Have you noticed that people are on edge now more than ever? It seems that we experience the world differently post COVID. You know what Iām talking about.Ā
In this episode, Iāll share ways to conquer self-care as a mom of an autistic, especially in a pandemic.
Find the full transcript at thrivingmomsofautistics.com/6
When my son was a baby, my mom group had an art project. We made t shirts. Mine said, āMommin Aināt Easy!ā This was before autism was a thing in our family and definitely before the pandemic.Ā
Autism moms juggle many balls daily
As moms of autistics, we wear many hats. They are all important. But in the midst of deep challenges and chaos, there is one hat that is a must.
So when things get crazy and you are at that boiling point or teetering on the edge ā¦ You know what Iām talking about. Put on your special hat!
The key to pulling it all together when your autism journey takes a turn
What I mean by that is think HAT. Halt what youāre doing. So stop!Ā
Acknowledge what is going on in your body. Are you feeling shaky? Is it hard to focus? Does your belly hurt? The list goes on.
Now that youāve taken a hot minute to stop and acknowledge, tap into your talents. Talents are your personal resources or strengths. This is important because those talents will get you through the tough times.Ā
We all have personal strengths. Itās hard for all of us to pinpoint those strengths. Thatās not unusual. I explore this in more detail in episode 5. So be sure to check it out if you havenāt already. We can identify our challenges much easier than identifying our strengths.Ā
I love positive psychology because it allows us to focus on what is right about ourselves rather than solely on what is wrong.Ā
When we do this during hard times, our strengths will carry us through. Strengths are great tools to have in your mom toolboxes.Ā
What are your strengths?
I can almost hear the chirping in your mind right now. Itās hard to identify your own strengths, isnāt it? You might consider grabbing a 90-minute clarity session with me to dive deeper into your personal toolbox.
Challenges to using HAT when parenting a young autistic child
So the whole HAT is important. It sounds easy enough to halt in the midst of chaos, but itās not. You have to do this when itās safe. Itās not always safe for moms of autistics to just stop and take a moment.Ā
I was in Walmart recently and my son was slightly walking behind me because he was dawdling. He wasnāt paying attention and walked into a little girl walking with her mom in the opposite direction.Ā
Her mom looked perplexed. I wasnāt able to stop and deal with the situation because my son darted off toward a preferred item. You know what I mean. Heās an eloper ā¦ a runner. Many of us have them.
So I had to deal with him in that moment. There was no time to stop and explore the situation further.Ā
Moms of Autistics Master Transitions
Successful moms of autistics are able to pick their battles and be okay with moving forward without perfect transitions. In a perfect world, I would have loved to have explored the situation further with the little girlās mother. But I had to make sure my son was safe first and foremost.Ā
That is hard for a perfectionist such as me. I have learned to be comfortable with moving on from situations that do not end as nice, neat packages. Therefore, I wear another hat. It is the magical hat of letting go.Ā