Podcast Summary
Long-term happiness vs temporary emotions: Long-term happiness comes from living a fulfilling life that aligns with our values and goals, even if it means enduring challenges and hard work, rather than relying solely on temporary emotions of happiness.
True happiness in life isn't always about feeling happy in the moment. While temporary emotions of happiness, like those experienced during special events or achievements, are important, they don't necessarily contribute to long-term satisfaction and contentment. Instead, focusing on living a fulfilling life that aligns with our values and goals, even if it means enduring challenges and hard work, is crucial for avoiding regrets when we look back on our lives. This concept was exemplified by Lily's experience during her book launch, which brought her joy in the long run despite the hardships and exhaustion involved. Remember, it's essential to prioritize both small and big h happiness, as both contribute to a well-rounded and satisfying life.
Motivation behind thought work: Motivation shapes our experience with thought work, using it to empower ourselves to create happiness or to accept an unsatisfying life can have different outcomes.
While our thoughts play a significant role in creating happiness and satisfaction in life, it's essential to consider the motivation behind using thought work. It's empowering to learn to create happiness with our minds because we desire to experience joy wherever we are, rather than feeling resigned to our circumstances. However, it's crucial not to use thought work as a means of accepting an unsatisfying life out of a belief that we can't have more or don't deserve better. The motivation behind our thought work shapes our experience, with the former feeling powerful and free, and the latter feeling meek and resigned. Ultimately, we should strive to create the life we truly want, and thought work can help us do so, but we don't need anyone's approval or justification to pursue our desires.
Seeking fulfillment and growth: To create a sense of big picture happiness, go for what truly brings us fulfillment and growth, even if it's scary or uncomfortable, with self-kindness and confidence.
While managing our thoughts to find contentment and satisfaction with our past choices is important, it's equally crucial to consider what truly brings us fulfillment and growth in life. We may be socialized to focus on small, incremental happiness and avoid taking risks, but to create a sense of big picture happiness, we need to go for what we truly want, even if it's scary or uncomfortable. Self-kindness is essential in this process, as it allows us to build the confidence we need to pursue our goals. Confidence doesn't come from believing we're perfect or invincible, but rather from being kind to ourselves and taking steps towards our dreams, despite any fear or self-doubt.
Self-perception and risk-taking: True confidence comes from feeling safe enough with ourselves to allow for the possibility of failure, rather than believing in definite success.
Our perception of ourselves and our ability to take risks are closely linked to how we handle the possibility of failure. According to the speaker, true confidence doesn't come from believing we'll definitely succeed, but rather from feeling safe enough with ourselves to allow for the possibility of failure. She emphasizes that the fear of rejection or failure often stems from our thoughts about ourselves, and that this fear can prevent us from pursuing what we truly want in life. Her book, "Take Back Your Brain," offers concrete and actionable insights into why our brains function the way they do and provides tools to help change limiting beliefs and patterns. The book goes deeper than the podcast and offers new concepts and exercises to help readers understand themselves better and take risks with confidence.
Mindset towards failure: Viewing failures as opportunities for growth and embracing them as part of the journey towards happiness and fulfillment is essential for building self-confidence and taking risks to pursue our goals
Our mindset towards failure plays a significant role in how we perceive and respond to it. If we view failures as opportunities to be brave, creative, and on the path to our goals, rather than as evidence of our inadequacy or unworthiness, we can build the self-safety needed to take risks and pursue the life we desire. This may involve challenging societal expectations or aligning our goals with them, but ultimately, it requires us to reframe failure and embrace it as part of the journey towards happiness and fulfillment. Remember, every setback is an opportunity to learn and grow, and our response to it is within our control.
Inner dialogue: Changing the way we speak to ourselves when we fail can help build safety and confidence, enabling emotional risk-taking and the creation of a desired life.
Creating the life you truly want requires emotional risk-taking, which in turn necessitates building safety and confidence within oneself. This can be achieved by changing the way we speak to ourselves when we fail. Our inner dialogue significantly impacts our ability to take risks and make bold choices. Confidence to take risks is crucial for achieving the desired life and overall happiness. The Feminist Self Help Society, a community and classroom at www.unfuckyourbrain.com/forward/society, offers individual help and resources to better apply these concepts and build the necessary safety and confidence.