UFYB 150: Compromising: How and When

As you heard last week, women are constantly taking over-responsibility for everything and everyone in their lives- and it's exhausting. What if I told you there’s an antidote that doesn’t require isolating yourself in the woods or becoming a self-centered jerk? Well, you're in luck because in this episode, I explore the solution to over-responsibility: self-responsibility. You’ll learn why self-responsibility is the key to showing up in a way that’s supportive and aligned with your values, and how to begin letting go of the exhausting burden of over-responsibility. 

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/360

Join me for my absolutely brand new and totally free Stop the Spin workshop. It is happening at 12 EST on September 25th where I am going to teach you what over responsibility is, what causes it, and what the the antidote is.

Claim your spot by clicking here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/spin

Society teaches women that we are responsible for everything – from our appearance to others’ emotions, and even outcomes beyond our control. This belief system leads to anxiety, guilt, and shame, creating a constant state of mental and emotional exhaustion – and it's time to put an end to it. Listen in as I break down how over-responsibility manifests in women’s lives, what happens when you subconsciously or consciously believe you’re responsible for everything and everyone, and the long-term consequences of staying stuck in over-responsibility.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/359

As women, we’re taught not to think too highly of ourselves or to believe that we’re "special". Only a select few can be extraordinary, so why try, right? This insidious socialization convinces us to keep playing small- but I'm done shrinking myself, aren't you? In this episode, I share a why embracing your capacity to be extraordinary is key to creating the life you want, and how to step into your own unique version of an extraordinary life -- beyond what history has told us we're "allowed" to do. Let's go!

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/358

What if there was a way to see bigger possibilities for your future, without immediately worrying about how it would be perceived, or what/who might try to stop you?

In a very special all-day workshop, I want you show you exactly how to connect to that “future you” — no crystal ball or “manifestation” required.

Get your ticket here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/future/

If you have a big, ambitious goal- whether it’s becoming a bestselling author or something else entirely- this week's episode is for you.

When my book, Take Back Your Brain, hit the New York Times Bestseller list, most of the other books had been there for weeks, were written by authors with millions of social media followers, or both. So how did I get there? I'm pulling back the curtain this week and teaching you how to adopt the identity and habits you need to achieve whatever big, audacious goal you are working towards right now.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/357

Are you tired of feeling like you have to follow a strict set of rules when it comes to planning your wedding? If so, you NEED to tune in this week.

In this episode, I share how my husband and I created a feminist wedding experience that was authentic, meaningful, and joyful for us and our loved ones. You'll hear tips on how to incorporate feminist principles into every aspect of your wedding planning, from choosing vendors who align with your values to finding creative ways to honor loved ones without succumbing to traditional gender roles. It is so important to stay true to yourself when navigating any patriarchal tradition, and this episode is here to help you do just that!

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/356

Don't miss any of The Love Hacks episodes over on the private podcast feed by opting in here: unfuckyourbrain.com/hacks!

Parenting can be a real trip, right? We spend so much time telling our kids what to do and how to behave. But what happens when they grow up and don't need us to micromanage their lives anymore? It can be tough to let go of that control.

Here's the thing - even as our kids are become more independent, our brains may still hold onto that urge to guide them. In this episode, I dive into why these urges exist and how they affect our relationships with our children and parents. So grab a cup of coffee or tea and let's go!

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/355

As women, we're often placed in prefabricated boxes that come with their own roles and expectations -- also know as the virgin/mother/whore paradigm. But what if you don’t want to be stereotyped into these roles? Is it even possible to just stop giving a shit and live your life the way you want?

In this re-release of one of my favorite interviews I've done in the last year, I sat down with top-rated self-love podcaster and author Mary Jelkovsky on her podcast, Mary’s Cup of Tea, to break down the sexist roles and expectations placed on women. We dive into the virgin-whore dichotomy and the maiden/mother/crone paradigm, explore the constantly shifting expectations women face (including a very spicy discussion about Botox), and discuss how to stop giving a shit about other people’s opinions. Hit play to listen now!

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/354

This episode I dive into more self love, and how you can empower yourself to take more control with your life and your choices. I break down 4 specific hacks and I talk about how to stop putting your happiness in the hands of others.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I posted an instagram post a month ago of 2 photos in my bikini 5 years apart and wrote that I cringed looking at the photos and seeing how far I’ve let myself go, along with the main message of loving yourself. 

There were a lot of comments, but I received a negative DM from a woman who wrote: “you should be ashamed of your last post. you’re the problem for women. You’re degrading yourself and fishing for compliments.”

It takes me a while to thoughtful process things and I want to share my response to her here with you because if I offended you in any way from my post, hopefully this will shed some light here:

She’s right. As women, in general, we do have a problem with belittling ourselves.

Have you ever overheard or been in a group of women having lunch, and one woman starts with “Oh, I’ve gained so much weight.” And then another chimes in, “you’ve gained weight? I’ve gained more weight than you have. I look awful” And then it becomes a competition of who is the fattest and saddest.

Sadly, I’ve been there but it’s not healthy for us to degrade ourselves, because what that does is it gives others permission to do the same. If I think you look good, but you’re judging yourself, then geez, what do I look like? And there goes our itty-bitty-shitty-committee running a rant of how we’re not good enough.

Ladies, we need to stop the group competition for who can criticize themselves the most, because, honestly, it’s lame and you’re so much stronger and better than that.

In a world where we’re taught that thinner is better and being younger is more desirable, it’s hard for us to push through that noise and be stronger than societies expectations. My intention for my post was to inspire women to love themselves, not degrade themselves.

My intention for this post was to let everyone know that it’s okay and completely normal to have any and all feelings.

Feelings come and go, but it’s how we choose to respond to them that matters.

In the past I would’ve been hooked by my inner critic who would obsess about the weight gain. Now, I can look at the photos of how my body has changed, and even though I can still cringe and feel disappointment, I can also then give myself grace.

Because giving ourself grace can be very powerful in shifting how we treat ourselves.

Giving myself grace looks like, instead of looping a negative body story, I can realize that in the past 5 years, I’ve experienced a lot of change: I moved across the country, had to create a life and new career in a new city, got married, had a miscarriage, 2 D&C operations, had a cancer scare where I got my blood drawn every other week for 10 months, then had the darkest moment in my life with my dad passing, where I didn’t know if I wanted to live anymore, and two weeks later, gave birth to our beautiful daughter, and to top it off, we’re all dealing with this pandemic and the grief over loved ones, our health, our businesses, our dreams, our freedom and what we used to count on as stable outlets. Change can trigger a sense of loss. When we’re feeling grief, this is a time for grace and compassion, not judgement and criticism.

So I’ve done the work to be okay with whatever feeling arises, get quiet to be with myself to drop beneath the noise to touch my truth.

And that’s the intention of that post: Be with your feelings, know that anything you feel is okay and normal. And then give yourself a ton of grace and lots of kindness.

As we shift into a new season, things are still shaky and uncertain. We’ve found a new normal, but still can’t see the end outcome, so we’re exhausted fatigued.

Being gentle with yourself right now is a non-negotiable.

Many of us did gain weight, or didn’t live up to our promises of working out every day or journaling every day during quarantine or maybe you didn’t finish the goals you wanted. Grace. Lots of grace my friend! You have a lot on your plate so don’t let the itty-bitty-shitty-committee drag you into a shame spiral. Breathe, be with yourself and extend yourself kindness.

As we transition into fall, where personally, for me it’s a time to cozy up and go inward, I invite you to cozy up to yourself and go inward to generously listen to yourself so you can be with yourself and honor yourself through kindness, humor and compassion to touch your innate warmth, love and strength.

I want to hear from you – what do you think about this discussion? What way do you belittle yourself and what ways can you give yourself grace right now? Also, please post only positive comments that are helpful to us all. We don’t need to judge this woman or any other woman for that matter. We’re all showing up where we are, doing the best we can. Let’s rise up to meet each other and lift each other up.

At the beginning of this pandemic, I said we’re in this together, and we still are. We’ve risen through uncertainty and are still here, and now it’s time to be kinder towards ourselves so we can be kinder towards each other. Together.

If you want to join me, I’ve created the #selfkindnessproject which starts on sept 21st, a free 4-day challenge with self-inquiry prompts and easy mindfulness tools to be kinder and more loving to yourself. This challenge kicks off my self love lab which starts oct 5th. Hope you can join me for any or all of it. Link is in my bio if you’re interested.  www.audreysuttonmills.com 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today, in part one of a two-part series, we discuss letting go of stress, worry, and fear, and breaking through to new levels of awareness and joy in our lives. We explore:

- Finding the antidote for stress, worry, and fear in order to live a courageous life

- Why our desire for too much control over everything in our lives can be damaging

- How we can learn to face our stress and get into stillness and oneness in order to heal

- Understanding what's happening outside of us is because of what's happening inside of us and learning how to change it

- Reclaiming our power, healing the mother wound, and mending the sacred hoop of humanity

Visit: https://voicesofcourage.us/