194 - How to Build A New Identity
Amy Ledin raises an intriguing question at the heart of today's discussion: 'What new habits are now a part of your daily life that weren't here before?'
In this thought-provoking episode, Amy discusses the journey of evolving one's identity to foster a healthier, more fulfilling life. She shares insights into the psychological shifts necessary for adopting new habits and the importance of belief in oneself. Through engaging narratives and evidence-based strategies, she provides listeners with the tools to shift their identity in alignment with their health and personal goals.
Key Takeaways:
- Understand the link between identity belief and behavior alignment.
- How to achieve internal harmony through aligned beliefs and actions.
- How environmental influences and social circles can impact your identity shift.
“The more that you're really clear on this is, this is who I want to be, this is the identity I'm chasing, that becomes easier. Now, people are motivated to seek confirmation and validation of their self-concept. So, if an individual holds a belief about a particular aspect of their identity, they may actively speak that out.” - Amy Ledin
Follow me on Social Media:
- Amy on IG
- Amy on Facebook
- Lean Bodies Consulting on Facebook
- Check out the Amy Ledin Website
- Lean Bodies Consulting Website for coaching
- Look Like You Train
- Join Our Facebook Group For Females
Resources:
- Build Your Health Character with me
- 5 for 50 Challenge
- How to Build Your First Fat-Loss Diet
- Amy’s Follow-Through Challenge
- 5 Common Mistakes Women Over 40 Make That Lead to Belly Fat
- Meals over Macros & Structured Flexibility
Transcript:
Amy Ledin
0:00
There's also like, the self-fulfilling prophecy. It's believing in a particular aspect of that identity, you perceive yourself in a certain way, and eventually, you come into it. This is why I do believe in playing the role, hence, building the health character. At first, you're not going to be there, of course, you're not going to be there. But you want to already be clear on the things that need to happen to be there and start playing aspects of that.
Amy Ledin
0:28
What are you doing to create your dream life or your best self? Why do we see some thrive through challenges while others struggle? Welcome to F* It!, a podcast where I talk about the main Fs in my life that have helped me in creating my best self: faith, family, forgiveness, food, fitness, and formula. Hi, my name is Amy Ledin and most would say that I've had my fair share of struggles. Whether it was placing my baby for adoption at 18, facing my marriage-ending affair, or battling stage four cancer for almost seven years, it's safe to say that I've been through a lot. Join me as I take you through my story, my journeys, and share with you the tactical strategies every single week that will help you thrive and overcome anything you face. That's right, I'm going to show you how to create a future self that you'll be proud of. So buckle up, get ready for the ride as I take you through my story and bring other guests on that have helped me along the way.
Amy Ledin
1:20
Okay, if your old life looks similar to your new life, you're most likely just playing a role. And in fact, you've really just not changed your identity, you're just good at playing that part. Can you hear me out because today we're going to talk all about shifting your identity and what that really looks like. But the reason this came up and why I've been sharing this a lot on my Instagram stories is that research has shown once a person believes in a particular aspect of their identity, they're more likely to act in alignment with that belief. It's like the person that quit smoking and just starts to say, I'm not a smoker and then these are the behaviors of a nonsmoker, right? I don't take as many breaks anymore, or whatever it may be. This could also be someone going from being unhealthy to I'm healthy and what do those behaviors look like? And the more that you are able to believe in these particular aspects of your identity, you're just more likely to pull yourself towards that alignment and then it just makes those habits a lot easier to follow. You know, I'd shared on my Instagram stories, when we got up here to Canada, it was a real big change not just in my routine but in the weather and just getting into the habit of my first thing in the morning, getting a walk in instead, walk started to be kind of just whenever and then before you know what I was breaking my streak. And so I needed to get back to the core identity of I am someone that walks every day. Period. Right? I mean, I get it, things happen, life happens. But I wanted to my core for that to be similar to brushing my teeth in that it would just feel weird. It's just part of my identity of doing these things every day. And so it just got me thinking about when it comes to you becoming this new person, you should see, it's not going to be maybe necessarily overnight, but if I was to compare my life to five, seven years ago, it is completely different. I'm talking completely, like, I have changed my routines, like I've just my whole life has changed. And you know, that is always going to be evident in those things.
Amy Ledin
3:25
And this all came up because Erik had a returning client that's been with Lean Bodies Consulting over the years a couple of times, so not new to losing weight. And back, this person now is down like 30, or 40 pounds has probably about double that to go. So let's say like 70 to 80 pounds, but about halfway there. And this client's like, you know what? I got it from here. I'm good. You know what? I'm losing and so thanks for everything and I'll see you later. And you know, Erik and I have discussed this, this is very common with people in that they are seeing that measurable thing of the losing the weight is like their problem is solved, right? And so Erik replied, I'm sure it really surprised this person because Erik said, but you don't have it from here. Sure, you know how to lose weight. You've done this before. And back two years ago, you lost 40 pounds, but we're still back here, you've not changed who you are, what new habits are now a part of your daily life that weren't here before. And if you can't list off a ton of them, well, then you know what, you're just playing a role, you really haven't shifted that identity. Right?
Amy Ledin
4:28
So this, you know, comes up quite often and so I wanted to kind of go through some of these things just to maybe, hey, maybe they'll help you I know they've helped me. You know, for me, it used to be the test of how do I behave on vacations? And don't get me wrong, I know that when we're on vacation, at least when it comes to like my fitness and my eating, it is going to be a little bit different. But is it going to be a free-for-all where I don't even walk and I don't even go to the gym and I'm just eating my face off? No. Now, was I like that maybe 10 years ago? Yes. And that tells me that I haven't shifted my identity of becoming this person. And the reason why you want to do this is it becomes easier to live here. When we are always fighting it, we're fighting the alignment, we're gonna have that inner bitch really talking to us a lot, because we're just not showing up to the potential of where we need to be, right? And so, testing your weekends, testing vacations, testing these one-off days to just really see how you behave.
Amy Ledin
5:25
Now, I wanted to dive in deeper to why is it that we are more likely to act in alignment? Why does it make it easier? Well, there's a lot of areas, some key factors that come into play when we are working on that self-identity and one of them is consistency and cognitive dissonance. This is where humans have the natural inclination towards cognitive consistency. Hey, when our beliefs, our attitudes, and our behaviors are aligned we do experience this sense of internal harmony. This is really what we're chasing. We are chasing just feeling good. We may think that we're chasing, losing the weight or making all the money, but what we're really chasing is all the behaviors and processes that it takes to get there. It is the daily walks, it is the meal prepping, it is learning to say no to certain spending binge because you're trying to save. It's all of those things, whatever that goal is and then like, being aligned, we really were craving that internal harmony, right? Now, when we don't have cognitive, on the other hand, with cognitive dissonance, that discomfort arising from conflicting beliefs and actions, it doesn't make us want to go with, move towards that and this is where we will start to hear a lot of that inner bitch talking and complaining and saying things to us, because we're just not living there. Right?
Amy Ledin
6:56
So what you could do in this area, this is where you would want to get really clear on your beliefs, what you're chasing, your identity. For our clients, I always want them to build a health character. In fact, in the show notes, I believe, we would have a link where you can go sign up and do the free health character, because you've got to have some clarity on who you're trying to be. It's like with a client of mine, if we're a few months in, I'm going to continue to remind them, okay, well, who are we chasing here? And not just like a look not just a number, like, how does she behave? What does she do on a daily basis? What time is she getting up every day? Those details matter to our brain because here's the thing, the more that you start to align yourself with that you'll just be pulled towards it. The more that you're really clear on this is, this is who I want to be, this is the identity I'm chasing, that becomes easier. Now, people are motivated to seek confirmation and validation of their self-concept. So, if an individual holds a belief about a particular aspect of their identity, they may actively speak that out. So this is where building that health character and I have mine very detailed, she's someone that every day, does some form of meal prep, she has every day, some form of movement. And the more that I put that in writing, and really, I'm going to seek validation from those things that I've already deemed as being part of that identity, if that makes sense, right? So now you're like, well, this is what a healthy person would do. And then there's also like, the self-fulfilling prophecy. It's like believing in a particular aspect of that identity, you perceive yourself in a certain way, and eventually, you come into it. This is why I do believe in playing the role, hence, building the health character. At first, you're not going to be there, of course, you're not going to be there. But you want to already be clear on the things that need to happen to be there and start playing aspects of that. I really, when I'm going to the grocery store, I play that health character role, especially those first few times where maybe, it may be in the past going to Publix, for example, I love Publix grocery stores, and their cakes and their frosting are so amazing. And I really had to build this character, like my health character, she doesn't go over to the bakery to tempt herself, she's sticking to the perimeter of the grocery store and this is, when she goes to the grocery store, she makes sure that she doesn't buy things that are going to tempt her. And I just go into all that detail because it just makes it so much easier with just playing right into the role.
Amy Ledin
9:44
And then of course, there's other things that can help shift your identity. One would be around other people's influence. There is a huge power in your environment. In fact, in one of the books that I read, Willpower Doesn't Work, he talked about this phenomenon, that you can have the best strategy, you could have your diet laid out, your training laid out, but let's say no one around you is really supporting that or living that way, it's actually going to be harder for that person versus the person that has really no plan but their group of friends, their tribe, their family, their people, they live healthy lifestyles, that person is more likely to shift their identity to their tribe, than that person that had all the strategies on paper. And so what this tells you is you want to find other people that are living like you. We have in our Look Like You Train program, which it is actually getting ready to enroll, I don't know, by the time this one launches, we'll see. But at the beginning of December, we enroll for that, but one of the powers of our Facebook group, you've got almost 500 ladies in there, but we're all chasing similar goals, right? So when we start to align ourselves with these people, even if your habit isn't, as of yet to say walk daily, you better believe by the end of those 12 weeks in that group, you're walking daily. One of them is that we don't consume caffeine, the first two hours upon waking, and when people get in the group, that's one of the things they're like, oh my gosh, that's just so crazy. No way, I'm not gonna do it. And then as time goes on, they see their tribe, they see their people doing these things, and guess what, it starts to pull them towards that and they start to live in that way. So don't discount your friendships, your environment, your home in helping you shift your identity.
Amy Ledin
11:46
But the most important thing to ask yourself today is, is my life looking similar to what it looked like last year? And if it does look similar, well, then you know what, it's time to put some of these things in writing some of these habits, some of these behaviors that will truly help you get to the new identity that you're, you're so badly wanting to be at, and really start to measure those on a daily basis. You know, like I said, you'll see on my Instagram right now I'm back, you know, now it's probably three and a half weeks of walking straight. But it's, it's back to being my thing, that first thing in the morning, I go for a walk. And I want that to stay with me. And so I'm going to continue to really get that clarity around what that new identity looks like so I can continue to shift towards it. So I hope this one helps you in working on yours, feel free to download the How To Create Your Health Character, that's just one area of your life that you can build one in, but the email series that gets sent to you also will show you how to put this into other areas of your life and really just hope to continue to help you level up. So, have a great one.
Amy Ledin
12:51
Okay, I'm on a mission. As you know, if you've been following along, I have a goal to be at top 100 podcasts. And it's less about that top 100 and more about I want to make an impact. I want more people to hear F* It! and learn from all of the mistakes that I've made, along with me bringing on really special guests for you. So my ask here is this. I want you to screenshot this episode today and share it on your social media, share it with a friend, you know, tag me in it. Go give me a review, of course, if you're really feeling it, and rate me. You know, this is the only way things are gonna get seen here. And in a big world of tons and tons of podcasts, I'm hoping that you're going to choose mine and help me on my mission.
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DISCLAIMER: The opinions, beliefs, and viewpoints expressed by the hosts and guests on this podcast do not necessarily represent or reflect the official policy, opinions, beliefs, and viewpoints of Disenyo.co LLC and its employees.
