Anger Part 2 - Threshold of Brilliance, Episode 19, Part 2
Anger, Part 2 – Threshold of Brilliance – Episode 19 – November 6, 2023
Welcome back to Threshold of Brilliance and Part 2 of our conversation about Anger. Last week, we talked a lot about the root causes of anger, and some of how anger can affect us. We covered a lot of territory, but not nearly everything we could have. That’s why we divided this incredibly important topic into two parts, and I’m sure we’ll add more later, as well.
This week, we try to discover ways to get us out of anger in the moment, and ways to keep ourselves from so quickly succumbing to the urge to anger. We’ll start with a bit of overlap from last week so you can hopefully recall where we were and quickly get back into the conversation.
SHOW NOTES:
Positive Intelligence – inside of us we all have a Sage, the wise part of us, and a Saboteur, that voice inside us that tells us we’re not enough, or good enough, etc.
· Our Sage tells us to be curious and look for the opportunities
· Our Saboteur tells us all the reasons it’s not going to happen – the voice that shoots us down
We can blame our parents for our volatile nature, but the moment we discover that our temper was something we learned from our parents, then we can’t blame them any longer. If we discover we got a behavior from a parent, it’s not on them anymore, it’s on us for our choice to keep the behavior. – John
Why do some people become so angry, so triggered, while others seem to have it under control?
Mental health issues are a big part of the rage we see, but other parts come from life. I.E. 46% of the workforce is experiencing high levels of stress and that triggers anxiety and depression. – Brad
We learn much of our anger reactions from our parents, but 10-15% of the ways we react to stressors in the world come from our genetics. – Brad
Health also plays a big part. If you’re not feeling well, it affects how you respond to things. – Brad
Anger is not always a negative. Anger about a situation can prompt you to go do something about it. – John
What are some causes of prolonged anger?
Sometimes the stressors are beyond us and not our choice, such as poverty and economic issues. – John
Anger can become something so familiar with feeling, that we become comfortable with it. – Brad
Anger can be like a “check engine” light. It tells us we need to look at it to understand what is going on and to get it back under control. Not dealing with it can create a long-term anger. – Brad
Long term anger can cause high blood pressure, heart issues, headaches, ulcers, muscle tension, anxiety, and much more. – Brad
Globally, anger has been so present we now consider being in a constant state of anger is a normal way to be. We’ve lost the ability to take a moment to find peace with wear you are today – that peace is something religion used to teach us. – Brad
Our job is not to eliminate anger, it’s to recognize it, step back from it, and make a different choice. We need to change the habit of anger. – John
How do you step back in the moment, or short-circuit long term anger?
Anger is a symptom, not the cause. Think of my “check engine” analogy, anger is a check engine light. A check engine light tells you you need to do something about it and not just ignore it. If you don’t your engine can break down. – Brad
Addressing anger means to find the root cause, but to return to a calm state, with the capability of finding the root cause, one good way is “diaphragmatic breathing,” it causes full body calmness. – Brad
Anchoring – repeatedly replacing a bad habit, like anchor, with a good habit. This is effective, but on average, it takes 66 days to replace a bad habit. – Brad
Mindfulness – be aware that your anxiousness is coming up, and that you’re starting to feel frustrated or angry – feel your “check engine” light about to come on and step away from it. – Brad
Centering Prayer or Centering Breathing or Mindfulness Breathing, can be an effective tool for defusing anger in the moment, or when it comes up in thought later on. – John
