Teaching children to accept “no” answers and follow instructions are critical skills. When family members learn these skills and incorporate them into their daily lives, behaviors can be corrected and the parent-child relationship is more connected. Janice Mireles and Rachael Moss, parenting experts and Teaching Self-Government mentors, join Courtney and Carley for the second part in a discussion about the 4 basic skills every child and parent needs. For the first two skills, check out Season 2 Episode 8. This episode is part of the Connections within Motherhood series, airing May 2023.
Call to Action:
“Using these fundamental skills can create so much success in so many areas, but even if you teach these skills daily, you won't be able to see the connection that you want, you won't live your family mission or reach your vision if your tone isn't right. So my call to action is to notice your tone!
Take a deep breath before you speak. Look into your children's eyes when you speak, and feel love and trust toward them. Believe the best of them. I know this can be hard when we have such deep neural pathways and lifelong habits of lecturing or snapping and griping, yelling, whatever it may be. So at first, just notice and practice and see what a difference that alone makes.” - Janice Mireles
Show Timeline:
0:00 Guests and topic introduction
2:30 Accepting no answers: includes criticism (positive and negative) and not getting what you prefer
5:30 Using disagree appropriately skill within the “accepting a no answer” skill
12:45 Pre-teaching plug, rewarding vs. bribing, communicating with pre-teens and teenagers
16:00 Dropping the subject with your mouth and your mind
18:15 Following instructions: be clear, break down tasks, make sure task is accomplishable for the child, children blooming under praise afterwards
21:00 Check back: the last step in following instructions
24:00 When instructions are consequences, they do NOT need to be negative. Making cookies with mama, serving siblings at lunch.
27:00 Using TSG instead of custom-crafting punishments based on children’s natures (Courtney’s a-ha moment transitioning from a different parenting model)
28:30 Call to action, concluding thoughts, outtakes
Resources:
Connect with Janice and Rachael
Connect with Hey, Sister!
Learn more about Teaching Self-Government
Parenting: A house United (book referenced)
Check out past episodes of Hey, Sister! (including Part 1 of this 2-part segment)
