Podcast Summary
Keeping romantic or sexual options on the side: Approximately 56% of people in committed relationships have a backburner person, but honesty and transparency are crucial for trust and avoiding emotional pain.
Maintaining backburner relationships, or keeping romantic or sexual options on the side while in a committed relationship, is more common than one might think. According to a survey in Psychology Today, approximately 56% of people in committed relationships reported having a backburner person or relationship. However, the definition of a backburner can vary. If we define it as someone with whom one maintains contact without explicitly stating that there's nothing between them, and the other person is unaware of the relationship status, then the percentage might be more understandable. However, if the engagement is flirtatious and one goes out of their way to hide their relationship status, it may be a form of infidelity or micro-cheating. It's essential to be honest and transparent in relationships to build trust and avoid unnecessary emotional pain.
Maintaining friendships with exes: Complex issue in relationships: Being transparent with current partners about ex-friendships prevents misunderstandings, jealousy, and potential conflicts.
Maintaining close friendships with past romantic partners can be a complex issue in relationships. While it's natural to keep in touch with people we've had meaningful connections with, doing so in a way that's not transparent with our current partners can lead to misunderstandings, jealousy, and potential conflicts. If you've been on a prolonged trip or have spent significant time with an ex without disclosing it to your partner, it's essential to have an open and honest conversation about your actions. Maintaining active friendships with past romantic partners can be a form of self-sabotage, as it can introduce unnecessary tension and conflict into the current relationship. Ultimately, it's essential to consider the reasons for maintaining these friendships and weigh the potential benefits against the potential harm to the current relationship.
Maintaining contact with past relationships hinders current ones: Focusing on present relationship prevents wasting time and energy, allows for growth, and prevents potential harm
Maintaining contact with past relationships through social media or other means can hinder the current relationship from reaching its full potential. The speaker believes that keeping options open denies the current relationship the chance to evolve from a place of true commitment and security. This behavior can be seen as a sign of unwillingness to fully invest in the present situation. The speaker emphasizes that there is no shame in a relationship ending, but it is unfortunate if time and energy were wasted by not fully committing to the relationship while it lasted. Instead of keeping tabs on past relationships, the focus should be on being present and fully invested in the current situation. This not only allows for personal growth and relationship evolution but also prevents unnecessary paranoia and potential harm to all parties involved.
Take action and fully immerse yourself in experiences: To find answers in life, immerse yourself in experiences rather than just intellectualizing things.
To find answers in life, whether it's about your career or relationships, you need to take action and fully immerse yourself in the experience. Sitting and intellectualizing things won't give you the answers you're looking for. If you're considering a career change, try tasting different careers. In a relationship, commit and give it your all to see what it can become. This doesn't mean making hasty decisions, but rather being fully present and engaged. For more guidance on dating and relationships, visit askmh.com and join the Love Life Club for a 14-day free trial. Here, you'll receive coaching from the speaker and be part of an exclusive community working on their confidence and love lives.
