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    198. The psychology of ‘mommy issues’ and mother wounds

    enMay 24, 2024

    Podcast Summary

    • The Impact of Our Relationships with Caregivers on Our DevelopmentUnderstanding the influence of our caregivers, especially mothers, on our development can lead to greater self-awareness and personal growth. Prioritize health, support black-led businesses, and use tools like Nature's Way, Intuit, and Pronamel to enhance various aspects of life.

      The relationships we have with our caregivers, particularly our mothers, significantly impact our development and shape who we become. These relationships can leave both positive and negative influences, and understanding these dynamics can lead to greater self-awareness and personal growth. During our twenties, it's essential to prioritize our health, including our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Brands like Nature's Way, Intuit, and Pronamel can help support us in various aspects of our lives. Nature's Way Alive women's multivitamin gummies provide essential vitamins and minerals for women, while Intuit offers financial tools for managing money. Pronamel focuses on oral health, ensuring we protect our teeth for the long term. Moreover, supporting black-led businesses, like those available at Walmart, is an essential step towards creating a more diverse and inclusive world. These businesses offer a wide range of products that can fit seamlessly into our daily routines. Lastly, the bond between us and our mothers is a primal and powerful one, shaping our personalities and influencing our relationships with ourselves and others. Understanding this dynamic can lead to greater self-awareness and personal growth. It's important to remember that our mothers are not solely responsible for our challenges, but their influence is undeniable.

    • Mother's experiences during pregnancy shape usMothers' traumas, even from generations past, can be passed down epigenetically, impacting descendants' brain development and behavior.

      Our relationships with our mothers, starting from before we are born, significantly shape who we become as individuals. The mother-child bond is profound and spiritual, and our mothers' experiences and emotional states during pregnancy can impact our brain development through a phenomenon called fetal programming. This means that our mothers' traumas, even those from generations before, can be passed down epigenetically, leaving a chemical mark on our genes that lasts for generations. Studies have shown that children and grandchildren of people who experienced traumatic events, such as the US Civil War and the Holocaust, have inherited their ancestors' stress responses, fears, and behavioral problems. This intergenerational transmission of trauma is a reminder that our past, no matter how far back, continues to echo in our descendants' lives.

    • Mothers' Influence on Our Development: Mother Wounds and Father WoundsUnderstanding mother and father wounds can help recognize and address the roots of childhood emotional hurts, impacting self-esteem, self-worth, emotional connections, authority, independence, and approval.

      Our mothers' experiences and the way they parent us significantly shape our development and reality, impacting us emotionally, psychologically, and socially. This influence extends beyond our genetic makeup and can be traced back to the distinct types of wounds we carry – mother wounds and father wounds. Mother wounds often revolve around self-esteem, self-worth, and emotional connections, while father wounds are more about authority, independence, and approval. Additionally, mother wounds may be influenced by societal expectations and patriarchal norms, shaping our relationships with ourselves and other women. For instance, our mothers' attitudes towards their own bodies and appearance can greatly impact how we perceive and value ours. Understanding these patterns can help us recognize and address the roots of our childhood wounds.

    • Mothers' experiences shape our body image and self-esteemMothers' unintentional dieting advice and body negativity, historical gender inequality, and societal pressures can leave deep emotional wounds, impacting our relationships with ourselves and other women.

      Our experiences with our mothers, shaped by cultural and societal influences, can leave deep emotional wounds that impact our body image, self-esteem, and relationships with other women. The phenomenon of "almond moms," who unintentionally pass on harmful dieting advice and body negativity, is a prime example of this. Additionally, the competition among women, rooted in historical gender inequality and the need to secure opportunities in a male-dominated society, can also lead to damaging emotional patterns. These wounds, often unspoken and overlooked, can significantly impact our emotional and psychological wellbeing. It's essential to recognize and address these wounds to foster healthier relationships with ourselves and others.

    • Support Black-Led Businesses at WalmartShopping at Walmart for black-owned hair growth supplements like Nutrafol and enamel repair products from Pronamel supports these businesses and contributes to emotional growth and healthier relationships. Visit walmart.com/blackandunlimited for more options.

      Supporting black-led businesses at Walmart is a powerful way to make a difference all year long. From hair growth supplements like Nutrafol to enamel repair products from Pronamel, there are numerous black-owned options to enhance your daily routine. Moreover, addressing past emotional wounds, particularly those related to mother-child relationships, is crucial for building healthy adult relationships. Products like Nutrafol and Pronamel can help address physical needs, while understanding and addressing the root causes of "mommy issues" can lead to emotional growth and healthier relationships. So, let's continue to show love and support for black founders and their innovative offerings. For more information on black-owned products at Walmart, visit walmart.com/blackandunlimited. And for those dealing with hair thinning, take the Nutrafol hair wellness quiz at neutrifol.com for a personalized hair health plan. For enamel repair, trust Pronamel's intensive enamel repair and new mouthwash. Remember, every purchase makes room for another black-led brand and contributes to a world of choice.

    • Mother-Child Relationships and Adult Romantic LifeOur relationships with mothers can impact our romantic relationships, causing emotional unavailability, fear of disapproval, or a desire for control. Understanding these patterns can help heal 'mother wounds' and improve future relationships.

      Our relationships with our mothers, whether positive or negative, can significantly impact our adult romantic relationships. If a mother has reversed roles with her child, creating a sense of responsibility and emotional burden, the child may fear repeating that pattern and become emotionally unavailable or wary in future relationships. Alternatively, if a mother's behavior, such as being in an abusive relationship or overbearing, instills a fear of disapproval or a desire for control, it can influence the child's expectations and experiences in romantic relationships. Ultimately, the love and experiences we receive from our mothers shape our understanding of relationships and can result in "mother wounds" that may not always be easily identified but can have profound effects on our romantic lives.

    • Growing up with a disapproving mother figureLack of self-worth, difficulty making decisions, chronic people-pleasing, and seeking validation from strong women can stem from a disapproving mother figure due to observational learning and societal conditioning. Healing is necessary for personal growth and future generations.

      Growing up with a disapproving and impossible-to-please mother figure can lead to a lack of self-worth based on external validation, difficulty making independent decisions, chronic people-pleasing, and a desire to seek validation from strong women in our lives. This conditioning stems from observational learning and the societal role of women as caretakers. These wounds can influence our perspective on motherhood and our ability to heal and break the cycle for future generations. It's essential to understand our mothers' actions and consider how we would raise ourselves differently while acknowledging that they did the best they could with their limitations. Unresolved wounds can be inherited and contagious, impacting those around us, and healing is necessary not only for our own growth but also for the benefit of future generations.

    • Healing from Mother Wounds: A Complex ProcessIdentify origins of emotional experiences, consider mother's response, prepare for conversation, approach with patience, compassion, and self-awareness.

      Understanding and healing from mother wounds is a complex and important process. It requires self-reflection to identify the origins of our emotional experiences and how they relate to our relationships with our mothers. Anger may be a common emotion, but it may not be the most helpful one in this context. Before approaching a conversation with our mothers, it's essential to consider how they may respond and what we hope to gain from the discussion. Preparation and self-awareness are key to navigating this process effectively. Remember, healing is a journey, and it's essential to approach it with patience, compassion, and a clear understanding of our own needs.

    • Healing from a strained mother relationshipIdentify and set boundaries with hurtful relationships and inner critic, understand its source, and replace with positive self-voice. Utilize resources for guidance.

      Setting boundaries and recognizing and addressing the inner critic are crucial steps in healing from the emotional wounds caused by a strained relationship with a mother. It's important to identify what is and isn't acceptable in our current lives and put distance from things that are hurtful or uncomfortable. This includes setting boundaries in relationships with others and recognizing the critical inner voice that may stem from our upbringing. By understanding where the inner critic comes from and separating ourselves from its negative emotions, we can begin to replace it with a more positive and supportive self-voice. Additionally, resources like the books "It Didn't Start With You" by Mark Walen and "What My Mother and I Don't Talk About" can provide valuable insights and guidance on this topic.

    • Exploring the complexities of mother-child relationshipsUnderstanding our mothers' pasts and practicing forgiveness and empathy can lead to healthier relationships and personal growth.

      Our relationships with our mothers can be complex and nuanced, filled with love, anger, and unmet emotional needs. Michelle Phan's anthology, "Mother's Milk," explores these complexities through the experiences of 14 women. It's okay to have mixed feelings towards our mothers, and healing often comes from a place of forgiveness and empathy. Understanding why our mothers behaved the way they did can help us break unhealthy patterns and create healthier relationships in the future. The anthology serves as a reminder to be kind and gentle with ourselves as we navigate the complexities of our mother-child relationships. Additionally, taking care of our physical health, such as our teeth, is important, and using products like Pronamel can help protect and repair enamel. Finally, events like Walmart's Black History Month celebrations offer opportunities to discover and try new black-led products, empowering us to level up our daily routines.

    • Nature's Way Alive women's multivitamin gummies: Essential nutrients for women's healthNature's Way Alive women's multivitamin gummies provide 16 essential vitamins and minerals, including the full B vitamin complex, for daily energy and healthy hair, skin, and nails. Use code Gemma10 for a 10% discount at naturesway.com/jemma10 by June 30th.

      Nature's Way Alive women's multivitamin gummies offer a convenient and effective solution for women looking to supplement their diet with essential vitamins and minerals. These gummies, which the speaker has personally used for over 5 years, contain 16 vitamins and minerals, including the full B vitamin complex, to help convert food into energy and support healthy hair, skin, and nails. With just two delicious gummies a day, Nature's Way Alive women's multivitamin gummies make it easy for women to feel their best every day. The speaker encourages listeners to visit naturesway.com/jemma10 and use code Gemma10 at checkout for a 10% discount on any alive women's multivitamins, valid through June 30th. By incorporating these gummies into their daily routine, women can ensure they're getting the nutrients they need to thrive.

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