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    How to cultivate resilience and get through tough times (with Lucy Hone)

    en-usJanuary 25, 2021

    Podcast Summary

    • Navigating Through Tough Times: A Personal Journey of ResilienceEven in the face of unimaginable tragedy, there is always a way forward. Remember, you're not alone and support is available.

      Resilience, the ability to bounce back from adversity, is a crucial skill in navigating through tough times. Lucy Hone, an expert on well-being and resilience, shares her personal journey and research on coping with sorrow and tragedy. She emphasizes that we are not alone in our struggles and that there is a path through. Lucy, who lost her daughter in a tragic accident, shares how she went from being a resilience expert to a grieving mother, experiencing firsthand the unthinkable. Despite the overwhelming grief, she found a way to heal and rebuild her life. Her message is clear: no matter how difficult the situation may seem, there is always a way forward. When we feel like our world is falling apart, it's essential to remember that we are not alone, and there are resources and support available to help us through.

    • Exploring Resilience: Adapting and Learning from AdversityLearn to be adaptable and open to growth during challenging experiences to increase resilience. Insurers like Progressive offer tools to help make informed decisions and save money, mirroring the importance of resilience in life.

      Resilience is the ability of a person or organization to adapt and learn from adversity, enabling them to continue functioning reasonably well. It's not just about coping with hardships, but also about growing and changing through challenging experiences. While some people may have an inherent capacity to cope, resilience is largely a learned skill. The good news is that everyone has the power to increase their resilience through practical strategies and active engagement. In the realm of insurance, Progressive offers a similar approach by allowing customers to compare rates and coverage from various companies, enabling them to make informed decisions and save money. Similarly, in life, being resilient means being adaptable and open to learning from unexpected challenges. At Radiolab, they apply a rigorous curiosity to explore various topics, from science to politics, country music, hockey, and even the sex lives of bugs. Their goal is to help listeners see the world anew, just as we can learn and grow from life's adversities to become more resilient individuals.

    • Having open conversations about loss and difficult emotionsIt's important to acknowledge and sit with grief and trauma instead of hiding behind a facade of happiness, and creating space for open dialogue can be more helpful than polite silence.

      It's essential to have open conversations about coping with loss and difficult emotions, rather than avoiding them or trying to hide behind a facade of happiness. Grief and trauma are a natural part of life, and it's important to acknowledge and sit with these emotions instead of brushing them aside. Society's focus on happiness and Instagram-perfect lives can make it challenging to discuss difficult experiences, but creating space for open dialogue and allowing ourselves to be acknowledged can be more helpful than polite silence. The COVID-19 pandemic has shown us that no one is immune to hardships, and it's crucial to learn how to cope with them while also finding ways to move forward. The speaker's personal experience of losing her daughter and the cultural differences she's encountered in discussing grief illustrate the importance of acknowledging and sitting with pain while also finding balance and anchoring ourselves to something outside of it.

    • Sharing stories and creating a new narrative can help in healing and making sense of lossCreating a new life narrative by sharing stories and maintaining a connection with the deceased through memory and legacy can be beneficial during the grieving process

      During the grieving process, sharing stories and creating a new narrative can help in healing and making sense of loss. It's important to give those who have experienced a loss the time and space to tell their story, as this processing helps in creating a new life narrative. Additionally, maintaining a connection with the deceased through memory and legacy can be a valuable part of the healing process. This can include recognizing the impact the deceased had on one's life and continuing to talk about them to others. Furthermore, advancements in bereavement research show that maintaining a connection with the dead is not only possible but beneficial in the grieving process. This can involve keeping the deceased's place in the world alive through legacy and perpetuating their contributions to the world. Overall, these practices can help in creating a new ongoing relationship with those who have been lost, making the grieving process a more meaningful and integrated part of one's life.

    • Cultivating Resilience: Embracing Life's ChallengesAccept suffering as natural, focus on controllable aspects, and ask if actions help or harm for resilience; Claritin D offers fast allergy relief, Brooks Ghost Sixteen shoes provide running comfort

      Developing resilience is crucial for navigating life's challenges, which have become even more prevalent in today's world. Resilient people accept that suffering is a natural part of life and understand that everyone experiences hardships. They also carefully choose where they focus their attention, managing to change what they can and accept what they cannot. Lastly, they ask themselves if their actions are helping or harming them, a question that can lead to positive growth. Claritin D, with its powerful ingredients, offers fast and effective relief for allergy symptoms and decongestion, allowing individuals to breathe better and live more clarified lives. Meanwhile, Brooks Running's Ghost Sixteen shoes provide lightweight comfort for runners, enhancing their daily runs. The TED Talk from 2019 emphasizes the importance of resilience in dealing with life's adversities, and these strategies can be learned and applied by anyone.

    • Exploring the Power of Mindfulness for ResilienceMindfully considering our thoughts, actions, and decisions can enhance personal growth and resilience. Our internal resources and external environments play significant roles in our resilience, and having a supportive community is essential. Trauma can leave us weaker instead of stronger, and focusing on well-being and seeking help can build resilience.

      Being mindful of whether our thoughts, actions, and decisions are helping or harming us is a powerful tool for personal growth and resilience. This question can be applied to various situations, from pursuing a promotion to recovering from a loss or trauma. The speaker, who has worked in the field of resilience for over a decade, shares how her work gained more recognition after major disasters in her community and the world. She emphasizes that our internal resources and external environments significantly impact our resilience, and having a supportive society and community is crucial. However, she challenges the common notion that trauma makes us stronger, as it can leave us weaker and vulnerable instead. Instead, focusing on our well-being and seeking help when needed can help us build resilience and overcome adversity.

    • Improving resilience through daily habitsQuestioning the value of news notifications, social media use, and other habits can significantly improve mental health during tough times. Personal experiences of taking a break from social media can positively impact mental health, while harmful advice can worsen situations. Focusing on what truly helps us get through challenging times is crucial.

      Focusing on what helps and harms us in our daily lives can significantly improve our resilience, especially during tough times. During the discussion, the importance of questioning the value of news notifications, social media use, and other habits was emphasized. The speaker shared her personal experience of taking a break from Instagram and how it positively impacted her mental health. Additionally, she highlighted how harmful advice, such as being told that tragedy would lead to divorce, mental illness, or family estrangement, can actually worsen the situation rather than offer support. Instead, it's crucial to focus on what truly helps us get through challenging times.

    • Supporting Someone Through Trauma: Acknowledge and ValidateAcknowledge normal reactions, offer emotional and instrumental help, instill hope, develop rituals, and be realistically optimistic.

      It's normal to experience a quick return to normal functioning after a traumatic event, and it's important for those providing support to acknowledge and validate this process. Offering both emotional and instrumental help, as well as instilling hope and belief in the person's ability to recover, can be effective ways to support someone during difficult times. Additionally, developing rituals and habits to remember and memorialize loved ones can help in the healing process. It's important to be realistically optimistic, planning for the worst while hoping for the best, and being pragmatic about the challenges faced. When optimism isn't realistic, it's essential to remain grounded in the reality of the situation while maintaining a positive outlook.

    • Embracing the present and striving for self-improvementLiving in the moment, controlling what we can, and increasing cultural competency through ongoing education and empathy towards others are essential aspects of coping with challenges and becoming better humans.

      Focusing on the present and striving for self-improvement are essential aspects of coping with challenging experiences and becoming a better human. Lucy Hahn, a doctor and expert in human development, emphasizes the importance of living in the moment and controlling what one can. She also shares her personal journey of increasing cultural competency and understanding the history and practices of the indigenous people of New Zealand, the Maori, as a means of dismantling the impact of colonization. This lifelong commitment to learning and growth is a powerful reminder of the importance of ongoing self-improvement and empathy towards others. Additionally, Hahn highlights the significance of seeking knowledge and expertise from others, such as her work with the Institute and Leadership Lab. By intentionally increasing cultural competency and understanding the histories and practices of indigenous communities, individuals and organizations can foster more inclusive and equitable environments. In summary, the conversation with Lucy Hahn underscores the importance of focusing on the present, learning from past experiences, and striving for self-improvement through ongoing education and empathy towards others.

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