gottman institute

Megan and Michelle gossip about gossip, maintaining alliances, creepy uncles, dirty secrets, the dark triad, betraying trust, celebrity deaths, and the need for validation.

Resources:
The Evolution of Gossip
Psychologists say gossiping is a social skill. Here's how to know if you're doing it right.
Why People Like To Gossip
The Science of Gossip: Why We Can't Stop Ourselves
The Science Behind Why People Gossip—And When It Can Be a Good Thing
Better Than Its Reputation? Gossip and the Reasons Why We and Individuals With “Dark” Personalities Talk About Others
How Patriarchy Redefined “Gossip” to Be a Women’s Thing

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What is biddin for a connection? Gottman refers to bids as “the fundamental unit of emotional communication.” Bids can be small or big, verbal or nonverbal. They’re requests to connect. They might take the form of an expression, question, or physical outreach. They can be funny, serious, or sexual in nature.

There are three ways you can respond to a bid:

1. Turning towards (acknowledging the bid)
2. Turning away (ignoring or missing the bid)
3. Turning against (rejecting the bid in an argumentative or belligerent way)

You can either be a relationship master or a relationship disaster and that's all up to you!

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The 988 Lifeline
988 is now active across the United States. This new, shorter phone number will make it easier for people to remember and access mental health crisis services. (Please note, the previous 1-800-273-TALK (8255) number will continue to function indefinitely.) https://988lifeline.org/

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Panelists discuss "stonewalling" — when one partner checks out physically or emotionally during intense moments, refusing to talk things through — and what you can do if it's happening in your relationship. Plus Karen's Sermon on the Pubic Mound.

In this episode:

• Jason Best - Sex-positive & kink-aware therapist
• Tazima Parris - Sex coach & pleasure mentor
• Korey McWilliams - Relationship & sex therapist
• Karen Yates - Host, somatic sex educator, and sound healer
• Full episode transcript available on our website! 

Download Karen's free publication "Say It Better in Bed: Three Ways to Improve Intimate Communication."

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Countless studies consistently show that porn consumers tend to struggle in their relationships. From poorer relationship quality to an increased likelihood of cheating, research suggests that porn plays a major role in fueling unhealthy relationship dynamics.

This episode is a part of our Get The Facts series, where we explore the research on a specific topic  surrounding porn’s harms to help you be more informed and more empowered with the facts.

You can find our Get The Facts articles and sources for the claims made in this episode at ftnd.org/GetTheFacts

Click here to access the resources discussed in this episode.

To learn more about the harms of pornography on consumers, relationships, and its larger societal impacts, visit FTND.org.

To support this podcast, click here.

As you go about your day we invite you to increase your self-awareness, look both ways, check your blindspots, and consider before consuming.

Fight the New Drug collaborates with a variety of qualified organizations and individuals with varying personal beliefs, affiliations, and political persuasions. As FTND is a non-religious and non-legislative organization, the personal beliefs, affiliations, and persuasions of any of our team members or of those we collaborate with do not reflect or impact the mission of Fight the New Drug.

In today's episode, Kimberly speaks with world-renowned marriage and divorce researcher Dr. John Gottman! 

Kimberly and Dr. Gottman pack a lot into this exciting episode. They discuss various topics like commitment, what makes sex great in a relationship, how to be more intentional with your spouse, constructive conflict, dating your spouse, and so much more! 

Kimberly and Dr. Gottman cover ALL THE THINGS we contemplate most in our relationships, so grab a notebook and a pen to discover more about commitment, what makes a great marriage, and how to make a marriage last.

You are going to want to share this episode with your friends and family. So make sure you hit the share button in your podcast player and text it to everyone you think would find value from this fantastic conversation with Dr. John Gottman.

Today’s Speaker: Dr. John Gottman, Ph.D. World-renowned marriage and divorce researcher.

World-renowned for his work on marital stability and divorce prediction, John Gottman has conducted 40 years of breakthrough research with thousands of couples. 

Dr. Gottman was one of the Top 10 Most Influential Therapists of the past quarter-century by the Psychotherapy Networker. He is the author or co-author of over 200 published academic articles and more than 40 books, including the bestselling The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work; What Makes Love Last; Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love; The Relationship Cure; Why Marriages Succeed or Fail, and Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child — among many others. Dr. Gottman’s media appearances include Good Morning America, Today, CBS Morning News, and Oprah, as well articles in The New York Times, Ladies Home Journal, Redbook, Glamour, Woman’s Day, People, Self, Reader’s Digest, and Psychology Today.

Co-founder of The Gottman Institute and co-founder of Affective Software, Inc. with his wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, John was also the Executive Director of the Relationship Research Institute. He is Professor Emeritus of Psychology at the University of Washington, where he founded “The Love Lab” at which much of his research on couples’ interactions was conducted. To read more about Dr. Gottman’s research, check out this page for interesting questions and citations to his work.

John co-presents with wife Julie Schwartz Gottman The Art and Science of Love workshops five times a year in Seattle. He also co-presents the Level 1, Level 2, and Level 3 Clinical Training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy. His style of presentation is clear, informative, and filled with humor, and he is beloved by his audiences everywhere.

Website: www.gottman.com

Books: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work 

Eight Dates

Get the Attraction Assessment by visiting PIESUniversity.com, scroll down and wait for the pop-up. 

You’ll Learn

• The secret to a happy marriage
• What makes sex great and why you should cuddle more
• How to date your spouse

Season 2, Episode 76: Dr. John Gottman: World-Renowned Marriage and Divorce Researcher Reveals All the Top Secrets for Great Relationships

Feeling lonely is a completely human experience, but it can be so difficult! This topic has been floating through my private practice lately so I wanted to share with you here. Today we chat about the difference between being alone and lonely, what you're really looking for when you're lonely, and the ways we miss subtle bids for connection. 

mentioned links: 

ritualizing your routine: ideas for inner practices 

mentor links: 

www.maggiedipasquale.com

1:1 mentoring 

Podcast Info

• A new podcast episode drops every Monday.
• Music credit: L-Ray Music, Courtesy of Shutterstock, Inc.
• Learn more about your host, Cordelia, by clicking here
• Be sure to follow Cordelia on Instagram: @codependentrecovery
• Want to help me make this podcast better?  Take an anonymous survey here.

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WORKBOOK + COMMUNITY + RESOURCES

• Want access to free resources? Click here
• Need help finding a therapist? Click here
• Check out Cordelia's book recommendations here
  • Disclosure: Cordelia is an affiliate of Bookshop.org and she will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.
• Are you going through a breakup or divorce?  Here is the link to the 98-page workbook.  Print version + ebook version available worldwide.
• Want to join the community (i.e., community club or book club)? Click here
• Interested in any other affiliate links? Click here
  • Note: affiliate links mean Cordelia earns a commission if you click through and make a purchase.

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CITATIONS FOR TODAY'S EPISODE

• The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert by John Gottman, PhD, and Nan Silver

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BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS

• The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert by John Gottman, PhD, and Nan Silver

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WORKSHEETS

• Gottman Worksheets

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UPCOMING GUESTS' INFORMATION

• SORAYA CHEMALY - EPISODE: FEBRUARY 15, 2021
  • Twitter: @schemaly
  • Instagram: @sorayachemaly
  • Website: http://www.sorayachemaly.com/
  • Buy her book: Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women's Anger by Soraya Chemaly
• DR. LAUREN FOGEL MERSY - EPISODE: MARCH 1, 2021
  • Instagram: @drlaurenfogelmersy
  • Her Link Tree with access to other places to find her work: https://linktr.ee/drlaurenfogelmersy

Monogamous, polyam, kinky or solo — we all get into sex ruts! Our panel discusses how to climb on out and bring a sense of play back into your sex life. The audience asks questions. Plus Karen's Sermon on the Pubic Mound on confronting trauma when trying new things.

In this episode:

• sex-positive therapist Jason Best
• sex and intimacy coach Tazima Parris
• sex educator Heather Rider
• Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel
• Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski
• Science for Sexual Happiness by Caffyn Jesse
• All the books in this episode
• The Gottman Institute
• Wild & Sublime on Instagram
• Wild & Sublime on Twitter
• Wild & Sublime Facebook

The Afterglow: Support us for as little as $5/month. Get your questions answered, plus Q&A audio each month! Or make a one-time contribution here. Thank you!

Love the show? Leave a rating and review on your podcast app! 

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How do you prevent trauma in your kids, when you are suffering from trauma yourself?

Basically everyone who survives childhood has little ‘t’ traumas, but exactly how much those traumas effect you determines where you have memories or whether you have complex ptsd.  In this in-depth episode, Augustine Colebrook and Kesha Chiappinelli speak with Licensed Professional Councelor and psychotherapist specializing in treating trauma to arm parents who have themselves experienced trauma with tools to know how to decrease the likelyhood of passing on the trauma.

 Show Resources
-Dr. Bruce Perry
-ACEs study
-Resilience study in regards to ACEs
-John & Julie Gottman
-Stephen Porges polyvagal response
-Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk
-EMDRIA.org
-Richard Grannon
-The Crappy Childhood Trauma

In this episode, we interview LMFT and Master Trainer at the Gottman Institute, Laura Heck.  Laura is the Co-Developer of The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work Leadership Training and also the Co-Host of Marriage Therapy Radio.  She is a wealth of knowledge and ball of energy!  We ask her about the 7 Principles, her work with conflict, and how she found her way into marriage therapy.  She also shares about her personal life, where she sees most couples struggle, and how she helps them work through extremely difficult times.  We only intended to speak for 45-60 minutes, but we were having so much fun that we just kept learning, sharing, and connecting!  This is definitely a fun episode and it will be a great fit for people in any stage of relationship.