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    Brian Chesky ON: The Crisis of Disconnection and Loneliness & How to Tap Into Your Creative Potential

    enSeptember 11, 2023
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    Podcast Summary

    • Fulfillment through Connection and ContributionTrue happiness and fulfillment can be found by creating meaningful connections and contributing to the well-being of others, rather than solely focusing on personal success.

      Brian Chesky, the CEO of Airbnb, highlights the importance of finding fulfillment beyond personal success. He emphasizes that while he started his journey with the goal of achieving success, he realized that happiness lies in creating and connecting with others. Brian's motivation shifted from self-centric aspirations to contributing to the well-being of others. He believes that leadership comes in various forms and that creative individuals can successfully run large companies. Brian's happiness now stems from working with like-minded individuals and being able to choose the people he surrounds himself with. He finds joy in sharing his experiences and allowing others to benefit from what he has achieved.

    • Rethinking Success: Personal Fulfillment over ValidationSuccess should be measured by personal fulfillment and not external validation. It's important to prioritize self-discovery, self-awareness, and addressing our flaws and vulnerabilities. Open communication and shared vision are crucial for successful partnerships.

      Success should be about personal fulfillment rather than external validation. Brian Chesky shares that he realized success is not about status or accomplishments, but rather doing things he loves with people he cares about. Jay Shetty adds that in our pursuit of success, we often neglect the inward journey of self-discovery and introspection. Brian Chesky emphasizes that personal growth and self-awareness are essential during the entrepreneurial journey. Success has a way of magnifying our strengths and weaknesses, highlighting the importance of addressing our flaws and vulnerabilities. Additionally, Brian Chesky mentions that building a successful venture with friends is not without its challenges, but open communication and a shared vision can help sustain and strengthen the bond between co-founders.

    • The Importance of Friendship and Shared Values in Building a Successful CompanyBuilding a successful company requires strong friendships, shared values, complementary skills, and a common goal, which fosters a positive company culture and harmonious work environment.

      Building a successful company requires more than just a good idea or being at the right place and time. It is crucial to have a strong foundation of friendship, mutual respect, and shared values with your co-founders. Brian Chesky emphasizes the importance of starting a company with friends or people you can see yourself becoming friends with, as you will spend a significant amount of time with them. He also highlights the need for complementary skills and a common goal, ensuring that everyone is climbing the same mountain. Additionally, maintaining a strong bond and inclusivity among the founders creates a positive company culture that will influence employees and foster a harmonious work environment.

    • The Power of Relationships and Believing in OthersBuilding strong relationships and surrounding oneself with supportive friends and colleagues who believe in one's potential is crucial for personal and professional growth. By valuing relationships and seeing the potential in others, individuals can achieve success and make a positive impact on the world.

      Building strong and meaningful relationships is crucial for personal and professional growth. Brian Chesky emphasizes the importance of surrounding oneself with supportive friends and colleagues who believe in one's potential, even when they don't see it themselves. These relationships provide energy, hold negative tendencies in check, and inspire creative ambitions. Chesky believes that people are fundamentally good, despite the abundance of negative news in the media. He discovered that people are willing to share their homes and create positive experiences through Airbnb. By valuing relationships and seeing the potential in others, individuals can achieve success and make a positive impact on the world.

    • Embrace Similarities, Embrace DiversityRecognizing our similarities and embracing diversity is crucial for fostering empathy, understanding, and combating loneliness in today's digitally connected yet disconnected world.

      People are basically good and 99% the same. Brian Chesky highlights the importance of recognizing our similarities and embracing diversity, rather than focusing on differences. He emphasizes that hating someone else means hating ourselves, as it reflects a lack of empathy and understanding. Chesky also points out the negative impact of digital connectivity, which can lead to a sense of disconnection and confusion about others' perspectives. Both Chesky and Jay Shetty discuss the increasing problem of loneliness in today's world, where individuals may be surrounded by others but still feel misunderstood. Chesky shares his own experiences of loneliness and how it has driven him throughout his life, ultimately shaping his journey.

    • The Need to Belong and Overcoming Loneliness in Today's SocietySuccess does not guarantee fulfillment or meaningful relationships outside of work. True satisfaction and happiness come from forming genuine connections and nurturing personal relationships.

      The need to belong is deeply ingrained in human nature. We have a natural inclination to be part of a community or tribe, and not belonging in the past could have meant isolation and even death. However, in today's society, we are facing one of the loneliest times in human history. Brian Chesky, the tech founder, shares his experience of finding a sense of belonging with his co-founders and employees, forming deep connections akin to family and friends. However, as he grew in his role as CEO, he experienced a sense of loneliness and isolation, realizing that success does not automatically bring fulfillment or meaningful relationships outside of work. This conversation highlights the importance of maintaining and nurturing personal relationships, even amidst professional success. Loneliness can persist even at the top, and true fulfillment comes from genuine connections with others.

    • The Power of Relationships in Personal Well-being and Leadership SuccessMaintaining deep connections with others is crucial for personal satisfaction and effectiveness as a leader. Prioritizing face-to-face interactions and shared experiences promotes trust, empathy, resilience, and better decision-making abilities.

      Maintaining deep connections and relationships with others is essential for personal well-being and leadership success. Brian Chesky shares his experience of feeling isolated and lonely despite being surrounded by people, but it was through rekindling old friendships and developing new ones that he found greater life satisfaction. He emphasizes the importance of shared experiences and face-to-face interactions rather than relying solely on technology for communication. Chesky's mentor, Barack Obama, also highlights the significance of maintaining relationships for staying grounded and making better decisions. Loneliness can negatively impact trust, empathy, resilience, and decision-making abilities, which is why it is crucial for individuals and leaders to prioritize and nurture meaningful connections with others.

    • The Loneliness Epidemic: Connecting Through AirbnbLoneliness affects people of all ages and can have severe consequences on mental and physical health. Airbnb aims to combat this crisis by fostering connections and creating a community of trust and meaningful interactions.

      Loneliness is a significant crisis of disconnection in society. Brian Chesky realizes that loneliness is not just something experienced by older generations, but also affects young people, leading to mental health issues. He learns from Dr. VE Murphy that chronic loneliness is even worse for health than smoking cigarettes and can shorten one's life by 15 years. This crisis extends to various demographics, including teenagers, men and boys, and seniors. Chesky recognizes that modern life, with its emphasis on technology and digital interactions, is contributing to this loneliness epidemic. To address this issue, he believes that Airbnb can evolve from a travel service to a travel community, fostering connections and combating loneliness through trust and meaningful interactions.

    • The Fulfillment of Solving Problems and Making Meaningful ConnectionsSuccess in business comes from solving problems, making connections, and working with people you love. Find fulfillment by giving and approaching work with gratitude. Focus on intrinsic motivation and doing your best.

      Success in business is not solely about making money, but about solving problems and creating meaningful connections. Brian Chesky emphasizes the importance of solving his own problem and then sharing it with others, as this brings him fulfillment. He encourages the audience to not discard their past experiences, but instead collect and integrate them, recognizing that they can be additive to future endeavors. Chesky believes that working with people you love and approaching work with a sense of gratitude and giving leads to a more fulfilling experience. He emphasizes the power of giving and how it not only helps others but also brings a sense of love and connection in return. Ultimately, his motivation has shifted from extrinsic factors to intrinsic factors, with a focus on doing the best and giving to others.

    • The Power of Balancing Creativity and Data in the Corporate WorldSuccess in the corporate world requires a balance between creativity and data, along with self-awareness and embracing discomfort, in order to make a positive impact and achieve true success.

      A balanced approach combining creativity and data-driven decision-making is essential for solving the biggest problems in the corporate world. Brian Chesky emphasizes the importance of maintaining the initial love and intuition that drives startups, even as they grow and gather more data. He argues for the inclusion of artists and scientists, head and heart, in executive teams, boards, and Fortune 500 companies. Chesky sees Airbnb as a design-driven company, an ongoing project that strives to embody a sense of spirit and community. Jay Shetty adds that solitude and self-reflection are necessary for connecting with oneself and others on a deeper level. Both speakers stress the need to face and embrace discomfort and darkness in order to uncover hidden treasure. In summary, a combination of creativity, data, self-awareness, and embracing discomfort is crucial in achieving success and making a positive impact.

    • Embracing diversity and cross-pollination for creative breakthroughsCombining diverse perspectives and experiences, seeking guidance outside of one's field, and fostering random connections can fuel creativity and lead to innovative solutions.

      Creativity and innovation thrive when diverse perspectives and experiences are combined. Mark Zuckerberg's experience of seeking guidance from Steve Jobs, a tech entrepreneur, and receiving advice to go live in an ashram in India ultimately led him to clarify the direction of Facebook. This highlights the importance of cross-pollination between different fields and breaking out of echo chambers. A study by MIT also found that the most innovative employees in organizations were those with uncorrelated networks, suggesting the value of having random connections. Brian Chesky further emphasizes the significance of connecting dots and bringing together disparate experiences to foster creativity. Curiosity, openness, and a multidisciplinary approach are key factors in fueling imagination and finding novel solutions.

    • The Power of Diverse Experiences and Openness to OpportunityOur experiences shape us in unexpected ways, and we should explore different areas, be open to new opportunities, and not limit ourselves based on societal expectations or preconceived notions of success.

      Our experiences and the diverse paths we take in life can shape us in unexpected ways. Brian Chesky emphasizes the importance of exploring different areas and being open to new opportunities. He shares how his various experiences, such as attending military school, design school, and playing team sports, have influenced his organizational skills, creativity, and understanding of camaraderie. Chesky points out that our potential is often unknown and that we should not limit ourselves based on societal expectations or preconceived notions of success. Jay Shetty adds to this by stating that creativity lies in connecting seemingly unrelated dots, and that all our experiences contribute to who we become, making us unique. The advice they both give is to seek out diverse experiences, try new things, and not be constrained by seeking status or predicting the future.

    • Embracing Growth: Pursuing Passions and Challenging LimitsPursue your passions, step out of your comfort zone, and embrace personal and professional growth by challenging your limits and seeking meaningful connections in life.

      Brian Chesky emphasizes the importance of pursuing one's interests and curiosity while striving for personal growth. He encourages individuals to step out of their comfort zones and enter uncharted territories, where they can challenge their limits and contribute to the betterment of society. Chesky acknowledges that success may exceed our initial expectations and occur in a different order than we imagined. He highlights the significance of balance and meaningful connections with others, reminding us that the happiest moments in life often involve shared experiences. Furthermore, he cautions against the common trap of constantly seeking validation from others and worrying about their opinions, as this can hinder personal fulfillment and lead to regret. Ultimately, Chesky's message is to live authentically and follow our passions, embracing both personal and professional growth.

    • Embracing Misunderstanding for Personal GrowthIt is essential to prioritize our own beliefs and goals over the opinions of others, allowing ourselves to evolve and bring about meaningful change, even if it means being temporarily misunderstood.

      It is natural to feel the need to fit in and care about what others think due to our evolutionary instincts. However, it is important to understand that it is okay to be misunderstood and that people's opinions may not hold true today or even matter in the grand scheme of things. Some of the greatest accomplishments often come from being temporarily misunderstood. Ultimately, what truly matters is listening to our own voice and following our own path without being influenced by external opinions. As we grow and change, it is necessary to give ourselves permission to evolve and not be confined by others' expectations. It is crucial to stay true to ourselves and our vision, even if it means being misunderstood for a while, as this is the essence of revolutionizing and bringing about change.

    • The Influence of Others on Our Self-PerceptionOur perception of ourselves is often shaped by how we think others see us, leading to an outdated image. It is important to ask introspective questions and prioritize personal happiness and meaningful impact.

      Our perception of ourselves is influenced by how we think others perceive us. This creates a disconnect between who we truly are and how we believe others see us, leading to an outdated image of ourselves. Brian Chesky acknowledges that his self-perception is influenced by the average of the last 41 years, even though he is currently a different person. He also expresses the need to understand what truly makes him happy, both personally and professionally. He recognizes that success and status are not everything and is on a continuous journey of self-discovery. The conversation highlights the importance of asking introspective questions and striving to leave a meaningful impact, even if it is not widely remembered.

    • Finding Happiness and Fulfillment Through Serving OthersHelping and serving others not only brings joy and fulfillment but also fuels individuals to align with their purpose and mission. However, it is important to maintain balance and actively foster community to avoid hindering personal growth and relationships.

      Finding happiness and fulfillment comes from helping and serving others. Brian Chesky and Jay Shetty both highlight the importance of giving back and using one's resources and abilities to make a positive impact in the world. Chesky emphasizes the joy he experiences from seeing others benefit and find value in what he creates. Shetty shares his belief that service is the highest act and that giving fuels individuals to align with their purpose and mission. However, Chesky admits that his singular focus on his tech company can become all-consuming and potentially hinder personal growth and relationships. They discuss the need for balance and seeking harmony by actively fostering community and being aware of old habits that may hold them back.

    • The Importance of Clarity and Action in Life and SuccessClarity and taking action are essential for achieving personal and professional goals, as they enable individuals to create and see how everything falls into place in hindsight.

      Having clarity is crucial in both personal and professional aspects of life. Brian Chesky discusses how he feels a disconnect between his professional and personal goals, but acknowledges that clarity is essential for creating and achieving what he desires. Jay Shetty emphasizes that having clarity makes it easier to create and take action towards one's goals. Chesky reflects on his professional journey and realizes that his endless curiosity and willingness to take action led him to where he is today. He expresses excitement about the possibility of connecting the dots in hindsight and seeing how everything fell into place. It is evident that both speakers believe that clarity and taking action are key ingredients for success and fulfillment.

    • The struggle to maintain identity and purpose in a growing companyEven in the face of near failure, it is crucial to reevaluate and reaffirm a company's vision to ensure its continued success.

      Brian Chesky, CEO of Airbnb, is concerned about the company losing its original identity and becoming a big, bureaucratic corporation. He expresses his fear of the company growing into something unrecognizable from its humble beginnings. Chesky believes that being big and having a soul are at odds with each other. However, his perspective shifts when Airbnb's business collapses due to the outbreak of Covid-19. The near-death experience forces Chesky to reevaluate the company's purpose and priorities. He decides to rebuild the company from the ground up, inspired by the leadership style of Steve Jobs and the idea of being the center of a shared consciousness. This conversation highlights the importance of maintaining a company's original vision and constantly reassessing its direction.

    • Gaining Clarity and Growth: Crisis vs. AvoidanceSelf-reflection and finding effective methods to navigate thoughts and ideas are essential for personal growth, whether prompted by a crisis or actively pursued without one.

      Gaining clarity and answering tough questions doesn't always require a crisis. Brian Chesky shares how going through a crisis forced him to ask and answer important questions, leading to clarity and growth. However, Jay Shetty suggests that it's possible to avoid a crisis and still gain the same benefits. Chesky explains his unique way of visualizing ideas and concepts, which helps him organize and understand complex relationships. This visualization is personal to him, but it highlights the importance of finding a method that works for individuals to navigate their thoughts and ideas effectively. The conversation emphasizes the significance of self-reflection, learning, and evolving without waiting for a crisis to prompt it.

    • Designing a World Worth Living InContinuously reassess and reflect on your values, mission, and desires as a tech leader to ensure that you are building something aligned with your true intentions and finding fulfillment in your endeavors.

      It is vital for tech leaders, especially founders, to design and create a world that they themselves want to live in. Oftentimes, these leaders are motivated by their dissatisfaction with the world they grew up in and their desire to improve it. However, it is crucial for them to step inside that world and truly experience it firsthand. Without purpose and reflection, entrepreneurs may build something that they would never want to be a part of. Many individuals forget why they started their ventures in the first place, losing sight of their intrinsic motivations. It is important to constantly reassess and reflect on one's values, mission, and desires to avoid waking up in a destination that wasn't intended. By maintaining clarity and introspection, leaders can align their actions with their true intentions and find fulfillment in their endeavors.

    • Losing oneself in the pursuit of successReconnecting with one's true self and aligning with personal values is crucial in avoiding losing oneself in the pursuit of success.

      It is common for founders and leaders to become confused and lose a sense of themselves in the midst of building a company or pursuing success. Brian Chesky, the founder of Airbnb, realized that he had started to become the company itself, losing his own identity in the process. This can happen to anyone, not just those with large companies. The pressure from various stakeholders and the desire to meet expectations can cause individuals to disconnect from their true selves. Reconnecting with oneself and finding the path back home is crucial. It is important to live in a world that aligns with one's values and intentions, rather than getting lost in the role or iconography created by external factors.

    • Expanding the Definition of FamilyBrian Chesky believes that redefining the concept of family to include close friends and others in our lives is crucial in a world where families have become smaller and more isolated.

      Brian Chesky envisions a world where the concept of family is expanded and redefined. He believes that the bonds of family are built on love, and as families have become smaller and more isolated, it is essential to expand the definition of family to include close friends and other people in our lives. Chesky sees himself as both the protector, offering security and bringing people together, and the vulnerable child seeking love and curiosity. He aspires to have the wisdom of his grandparents and the childlike wonder and curiosity, symbolizing a balance between his past and present selves. This image of a big dinner table filled with diverse people represents his desire for a well-designed, inclusive world.

    • The Balancing Act of Embracing the Future and Honoring the PastEffective leaders understand the importance of both the big picture and the small details, embracing paradoxes and finding significance in every aspect of their work.

      There is a beautiful tension between embracing the future and recognizing the importance of our past roots. Brian Chesky, as a founder, understands the paradoxes and competing forces that come with running a successful company. Despite achieving massive scale, he never loses sight of the small details and the intimate human connections. The ability to zoom in and zoom out, like a satellite map, allows him to see the big picture while still appreciating the smallest of details. This skill of balancing scale and significance is crucial for leaders. They must acknowledge their own insignificance in the grand scheme of things, yet find the significance in every connected aspect of their work. The world is full of paradoxes, and it is in these paradoxes that true fascination lies.

    • Embracing Our Connections and Finding FascinationWe are all connected to each other and everything around us. By embracing curiosity, finding relationships, and recognizing the game within the game, we can create meaningful connections and find fascination in the world.

      Everything in the universe is connected through service and interdependence. Despite our perceived separateness, we are fundamentally connected to each other and to everything around us. Loneliness may be a reality, but aloneness is an illusion. Creativity lies in discovering and making connections, finding relationships and similarities. To connect with others, embrace curiosity and be fascinated by them and the world. There is something interesting about every person and everything. Education can be made more engaging by finding the game within the game, connecting subjects to personal interests. Through the journey of building Airbnb, Brian Chesky has learned and discovered so much about the world. This conversation highlights the importance of recognizing and embracing our connections and finding fascination in everything.

    • Embracing Genuine Connections and Purposeful LivingFocus on creating authentic connections and making a positive impact, rather than chasing popularity or status. Embrace empathy and strive to bring people together, even in small ways.

      Brian Chesky emphasizes the importance of genuine connections and making a positive impact. He believes that it is better to have a hundred people who truly love you rather than a million people who only like you. Instead of focusing on scaling, he suggests doing things that don't scale but resonate deeply with others. Additionally, he highlights the detrimental nature of chasing status and reveals that genuine purpose lies in trying to bring the world together, even in small ways. When asked how he would like to be remembered, he simply hopes to be missed. Lastly, if he could create one law for the world, it would be for everyone to walk in someone else's shoes and gain a greater understanding and appreciation for one another's lives. This conversation highlights the significance of authentic connections, purposeful living, and empathy.

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    Today, Jay welcomes Dr. Aliza Pressman. Aliza is a developmental psychologist with nearly two decades of experience working with families and healthcare providers. She is the host of the Raising Good Humans podcast and an expert in parenting strategies and child development. Dr. Pressman is also the author of The Five Principles of Parenting: Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans, where she offers practical advice and insights for parents looking to raise emotionally resilient and well-rounded children. 

    Aliza begins by discussing whether everyone should become a parent and emphasizes the importance of being intentional and reflective before making that decision. She suggests that potential parents should think about their own values and how they want to approach parenting. She explains that having a strong, secure bond with a child is crucial for their development and that this bond can evolve over time, even if there have been mistakes along the way. 

    Some children are more sensitive and require a specific environment to thrive, while others are more adaptable. She encourages parents to be mindful of their child’s unique needs. The discussion moves on to discipline and encouragement. Dr. Pressman suggests that discipline should focus on teaching rather than punishing, with clear boundaries set for the child’s safety and well-being. When it comes to building confidence, she emphasizes that helping children develop skills (competence) is more effective than simply giving praise.

    In this interview, you'll learn:

    How to handle parenting guilt and shame

    How to set boundaries for your child

    How to build your child’s confidence

    How to discipline effectively

    How to foster independence in your child

    How to build a secure attachment with your child

    By focusing on building secure attachments, setting clear boundaries, and fostering independence, parents can create a nurturing environment where their children can thrive. 

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    • 00:00 Intro
    • 02:57 Should Everyone Be a Parent?
    • 04:29 How Do We Get to Be Who We Are?
    • 05:50 Secure Attachment Relationship
    • 07:15 Feeling of Guilt and Shame as a Parent
    • 11:07 Tiny Moments to Build Resilience
    • 15:31 The Tendency to Overcorrect
    • 17:03 What is Effective Reflection?
    • 21:44 Learn to Reflect with Your Children
    • 26:31 Failure as a Parent
    • 31:14 Different Forms of Communication with Children
    • 35:10 What is the Right Approach to Discipline?
    • 39:10 Three Parenting Styles 
    • 41:36 Tension and Rejection Can Be a Motivation
    • 45:34 Dealing with a Child Who Doesn’t Want to Open Up
    • 50:12 Your Presence is Important
    • 51:46 How to Have a Social Media Conversation?
    • 57:12 How to Raise a Confident Human?
    • 01:01:40 Allow Kids to Showcase What They Learned
    • 01:05:53 Adults Can Work on Themselves
    • 01:07:23 Aliza on Final Five

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    6 Steps to Detox from Your Phone & Reduce Your Anxiety Levels

    6 Steps to Detox from Your Phone & Reduce Your Anxiety Levels

    How often do you check your phone daily?

    Do you feel anxious when you’re away from your phone?

    Today, Jay addresses the growing concern of excessive phone and internet usage, exploring its detrimental effects on mental and physical health. He begins by explaining how activities like swiping, liking, and commenting on social media provide our brains with dopamine hits, which can create a cycle of dependency and compulsive behavior. Despite the benefits of technology, such as increased connectivity and access to information, many people feel less connected and more distracted, anxious, and impatient.

    Jay elaborates on the neurological aspects of dopamine and its role in pleasure-seeking behaviors, emphasizing that problems arise when we expect constant rewards from our online activities. He draws parallels between the brain's response to food and its response to digital consumption, advocating for a balanced approach that avoids overindulgence in either.

    In this episode, you'll learn:

    How to become more conscious of your internet use

    How to have wifi-free meals

    How to replace morning phone use with healthier habits

    How to stay mindful when using technology

    How to engage in a cell phone detox

    The ultimate goal is to create a healthier, more intentional relationship with technology, leading to a more fulfilling and balanced life.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    01:46 On Your Phone All the Time?

    05:32 Losing Control Over Phone Use

    06:19 Six Steps to Phone Detox

    07:01 Dopamine

    11:23 People Aren’t As Happy As Before

    13:39 How Often Do You Check Your Phone?

    14:27 Cortisol

    17:26 Step 1: Become More Conscious

    19:19 Step 2: Wait an Hour Before Going Online

    21:18 Step 3: The WiFi-Free Meal

    23:45 Step 4: Watch What You Consume Online

    24:54 Step 5: Limit Potions

    25:48 Step 6: Intermittent Fasting

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Alexis Ren & Allie Michelle: 3 Ways to Stop Putting a Guard up in Love & Why You Need to Change Your Mindset On What Success Means in Dating

    Alexis Ren & Allie Michelle: 3 Ways to Stop Putting a Guard up in Love & Why You Need to Change Your Mindset On What Success Means in Dating

    How can you start letting your guard down in love?

    How can you become more open and vulnerable in your relationships?

    Today, let's welcome Alexis Ren and Allie Michelle. Alexis is a model, entrepreneur, and social media influencer with over 18 million followers on Instagram. Known for her advocacy of mental health and self-empowerment, Alexis has leveraged her platform to promote wellness and personal growth. She is also the co-founder of "We Are Warriors," a female-driven wellness community focused on fostering self-love, strength, and growth among women worldwide. 

    Allie is a bestselling author, spoken word artist, and certified yoga, breathwork, meditation, Reiki, and craniosacral therapist. She is passionate about holistic health and personal development, which she incorporates into her work. The duo are the co-founders of "We Are Warriors," a female-driven wellness community focused on fostering self-love, strength, and growth among women worldwide. 

    Alexis and Allie's friendship began when they were preteens and they share how their relationship has been a cornerstone of their personal growth, providing mutual support through life's challenges. A significant turning point in their friendship occurred when Alexis's mother passed away, leading to Allie’s family adopting Alexis. 

    A significant theme throughout the discussion is the balance of masculine and feminine energies, which Alexis and Allie explore in depth. They describe how these energies play out in their lives and work, with Alexis often taking on a more masculine, action-oriented role, while Allie embodies a more feminine, intuitive approach. They emphasize the importance of recognizing and honoring both energies within oneself and in others, as this balance has been crucial in their personal and professional lives.

    Alexis and Allie also address the societal pressures that women face, particularly around beauty standards and career expectations. Both women emphasize the importance of breaking free from limiting beliefs and societal expectations to find deeper fulfillment and authenticity.

    In this interview, you'll learn:

    How to support a friend

    How to manage criticism

    How to build a strong friendship

    How to stay authentic

    How to handle creative blocks

    How to empower others

    Embrace the balance of your masculine and feminine energies, break free from societal expectations, and empower each other to thrive on the journey to self-discovery and growth.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    • 00:00 Intro
    • 03:38 Beginning of a Friendship 
    • 08:25 Growing Together Independently
    • 10:21 Going Through Big and Small Changes
    • 15:19 Creative and Emotional Intelligence
    • 18:30 Validating and Complimenting Each Other 
    • 21:59 Types of Archetypes
    • 27:18 What's Holding Women Back?
    • 29:46 Start Embracing Your Feminine Energy
    • 33:38 Why Did It Trigger You?
    • 41:00 How to Prepare for Life
    • 45:23 Living an Internally Peaceful Life
    • 52:44 Balance Between Masculine and Feminine Energy
    • 01:02:25 Dealing with the Imbalance in Your Energy
    • 01:07:00 You Can Do Uncomfortable Things
    • 01:10:16 The Best Journaling Practice
    • 01:14:39 Speak to Your Subconscious
    • 01:16:55 Try Leaning Into the Moment
    • 01:23:27 Relationship Checklist 
    • 01:28:38 Alexis and Allie on Final Five 
    • 01:37:46 Giving Each Other the Grace of Change

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Why Your Unresolved Trauma is Keeping You Stuck & How to Rewire Your Brain to Move Forward with Laverne Cox

    Why Your Unresolved Trauma is Keeping You Stuck & How to Rewire Your Brain to Move Forward with Laverne Cox

    How does unresolved trauma impact your life?

    How can you rewire your brain to overcome trauma?

    Today, in the On Purpose podcast, Jay sits down with actress and LGBT advocate, Laverne Cox. Laverne’s groundbreaking performance on "Orange Is the New Black" made her the first openly transgender person to be nominated for a Primetime Emmy Award. In addition to her acting career, Laverne Cox has been involved in various advocacy and awareness campaigns, making her a significant figure in the ongoing struggle for transgender and LGBTQ+ rights. Her work has contributed to greater visibility and acceptance of transgender individuals in the entertainment industry and society at large.

    In this episode, Laverne and Jay dive deep into transgender rights, media representation challenges, and how empathy can make a big difference in our divided world. They also discuss how fake news and false information on the internet can be a problem and why learning how to spot them is crucial. 

    Laverne also shares personal experiences and insights that shed light on the struggles and triumphs of the transgender community. She also talked about the need for structural change, greater investment in education, and the role of love and empathy in promoting understanding and healing. 

    In this interview, you'll learn:

    • The power of personal stories in changing perceptions and fostering empathy
    • The struggles and rights of transgender individuals in society
    • Ways to challenge and correct misconceptions about transgender individuals
    • The importance of uncomfortable conversations and understanding why having difficult discussions is essential for growth and progress.

    Remember that understanding and empathy can bridge even the widest divides, and it's through collective efforts that we can work toward a more inclusive and compassionate world. 

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    • 00:00 Intro
    • 01:10 Childhood Memories That Define Who Laverne Is Today
    • 10:51 Reparenting Her Inner Child
    • 18:27 Why Is Denial Unhealthy?
    • 25:05 Try To Let Go Of All Your Thoughts
    • 27:43 The Fear and Freedom of Growing Older in Hollywood
    • 31:13 Unlearning Transphobia and White Supremacy
    • 46:06 Fight for Trans Rights and Mental Wellness
    • 59:03 Bridging the Divide Through Thoughtful Conversations

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Robert Greene: How to Deal with Negative People When They Are in Your Family, Friend Circle or Work

    Robert Greene: How to Deal with Negative People When They Are in Your Family, Friend Circle or Work

    How do you deal with negative people close to you?

    How do you stay positive around negative people?

    Today, Jay welcomes Robert Greene, known for his bestsellers like "The 48 Laws of Power" and "The Daily Laws." Robert's works draw on historical figures and events to provide insights into the dynamics of power and social influence. His books are often used as guides for personal development, leadership, and understanding the complexities of human interactions. 

    Robert shares tips on dealing with negative people, emphasizing the importance of emotional distance and understanding that everyone has their flaws and shares his thoughts on the idea that our sense of self is just a mental construct, and real enlightenment comes from letting go of our egos. He also stresses the importance of questioning your beliefs to truly understand who you are and what you’re meant to do in life. 

    Followed by Jay and Robert's discussion on why it's more important to judge people by their character rather than their intelligence or charm, how a strong character is shown by handling criticism well, working well with others, and managing stress. They also talk about how modern life can make us less empathetic and the need to genuinely connect with others. 

    In this interview, you'll learn:

    How to deal with negative people

    How to develop empathy in modern life

    How to question your own beliefs

    How to stay true to yourself

    How to handle criticism constructively

    How to manage stress effectively

    By understanding the nature of the self, maintaining emotional distance from negativity, and focusing on genuine connections, we can foster a stronger sense of empathy and authenticity in our lives.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    • 00:00 Intro
    • 05:31 How to Deal with Negative People?
    • 09:04 Look Behind the Mask
    • 13:26 Getting Attracted to the Wrong People
    • 15:02 Filling Up the Emptiness
    • 17:23 Surprising Characteristics in Humans
    • 19:10 Our Capacity for Empathy
    • 21:31 What’s Your Most Repeated Thought?
    • 22:34 How Quiet the Mind
    • 24:54 Becoming More Aware
    • 30:20 How We Process What We’re Experiencing
    • 33:42 Who Really Are You?
    • 37:44 How People Think About You
    • 41:00 People’s Perception of You
    • 43:46 The Before and After
    • 46:57 Timeless Knowledge in Books
    • 49:58 What Makes You Excited?
    • 53:16 The Second Self
    • 55:57 The Core of Your Reality
    • 59:21 Limited Language
    • 01:01:41 The Limited Circle of Harmony
    • 01:04:49 Different Thoughts About the World
    • 01:11:04 Slowing Down
    • 01:13:21 Robert on Final Five  

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    4 Ways We Self-Sabotage & 3 Ways to Improve the Relationship We Have With Ourselves

    4 Ways We Self-Sabotage & 3 Ways to Improve the Relationship We Have With Ourselves

    What’s blocking you?

    What’s holding you back?

    Today, Jay talks about the concept of self-sabotage, examining how it manifests in various aspects of our lives and offering strategies for overcoming it. Self-sabotage is defined as behaviors that undermine our own success, happiness, and stated goals. These actions often occur subconsciously, rooted in deep psychological patterns formed during early childhood.

    Jay outlines four primary ways people self-sabotage: chronic lateness, procrastination, putting oneself down, and perfectionism. He also discusses the habit of putting oneself down, which can manifest through over-apologizing or refusing to take credit for accomplishments. This behavior is often linked to low self-esteem or an internalized critical voice from childhood.

    In this episode, you'll learn:

    How to Recognize Self-Sabotage

    How to Stop Putting Yourself Down

    How to Change Negative Self-Talk

    How to Understand Your Triggers

    How to Set Boundaries

    By understanding and working through these patterns, you can unlock your full potential and achieve the success and happiness you desire.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    03:08 What is Self-Sabotage?

    05:41 Passive-Aggressive Behavior

    08:22 Behavior that Counters What We Tell Ourselves

    11:08 What Leads to Self-Sabotage?

    14:26 #1: Chronic Lateness

    16:22 #2: Procrastination

    19:53 #3: Putting Yourself Down

    23:15 #4: Perfectionism

    27:01 Three Ways to Deal with Your Self-Sabotaging Behavior

    28:53 weird noise in the background

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Related Episodes

    Zane Lowe ON: 3 Tools for Navigating Social Anxiety & 3 Ways to Change Your Relationship with Your Ego

    Zane Lowe ON: 3 Tools for Navigating Social Anxiety & 3 Ways to Change Your Relationship with Your Ego

    How do you deal with social anxiety?

    Do you have tools in place to help you overcome anxious thoughts?

    Today, Zane Lowe sits down with Jay Shetty for a conversation about success in career, marriage and parenthood, and how to navigate social anxiety. Zane is a grammy-nominated producer, executive, and radio host. He is Apple Music’s Creative Director and the flagship anchor for Apple Music 1, part of the award-winning Apple Music Radio.  In addition to hosting his daily show, Zane curates original programming and oversees Apple Music's artist-led programming, which features shows hosted by Lady Gaga, Billie Eilish, Lil Wayne, Justin Bieber, and many more.  

    Zane opens up about his lifelong passion for music, which was ignited by a chance meeting with Split Enz. What's truly remarkable is that, despite his immense success in the music industry, He remains a devoted fan at heart. He reminds us that our passions can be a driving force in our lives, and when we put our focus on manifesting what truly matters, we can create space within ourselves for the good things.

    As we dive deeper into this candid discussion, Zane shares his insights on maintaining a balanced life in the face of distractions and the importance of cherishing the simple things. He highlights the value of creating communities and experiences that inspire others, shedding light on how therapy played a pivotal role in preparing him for parenthood, and the essence of love as an unspoken language, the secrets of lasting marriages, and the true meaning of greatness. 

    In this interview, you'll learn:

    • Why you need to focus on what truly matters in your life
    • How to create space for positive things
    • The power of shared experiences in a community
    • How to love deeply and more meaningfully
    • How to be in-tune with your ego
    • How to maintain a healthy balance in your life
    • How to have impactful and inspiring conversations

    In the end, we are reminded that the most inspiring conversations often happen with those who have no intention to sell, leaving us with profound insights about life and purpose.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss

    00:00 Intro 

    01:29 How A Life-long Passion For Music Evolved Into A Successful Career 

    07:36 We Manifest The Things We Focus On 

    10:06 Dedicate Your Focus To Things That Feel Authentic To You 

    14:19 The Importance Of Creating Space Within Your Mind 

    16:30 The True Purpose Of Music Is To Inspire and Create Community 

    20:55 How Therapy Helped Prepare Zane For Parenthood 

    24:55 What Kind Of Father Do You Want To Be? 

    26:30 Why Is Love Considered An Unspoken Language?

    29:36 You Need To Grow Together If You Want Your Marriage Can Last 

    33:44 Navigating Social Anxiety 

    36:26 True Greatness Comes From Knowing How To Access It 

    42:06 How To Recognize A Genuine Connection With An Individual 

    45:37 What’s Your Relationship With Your Ego? 

    51:30 Do You Manifest? How Do You Practice Manifestation? 

    53:23 How Do You Manage Ambition And Still Maintain A Balanced Life? 

    58:46 You’ll Miss Opportunities If You’re Only Focused On Speed 

    01:01:00 Practicing Healthy Routines 

    01:04:07 Undoing Habits And Practices That Society Built For Us 

    01:11:03 What Is The Difference Between Working And Working Hard?

    01:11:55 The Most Inspiring Conversations Are With People Who Have No Intention To Sell 01:17:25 Zane Lowe on Final Five

    Episode Resources:

    Want to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Vanessa Patrick - Saying No Without Guilt: Strategies for Setting Boundaries | STM Podcast #172

    Vanessa Patrick - Saying No Without Guilt: Strategies for Setting Boundaries | STM Podcast #172

    On episode 172, we welcome Dr. Vanessa Patrick to discuss the impact of people-pleasing behavior on mental health and relationships, learning to say no to break the cycle, the importance of setting boundaries, the role of cultural and societal expectations in making it difficult for individuals to say no, strategies for navigating these pressures, the relationship between saying no and decision-making and how it can help individuals make more intentional and purposeful choices, the difference between saying no and being rude, cultivating respect with assertiveness, how to effectively communicate boundaries without causing conflict, the connection between saying no and productivity, how to avoid burnout and feeling overwhelmed, the long-term benefits of saying no, and how doing so can lead to a more fulfilling and satisfying life.

    Dr. Vanessa Patrick is a Professor of Marketing and the Associate Dean for Research at the Bauer College of Business at the University of Houston. Dr. Patrick has published dozens of research articles in top-tier academic journals in psychology, marketing, and management, and popular accounts of her work have appeared in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, NPR, Los Angeles Times, Business Week, Fast Company, Forbes, Huffington Post and Washington Post. In her research, she investigates strategies to achieve personal mastery and inspire everyday excellence in oneself and others and is a pioneer in the study of everyday consumer aesthetics. Her new book, available now, is called The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life.

     

    | Dr. Vanessa Patrick |

    ► Website | https://www.vanessapatrick.net

    ► Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/vanpat23

    ► Twitter l https://twitter.com/vpatrick23

    ► Facebook l https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=4935501

    ► Linkedin l https://www.linkedin.com/in/vanessapatrick23

    ► The Power of Saying No Book | https://amzn.to/42psmYk

     

     

    Where you can find us:

    | Seize The Moment Podcast |

    ► Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/SeizeTheMoment

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    ► Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/seizethemoment

    ► TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@seizethemomentpodcast

     

    Airbnb CEO: “IT WAS SO DARK WE NEARLY DIED!”. I Was Lonely, Deeply Sad & Wanted To Be Loved! [INSPIRING!] Brian Chesky

    Airbnb CEO: “IT WAS SO DARK WE NEARLY DIED!”. I Was Lonely, Deeply Sad & Wanted To Be Loved! [INSPIRING!] Brian Chesky
    Is being an artist the secret behind running a Fortune 500 company? In this new episode Steven sits down again with the co-founder and CEO of Airbnb, Brian Chesky. Brian created ‘Airbed and Breakfast’ in 2007 with his college friend Joe Gebbia as a scheme to pay their rent. Cut to 2020, when Airbnb became a public company, with its initial public offering reaching $100 billion, one of the highest in history. Brian has been named by Forbes as one of America's Richest Entrepreneurs Under 40, and one of Time’s 100 Most Influential People. In this conversation Brian and Steven discuss topics, such as: His difficult childhood Always feeling like an outsider and different How his art teacher changed his life The way industrial design shaped his career as a CEO Always wanting to design his own world Wanting to escape his childhood His work addiction Working as a way of finding love How success is isolating What no one told him about success The need to fight to be connected with people Why success won't fix you How Obama changed his life The life changing impact of one text message His biggest regret The impact of Walt Disney upon him How creativity changes the world Airbnb initially just being a way to pay the rent How creativity beats data Why more companies need creativity and heart Why company culture is everything The importance of leaders as examples How your worst moments define you Airbnb’s fight for survival What he learned about true happiness The world’s loneliness pandemic Follow Brian: Instagram: https://bit.ly/3ti1InE Twitter: https://bit.ly/3RSjGYo Watch the episodes on Youtube - https://g2ul0.app.link/3kxINCANKsb My new book! 'The 33 Laws Of Business & Life' is out now: https://smarturl.it/DOACbook Follow me: Instagram: http://bit.ly/3nIkGAZ Twitter: http://bit.ly/3ztHuHm Linkedin: https://bit.ly/41Fl95Q Sponsor: Huel: https://g2ul0.app.link/G4RjcdKNKsb Shopify: http://shopify.com/barlett Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    THESE are the CHARACTER Traits Of Irresistible People | John Maxwell

    THESE are the CHARACTER Traits Of Irresistible People | John Maxwell

    John C. Maxwell is a #1 New York Times bestselling author, speaker, coach and leader who has sold more than 34 million books in fifty languages. He is the founder of Maxwell Leadership—the leadership development organization created to expand the reach of his principles of helping people lead powerful, positive change. Maxwell’s books and programs have been translated into 70 languages and have been used to train tens of millions of leaders in every nation. His work also includes that of the Maxwell Leadership Foundation and EQUIP, non-profit organizations that have impacted millions of adults and youth across the globe through values-based, people- centric leadership training. 

    As an exclusive offer to the Lewis’s Podcast audience, John’s team is offering a limited-time discount on the book plus free shipping. Go to www.16lawsofcommunication.com and use Promo Code LEWIS at checkout.

    Order John’s book, The 16 Laws of Communication - https://amzn.to/3QQ1Qoi

    In this episode you will learn,

    • The character traits and habits that make people irresistible, understanding what draws others towards them effortlessly.
    • The essential qualities that set exceptional leaders apart from their average counterparts, gaining insights into the traits that drive exceptional leadership.
    • The significance of vulnerability in effective leadership and how leaders can effectively balance vulnerability with maintaining their authority.
    • Clear distinctions between magnetic leadership and toxic leadership.
    • Key principles and strategies in leadership that are often overlooked or underrated, providing you with a deeper understanding of what truly drives successful leadership.

    For more information go to www.lewishowes.com/1500

    For more Greatness text PODCAST to +1 (614) 350-3960

    Want more Irresistible Traits content?

    Vanessa Van Edwards: https://link.chtbl.com/1231-pod

    Dr. Ramani Durvasula: https://link.chtbl.com/1195-pod & https://link.chtbl.com/1196-pod

    Lori Gottlieb: https://link.chtbl.com/1191-pod

    Chuck Wisner - Conscious Conversations: The Key to Deepening Relationships & Fostering Understanding | STM Podcast #168

    Chuck Wisner - Conscious Conversations: The Key to Deepening Relationships & Fostering Understanding | STM Podcast #168

    On episode 168, we welcome Chuck Wisner to discuss the importance of conscious conversations in building deeper connections and understanding between people, the role of active listening in conscious conversations, how it can transform our relationships and interactions, strategies for cultivating empathy and compassion during conversations, why these qualities are essential for effective communication, how ego and internal storytelling disrupt relationships, how practicing mindfulness can improve our ability to communicate with others, the ways in which conscious conversations can be used to address difficult topics, examples of conscious conversations in action, creativity from collaboration and why it shouldn’t matter who gets credit, practical tips and exercises for developing the skills and habits needed for conscious conversations, how readers can apply these strategies in their daily lives, and what Chuck learned from meeting the Dalai Lama.

    Chuck Wisner is president of Wisner Consulting. His client list includes companies such as Google, Rivian, Apple, Tesla, Harvard Business School, Ford, and Chrysler. Wisner was a senior affiliated mediator with the Harvard Mediation Program and was among the first to be certified through the Mastering the Art of Professional Coaching program at the Newfield Institute. He was also a specialist in organizational learning and leadership as an affiliate with MIT’s Center for Organizational Learning. His new book, available now, is called The Art of Conscious Conversations: Transforming How We Talk, Listen, and Interact.

     

    | Chuck Wisner |

    ► Website | https://www.chuckwisner.com

    ► Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/chuck_wisner

    ► Twitter | https://twitter.com/chuck_wisner

    ► Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/chuckwisnerconsulting

    ► Linkedin | https://www.linkedin.com/company/chuckwisner

    ► The Art of Conscious Conversations Book | https://amzn.to/3Mq1r9S

     

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