Podcast Summary
Exploring Care and Community Beyond Communes: Godsey's book highlights the need for prioritizing care and community beyond just economic and social policies, drawing insights from various communal living experiments throughout history.
Kristin Godsey's book "Everyday Utopia" explores the concept of care and community, not just in the context of communes, but also in the broader sense of expanding family networks and sharing resources. Godsey argues that many future positive books focus on economic and social policies to improve lives, but often overlook the importance of addressing the insufficiency of care in private lives. By examining various communal living experiments throughout history, Godsey's book offers insights into constructing living arrangements that prioritize care and community. This includes collective child rearing and sharing resources in a way that benefits the community while being less wasteful. In essence, Godsey's work emphasizes the importance of care and community in creating a more utopian future, rather than just focusing on material goods and economic policies.
The nuclear family is an unusual way of organizing family life, we could live in wider networks of care and support: The book encourages us to question historical and social constructs shaping family life and consider alternative forms for enhanced social connection and support.
The nuclear family structure of a heterosexual monogamous couple raising their own biological or adoptive children in a private home is an unusual and historically contingent way of organizing family life. The book argues that we could be living in wider networks of care and support, sharing resources, and teaching collaboration over competition. However, social constructs such as zoning regulations, religious and political institutions, and historical practices have shaped our perception of the "normal" way to raise a family. The kibbutzim, established in Israel around 1909, serve as an example of collective living and child-rearing. They were communities of Ashkenazi Jews who believed in self-labor and owned all property in common. Despite the benefits of such communal living, many of us continue to live in nuclear families due to historical and social constructs. The book challenges us to question these constructs and consider alternative family forms that could enhance social connection and support.
Kibbutzim's Unique Approach to Child-Rearing: Kibbutzim communities, which promote job rotation, communal dining, and shared resources, have shown that children can thrive in a community of loving, caring adults beyond the nuclear family, despite initial attempts at collective sleeping arrangements not being successful.
The kibbutzim communities in Israel, which started as radically egalitarian societies, are still in existence today, although many have been privatized since the 1980s. These communities, which function like extended families, promote job rotation, communal dining, and shared resources. One unique aspect of kibbutzim is their approach to child-rearing. Initially, children were raised collectively due to the communal labor requirements. However, studies have shown that collective sleeping arrangements were not successful. Instead, dedicated caregivers provided loving and secure care during the day. Over time, as kibbutzim became more affluent, families were allowed to have separate living quarters for their children. The kibbutzim experiment demonstrates that children can thrive in a community of loving, caring adults beyond the nuclear family. However, some Utopian projects have attempted to break the parent-child bond completely, which raises questions about the balance between individual love and communal living.
Expanding the circle of love and care: Recognizing the value of alloparents can lead to better outcomes for children by providing them with a wider network of supportive adults, and can help alleviate jealousy or possessiveness in parents.
Expanding the circle of love and care beyond immediate biological children can be beneficial for both children and parents. This concept challenges the notion that only biological offspring deserve a parent's full attention and love. The idea of considering alloparents, like caregivers or extended family members, as supplemental parents, has a long history and is supported by psychological research. Children can form secure attachments with multiple adults, including parents and alloparents. However, it's important to note that this concept doesn't imply that parents should love their biological children less, but rather, that they should welcome and encourage the love and care of others for their children. This approach can lead to better outcomes for children, as they are exposed to a wider network of supportive adults. Additionally, recognizing the value of alloparents can help alleviate the jealousy or possessiveness some parents may feel towards those who care for their children. Overall, this perspective invites us to broaden our understanding of family and the ways in which love and care can be shared and transmitted across generations and beyond immediate biological ties.
Expanding networks of love and care for children: Societies with less inequality and a stronger social safety net provide a sense of security and happiness for families, reducing fear for children's future thriving.
Creating wider networks of love and care for children goes beyond just the biological family unit. Societies with less inequality and a stronger social safety net can provide a sense of security and happiness for families, reducing the fear that children may not thrive in the future. The decline of communal living experiments like the Kibbutzim in Israel can be attributed to external economic pressures and changing societal preferences, but their fundamental ideas continue to reemerge in new forms. These sustainable ways of living, such as urban intentional communities, reflect a growing interest in alternative, more supportive and equitable ways of raising children and building communities.
Balancing community and privacy in communal living: Successful communal living requires balancing the collective and individual aspects for sustainable and comfortable communities, especially during young adulthood and parenthood.
While the idea of communal living and sharing resources has been explored in various intentional communities throughout history, the challenge lies in balancing the living and productive aspects of these experiments. Many communities have failed due to the pressures of competition and international markets. However, there are successful models like co-housing in Denmark, which balance community and privacy. The normalization of communal living can be seen in the college experience and retirement communities. The most critical periods in life for communal living are during young adulthood and parenthood, where help and support from a community can significantly ease the burden. Ultimately, the key is to find a balance between the collective and individual aspects of living to create sustainable and comfortable communities.
Combating Loneliness through Communal Living: Communal living, rooted in spiritual beliefs or a shared commitment to sustainability, helps reduce loneliness and build stronger social connections. Despite the decline of religious institutions, the benefits of communal living remain effective in addressing feelings of isolation and promoting a sense of belonging and shared purpose.
The trend towards more communal living, whether it be in intentional communities like ecovillages or religious communities, has historically helped reduce feelings of loneliness and increase social connections. These communities, which can range from those focused on sustainable living to those centered around spiritual practices, have often provided a sense of belonging and shared purpose. However, the decline of religious institutions and the secularization of society may be contributing to an increase in loneliness. While secularization itself is not the cause, the ways in which our societies have become more unequal and economically precarious have led to a greater sense of competition and isolation. Communal living, whether rooted in spiritual beliefs or a shared commitment to reducing our carbon footprint, remains an effective solution to combat loneliness and build stronger social connections.
Exploring Alternatives to Individualism and Wealth-Driven Lives: The ecovillage movement emphasizes environmentalism as a spiritual practice and fosters esteem through community living, offering an alternative to individualistic and wealth-driven lives.
Modern life's focus on individualism and wealth can lead to isolation, contradicting our deep human desire for connection and esteem. The ecovillage movement offers an alternative, where environmentalism becomes a spiritual practice and community living fosters esteem through love, care, and equitable societies. Historically, communal living was more common with extended families, and revisiting these experiments could help us reconsider our current societal choices. Ultimately, esteem is a fundamental human desire that doesn't necessarily require wealth or isolation; instead, it can be found in being part of a wider network of love, care, and thriving communities.
The cost of prioritizing individualistic goals and nuclear families: Focusing solely on individualistic goals and nuclear families can lead to isolation, negatively impact mental health, and hinder economic productivity. Rebuilding support systems may be challenging but essential for overall well-being.
As a society, we have made a choice to prioritize individualistic goals and economic development over expanding family networks and support systems. This has led to increased isolation and potential negative effects on our mental health and economic productivity. Research suggests that communities with more extended family networks have lower levels of economic development, but there is a fear that rebuilding these networks could hinder our ability to innovate and realize our professional dreams. However, the current state of our society, with its focus on individualistic goals and nuclear families, makes it incredibly difficult for individuals, especially parents, to maintain extensive support systems and raise families. If we were to prioritize rebuilding these networks, it would require a significant shift in societal values and policies. Ultimately, it's important for us to be aware of the trade-offs we are making and consider the potential consequences on our mental and emotional well-being, as well as our economic productivity.
Exploring Alternative Forms of Kinship and Community: The concept of 'fictive kin' or chosen family and non-traditional family structures like platonic parenting and multi-parenting offer emotional and practical benefits, and our laws need to evolve to accommodate them.
While the traditional family structure has its merits, it's important to explore alternative forms of kinship and community in the modern world. The concept of "fictive kin" or chosen family can provide similar emotional and practical benefits as biological relations. Platonic parenting, multi-parenting, and other non-traditional family structures are becoming more common and are being recognized legally. Our laws around parenting and guardianship are outdated and need to evolve to accommodate these new family forms. Ultimately, the goal should be to create supportive networks that foster strong relationships and shared resources for raising children, regardless of whether they are based on consanguineous or non-consanguineous kinship.
Expanding Nuclear Families through Intentional Relationships: Inviting trusted adults into children's lives can provide stability and support for modern-day parents, but consider potential risks and challenges and seek solutions from wider social safety net or individual choices.
Expanding the traditional nuclear family unit through intentional relationships with other adults can help support parents and children in the challenges of modern-day parenthood. This doesn't necessarily mean creating a large community of co-parents, but rather inviting trusted individuals like godparents, aunts, uncles, or colleagues into the lives of children. The intensity of these bonds can provide a sense of stability and commitment that keeps parents invested in the project of raising their children. However, it's important to consider the potential risks and challenges, such as the possibility of these relationships dissolving. Solutions to support families can come from a wider social safety net, such as publicly funded childcare, or from individual choices to expand networks of care and support. Ultimately, these small changes can have profound impacts on both families and society as a whole.
Societal expectations and scarcity mindset impact romantic relationships: Embrace the idea that love and relationships are not scarce, expand social safety nets and build wider communities to alleviate pressure on romantic relationships.
Our romantic relationships are heavily burdened by societal expectations and the scarcity mindset, making non-monogamous relationships an alternative to explore. The author found that people are most resistant to challenging the idea of finding a soulmate, as romantic partners often fulfill our emotional needs and serve as our primary sources of validation. This dependency can lead to a zero-sum mentality, making it difficult to share romantic partners or expand our networks of love and care. However, by embracing the idea that love and relationships are not scarce objects to be hoarded, we can explore alternative forms of love and connection that are less burdened by societal expectations and economic precarity. The author's research suggests that expanding our social safety nets and building wider communities can alleviate the pressure on romantic relationships, allowing them to be more fulfilling and less transactional.
Balancing Emotional Resources and Time in Communities: Communities that prioritize emotional connections while respecting individual romantic attachments and time limitations foster stability
Love and attention are often seen as boundless resources in communities, with the belief that giving them out will result in receiving them back. However, time and care are indeed limited resources. The commodification of time and the pressure to allocate it efficiently can lead to the devaluation of emotional connections. While some utopian communities have attempted to challenge this mindset, others have faced challenges with romantic and relational dynamics, leading to instability. The key learning is the importance of balancing the sharing of emotional resources with respecting individual romantic attachments and the limitations of time and care. Prohibiting pair bonding may not be a sustainable solution, and societies continue to value primary romantic attachments.
Challenging the Link Between Romantic Relationships and Child-Rearing: Consider alternative ways of living, like expanding social safety nets and creating communities of care, to challenge the historical intertwining of romantic relationships and child-rearing.
Our romantic relationships and child-rearing practices have historically been intertwined, leading to societal structures and resource distribution. However, the author argues that we should challenge this linkage and consider alternative ways of living, such as expanding social safety nets and creating communities of care. Even though building a different future requires significant resources, energy, and time, there have always been individuals and groups who have chosen to live differently, offering examples of alternative ways of being. The author encourages us to imagine and work towards a future where care and exhaustion are not at odds with each other.
Exploring Alternative Societies and Challenging Conventional Thinking: Exploring historical and fictional alternative societies can inspire new ways of thinking about politics and governance, and challenging conventional norms can lead to meaningful progress.
The pursuit of utopia, or perfect societies, may seem unattainable, but the exploration and experimentation with different ideas and practices can lead to meaningful progress and new ways of thinking. This was a recurring theme in the conversation between Kristen Godsey and Ezra Klein. Godsey shared her fascination with historical examples of alternative societies, such as the pirate federation in Madagascar and the anarchist society on the planet Anares in Ursula Le Guin's "The Dispossessed." These thought experiments challenge conventional ways of thinking about politics and governance. Additionally, Godsey highlighted the importance of Joan Wallach Scott's work on gender and the politics of history, which has influenced her own thinking and challenged patriarchal structures. Overall, the conversation emphasized the value of questioning established norms and exploring new possibilities, even if the ultimate goal of utopia may always seem just out of reach. As for book recommendations, Godsey suggested "Pirate Enlightenment" by David Graeber, "The Dispossessed" by Ursula Le Guin, and "Gender and the Politics of History" by Joan Wallach Scott. These books offer unique perspectives on society and governance and challenge readers to think critically about their own beliefs and assumptions.
