You're No Fun Anymore

It’s time to turn the Thanksgiving tables on the colonizers, practice your tango, and think about Debbie’s needs as we get all together ooky with Barry Sonnenfeld’s Addams Family Values (1993). Should we give the incomparable Joan Cusack most of the credit for making this sequel better than the original? Or does it go to the incredibly precocious Christina Ricci, who might be the best child star of her generation? Are Angelica Huston and Raul Julia the ultimate relationship goals on-screen couple? And is Uncle Fester’s O face in this movie even creepier than Dan Ackroyd’s in Ghostbusters? All we know it that we want to find the kind of loving acceptance the Addams Family bestows so easily. 

Reach for your 80s hair goals and get that voodoo doll ready as we embrace our dream of joining an all-powerful coven in The Witches of Eastwick (1987, yet again). Who had more fun playing the devil, Jack Nicholson or Al Pacino? (And yes, we will cover The Devil’s Advocate soon, don’t you worry.) Is this film feminist or not? Should Helen let go of her grudge against Susan Sarandon, after nearly being run down by her on a scooter? Does Veronica Cartwright deserve an Oscar for her incredibly unhinged performance? We’re too busy enjoying our gorgeous mansion and giant butler to worry about the contractual details. 

Fluff up your hair, grease up your closest saxophone player and run away with Jason Patric and Kiefer Sutherland in The Lost Boys (1987). How do you tell someone you’re 40 without saying you’re 40? Is this the horniest vampire movie ever made? And if so, why did they cast such a baby-faced Corey Haim? And why is Corey Feldman doing a Rambo voice? We’d tell you if we weren’t succumbing to peer pressure to become a creature of the night. 

Sharpen your fangs and get horny cuz it’s time to sink our teeth into 1994’s Interview with the Vampire. Is the blood-drinking SFX in this film a little too “juicy”. Would it have been better if it just embraced its gay side? (Obviously yes.) Does its over-the-top cheesy goth angst make it that much more enjoyable? (We’re split on that.) And is Kirsten Dunst carrying this movie on her tiny little shoulders? We’ll get back to you after we seductively pass our hands through this candle flame. 

YNFA is kicking off a month of our favorite pop culture vampires! We're down a few podcast hosts for this one, but up a lot of fan-girling with a very special episode about the GOAT of vampire television show, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Randall, Bryce and Dayna take a long trip down the hellmouth to revisit some of their favorite episodes from both the WB and CW years, and ask some important questions along the way. Is the Xander factor just too much for a show to overcome in 2022? Why was Alyson Hannigan so good at crying? Why is it always up to the teenage girl to help old British dudes save the world? And to quote Sarah Michelle Gellar: Is it okay to love Buffy even if we no longer love the man who created her? Put on your best leather duster, throw some stakes in your pocket and pull out your best Buffy-speak for this one.

There are no cats in America! Except for like a dozen who can be easily pushed off a pier. But there are definitely no dogs! At least that’s what we know from Don Bluth’s An American Tail. Is this the biggest bummer of a kids’ movie ever made? Does anyone remember any details about it beyond crying over Somewhere Out There? How in the world does Fievel survive so many near-death experiences? And can you freaking believe they got Christopher Plummer to play a French pigeon?? One thing we do know is that learned a lot of actual historical facts about 19th-century New York during this viewing. 

Happy Birthday to us! To celebrate, get strapped and iamb your pentameter as we revel in Baz Luhrmann’s deliciously over-the-top Romeo + Juliet (1996), one of the first episodes we ever recorded—and producer Randall’s personal white whale. Did this soundtrack ever leave your Discman? Are we the biggest Shakespeare dorks who ever lived? Is Harold Perrineau’s Mercutio pure sex in platform heels? (No question he carries this film.) Or is John Leguizamo’s Tybalt the true snack? Don’t get us wrong, Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes are adorable portraying young love, but we could do with less screaming. Now please excuse us as we listen to The Cardigans on loop. 

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Beverly Hills, what a thrill! Take a trip back to the golden days of childhood when you were forced to interact with nature and coveted a sash with badges celebrating achievements like "Science" and "Friendship" and "Describing Fashion to Blind People". Was Shelly Long a secret fashion icon? Was Jenny Lewis THE unsung child star of the '90s? Does anyone today remember half of the people with cameos in this movie? And was anyone really clamouring to see Craig T. Nelson shirtless? Get ready to glamp in style and do the Freddie with us as we enjoy some khaki wishes and cookie dreams with our favorite Wilderness Girls and Troop Beverly Hills.

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Grunge up your unwashed hair and please put out that endless chain of cigarettes as we succumb to the 90s slacker vortex that is Reality Bites. Do Winona Ryder and Ethan Hawke’s characters actually deserve each other because they both suck so much? And should we feel bad for Ben Stiller or relieved that he totally dodged a bullet there? Could we just watch Steve Zahn be adorable and Janeane Garofalo in her perfect vintage outfits instead? And can we directly blame all the shitty behavior and toxic relationships during our 20s on this movie? We’ll let you know as soon as we stop listening to Lisa Loeb on loop.

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Slap on that fedora and crack your whip, cuz it’s time we MEET STEVEN SPIELBERG—OK MAYBE WE JUST SAW HIM LIVE ON STAGE—WITH LIN-MANUEL MIRANDA—BUT HE SAID HE LOVED US at a special theatrical screening Raiders of the Lost Ark at the United Palace in Washington Heights. Is Bryce a true romantic for going to see Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull in the theater multiple times with Randall? How did Dayna manage not to watch this movie until her 20s—and not see Temple of Doom as of this recording? Who is everyone’s bigger first film crush, Harrison Ford or Karen Allen? And can we just say f@ck you Nazi monkey? Honestly, we have too many feelings about this film to give you too many answers. 

Time to hide from those random mobsters and don a to-die-for statement coat as we tango the night away with Billy Wilder's classic drag comedy Some Like It Hot. What do you call it when you look back on a nostalgia piece nostalgically? Nostalgia squared? Dostalgia? Why is there a gangster film crammed on top of this buddy flick? Is Tony Curtis pouting during this whole movie or are his lips just that luscious? Were Marilyn Monroe's costumes held on purely by a wing and a prayer? And is this episode where we first discover Randall's #pocketcheese? Our answer is obvious: nobody's perfect.
 

Brush out your favorite feathered wig and practice your German deadpan as we search for the Origin of Love in John Cameron Mitchell’s dragstravaganza Hedwig and the Angry Inch. How did this movie so perfectly capture how shitty it is to be a touring performer with no following? Is Andrea Martin’s Phyllis Stein the ultimate ride or die b*tch. Is Miriam Shor’s Yitzhak ultimately shortchanged? And if you ever meet someone who doesn’t appreciate this soundtrack, how quickly should you run in the other direction? We’ll give you some answers as soon as we find our coveted Wig In A Box covers album wherever its hiding in our CD collection. 

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Snap those fingers and blow out that candle, man, as we immerse ourselves in Mike Myers’s personal mythology in Tommy Schlamme’s So I Married an Axe Murderer. Is this movie basically a Rosetta Stone for all of Myers’s future films? How does a beat poet afford an incredible apartment in San Francisco—unless he’s actually the one who is a black widow killer? Are the comedy cameos in this, from Charles Brolin to Steven Wright, the best of all time? Or do the incessant “bits” that it spawned ruin the fun? The only thing we can say is: Let’s get pissed!

Prepare to crash land in a backyard pool and shave off all your candy-colored fur so we can have a Close Encounter of the Sex Romp kind with 1988's Earth Girls Are Easy. Why would Geena Davis ever pick Charles Rocket's Dr Love over actual Adonis Jeff Goldblum? Did you know Damon Wayans could tear up a dance floor? And why did Jim Carrey not spend his career being a hot blond guy? Was this movie just a feature-length vehicle for Julie Brown's excellent Cuz I'm A Blond music video? (We're ok with that.) Or was it a subversive comment on gender norms and sexual mores? (Even more ok with that.) We'd like to answer you, but we can't spell that good. 

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Collect your various plastic lady parts and prepare to literally turn women into objects as we cringe all over Andrew McCarthy and Kim Cattrall’s disappointing relationship in 1987’s Mannequin. Why did Roxie get shafted so badly by this movie? Who do we need to punish for the horrible violation that is James Spader’s hair? Can we just spend our days drinking cocktails with Estelle Getty and spilling tea with Meshach Taylor? And did Alex just reveal that she’s a serial killer? There are no answers, only Ham Spader.   

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Brace yourself for a federally funded makeover and describe your idea of a perfect date as we strive for world peace with Sandra Bullock in 2000’s Miss Congeniality. Does this movie comment on the objectification of women and dismissive stereotypes, or just straight up continue them? How can Benjamin Bratt be so good looking and yet such a jerk? (Actually, nevermind, that one answers itself.) And how do those donuts survive being smuggled in such… intimate places? Ask us again after we learn this complicated choreography and stop a live terrorist attack while looking completely flawless. 

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Turn your radio dial to needy and rack up those frequent flyer miles as we fend off seasonal affective disorder in Nora Ephron’s Sleepless in Seattle. Why were we taught that Walter was not good enough, when he doesn’t seem to be the problem here? How did we miss that Meg Ryan was a legit stalker in this? What’s better, mom core or mom porn? Should we just watch An Affair To Remember? And how does nobody know what tiramisu is?? Our flight got delayed somewhere over Cleveland so we’ve got no answers for you. 

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Warm up that formula and practice your diapering skills as we doo-wop our way into Leonard Nimoy’s (YUP) surprise blockbuster Three Men and a Baby. Did every 80s comedy have to involve drug dealers in some bizarre way? With the release of this movie, My Two Dads, and Full House, was 1987 the year of the Daddy fetish? How little plot do you need to hold together a movie that is otherwise nothing but fun montages? And how many rooms does this Manhattan apartment-share have?? We might be able to give you some answers if we weren’t so distracted by Tom Selleck’s powerful thighs. 

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Grab your cutest jean cut-offs and practice your cha-cha as we embrace the world-opening summer fling that is 1987’s Dirty Dancing. If you do not sing along to this movie, are you a psychopath? Is Patrick Swayze too perfect in all his wounded vulnerability? Is Jennifer Grey actually taking advantage of him? At what point in life do you completely sympathize with World’s Best Dad Jerry Orbach? Should this movie be played on repeat until everyone learns the importance of ready access to reproductive health care? Why are those watermelons so huge?? And is “Nobody put Baby in a corner” the best movie line that makes absolutely no sense? All we know is that we had the time of our lives recording this ep.

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Pull on your sweatiest tank top and let the wind lift your long prison locks as we take off on Con Air. Is the length of Nicolas Cage’s sideburns an accurate barometer for his character’s craziness in a given film? Did John Cusack borrow his suit from David Byrne for this? Is Helen alone in finding Steve Buscemi supremely attractive? Why didn’t Trisha Yearwood’s How Do I Live come on every time John Malkovich and Nic Cage were on screen together? And who leaves their kid in an abandoned plane graveyard?? We don’t have any answers for you, but plenty of explosions. 

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