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    • California's Mental Health Support and Tech InnovationsEmbrace regret for personal growth, mental health support is crucial, technology offers solutions for travel and financial concerns, and introspection leads to authentic happiness

      While many young people are struggling with their mental health, California is taking steps to address this issue by training certified wellness coaches to help them improve their well-being. Meanwhile, technology and innovation offer solutions for travel and financial concerns. Regret is a common emotion that can cause pain and grief, but it might also hold valuable lessons for personal growth. Instead of avoiding regret, embracing it and learning from past mistakes could lead to a more authentic and happier life. The mind can sometimes deceive us, but understanding its workings can help us make better choices for our overall happiness. Additionally, the text mentions the benefits of the Apple Card, which offers cashback rewards on various purchases, and the potential earning potential of hosting on Airbnb. The speaker also shares personal experiences of regret, particularly regarding relationships and self-expression. Overall, this discussion highlights the importance of mental health support, the convenience of technology, and the potential for personal growth through introspection and self-reflection.

    • Regretting Past Decisions: A Common ExperienceRegret is a common emotion, but focusing on learning from past mistakes and moving forward can lead to personal growth.

      We all face difficult decisions in life and sometimes regret the choices we make. Author and illustrator Liz Fosseline shares her experience of regretting not supporting her mother during a time of need. Decades later, she still feels the weight of that decision. Regrets can be painful, but they can also serve as motivation for personal growth. Liz and her collaborator Molly have made a career out of addressing difficult emotions through their popular Instagram feed and new book, "Big Feelings." Research shows that regret is a common emotion, with over 90% of people reporting having regrets about decisions they've made in their lives. It's important to remember that a regret-free life is an unrealistic goal. Instead, focus on learning from past mistakes and finding ways to move forward. Liz and Molly's work offers practical tips and insights based on scientific research to help individuals navigate a range of negative emotions, including regret.

    • Understanding the Complexity of RegretRegret is a complex emotion that arises from our ability to accept blame, time travel, and counterfactual thinking. While it's natural to wonder about alternate paths, excessive focus on upward counterfactuals can hinder happiness and prevent us from fully enjoying the present.

      Regret is a complex emotion that arises from our ability to accept blame, time travel, and engage in counterfactual thinking. Regret requires us to acknowledge our role in past events and imagine making different decisions. While downward counterfactuals help us appreciate that things could have been worse, upward counterfactuals can make us feel like we've missed out on better opportunities, leading to feelings of dissatisfaction and regret. Even if we have mostly good things in our lives, there will always be alternate paths we didn't take, and it's natural to wonder what could have been. However, focusing too much on upward counterfactuals can hinder our happiness and prevent us from fully enjoying the present. Understanding the nature of regret can help us learn to accept our past choices and focus on making the most of our current situation.

    • Using regrets as a guide to a better lifeRegrets can indicate what truly matters to us and help us live more authentically and healthily. Use them as motivation and growth instead of trying to suppress them.

      While we may be biased towards negative counterfactual thoughts, or "if onlys," it's important not to ignore these feelings but rather use them as valuable information to help us clarify what we truly value and live a better life. Daniel Kahneman argues against the philosophy of no regrets and instead encourages using regrets as a signpost for our ideal self and a means to instruct us on how to live more authentically and healthily. Additionally, researchers suggest that we use negative emotions, including regrets, as a source of motivation and growth rather than trying to banish them completely. Furthermore, becoming a wellness coach or hosting on Airbnb are practical ways to help others and potentially earn extra income.

    • Reflecting on regrets can lead to personal growthRegret can motivate us to bridge the gap between our ideal and actual selves, leading to more authentic and fulfilling lives.

      Experiencing regret and the painful emotions that come with it can help us clarify our values and make better decisions for our future. Our ability to simulate counterfactual situations allows us to imagine different versions of ourselves and the choices we could make. Regret can be a powerful motivator for personal growth and understanding the kind of person we want to be. According to research, paying attention to these simulated better selves can help us make choices that lead to greater happiness. While it's natural to compare ourselves to our ideal and ought selves, recognizing the lessons from our regrets can help us bridge the gap between the two and live more authentic and fulfilling lives.

    • Listening to our ideal selves vs. our ought selvesPrioritizing paths that align with our ideal selves, despite societal or personal obligations, can lead to greater happiness and fulfillment in the long run, while neglecting them can result in deep regrets

      We all have two imaginary versions of ourselves - the ideal self, who represents our dreams and values, and the ought self, who represents our obligations and duties. These two selves can sometimes pull us in different directions, leading to inner conflicts. While it's natural to want to please our bosses and meet societal expectations, research shows that long-term regrets are more likely to stem from ignoring our ideal selves. Ignoring our ideal selves in favor of our ought selves can lead to deep regrets and anguish in the future. Therefore, it's essential to listen to our ideal selves and prioritize the paths that bring us closer to the person we truly want to be. This may not always be the easy or convenient choice, but it's the one that can lead to greater happiness and fulfillment in the long run.

    • Learning from Regrets and Mental Health Support for YouthRegrets can lead to personal growth and transformation when faced directly. California invests in mental health coaches for youth, and Express Employment Professionals offers job search assistance. Past regrets can inspire us to overcome challenges and seek help when needed.

      Embracing our regrets and the pain they cause can lead to personal growth and transformation. According to the Happiness Lab, regrets can serve as valuable learning experiences when we directly face them. Meanwhile, California is addressing the mental health crisis among its youth by training certified wellness coaches to help them build essential skills. On a personal note, the speaker shares her experience of traveling and considering becoming an Airbnb host to earn extra income. Additionally, Express Employment Professionals offers free job search assistance for those looking for employment opportunities. The speaker, Jacob Goldstein, reflects on his past struggles with regret and how he overcame them. Overall, the discussion emphasizes the importance of facing challenges, learning from mistakes, and seeking help when needed.

    • Learning from RegretsRegrets can inspire growth when we acknowledge and address them, whether through making amends for past mistakes or taking action to rectify missed opportunities.

      Regrets, whether they stem from actions we've taken or inactions we've failed to make, can serve as valuable lessons for personal growth if we allow ourselves to feel the associated discomfort and learn from it. Daniel Pink's research on regrets around the world reveals that acknowledging and addressing our regrets, rather than trying to avoid them, is essential for moving forward and leading a more fulfilling life. Action regrets, which involve things we've done, can be addressed by admitting our mistakes, assessing the damage, apologizing, and making amends as best we can. Inaction regrets, on the other hand, involve things we haven't done, and the solution is to take action and do what we've been putting off. Moreover, the consequences of inaction regrets, particularly in our social relationships, can be profound. According to Pink's research, failing to reach out to someone when we have the opportunity can lead to regret and missed connections. Therefore, when faced with the decision to reach out or not, it's essential to remember that the regret of not doing so is often greater than the potential awkwardness of the interaction. In summary, regrets can be a source of motivation and growth if we're willing to confront the discomfort they bring and take action to address them. Whether it's making amends for past mistakes or taking steps to rectify missed opportunities, acknowledging and learning from our regrets can lead to a more satisfying and fulfilling life.

    • Learning from past regrets with self-compassionAcknowledge past mistakes, treat yourself kindly, learn from them, and apply the lessons going forward for personal growth and improved mental well-being

      Dealing with past regrets and mistakes requires a shift in perspective and self-compassion. According to Daniel, acknowledging our errors and treating ourselves with kindness are crucial steps. Using specific words like "what if" instead of "should have" can help us learn from our past and find potential silver linings. Sharing our regrets with others or writing them down can also make us feel better by making them more concrete and beginning the sense-making process. However, it's not enough to just treat ourselves kindly or share our regrets; we must also identify the lessons we can learn and apply them going forward. Liz's experience of processing her regret of not being there for her mother demonstrates the importance of this final step. By courageously facing her regrets and making different choices in the future, she was able to better align her actions with her values. Ultimately, while it may be uncomfortable to confront our past mistakes, doing so with self-compassion and a focus on learning can lead to personal growth and improved mental well-being.

    • Learning from Regrets and Prioritizing Mental HealthRegrets can lead to growth, investing in mental health is crucial, especially for young people, and prioritizing both physical and mental wellness can contribute to overall happiness.

      Instead of avoiding painful emotions like regret, we should view them as opportunities for growth. As Liz's experience shows, not going through with a difficult decision can lead to greater pain in the long run. Daniel Pink encourages us to learn from our regrets and make amends where possible. If we can't change the past, we can find ways to view our regrets as valuable lessons that guide us towards becoming our ideal selves. Additionally, investing in our mental health, especially for young people, is crucial for overall happiness. California is leading the way with a new workforce of certified wellness coaches to help children and youth build vital skills for improved mental health and well-being. Lastly, prioritizing both physical health and mental wellness through experiences like a trip to San Diego can significantly contribute to overall happiness.

    Recent Episodes from The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

    Does the You of Today Hate the You of Tomorrow?

    Does the You of Today Hate the You of Tomorrow?

    We often do things now that will make our lives more difficult or stressful in the future. We spend money, when we should save. We eat junk food, when we should exercise. We agree to commitments, when we should protect our free time. We act so thoughtlessly that it's almost like we hate our future selves. 

    Dr Laurie asks UCLA's Hal Hershfield to help her find the happiness balance between listening to what she wants now, and the preferences she might have in the future. And she steps into an AI time machine to get some happiness advice for herself decades from today. 

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    The Power of Awe... and Where to Find it

    The Power of Awe... and Where to Find it

    Awe reduces stress, helps us forget our minor worries and makes us feel more connected to the people around us. We all need more awe in our lives - but surely it's not that easy to find awesome experiences on your average Tuesday?

    Actor Tony Hale explains how everyday awe helps ease his anxieties, while UC Berkeley's Dacher Keltner shows us how to find awe in music, art, scenery... even in a walk around our block. And Dr Laurie explores the things that give her a sense of awe with the help of Mike Menzel - who built a space telescope that lets us see billions of years into the past.  

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    How to Tame Stress

    How to Tame Stress

    Dr Laurie is stressed, and it's harming her health. Constant worry and stress is bad for our bodies and our minds, but how can we break the cycle and relax? It turns out scientists have learned a lot from one of America's most stressed-out communities - caregivers.  

    Hollywood star Steve Guttenberg talks about the toughest chapter of his life - caring for his dying dad - and Dr Elissa Epel explains why some caregivers suffer badly from stress, while others seem to find ways to live with the awful situation they find themselves in daily.  

    Further reading:

    Steve Guttenberg - Time to Thank: Caregiving for My Hero.

    Dr Elissa Epel - The Stress Prescription: Seven Days to More Joy and Ease

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    How I Stopped Fearing Boredom

    How I Stopped Fearing Boredom

    Dr Laurie HATES boredom! Since childhood she's found it so painful that she'll do anything to avoid being bored. She'll watch crappy TV. She'll find extra work to do. She'll snack. But boredom is actually an incredibly useful tool to boost our happiness and creativity.  

    With the help of leading boredom experts, Dr Laurie learns how to embrace doing nothing and finds that in the midst of tedium our brains can come up with the most amazing breakthrough ideas. 

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    How to Fight Perfectionism

    How to Fight Perfectionism

    Holding yourself to impossibly high standards is self-defeating and makes for a miserable life. Can Dr Laurie Santos find ways to tackle her constant perfectionism so she can perform better and have more fun? 

    She hears from researcher Thomas Curran about a worrying growth in perfectionism in society, and asks "recovering perfectionist" Jordana Confino how to tackle the nagging voice in your head telling you to always push yourself and work harder.  

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    My Personal Struggle to be Happy (Coming June 3)

    My Personal Struggle to be Happy (Coming June 3)

    Sometimes the happiness teacher flunks her own class. In a deeply personal new season, Dr Laurie Santos opens up about the things she really, really struggles with. Things like crippling perfectionism, chronic stress and a paralyzing fear of death. 

    With the help of world-class experts, a Hollywood star and a host of normal people who grapple with the same issues, Dr Laurie will face up to her own happiness demons and try to defeat them. 

    Coming June 3, wherever you get your podcasts. 

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Happiness Through Generosity : Liz Dunn on The TED Interview

    Happiness Through Generosity : Liz Dunn on The TED Interview

    Liz Dunn is a regular guest on The Happiness Lab, but in this extended interview with TED's Chris Anderson she take us on a deep dive into her research. It shows that by increasing our generosity and by giving to others we can significantly boost our own happiness. 

    Listen to more episodes of The TED Interview wherever you get your podcasts.  

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Unlock Your Hidden Potential with Adam Grant and Maya Shankar

    Unlock Your Hidden Potential with Adam Grant and Maya Shankar

    A chance to hear a recent episode of A Slight Change of Plans in which Maya Shankar asks psychologist Adam Grant about his new book "Hidden Potential: The Science of Achieving Greater Things". They talk about how to filter out unhelpful feedback, the benefits of imperfectionism, and why we need to give soft skills more respect. 

    Listen to more episodes of A Slight Change of Plans  wherever you get your podcasts. 

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Five Tips to be Happier at Work (Dr Laurie at SXSW)

    Five Tips to be Happier at Work (Dr Laurie at SXSW)

    Work is a worry. Are we paid enough? Should we be getting promoted quicker? Is artificial intelligence about to replace us all? 

    Speaking at SXSW 2024, Dr Laurie Santos argues that because of all our career woes we often neglect our happiness. She walks through her top five tips for improving our workplace wellbeing - which will not only make us feel better, but might even cause our salaries to rise!  

    Suggested reading from this episode:

    Radical Compassion: Learning to Love Yourself and Your World with the Practice of RAIN by Tara Brach

    Slow Productivity: The Lost Art of Accomplishment Without Burnout by Cal Newport

    Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin Neff

    The Truth About Burnout: How Organizations Cause Personal Stress and What to Do About It by Christina Maslach

    The Business of Friendship by Shasta Nelson

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Tame Those Devices: 10 Tips to Achieve Digital Balance

    Tame Those Devices: 10 Tips to Achieve Digital Balance

    Technology is amazing! We can make video calls, find facts in an instant and watch movies on our phones. We take all this for granted, but have we let our screens and devices take over too much of our lives? 

    To mark Digital Wellness Day on May 3, we hear from Amy Blankson (author and "chief evangelist" at the Digital Wellness Institute) about her ten tips to tame our devices at home and in the workplace. 

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Related Episodes

    Body Shaming & Setting Boundaries w/ Sasha Pieterse

    Body Shaming & Setting Boundaries w/ Sasha Pieterse

    Welcome back, Besties! Have you ever wondered what lies behind the facade, the moments that define us beyond the spotlight? It's a natural curiosity to wonder about the authentic stories that unfold in the quieter corners of our lives. Beyond the glamorous exterior that we often project to the world, there are those raw, unfiltered moments that truly define who we are – the struggles, triumphs, and personal revelations that shape us in profound ways. 

    Today, Violetta welcomes Sasha Pieterse - American actress, singer, and model who gained significant recognition for her role as Alison DiLaurentis on the popular TV series "Pretty Little Liars." 

    The duo dive into an intimate conversation that's all about embracing authenticity, overcoming challenges, and finding strength within ourselves. They offer a rare glimpse into the dynamics of fame and authenticity, the art of gracefully handling criticism, and insights into building trust and finding strength amidst motherhood. Let's celebrate vulnerability, growth, and the power of communication. 


    If you want to be featured on the next episode, send an email to press@daddyissuesla.com or call Violetta at 424-278-4268 and leave an anonymous voicemail!


    What to Listen For:

    • 00:00 Intro
    • 01:44 Most people don’t know about you
    • 04:53 Fulfilling moments in the industry
    • 06:35 When roles rub off on you in real life
    • 11:09 Do you miss Pretty Little Liars?
    • 13:16 Starting young in the industry
    • 15:58 Advice for your younger self?
    • 16:44 How do you handle criticism
    • 19:52 Diagnosed with PCOS
    • 26:59 Every woman had different needs
    • 30:48 Have people around you can trust
    • 31:57 Physically and mentally stronger as a mother
    • 36:13 You can’t be another person
    • 39:57 Your purpose should be what you love doing
    • 44:00 Remember people as a whole, not just the positives
    • 47:37 Talking is important even when it’s not fun 


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    Produced by Dear Media

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    Nova Kooks - A Season Finale Episode

    Nova Kooks - A Season Finale Episode

    This episode is the last one for the season. We've grown as surfers and as podcasters. In this episode we discuss our growth, goals and share our feelings of things we wish we included in this season. Let us know your thoughts, goals and things we should include for next season. Contact us through instagram: @novakooks or email: novakooks@gmail.com.

    Thanks for joining us in this endeavour and tune in for next season, beginning next month!