How we display anger can bring on regret & embarrassment, but moving through those emotions full force can be overwhelming & exhausting, too. Understanding how to manage our anger & not let it control us in those chaotic moments can help us better understand what is triggering the anger & how we can use that knowledge to come to a solution. I have 10 tips to share on how to manage anger.
Show Notes:
Anger for me can come on easily. I had to work really hard to not allow myself to be so angry at everything in life & I’m still working on it. When I was younger any anger I had would stay bottled up because there was no safe place to let it out. And anger was seen more as an emotional breakdown with lots of tears & frustration. But when I became an adult, I felt like I had this right to display my anger more forthright.
My anger generally comes out in yelling & screaming & wanting to throw something. I haven’t broken anything, but I will just generally toss something across the room & huff and puff a bit. It was the yelling part that I really had to work on.
And it can be true that when we are going through an episode of anger, all we see is red. This is where knowing your anger triggers comes into play. We have spoken about anxiety triggers recently & will soon talk about depression triggers, but even anger has triggers.
We all display anger in different ways. Some are more violent ways & others are more emotional and others still are somewhere in the middle. Having de-escalation tactics in your back pocket will help you come down from an anger episode quicker than without, but understanding where your anger comes from will help you be aware of what triggers your anger and you’ll be able to avoid some of those episodes.
But if you struggle with anger, I want you to start thinking about how most anger is linked to fear because they both live in a place of needing control. You become angry because you are afraid of an outcome or a consequence, something that is out of your control. Even something as simple as being angry that the barista made your coffee wrong. This could be your fear of not having a good day because it started off rough, fear of being misunderstood because they made your coffee wrong.
Today I want to share with you 10 ways to handle your anger in the moment:
- Take a breath & count to 10
- Explain how you feel to the other person (without raised voices/I statements)
- Leave the situation, take a time out
- Question your emotions, respond rather than react
- Ask Yourself: Have you made a similar mistake? (give grace)
- Take a walk
- Find a temporary distraction
- Practice gratitude & decide if it’s worth it to be angry
- Find someone to vent your anger to (release)
- Learn what triggers your anger
Thank you again for listening & I hope this episode was helpful.
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