Quaid In Full

We're back! And we're joined by John Ramos, JD (Juris Dennisor) for our discussion of 1987 legal thriller Suspect -- a formative Quaid property for John and SDB (and Jeb's mom?) that's greater than the sum of some awkward parts, including a martini served in a parfait glass; Quaid's character hailing from Wisconsin; a Schoolhouse Rock episode on lobbying; weird bald-cap choices by John Mahoney; and a Southern firehose of charm. How do you talk to an angel...or make out with an expensive candle? The rules of procedure state that you'll have to listen to find out. Overall score: 7 QQQ score: 8.33 SHOW NOTES Get EVEN MORE Qontent (...sorry) at our Patreon page (https://www.patreon.com/quaidinfull) Can YOU get past the first 27 seconds of The Dennissance (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-dennissance/id1503394153)? Roger Ebert's review (https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/suspect-1987) Desson Howe's WaPo review (https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/longterm/movies/videos/suspectrhowe_a0c89f.htm) Special Guest: John Ramos.

Both your co-hosts saw Innerspace about a squillion times as kids; does it hold up? Is director Joe Dante secretly a master? Why wasn't the film marketed as a thriller for tweens and teens? Where do '80s movies' ideas about nightclubs come from? And will this 1987 film about a nanoscopic test pilot journeying through Martin Short to greater maturity bring you the highest Quaidosity rating yet? ...Before we answer these questions, we'll finally confront less than half a minute of The Dennissance, so tell the band from Overboard to play "Hail To The Squeef" and settle in for S03E04 of Quaid In Full. Overall score: 8 QQQ score: 8.5 SHOW NOTES Get EVEN MORE Qontent (...sorry) at our Patreon page (https://www.patreon.com/quaidinfull) Can YOU get past the first 27 seconds of The Dennissance (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-dennissance/id1503394153)? Roger Ebert's review (https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/innerspace-1987) Janet Maslin's review (https://www.nytimes.com/1987/07/01/movies/film-innerspace-a-comic-fantasy.html) Hal Hinson's review (https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/longterm/movies/videos/innerspacepghinson_a0c948.htm)

The Big Easy: where dancing is a way of life, allegedly -- and so, alas, is Epcot-Cajun exposition, sexist condescension to "uptight" ladies, and an ambient horniness that doesn't quite translate here in 2020. But it's not all bad, because Ned Beatty wears a crawdad hat, Jim Garrison plays himself, and we did NOT get recreationally upset about a podcast not our own. You'll love this episode like a pig loves corn; listen now! ("Onh honh honh honh honnnnh." Overall score: 2.25 QQQ score: 7.75 SHOW NOTES Get EVEN MORE Qontent (...sorry) at our Patreon page (https://www.patreon.com/quaidinfull) If we're not going to hear The Dennissance (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-dennissance/id1503394153), one of y'all should Vincent Canby, laboring under the impression that TBE was intended as a comedy (https://www.nytimes.com/1987/08/21/movies/film-the-big-easy-comedy-about-police-case.html) Roger Ebert, also trying to have A Positive Day (https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/the-big-easy-1987) The Big Tee-Veasy (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0115111/)

Well, there's one excellent performance in Enemy Mine -- but it's not Dennis Quaid's, and it's not the script's. This clumsy Dennis Of Arabia In Space joint with the ending of A New Hope stapled onto the back sees DQ "overmatched in almost every way": lots of traipsing, LOTS of goo, a turgid voiceover, and...space-funeral processing. Grab a lint-anemone wig and have a listen! Overall score: 3.5 QQQ score: 2.5 SHOW NOTES Get EVEN MORE Qontent (...sorry) at our Patreon page (https://www.patreon.com/quaidinfull) If we're not going to hear The Dennissance (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-dennissance/id1503394153), one of y'all should Janet Maslin's review (https://www.nytimes.com/1985/12/20/movies/screen-enemy-mine.html)

QIF returns for what is probably the ur-Quaidiest season in the line-up, and we kick off the mid-to-late-'80s portion of Dennis Quaid's c.v. with Dreamscape, featuring a roguish semi-retired clairvoyant's journey into political dream disinformation. ...Look, it was the Reagan era; nightmares looked different back then. But is this thriller actually thrilling? Or are we too easily distracted by Val Kilmer vehicles of the same era; the melancholy death of Norm; "well meaning" special effects; and saxophones posing as character traits? Slap some 'trodes on your forehead; it's Quaid In Full's season premiere. Overall score: 6 QQQ score: 6 SHOW NOTES If we're not going to hear The Dennissance (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-dennissance/id1503394153), one of y'all should TV Guide's review (https://www.tvguide.com/movies/dreamscape/review/113554/) The Times review (https://www.nytimes.com/1984/08/15/movies/screen-dreamscape-a-comedy.html) Get EVEN MORE Qontent (...sorry) at our Patreon page (https://www.patreon.com/quaidinfull)

Bill manipulated us pretty effectively back in Episode 7 (https://quaidinfull.fireside.fm/16) of this season; how well did the sequel do? This superfluous -- and anticlimactically un-Quaidish -- follow-up relies a great deal on how much viewers enjoy mid-'80s Helen Hunt; the harmonica; the redemption of some guy named Doug; and investigating early inspirations for the This Is Us killer crockpot. Join us for hot zoning action as we wrap up QIF's second season. Overall score: 4.5 QQQ score: 2 SHOW NOTES Want to help defray the costs of the pod, like getting a print of that Baretta episode made? Throw a few bucks in the hat at QIF's GoFundMe page (https://t.co/MItcWMHOPU?amp=1)! If we're not going to hear The Dennissance (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-dennissance/id1503394153), one of y'all should People's review (https://people.com/archive/picks-and-pans-review-bill-on-his-own-vol-20-no-20/) The Times review (https://www.nytimes.com/1983/11/09/arts/tv-mickey-rooney-in-bill-sequel.html) "Giving Nat a little what-for (https://www.abramsbooks.com/product/very-special-90210-book_9781419747465/#)"

The Right Stuff launches our scoring into the stratosphere along with the Mercury 7, and our conversation orbits our late grandfathers, poppy-fields movies, witty takedowns of bureaucracy, Mrs. Grissom agonistes, flaming wienies, when critics willfully miss the point, and actors playing non-actors who are bad at acting. This is the best and the Quaidiest film we've contemplated yet, so supply your own helmets and have a listen. Overall score: 9 QQQ score: 9 SHOW NOTES Want to help defray the costs of the pod, like getting a print of that Baretta episode made? Throw a few bucks in the hat at QIF's GoFundMe page (https://t.co/MItcWMHOPU?amp=1)! If we're not going to hear The Dennissance (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-dennissance/id1503394153), one of y'all should Pauline Kael's review (https://scrapsfromtheloft.com/2020/07/05/the-right-stuff-review-pauline-kael/) of The Right Stuff Vanity Fair's oral history of TRS (https://www.wired.com/2014/11/oral-history-of-right-stuff/)

Finally, one you've heard of! ...Unfortunately. 1983's third sequel to the classic Jaws features a mother/baby murder team, shark science a third-grader could debunk, dubious canoodling, the Texan-est Red Sox fan in film history, and 17 different arts-and-crafts dorsal fins, each shittier than the last. Why is Dennis Quaid hurling a golf-cart driver to the ground? Why are we talking about Celebration, FL? Should we have watched the movie with 3D glasses? Send a kid out for some SeaCorn(tm) and settle in for the latest Quaid In Full. Overall score: 3 QQQ score: 4.75 SHOW NOTES Want to help defray the costs of the pod, like getting a print of that Baretta episode made? Throw a few bucks in the hat at QIF's GoFundMe page (https://t.co/MItcWMHOPU?amp=1)! If we're not going to hear The Dennissance (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-dennissance/id1503394153), one of y'all should All the crappy reviews of Jaws 3D in one place (https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/jaws_3/reviews) Watch "the Zardoz of the sea" for yourselves (https://play.hbomax.com/feature/urn:hbo:feature:GXYT0_QRID8IAIwEAAAQI)

No, not the Fabulous T-Birds song -- it's a 1983 cornpone Rocky featuring Dennis Quaid's cartoonishly bad boxing, not nearly enough Pam Grier, and the rare Warren Oates character we wanted to see more of. Why didn't we see the Battling Burger Chefs? Was the late Wilford Brimley even old enough to order a beer in this joint? Is this a Quaidy outing for our hero, or is that just gas? And why the hell did the studio dump this on the same weekend as Return Of The Jedi? Turn off that Manson Family Zoom reunion and find out. Overall score: 4.5 QQQ score: 4.5 SHOW NOTES Want to help defray the costs of the pod, like getting a print of that Baretta episode made? Throw a few bucks in the hat at QIF's GoFundMe page (https://t.co/MItcWMHOPU?amp=1)! If we're not going to hear The Dennissance (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-dennissance/id1503394153), one of y'all should Watch Tough Enough for yourselves (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OyBGDFCDJI)

Peevish social-services pinko John-Boy Walton befriends a young Deaf woman in Ruraltania...but doesn't fall in love with her until she's home-invaded by her rapist, Dennis Quaid, whose biological clock gets his head blown off. This was a TV movie, you guys. We couldn't find any contemporary reviews of it; we kept calling it Hannah Montana and Johnny Dangerously; we have a lot of questions about WHEN the movie thinks it is...but we weren't bored! Shove your other commitments off a railroad trestle, kick back with an L.A. Beer, and have a listen. Overall score: 6 QQQ score: 4.75 SHOW NOTES Want to help defray the costs of the pod, like getting a print of that Baretta episode made? Throw a few bucks in the hat at QIF's GoFundMe page (https://t.co/MItcWMHOPU?amp=1)! If we're not going to hear The Dennissance (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-dennissance/id1503394153), one of y'all should Watch Jackie Daytona -- er, Johnny Belinda for yourselves (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZoa0xMCDgg)

The 1981 TV movie that netted Mickey Rooney an Emmy AND a Globe, Bill is a lot better than we expected: not too much Afterschool Special speechifying about mainstreaming (the movie), and not too much cringing (us). But it's not perfect -- character development occurs in an evening, and is denoted by The Shawl-Collar Sweater Of Adulthood -- and we struggled to rate the Quaidiferousness of a film that had Dennis Quaid in every scene, doing decent work...but miscast. Failing to listen to the Dennissance, grumbling about the cop-wife trope, and fantasy-costuming the Chippenquaids are just a few of the toupees we perched on this episode, so listen now. Overall score: 6.25 QQQ score: 5 SHOW NOTES Want to help defray the costs of the pod, like getting a print of that Baretta episode made? Throw a few bucks in the hat at QIF's GoFundMe page (https://t.co/MItcWMHOPU?amp=1)! If we're not going to hear The Dennissance (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-dennissance/id1503394153), one of y'all should Bill and the sequel on DVD (https://www.amazon.com/Bill-His-Own-Mickey-Rooney/dp/B00NXUKAOU/ref=tmm_dvd_title_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=) The FB page for a documentary about the RL Bill Sackter (https://www.facebook.com/BillSackter/posts/you-can-now-see-the-full-length-television-movie-bill-1981-starring-mickey-roone/10150494402779945/)

Or, "Wait, What?" ...Dennis Quaid is allegedly in Stripes, for like three seconds, because at the time he was married to the main character's love interest, but we didn't see him, and we had a pretty hard time seeing why this was a foundational comedy-head go-to movie back in the day. Well, one of us did, because insufferable Bill Murray shtick was not adequately offset by sightings of breasts. Is this the oldest-looking 29 in film? Does John Larroquette bail out his scenes? Can we get a moratorium on jokes about sex with cows? Throw Sean Young's career in the back of a Miata and find out. Overall score: 2.5 QQQ score: 0.05 SHOW NOTES Want to help defray the costs of the pod, like getting a print of that Baretta episode made? Throw a few bucks in the hat at QIF's GoFundMe page (https://t.co/MItcWMHOPU?amp=1)! Watch the Stripes extended cut (https://www.amazon.com/Stripes-Extended-Cut-Bill-Murray/dp/B075LP553J/ref=sr_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=stripes&qid=1596118250&sr=8-3) Ebert's review (https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/stripes-1981) Gary Arnold's for WaPo (https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/lifestyle/1981/06/26/low-ranking-stripes/11e93bee-f267-45fe-80b1-8dc0e7361afa/)

No, it doesn't really have anything to do with the song -- but there's a LOT of singing, and when Dennis Quaid's doing it, it's not half bad! When Kristy McNichol's doing it, it's...a LOT of singing! There's also a lot of feathered hair, inappropriate sibling interaction, and day-drinking in this interminable tale of a brother and sister trying (to varying degrees) to make it in country music with the dubious help of Luke Skywalker. Cameos by Barry Corbin, Errol Morris, Felipe Alou, Dennis Quaid's ass, and SDB's dog, who is also an ass. Sack out in the pickup bed and find out how Quaid-ish The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia is! Overall score: 2.5 QQQ score: 5.5 SHOW NOTES Want to help defray the costs of the pod, like getting a print of that Baretta episode made? Throw a few bucks in the hat at QIF's GoFundMe page (https://t.co/MItcWMHOPU?amp=1)! Brian Kerwin thinks the movie's good (http://www.anothertakeonfilm.com/node/7) TV Guide, correctly, does not (https://www.tvguide.com/movies/night-lights-went/107557/)

Is Caveman as bad as you've heard? Well, aside from Shelley Long, and a bit of business with the world's first fried egg...yes. Yes, it is. Ringo Starr's prehistoric journey to love features the invention of fire, mildewy dinosaur costumes, "Thus Spake Faux-rathustra," and a light dusting of that heap o' cocaine from the pitch meeting. Dennis Quaid's energetically Cats approach to the blocking is admirable...but how Quaid-y is this? Overall score: 1.75 QQQ score: 2.5 SHOW NOTES Want to help defray the costs of the pod, like getting a print of that Baretta episode made? Throw a few bucks in the hat at QIF's GoFundMe page (https://t.co/MItcWMHOPU?amp=1)! Watch Caveman (https://www.justwatch.com/us/movie/caveman) for yourselves Roger Ebert's review (https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/caveman-1981) Janet Maslin's review (https://www.nytimes.com/1981/04/17/movies/caveman-with-ringo-starr.html)

Rewrites for Barbra Streisand + Gene Hackman and Dennis Quaid forming the hypotenuse of a father-son love triangle + weirdly loud shoes + DQ doing a Grape Ape imitation = All Night Long, a strangely static sex farce that somehow inspired us to compare it to Malick AND Pakula. It also led to a Buntsy rant on why KITT even has regular pursuit mode if Michael's never going to use it, but...what doesn't. Overall score: 2.25 QQQ score: 3.5 SHOW NOTES Want to help defray the costs of the pod, like getting a print of that Baretta episode made? Throw a few bucks in the hat at QIF's GoFundMe page (https://t.co/MItcWMHOPU?amp=1)! Roger Ebert's review (https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/all-night-long) Mitch at Video Vacuum (https://thevideovacuum.livejournal.com/1215460.html) understands our pain

Declare your independence from competent directing with 1980's G.O.R.P, an interminable Wet Hot Animal House Meatballs farce that confused Jeb and angered Sarah. Can a movie with a fairly clever Dracula runner, Altman-esque montages, and Dennis Quaid's naked bum really be that bad? Sign our Justice For Sally Kellerman Characters petition and find out! Overall score: 2 QQQ score: 2.5 SHOW NOTES Want to help defray the costs of the pod, like getting a print of that Baretta episode made? Throw a few bucks in the hat at QIF's GoFundMe page (https://t.co/MItcWMHOPU?amp=1)! G.O.R.P. on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/G-R-P-Michael-Lembeck/dp/B009511T0K/ref=sr_1_1), God help you The Creative Loafing review (https://clclt.com/charlotte/black-mass-trumbo-vincent-price-set-among-new-home-entertainment-titles/Content?oid=3726514) Peter Howell, "[Animal House](https://www.thestar.com/entertainment/movies/2013/07/12/animalhousethemoviethatchangedcomedy.html): The Movie That Changed Comedy"

QIF finally returns with a new co-host, Jeb Lund, and a look at The Long Riders, Walter Hill's 1980 take on 19th-century bandits the Cole-Younger gang -- most noteworthy for the stunt-casting of real-life sets of brothers as various related parties, including the Carradines, Keaches, Guests...and Quaids. How Quaidy is this property, even with a lingering top note of Randy? What's with casting James Remar as a cartoonish Native American -- and the leveraging of the-South-will-rise-again pathos for relatability? And will we listen to DQ's Dennissance podcast? Saddle up: it's Season 2 of Quaid In Full. Overall score: 3 QQQ score: 2.75 SHOW NOTES Want to help defray the costs of the pod, like getting a print of that Baretta episode made? Throw a few bucks in the hat at QIF's GoFundMe page (https://t.co/MItcWMHOPU?amp=1)! _The Long Riders on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/B086RFDYJF/ref=atv_dl_rdr?autoplay=1) The Variety review (https://variety.com/1979/film/reviews/the-long-riders-1200424606/) The TV Guide review (https://www.tvguide.com/movies/long-riders/review/104596/)

QIF's first season comes to a close with the first truly Quaidy property on the man's c.v. -- 1979's Breaking Away, a minor classic I had trouble reviewing, because I've seen it so many times, it's like a family member. Old friends, new beginnings, the correct pronunciation of "REFUND?!", and the M and LVPs of Season 1 in an all-new Quaid In Full. Fill an ashtray with cat food and have a listen! SHOW NOTES Want to help defray the costs of the pod, like getting a print of that Baretta episode made? Throw a few bucks in the hat at QIF's GoFundMe page (https://t.co/MItcWMHOPU?amp=1)! Breaking Away on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/B008GOG98Y/ref=atv_dl_rdr?autoplay=1) The IMDb plot summaries (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078902/plotsummary?ref_=tt_ql_stry_2) Ebert's (https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/breaking-away-1979) Janet Maslin's review (https://www.nytimes.com/1979/07/18/archives/film-breaking-away-a-classic-sleeperback-home-in-indiana.html)

It's another TV movie as we enter the homestretch of QIF's first season: Amateur Night At The Dixie Bar And Grill, a surprisingly watchable Nashville knockoff starring not just Dennis Quaid but Don Johnson, Pinky Tuscadero, Isaiah Edwards from Little House, and...Kyle Richards? Come for Tanya Tucker's debut, stay for the Quaid tunesmithery in Episode 8. SHOW NOTES Want to help defray the costs of the pod, like getting a print of that Baretta episode made? Throw a few bucks in the hat at QIF's GoFundMe page (https://t.co/MItcWMHOPU?amp=1)! Watch Amateur Night (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWgaw5LCeJ4) The movie's IMDb page (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078762/) The Scopophilia review (https://scopophiliamovieblog.com/2017/04/24/amateur-night-at-the-dixie-bar-and-grill-1979/) The Schumacast (https://schumacast.blogspot.com/) does for Joel Schumacherwhat I do for Dennis Quaid That time I talked about Don Johnson's vanity single on MASTAS (https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/mark-and-sarah-talk-about-songs/e/55608450)

A uninteresting and deeply problematic TV movie with a horror-movie shell and an Afterschool Special center, Are You In The House Alone? introduces me to the concept of the Un-Quaidy Valley -- and introduces the rest of the world to David Keith. Schoolyard doowop, a brawl in an art-supplies closet, a visit to the Oversight Committee on the occasion of Mr. Quaid's engagement, and more! SHOW NOTES Want to help defray the costs of the pod, like getting a print of that Baretta episode made? Throw a few bucks in the hat at QIF's GoFundMe page (https://t.co/MItcWMHOPU?amp=1)! Watch Are You In The House Alone? (https://www.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/B009OVB0RI/ref=atv_dl_rdr?autoplay=1) Reviews (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077174/externalreviews?ref_=tt_ql_op_5)