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    35: One Simple Behaviour That Helps Relationships Last

    enJuly 04, 2020

    Podcast Summary

    • Judgments about relationships may be biased, but certain behaviors can predict success or failure.Reflect on our own behaviors and strive to improve ourselves and our relationships rather than focusing on others' perceived flaws.

      Our judgments about other people's relationships may not be based on objective reality, but rather on our own biases and preferences. However, there is research suggesting that certain behaviors, both positive and negative, can predict the success or failure of a relationship. For instance, constantly criticizing or being unromantic towards your partner can lead to relationship problems. On the other hand, small acts of thoughtfulness and respect can help build a strong foundation. So instead of focusing on the perceived flaws of others, we should reflect on our own behaviors and strive to improve ourselves and our relationships. As the researcher mentioned, we may not be able to predict the future of someone else's relationship, but we can control our own actions and attitudes towards our partners.

    • The number of 'yeses' in a relationship predicts its qualityMutual respect and acceptance of ideas, especially for men, leads to a thriving relationship. Say 'yes' more often and truly listen to your partner to improve happiness and longevity.

      The quality of a relationship can be predicted with surprising accuracy based on the number of "yeses" exchanged between partners, according to relationship expert John Gottman. He likens this to a metaphorical salt shaker, where instead of filling it with salt, you fill it with affirmations and agreement. Good relationships are built on mutual respect and acceptance of each other's ideas. For men in particular, the ability to accept influence from their partners is crucial. When men respond positively to their partners' suggestions, the relationship is more likely to thrive. Conversely, in troubled relationships, the salt shaker is filled with "nos," and the lack of shared power and respect can lead to a self-destructive marriage with an 81% chance of failure. By making a conscious effort to say "yes" more often and truly listen to our partners, we can greatly improve the happiness and longevity of our relationships.

    • Consistent affirmations, compliments, and appreciation are essential for a successful partnership.Regular affirmations, compliments, and appreciation strengthen relationships by making partners feel fulfilled, heard, and loved.

      In a successful partnership, frequency and collaboration are key. Research shows that consistent affirmations, compliments, and appreciation are essential for making our partners feel fulfilled, heard, and loved. While independence and self-actualization are important, once in a relationship, it's crucial to work together as a team. This means respecting each other's ideas, communicating effectively, and finding compromises that benefit both partners. When we focus on saying "yes" to our partners and accommodating their needs, we create a stronger bond and row the boat of our partnership in the same direction.

    • Saying 'yes' in relationships strengthens bondsCommunicating effectively, feeling heard, and balancing needs can deepen relationships through saying 'yes' more

      Effective communication and feeling heard are crucial in maintaining healthy relationships. Dismissing a partner's needs and concerns can lead to feelings of disrespect and hurt. Therefore, finding ways to say "yes" more to your partner's opinions, suggestions, and concerns can help foster a deeper connection. However, it's essential to ensure that both partners' needs are balanced and not consistently prioritized one over the other. Remember, building a strong foundation of confidence within oneself is also vital before entering a relationship. This can be started by visiting getcoreconfidence.com for free video training on the subject. Overall, saying "yes" more in relationships, when reciprocated, can be a simple yet effective step towards strengthening the bond between partners.

    • Balancing work and relaxationTake time for self-care and enjoyment, try activities like gaming for relaxation, and maintain positive relationships.

      Importance of taking time for relaxation and enjoyment. The speaker, who is currently in England, expresses her excitement for the upcoming episode and her plans for a relaxing weekend. She suggests activities like playing Nintendo Switch and Animal Crossing, which are known for their calming effects. This emphasizes the need to balance work or responsibilities with leisure and self-care. The speaker's use of a warm and friendly tone also highlights the importance of maintaining positive relationships and connections, whether in person or through media. Overall, this discussion encourages listeners to prioritize relaxation and enjoyment in their own lives, and to approach their weekends and future engagements with excitement and anticipation.

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