Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris

We all know that change is inevitable and impermanence is non-negotiable. But somehow it can feel surprising, maybe even wrong, when we personally hit turbulence. The Buddha had a lot to say about this, and so does our guest. 

Kaira Jewel Lingo is a Dharma teacher who has a lifelong interest in blending spirituality and meditation with social justice. Having grown up in an ecumenical Christian community where families practiced a new kind of monasticism and worked with the poor, at the age of twenty-five she entered a Buddhist monastery in the Plum Village tradition and spent fifteen years living as a nun under the guidance of Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh. She received Lamp Transmission from Thich Nhat Hanh and became a Zen teacher in 2007, and is also a teacher in the Vipassana Insight lineage through Spirit Rock Meditation Center. Today she sees her work as a continuation of the Engaged Buddhism developed by Thich Nhat Hanh as well as the work of her parents, inspired by their stories and her dad’s work with Martin Luther King Jr. on desegregating the South. 

In addition to writing We Were Made for These Times: Skilfully Moving through Change, Loss and Disruption, she is also the editor of Thich Nhat Hanh’s Planting Seeds: Practicing Mindfulness with Children. Now based in New York, she teaches and leads retreats internationally, provides spiritual mentoring, and interweaves art, play, nature, racial and earth justice, and embodied mindfulness practice in her teaching. She especially feels called to share the Dharma with Black, Indigenous, and People of Color, as well as activists, educators, youth, artists, and families. Her newest book, co-written with Marisela B. Gomez and Valerie Brown, is  Healing Our Way Home: Black Buddhist Teachings on Ancestors, Joy, and Liberation.

In this episode we talk about:

• waking up to what’s happening right now
• trusting the unknown (easier said than done) 
• A Buddhist list called the five remembrances 
• how gratitude helps us in times of disruption
• And accepting what is (and why this is different from resignation or passivity)

Please note: There are brief mentions of domestic violence, abuse, the suffering of refugees, and war in this episode.

Related Episodes:

3 Buddhist Strategies for When the News is Overwhelming | Kaira Jewel Lingo

How to Keep Your Relationships On the Rails | Kaira Jewel Lingo

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Cognitive scientist Maya Shankar talks about how to get comfortable with uncertainty in an ever-changing world. 

It seems like a design flaw in our species that we live in a world of constant change yet most of us are not comfortable with uncertainty. 

In this episode, we talk to Maya Shankar about how to get better at dealing with change and to stop seeking what scientists call “cognitive closure.”

Shankar is a former Senior Advisor in the Obama White House, where she founded and served as Chair of the White House Behavioral Science Team. She also served as the first Behavioral Science Advisor to the United Nations, and is currently a Senior Director of Behavioral Economics at Google. She is the host of the Pushkin Industries podcast A Slight Change of Plans, which was named Best Show of the Year in 2021 by Apple. 

In this episode we talk about: 

• Why humans are so uncomfortable with uncertainty and change
• What a behavioral scientist actually does in the world
• Why even the host of a podcast about change isn’t immune to the uncertainties of life 
• The benefits of cultivating a more malleable sense of self
• Why humans are such bad forecasters
• The importance of auditing yourself when you’re undergoing a big change
• How to take advantage of big reset moments
• The concept of cognitive closure and why encouraging an open mind can make us more resilient  

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/maya-shankar-466

Where to find Maya Shankar online: 

Website: mayashankar.com

Social Media:

• Twitter 
• Facebook
• Instagram

Books Mentioned:

• The Language Instinct: How the Mind Creates Language 
• Nudge: Improving Decisions about Health, Wealth, and Happiness
• Stumbling on Happiness

Additional Resources:

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This is the first time you’ve ever been here, now. Pascal invites you to discover the vivid and mysterious experience of this new moment.

About Pascal Auclair:

Pascal Auclair has been immersed in Buddhist practice and study since 1997, sitting retreats in Asia and America with revered monastics and lay teachers. He has been mentored by Joseph Goldstein and Jack Kornfield at the Insight Meditation Society (IMS) in Massachusetts and Spirit Rock Meditation Center in California, where he is now enjoying teaching retreats. Pascal teaches in North America and in Europe. He is a co-founder of True North Insight and one of TNI’s Guiding Teachers.

To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “Rediscover the Familiar.”

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Cultivating resilience in the face of whatever comes up.

Ethan Nichtern is the author of Confidence: Holding Your Seat through Life’s Eight Worldly Winds and several other titles, including the widely acclaimed The Road Home: A Contemporary Exploration of the Buddhist Path. A renowned contemporary Buddhist teacher and the host of The Road Home Podcast, Nichtern has offered meditation and Buddhist psychology classes at conferences, meditation centers, yoga studios, and universities, including Brown, Yale, and NYU. He has been featured by CNN, NPR, the New York Times, Vogue, and Business Insider and has written for the Huffington Post, Beliefnet, Lion’s Roar, Tricycle, Buddhadharma, and more. He lives in Brooklyn. Visit him online at http://www.EthanNichtern.com.

In this episode we talk about:

• Authentic vs performative confidence
• The line between humility and confidence
• A Buddhist list called the Eight Worldly Winds
• A slew of little practices you can do in order to boost your confidence (or resilience or equanimity)
• The meaning of self-confidence in a tradition that argues the self is an illusion

Related Episodes:

• A Buddhist Approach to Money Worries | Ethan Nichtern
• The Dharma of the Princess Bride | Ethan Nichtern
• How To Get Ahead At Work, Buddhist-Style | David Nichtern
• #574. Do You Feel Like an Imposter? | Dr. Valerie Young (Co-Interviewed by Dan's Wife, Bianca!)

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Smart and practical strategies for living, in Maria's words, wonder-smitten by reality.

Maria Popova thinks and writes about our search for meaning — sometimes through science and philosophy, sometimes through poetry and children's books, always through the lens of wonder. She is the creator of The Marginalian (born in 2006 under the name Brain Pickings), which is included in the Library of Congress permanent digital archive of culturally valuable materials, author of Figuring, and maker of the live show The Universe in Verse — a charitable celebration of the wonder of reality through stories of science winged with poetry, which is now also a book.

In this episode we talk about:

• Wonder as a tool for improving all of your relationships
• The tyranny of the word should
• How the hardest thing in life is not getting what you want, it's knowing what you want
• Why she doesn't believe in making meditation a tool, even though she's been practicing for 14 years
• The illusion of certainty
• The immense value of intellectual humility
• Strategies for outgrowing your old habits
• Her new book, The Universe in Verse, which is a combination of science and poetry

From The Marginalian: How to Love the World More: George Saunders on the Courage of Uncertainty

Related Episodes:

• Bill Hader on Anxiety, Imposter Syndrome, and Leaning Intro Discomfort
• The Science Of Getting Out Of Your Head | Annie Murphy Paul
• George Saunders on: “Holy Befuddlement” and How to Be Less of a “Turd”
• The Profound Upside of Self-Diminishment | George Saunders
• A Radical Approach to Productivity, Self-Compassion Series | Jocelyn K. Glei

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A busy city is an ideal place to cultivate loving-kindness and powerfully connect to those around you while you’re out & about.

About Jay Michaelson:

Jay Michaelson is a writer & journalist, rabbi & meditation teacher, keynote speaker, and scholar of religion. Jay is the author of ten books, most recently The Secret That Is Not A Secret: Ten Heretical Tales. His 2022 book, The Heresy of Jacob Frank: From Jewish Messianism to Esoteric Myth, won the National Jewish Book Award for scholarship. He holds a JD from Yale, a PhD in Jewish Thought from Hebrew University, and nondenominational rabbinic ordination.

To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “Loving-Kindness in the City.”

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There’s a great podcast we want to introduce you to today, hosted by our friend Rachel Martin at NPR. It’s her new show, called Wild Card, which she describes as “part-interview, part-existential game show.” It’s a different way of approaching a celebrity interview, with a special deck of cards that helps shape the conversation. It’s a really fun show, and she talks to some really big names, including David Lynch, LeVar Burton, Issa Rae, and US Poet Laureate Ada Limon. 

Rachel was also a guest on this very podcast recently, and we had a great conversation and even played a little bit of the card game, so go back in your podcast feed and check that out. You can also listen to it here. 

The Wild Card episode we’re sharing with you today features Taylor Tomlinson, who has found the kind of success many comedians dream about, with multiple Netflix specials and a late-night hosting gig — After Midnight on CBS. She tells Rachel that part of the secret to her success is fear. They also swap stories about their Christian upbringings, the search for validation and getting things stuck up their noses.

So enjoy this episode, and check out Wild Card wherever you find your podcasts. 

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The radio stalwart addresses life’s biggest questions.

Rachel Martin is the co-creator and host of the podcast Wild Card, an interview game show about life's biggest questions. She invites notable guests to play a card game that lets them open up about the memories, insights, and beliefs that have shaped their lives.

Martin spent six years as a host of Morning Edition, and was the founding host of NPR's award-winning morning news podcast Up First. She previously hosted Weekend Edition Sunday. She served as National Security Correspondent for NPR, where she covered both defense and intelligence issues, and also worked as a NPR foreign correspondent. Martin also previously served as NPR's religion correspondent. 

In this episode we talk about:

• How to survive the news
• How to make a huge career pivot
• What it’s like to become an orphan as an adult
• Insomnia and meditation
• How to decide what matters in your life
• We play the game Wild Card!
• We talk about how good we are at being wrong
• And lastly, something light… mortality and the infinite universe.

Related Episodes:

3 Buddhist Strategies for When the News is Overwhelming | Kaira Jewel Lingo

How To Find Meaningful Work in a Rapidly Changing World | Bruce Feiler

Why We Panic: A Journalist Investigates Anxiety, Fear, and How To Deal With It | Matt Gutman

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Lessons learned from the psychiatric hospital

We’ve got a fascinating and very personal discussion today about the often very painful gap between the way you feel on the inside and the way the world perceives you. We also cover the urgency and difficulty of sitting with your own discomfort. 

Anna Marie Tendler is an artist and writer. She is also the author of a new memoir called ‘Men Have Called Her Crazy’. 

In this episode we talk about:

• The circumstances of her checking into a psychiatric hospital in 2021
• The difference between our interior emotions and our exterior selves
• The help she found through Dialectical Behavior Therapy – DBT
• We dive into a very specific theme of the book – and its title – the insidious ways in which men have impacted her life. 
• And lastly, how she found a way to sit with discomfort and pain, while showing up in the world authentically to herself.

Related Episodes:

#510. Me, a Love Story: How Being OK With Yourself Makes You Better at Everything | Sharon Salzberg

The Science Of Speaking Up For Yourself | Elaine Lin Hering (Co-interviewed by Dan's wife Bianca!)

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Dan dweebs out with a dad rock icon.

Jeff Tweedy is the lead singer and songwriter of the Grammy award winning rock band, Wilco. The band have put out 13 albums… and shortly after this interview was conducted, the band put out a new EP. Jeff has released two solo albums and has written three books, including his latest, which is called World Within A Song: Music That Changed My Life And Life That Changed My Music.

This interview is part of an occasional series we do called Boldface, where we talk to well known people who are willing to go there. We’ve already dropped two Boldface episodes this week: the rapper and author Common and the actress, activist and author Goldie Hawn.

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Full Shownotes: https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/jeff-tweedy-813

Additional Resources:

• Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

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This multi-hyphenate opens up about his four pillars of health and success

Common is an Oscar, Golden Globe, Emmy, and Grammy Award–winning music artist. He is an actor and producer, and has appeared in numerous critically acclaimed films, as well as hit TV series. He is the author of One Day It’ll All Make Sense and Let Love Have the Last Word, which were both New York Times bestsellers. He was raised in Chicago and currently resides in Brooklyn.

In this episode we talk about:

• Common’s relationship with self esteem growing up, and where he eventually found his own self worth.
• What it’s like dealing with rejection as an artist
• His book ‘And Then We Rise’
• The four different wellness pillars in his book; food, the body, the mind, and the soul
• The positive impact that therapy has had on his life
• What his meditation practice looks like
• The evolution of vulnerability in hip hop
• The evolution of vulnerability in his life
• And his relationship with spirituality

Related Episodes:

Rewire How You Talk To Yourself | Ofosu Jones-Quartey

#597. Mike D On: The Value of Failure, the Addictive Power of Adrenaline, and How a Beastie Boy Got Into Lovingkindness

#311 Karamo: How To Actually Do Self-Love

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Don’t be fooled by the bubbly public persona.

Goldie Hawn is an Academy Award winning actress, producer, director, and best-selling author. She’s written two best-selling books, a memoir called A Lotus Grows in the Mud and then, more recently, 10 Mindful Minutes, which is for kids and parents. She is also the Founder of MindUP, a charity that equips children with mental fitness.

In this episode we talk about:

• How she got interested in meditation — a story that, like Dan’s, involves panic attacks
• The power of curiosity 
• What she means when she talks about God
• What it means to take a “brain break”
• Why jealousy has never really been part of her repertoire
• And how to make a romantic relationship last.

Related Episodes:

How To Live A Happier Life | The Dalai Lama & Dr. Richard Davidson

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Our inner critics are sticky and painful. Practice radical kindness and self-compassion to reprogram harmful self-talk habits.

About La Sarmiento:

La Sarmiento (they/them) is a mentor for the MIndfulness Meditation Teacher Certification Program (MMTCP) and a teacher with Banyan. They have taught meditation retreats for BIPOC, LGBTQIA+, Teens, and Young Adults, and everyone in-between around the United States since 2010 and are a 2012 graduate of the Spirit Rock Community Dharma Leader Training. 

To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “When Your Inner Critic Is Unrelenting.”

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A personal program for working with election-induced anxiety.

We’re dropping a special/experimental pod today, because we know a lot of you are freaking out about the election — so Dan’s going to talk through some strategies he is personally using to keep it together during this turbulent time. 

Additional Resources: 

Podcast episode with Bill Doherty (Braver Angels)

Feedback form: let us know what you think!

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Cara Lai has worked as an artist, wilderness guide, social worker, and therapist before becoming a full time meditation teacher. She teaches teens and adults at Spirit Rock, Insight Meditation Society, and Ten Percent Happier.

To find out more about what Cara does, you can go to her website, www.caralai.org – where she’s got some online meditation classes, including one called Meditate Your Face Off. She also has a monthly class for parents, co-led by Ofosu Jones-Quartey and Jess Morey, both of whom have been heard on this podcast.

Speaking of podcasts, Cara also co-hosts a podcast called Adventures in Meditating (For Parents), along with Jess Morey and Jon Roberts.

Cara will also be a core teacher for a 14-week residential semester program for youth ages 18-32 this Fall in Marlboro VT. The program is called the Contemplative Semester, and there are many folks who will be teaching who have been in the TPH orbit, including Joseph Goldstein, Sharon Salzberg, Jessica Morey, Kaira Jewel Lingo, and more. You can find more info at www.contemplativesemester.org

Related Episodes:

The Upside of Desire | Cara Lai 

Can You Get Fit Without Self-Loathing? | Cara Lai 

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A Harvard professor on how to elevate everyday activities in order to lift your mood, improve your relationships and rise to new challenges.

Michael Norton is the Harold M. Brierley Professor of Business Administration at the Harvard Business School. He has studied human behavior as it relates to love and inequality, time and money, and happiness and grief. He is the author of The Ritual Effect: From Habit to Ritual, Harness the Surprising Power of Everyday Actions. 

In this episode we talk about: 

• The difference between habits and rituals
• How rituals impact various spheres of life, including creativity, grief and politics - and how not all rituals are beneficial 
• how to transform your everyday activities into rituals and how they can inject meaning into your life and give a boost to your relationships
• How to introduce rituals into your workplace without falling back on cliché (like trust falls)

Related Episodes:

What Science Says About Money and Happiness | Elizabeth Dunn — Ten Percent Happier 

How to Benefit From Religion, Even as a Nonbeliever | David DeSteno — Ten Percent Happier

How to Change Your Habits | Katy Milkman — Ten Percent Happier   

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When you’re spiraling with intense emotions, here’s a practice to help pick you up off the bathroom floor. 

About Sebene Selassie:

Growing up, Sebene felt like a big weirdo. Born in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia and raised in white neighborhoods in Washington, D.C., she was a tomboy Black girl who loved Monty Python and UB40. She never believed she belonged. Thirty years ago, she began studying Buddhism as an undergraduate at McGill University where she majored in Comparative Religious Studies. Now, Sebene is a teacher, author, and speaker who teaches that meditation can help us remember our inherent sense of belonging, that our individual freedom affects absolutely everyone and everything, and that our collective freedom depends on each and every one of us. Sebene is a three-time cancer survivor of Stage III and IV cancer.

To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “Meltdown.”

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The two practices that helped turn this self described scowling, sarcastic skeptic into an expert meditator

Since 1999, Devin Berry has been a dedicated meditation practitioner, his practice is deeply rooted in the metta and vipassana teachings of the Insight Meditation tradition. He spent nearly five years in silent, intensive retreats, cultivating his practice and understanding. Devin is deeply committed to the personal and collective liberation of marginalized communities, believing that integrating reflection and insight leads to clarity and wisdom, which in turn fosters wise action.

Devin is a dharma teacher at Spirit Rock and the Insight Meditation Society (IMS), where he serves as a guiding teacher. He also shares his teachings through Sounds True and at various sanghas and centers across the country.

In this episode we talk about:

• Why mindfulness alone is not enough
• How metta is part of four related mental skills, called the brahma viharas—and how to practice those
• The story of how and why the Buddha invented the Metta practice.
• The role and practice of Dana – generosity.
• Devin’s year long Metta/Dana experiment 
• And lastly, how these practices can help us on and off the cushion

Related Episodes:

Sharon Salzberg Takes on the Cliches: Authenticity, Love, and Being Your Own BFF

Mike D On: The Value of Failure, the Addictive Power of Adrenaline, and How a Beastie Boy Got Into Lovingkindness

Everything You Wanted To Know About Meditation Retreats But Were Afraid To Ask | Spring Washam (And Dan’s Close Friend, Zev Borow)

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Our guest today is James R. Doty, a neurosurgeon who has just written a whole book about the science of manifestation – although, as you’ll hear him admit, there’s very little ‘magic’ involved in his process. 

James R. Doty, M.D. is a Stanford neurosurgeon, neuroscientist, compassion researcher, inventor, entrepreneur, author and philanthropist. He’s the founder and director of the Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education (CCARE) at Stanford University. 

In this episode we talk about:

• Doty’s six steps to manifest
• His very interesting backstory
• The art and science of intention setting and the role of our neural pathways.
• How caring can ignite our Parasympathetic nervous system, which in turn can help us manifest better
• Practical tips for embedding an intention into our subconscious.
• The keys to understanding what we want vs. what we need
• And how to ‘alert the bloodhound’ to harness the full power of your mind

Related Episodes:

• #388. The Science of Training Your Attention | Dr. Amishi Jha
• The Art and Science of Compassion: Thupten Jinpa
• #425. Compassion Is the Ultimate Tool for the Truly Ambitious | Paul Gilbert

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Watching things come and go helps weaken obsessive cravings both in meditation and in our lives.

About Joseph Goldstein:

Joseph is one of the most respected meditation teachers in the world -- a key architect of the rise of mindfulness in our modern society -- with a sense of humor to boot. In the 1970's, he co-founded the Insight Meditation Society (IMS) alongside Sharon Salzberg and Jack Kornfield. Since its founding, thousands of people from around the world have come to IMS to learn mindfulness from leaders in the field. Joseph has been a teacher there since its founding and continues as the resident guiding teacher.

To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “Going Deeper: Seeing Change.”

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