But let’s not be too hard on her because the key element that kept her stuck isn’t a core competency you learn in school.  

And standardized testing dismisses it, too. 

However, this element definitely has an impact on your daughter’s performance.

So today we’re going to introduce the 6 most common thinking errors that may wreck your daughter’s confidence.

And, how to break free with 2 Strategies that work.

Let’s start with the 6 thinking errors the teenage girls in my private coaching practice say are the hardest to handle.

1.) Believing it’s always “All or Nothing”

All or nothing sounds like:

I’m never the one who gets picked to lead the project

2.) “Catastrophizing” her situations

Catastrophizing sounds like:

This is so stressful because if I don’t say the right thing, everyone’s going to think I’m weird

3.) “Shoulding” all over herself

Shoulding sounds like:

I should eat lunch with those girls because if I don’t, they’ll think I’m rude 

Get information about the additional thought errors that wreck your daughter's confidence and 2 Strategies that Work on my website Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast

Because if you take anything away from our conversation today, it’s that developing strong sense of self is one of the greatest gifts your daughter can give herself.

And developing a strong sense of self begins with observing your thinking habits and patterns and the effect they have on your behavior, choices, relationships and mood.

Podcast Resources: Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast

90 Days to a More Resilient Teen Coaching Program

Ep – 24 How to Help Your Teenage Daughter Develop What Really Matters

Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?

The Teenage Brain and COVID. Telling Stories Might Help | Dr. Sarah Mckay | March 25, 2021

Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!

Hey Parents,

Does your teenage daughter feel like she has to choose between being liked or being respected?

Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast where we’re going to offer a “Short, Sweet and Spot On” episode, as listener Me and Xoxo, shared in a recent iTunes podcast review.

Thank you, Me and Xoxo, for taking the time to share your thoughts and for being part of the Cultivating Resilient Teens community!

Okay, let’s get to it, because I want to clear up the myth that your daughter has to choose between being liked or respected.

One of my clients shared that a ‘Who are You?’ style check list has been going around social media.

The list had multiple boxes where you check off things you’ve done or that apply to you personally.

And although it didn’t seem like that big of a deal at first, my client not only felt like she was pigeon-holing herself into a misconstrued persona, but there was a whole lot of judgment coming out of this seemingly harmless activity.

My client understood that she had the choice to participate or pass, but she said the social pressure felt really intense. 

And one of her friends teased her by saying … “Just fill it out, I mean, what do you have to hide?

Ah, I’m here to tell you, these tricky social situations aren’t easy to navigate for teenage girls.

What You Can Do Instead

As we talked about in last week’s podcast Ep – 26 How to Support Your Daughter When Her Friendships Are Falling Apart

Your daughter’s style of communication matters:

• ·         how she talks to and about herself 
• ·         and how she talks to and about her friends

And, if your daughter’s put in a situation where she feels pressured to share personal information that that seems intrusive and downright uncomfortable, we want to equip her with the tools that’ll help her stay confident, in her integrity, and strengthen her resilience.

3 Insights to Ace Tricky Social Situations

In order to prevent or de-escalate the drama that comes from tricky social situations, we’re going to share 3 Insights that will help your daughter tap into her personal power.

Because even though the “What do you have to hide?” situation seemed playful, my client didn’t want to pigeonhole herself into a certain persona or share information she considered personal.

1.  Feeling liked and respected is an inside job.
2.  Learning to say what you mean and mean what you say in a clear, respectful and assertive manner will keep your daughter out of unnecessary drama.
3. Who your daughter wants to be, desires to become, and what she wants to share with the world is her choice, period. 

Yes, learning how to design healthy social scenarios is perhaps one of the most important rites-of-passage your daughter will encounter over the next few years.

So, equipping her with effective navigation skills are worth her time and effort. 

Full Show Notes and Podcast Resources can be found at, https://cultivatingresilientteens.com/

Ep – 26 How to Support Your Daughter When Her Friendships Are Falling Apart
How to Raise a Socially Intelligent and Resilient Teenager 5 Simple Questions That Will Set Your Teenager Up for Success

Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!

Hey Parents, is friendship drama causing major emotional distress for your teenage daughter?

Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens podcast where we’ve talked a lot about how teenage girls are passionate problem solvers. But, as you know, there’s another side to the coin. So, we’re going to bravely and compassionately explore what the other side looks and feels like because if your daughter feels emotionally wounded or is utterly confused and in tears by her friend’s behavior, we want to help you through this.

It’s not unusual for my clients to talk about increased friend drama this time of year, as Springtime seems to invite a sense of newness, adventure and increased opportunities to socialize outside of school and home. 

Key Resources

Tricky social situations often cause teenage girls to be really hard on themselves, so in podcast Episode #18 2 Key Elements Your Daughter Needs to Design Healthy Social Scenarioswe tackle a topic that’s sometimes overwhelming and painful for teenage girls – how to build authentic, fun and healthy friendships. 

Because as Dr. Christine Carter shares in her book, The New Adolescence: Raising Happy and Successful Teens in an Age of Anxiety and Distraction, “Connection is the most important predictor of happiness that we have. It’s the most consistent finding that we have in a hundred or so years of research. Our overall wellbeing is predicted by both the breadth and depth of our real-life connections.”

A Better Way

And, because it’s important for me to be transparent AND remind you that tough, humble situations can also offer deep personal opportunities to grow – when you’re ready – I want to share a quick story with you. Once upon a time I was asked to talk to a group of teens about the importance of creating a more cohesive group environment because, as Dr. Carter’s research shows, authentic connections help everyone thrive.  But I mistakenly assumed that because the coaches desired a more cohesive environment, the athletes did too.  Needless to say, it didn’t matter how well constructed my message was, there were two key ingredients missing: 1.    Readiness 2.    Trust 

So, before you guide your daughter through the tumultuous teen-girl-friendship-waters, pause and ask yourself ...

Find the FULL podcast Show Notes on my website cultivatingresilientteens.com and give your daughter the support she needs to navigate these rough waters.

Podcast Resources:Episode #18 2 Key Elements Your Daughter Needs to Design Healthy Social Scenarios Dr. Christine Carter shares in her book, The New Adolescence: Raising Happy and Successful Teens in an Age of Anxiety and Distraction Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?Quote:  “These times can define us, diminish us, or develop us.” | Jim Kwik | Author of Limitless: Upgrade Your Brain, Learn Anything Faster, and Unlock Your Exceptional Life | Founder and CEO of Kwik Learning Quote: Assertive communication  Book: Fighting Invisible Tigers: A Stress Management Guide for Teens | Author Earl Hipp 

Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!