divorce angel

The main reason why most of us are afraid of being alone is that we will have to spend time with our thoughts, and in addition, we will have to face our demons. We rarely realize that being alone is also an opportunity to learn to love ourselves, be aware of what we want and need in our lives and build boundaries based on that. When we do that, we will be better positioned to start a new relationship and in peace, if we decide to stay alone.

Tune in and find out what are the benefits of daring the be alone.

Let's get into it:

Timestamps

Why we need to learn to live without guilt [00:03:00] 

What happens when we decide to be alone [00:06:00] 

How I learned to face my demons [00:09:00] 

Why finding self-love is essential [00:12:00]

The importance of changing our mindset to redirect our thoughts [00:15:00] 

Links

Book: Kamal Ravikant - Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It 

15-Minute Clarity Call

https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk

My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce

https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/

Join my Free Facebook Group here:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/

Divorce Roadmap Session:

https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The way we respond to what happens to us depends on how we were moulded to be. The tools we have available are either the ones we got from our parents or those we picked up along the way. But what if those tools are not the ones we need to be who we really are meant to be? How can we build something that can't be made with the tools we have? 

In this episode, we will understand who we are, why we behave the way we do, and the best way of changing that and rediscovering who we are meant to be. 

Let's get into it:

Timestamps

How we start getting moulded in our childhood [00:03:00]

We get to colour our book with the pencils we were given [00:06:00] 

What makes us feel complete [00:09:00] 

Realizing that we must stop repeating our habits [00:12:00] 

Wearing the brightest clothes [00:15:00] 

We must stop telling ourselves we are not good enough [00:18:00] 

Links

15-Minute Clarity Call

https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk

My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce

https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/

Join my Free Facebook Group here:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/

Divorce Roadmap Session:

https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It might happen that our ex-spouse did or said something that hurt us, and even after some time, we can't get over it. And we might even be in our right of feeling wounded but, if we don't let it go and learn to forgive, we'll stay trapped in anger or resentment. The thing is, whatever we think or feel about others is a reflection of how we think of ourselves. That is why it is massively important to learn to like ourselves. 

In this episode, we will talk about the secret of becoming lovable again, letting go of what is hurting us, and learning to like ourselves. 

Let's get into it:

My experience living in a place of bitterness and anguish [00:03:00] 

What happens when we stop trusting ourselves [00:06:00] 

Why we shouldn't worry about filling somebody else's expectations about us [00:09:00]

The importance of controlling the negative narrative in our heads [00:10:00]

Links

15-Minute Clarity Call

https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk

My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce

https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/

Join my Free Facebook Group here:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/

Divorce Roadmap Session:

https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The kind of person we are today is in part thanks to how we deal with our problems and concerns. Being worried, fearful, or even hurt for extended periods changes us. When we try to hide them, ignore them, or shut them down watching Netflix, that is a momentaneous solution, but not definitive.  

In today's episode, I want to talk about what it means to carry negative emotions, and I will show you a flawless technique to help you let go of negative emotions. 

Let's get into it:

Timestamps

When we have a blockage [00:03:00] 

What does it feel like to have negative emotions [00:06:00] 

The reservoir of feelings and beliefs we carry around [00:09:00] 

External factors that affect us [00:12:00] 

How changing the context will help us [00:16:00] 

Being grateful is the key [00:19:00] 

Links 

15-Minute Clarity Call

https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk

My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce

https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/

Join my Free Facebook Group here:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/

Divorce Roadmap Session:

https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The effect of getting a divorce goes further than your family. It affects the entire circle of affection that surrounds you. This includes the extended family and your friends. At some point, you will start wondering what to say to them, how they will take it, what they will think about you, and your spouse. 

Even when this concern is common and legitimate, your primary focus should be your mental and emotional health, and your kids', if you have them. Tune in and find out what should you say to your friends about your separation.

Let's get into it

Timestamps

What should you say to others about your separation? [00:03:00] 

What people think when we communicate them about our separation [00:06:00]

We cannot control what other people say or think [00:09:00]

Explaining our decision [00:12:00] 

Asking ourselves what we want to share and what not [00:15:00] 

Links 

15-Minute Clarity Call

https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk

My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce

https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/

Join my Free Facebook Group here:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/

Divorce Roadmap Session:

https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I've decided to do something special for this and the next week's podcast. It's a sample of Restore ME, a program I've put together to help people get out of the baggage that their relationship had allowed them to transfer into their next life. This week's snippet of the program is about the stories we tell ourselves and how they affect our present and our future. 

Whatever you have in life is a direct result of your stories, and I can explain how and why.

Let's get into it:

Timestamps

Getting rid of the crap from previous relationships [00:02:00] 

A lightbulb moment [00:04:00] 

Repeating a story in our heads [00:06:00] 

The result of the stories we tell ourselves [00:09:00] 

Changing our stories [00:11:00] 

Feeling trapped in our stories [00:13:00] 

The things that make us angry [00:15:00] 

Links

15-Minute Clarity Call

https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk

My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce

https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/

Join my Free Facebook Group here:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/

Divorce Roadmap Session:

https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When we are dealing with divorces and the legal system, justice and fairness are not necessarily related. In some cases, especially those where abuse is involved, the judge's sentence could look like a mockery to the victim of that abuse. The point is that when we are going through the division of assets or calculating spousal support, the court won't ask who hurt who the most. In this episode, I want to share my clients' and my experience in court, and explain what I mean when I say 'the court doesn't care'. 

Let's get into it:

Timestamps

What we'll get in compensation for what we suffered [00:01:00] 

What are judges and lawyers worried about [00:03:00] 

The things we go through when divorcing [00:05:00] 

When no one can help us [00:06:00] 

Living according to fairness [00:07:00]

Links

15-Minute Clarity Call

https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk

My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce

https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/

Join my Free Facebook Group here:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/

Divorce Roadmap Session:

https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When we were kids, our parents would tell us to do things not because we wanted, but because we were supposed to. They taught us to be aware of the other's feelings, and that might be the reason why we continuously seek for approval. There is nothing wrong with being mindful of the otherness of who is next to us; the problem starts when others' opinions affect our well-being. In this episode, I'll explain why caring what others think can be a deep black hole.

Let's get into it:

Timestamps

The way we grow putting others in front of us [00:01:00] 

People you might need to declutter [00:03:00] 

When our friends show their true colours [00:05:00] 

The unexpected best friends [00:07:00] 

Getting separated from the extended family [00:09:00] 

Losing more than just friends [00:11:00] 

You can still get along with your ex's family [00:13:00] 

Links 

Episode #88 - Declutter Your Life With A Happy Divorce 

https://tanyasomerton.com/declutter-your-life-with-a-happy-divorce/

My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce

https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/

Join my Free Facebook Group here:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/

Divorce Roadmap Session:

https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It can happen in our relationships; we think we are free, but we are not. Perhaps we are not physically held by someone or something, yet still we are not supposed to or allowed to say or think certain things. Freedom is a key that opens infinite doors; it stimulates our creativity. We are free when we can chase our happiness. However, we might have to pay a price for it, and this is how the question that names today's episode arises, how much are you prepared to pay for freedom?

Let's get into it:

Timestamps

Do you have freedom in your life? [00:01:00] 

Be in control or controlled [00:03:00] 

A shiver in my spine [00:05:00] 

The reason why people have controlling behaviours [00:07:00] 

The cost to pay for freedom [00:09:00] 

For every action, there is a reaction [00:11:00] 

The value I offer my clients [00:13:00] 

Striving for freedom [00:15:00] 

The greatest gift I've given myself [00:17:00] 

Links 

15-Minute Clarity Call

https://msgsndr.com/widget/booking?calendar=kcpWfO0ij7Aq2u4TzFEk

My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce

https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/

Join my Free Facebook Group here:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/

Divorce Roadmap Session:

https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From what I've witnessed dealing with hundreds of divorces as a Divorce Angel, I believe that if there is someone to blame for divorce being so hard, it is ourselves. The critical element here is emotions; we make divorce so hard because of them. It is our emotions that will affect our decision-making process directly. Our feelings will probably force us into a wrong choice, and we might end up in a disadvantaged position if we follow them. In this episode, I would like to raise some questions to understand why does divorce have to be so hard? 

Let's get into it:

Timestamps

The demons we face during our divorce [00:02:30]

Taking away the emotions [00:04:30]

One of the reasons why divorce is so hard [00:07:00]

The emotional cost [00:08:30]

We know how to speak, but not all know how to communicate [00:10:00]

How we build our identity [00:12:00]

What is your identity? [00:14:00]

Links 

My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce

https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/

Join my Free Facebook Group here:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/

Divorce Roadmap Session:

https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Regardless of the kind of marriage you had, a divorce can take you to dark, cold places. Even if it looks like you will stay in these places forever, you won't. Life, like everything on this planet, has its seasons. And every season is followed by the next one to maintain balance and keep the cycle of life flowing smoothly. So if right now you feel like your life looks a lot like a harsh winter, relax, spring is just one season away.

Let's get into it

Timestamps

Life's seasons [00:01:00]

Knowing where are we going [00:04:30]

Why are you here? How did you get here? [00:06:00]

An opportunity to learn valuable lessons [00:07:30]

The things that matter in life [00:09:00]

You may need to hear this right NOW [00:10:30]

The way we talk to ourselves [00:12:00]

Links

My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce

https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/

Join my Free Facebook Group here:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/

Divorce Roadmap Session:

https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Being stuck in life is not always the consequence of not having a choice. When we decide to stay where we are because we are afraid of what we might find out there, we are choosing to live in fear. The unknown is not necessarily a synonym of danger; it can be a new, rewarding life. So when we decide to stay where we are, what is the reward we are getting by living in fear?

Timestamps

Future might look scary [00:02:00]

Ask yourself this question [00:03:00]

What drove humankind so far [00:05:20]

If I could, you can [00:09:00]

What inspired me so far [00:11:10]

Be brave for 5 minutes longer [00:13:00]

Fail your way to success [00:15:00]

Take action, any action [00:18:00]

Links 

Divorce Angel’s blog

https://tanyasomerton.com/the-best-way-to-overcome-fear/

5 Steps To A Seamless Divorce

https://divorceangel.vipmembervault.com/products/courses/view/1008392

My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce

https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/

Join my Free Facebook Group here:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/

Divorce Roadmap Session:

https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dealing with divorce might pull the darkest thoughts out of our minds. The result of being under so much pressure and stress could lead us to flirt with extreme ideas. Bad decisions, lousy counselling or even an honest mistake of a lawyer could make us feel that divorce has broken our spirit.

In this episode of the Divorce Angel Podcast, I share with you my best tips to avoid falling into this place. 

Let's get into it

Timestamps

We are dealing with a broken system [00:02:00]

How men and women detect red flags [00:04:00]

Why divorce take some men by surprise [00:06:00]

A goldmine for lawyers [00:08:00] 

Divorce Angel and the 80-20 rule [00:09:30]

How divorce can break someone's spirit [00:10:30]

Links:

My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce

https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/

Join my Free Facebook Group here:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/

Divorce Roadmap Session:

https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Reaching awareness in life is as challenging as crucial. The hard part is acknowledging our mistakes and flaws - the lack of integrity towards ourselves. The benefits on the other hand are infinite. Awareness is the most liberating feeling you ever have in your life. When you are aware of what's going on, you can act responsibly. Walk with me through this episode, and I will share with you the benefits of being aware during and after a divorce process. 

Let's get into it

Timestamps

Why we don't want to reach awareness? [00:01:20] 

Awareness and our values at stake. [00:02:00]

Facing our lack of integrity. [00:05:00] 

Being aware of our issues. [00:06:30]

The way we do something, we do everything. [00:07:40]

Awareness is being in charge. [00:10:30]

What is it that you are not aware that you could change?  [00:12:00]

Where are you not aware of your responsibility? [00:14:00]

You are the person who decides where your life goes. [00:16:00]

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

To be balanced, the universe needs to give back the energy it receives. It sends back what we send to it. What we do to other people, what we say to other people, every action we take creates an energy that will sooner or later, return to us like a boomerang. This is why we should be careful about what we send out. 

In this episode of the Divorce Angel podcast, I share with you the tips I followed to reach inner peace and well-being.

Let's get into it:

Timestamps

What's happening to you is producing a vibration through your life. [00:01:20]

I used to retaliate. I used to be triggered. [00:02:30]

I don't do it anymore. I'm not doing it again. [00:04:00]

Don't let anyone take your inner peace. [00:05:30]

Sometimes you need to move on. [00:07:00]

The importance of taking care of our well-being. [00:09:00]

One of the tools I used to reach inner peace. [00:10:20]

You already have what you need. [00:12:00]

Links:

My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce

https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/

Join my Free Facebook Group here:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/

Divorce Roadmap Session:

https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Even when we are fully aware of the fact that Valentine's Day "use" love to generate a 'profit margin', we cannot avoid feeling affected by it during our separation. Love is in the air wherever we look. It is all over the internet, the radio, the T.V and in all the stores you visit. It's there right in your face. This leads you to think one thing: How can I survive through this?

On this very special podcast, I want to share with you my best tips to keep your mental and emotional health intact.

Let's get into it:

Timestamps

Our secret Valentine and the void we want to fulfil. [00:01:00]

What do you need to be happy? [00:02:40]

A little bit of history over Valentine's Day. [00:04:30]

Feelings amplify at this time of the year. [00:07:15]

First tip: Stay away from Social Media. [00:08:40]

Second tip: Praise yourself. [00:10:30]

Third tip: Have some quality time with family and friends. [00:12:00]

Fourth tip: Get lost in a book. [00:13:00]

Fifth tip: Putting together a 90-days plan. [00:15:50]

Bonus tip: Momentum is key. [00:17:00]

Links:

My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce

https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/

Join my Free Facebook Group here:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/

Divorce Roadmap Session:

https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Being scared of the unknown is considered by science the fundamental fear. What triggers this fear, is the absence of information. For instance, the outcome of a decision we might make. This fear will keep us trapped in either an uncomfortable or unhealthy relationship. 

In this episode of the Divorce Angel Podcast, we talk about how dangerous it is to be a hostage of the "FEAR of the unknown", and how important it is to conquer it. 

Let's get into it:

Timestamps

The importance of putting a structure together. [00:01:00] 

What makes our minds decide to stay. [00:02:41] 

Do not live in unhappiness because those are the cards you have. [00:03:30] 

What you have will not define your happiness. [00:06:00]

There is a lot of life-changing knowledge we are not aware of their existence. [00:08:00]

Secret or hidden should not be scary but exciting. [00:10:00]

Do not be scared of losing everything. You can always start again. [00:12:00]

The unknown can be fulfilling. [00:13:00]

Links:

My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce

https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/

Join my Free Facebook Group here:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/

Divorce Roadmap Session:

https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Marriage may be affected by things that mostly we can't control. They will appear, and we will have to learn how to deal with them. What we can manage, however, is our reaction to these unexpected events. 

We are the reflection of how we deal with the issues surrounding our marriage. Even during divorce, if we handle it with love and kindness, that is what we will get back. We are a reflection of our relationships. To see how we show up in life, we need to look at how we show up in our relationships. In this episode, we talk about the details we should observe to improve the way we show up in life. 

Let’s get into it:

Timestamps:

How did I used to show up in life [00:02:45]

Are you lying to yourself? [00:04:30]

My clients' light bulb momment[00:06:30]

If you don't trust your partner, do you trust yourself? [00:07:10]

Always give a 100% [00:10:00] 

The BE-DO-HAVE model [00:12:00]

Showing love and kindness during divorce [00:13:20]

The nuts and bolts case [00:15:45]

My mission on this job. [00:16:30]

Links:

My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce

https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/

Join my Free Facebook Group here:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/

Divorce Roadmap Session:

https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Statistics show that people in unhappy marriages are more likely to get divorced or separated in December and January. If we collect Google data, we will see an increase in inquiries about divorce from November to January compared to the rest of the year. Why?

Christmas and New Year's eve are dates that tend to put our lives in perspective and is usually at this time of the year when we decide to make a change. Still, the decisions we make are nuanced by a set of factors.

• We do not want to ruin our kid's Christmas
• The financial strain 
• Happiness through someone vs self-induced happiness 

In this episode, we walk the road of the tough decisions to be made during this sensitive time of the year. 

Let’s get into it:

Timestamps:

Divorce does not need to be terrible[00:03:00]

Are you 100% comfortable and certain about your decision? [00:04:30]

My reason to get a divorce[00:06:20]

The biggest mistake we can make [00:07:00]

Statistics about the end of the year [00:09:50]

The children issue [00:11:30]

Staying year after year in unhappiness [00:12:30]

My job, my purpose [00:14:00]

Holidays and bad decisions. [00:16:00]

Links:

My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce

https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/

Join my Free Facebook Group here:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/

Divorce Roadmap Session:

https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

There are so many aspects to look after when you are going throw a divorce. You can easily neglect one or two. When you look at the to-do list it can be overwhelming and usually you can not handle everything by yourself and this is why you ask for help. The tricky part here is, we tend to focus on what we 'think' we can handle and may only ask for a piece of advice on what looks complicated to us from the wrong set of people. When this happens you end up asking someone to do something that they are actually not qualified to do or do not specialize in. Even with good intentions, a lawyer or a solicitor can provoke critical financial damage to us as its not really within their scope to advice. 

This episode is all about the details we should consider to make the right choice on behalf of our financial future. We talk about the questions we need to ask ourselves to avoid costly mistakes and financial risks that will harm us. 

Timestamps:

Where and how I have started my journey through divorce.[00:02:00]

Sink or swim. [00:03:00]

One of the biggest mistakes all of us make.[00:05:00]

What if self-doubt hit us?[00:07:00]

The mistakes lawyers can make that will affect us. [00:09:00]

The right questions to ask yourself about assets. [00:12:00]

Why we do a Divorce Roadmap. [00:13:00]

Links:

Online Course - 4 Simple Steps to Financial Security – Guaranteed:

https://tanyasomerton.com/4-simple-steps-to-financial-security-guaranteed/ 

My book: The Jelly Bean Jar - Empowering Independence through Divorce

https://tanyasomerton.com/shop/the-jelly-bean-jar/

Join my Free Facebook Group here:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorceangel/

Divorce Roadmap Session:

https://tanyasomerton.com/divorce-roadmap/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.