caregiver stress

In this episode, I share what to do when it feels like nothing is working in your caregiver life because these times are tough when you are the primary caregiver and feel alone and like you're the only one dealing with hard times.  I share my approach that helps me and my clients navigate the tough times and come out stronger on the other side.   I share my step-by-step process (which includes 7 questions to ask yourself) for assessing the stressful situation and creating a focused and intentional plan to move forward.  All along the way we also check in with your mental health to ensure that you're taking care of yourself as well as your loved done.  

Takeaways:  You are not alone in experiencing challenges in your caregiver life.  Caregiving is hard and it will have it's ups and downs.  Stop being so hard on yourself.  You are doing the best you can.  So grant yourself grace.  Assess the situation by pausing, checking in on yourself and identifying your stress.  Focus on what you can control and take intentional action.  find accountability and support to focus and navigate your tough seasons.  Remember the lessons learned from tough seasons for future challenges and to become a better you.  

Blog Post: Question To Check In With Yourself - https://www.cathylvan.com/blog/201

Get my free resource:  17 SHIFTS TO TAKE CONTROL OF CAREGIVER STRESS that will take you to the best version of yourself.

Thank you for listening. If you know of another caregiver who could benefit from this podcast, please copy and share this episode.

Follow me by clicking on the links below:

• ➡️ Get my free resource: 17 SHIFTS TO RECUDE CAREGIVER STRESS & SAY GOOD-BYE TO CAREGIVER BURNOUT
• If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat
• CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

It’s our mission to make dementia caregiving easier for families caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's disease, frontotemporal dementia, lewy body dementia, vascular dementia, or any other type of dementia. We believe that in order to create a more dementia-friendly world, we must first create a caregiver-friendly world. That's why we create free educational training videos like this one so that anyone with an internet connection can get access to dementia care information.

Are you a dementia caregiver seeking support but finding it hard to ask for help? In this video, I'll share practical steps to make asking for assistance easier than you think. Trust me, it's a game-changer!

Remember, asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Your well-being and that of your loved one depend on it. Give it a try and see the difference it can make.

#DementiaCare #CaregiverSupport #AgingPopulation #DementiaFriendlyWorld #PublicHealth #AlzheimersSupport #SubscribeNow

If you'd like to see this episode on video, you can hop on over to my YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/dementiacareblazers

You can also sign up for my free newsletter at https://www.dementiacareclass.com/website

**This channel and any information by Dementia Careblazers is not a substitute for healthcare. This is not healthcare advice. Please talk to your healthcare providers for specific feedback on your situation.

This is a cautionary tale about a dear friend, a family caregiver who died first. She was in her mid-70s, a few weeks younger than I am. In mid-April, she had a stroke. She died mid-July, just as I faced the one-year milestone of my husband's death from Alzheimer's. Her death emphasized the reality of caregiver stress and the importance of caregiver support. 

You may not have time to listen to this episode now. You may start and find it triggers something personal and painful.

So here's the one piece of advice I share in the epiode. I hope you will embrace it. My neighbor said this to me last week as I sat on her deck, crying:  Keep living until you feel alive again. 

Feeling overwhelmed and stressed as a caregiver? You're not alone. Join me on this emotional roller coaster ride, where I share my personal experiences and discuss the common challenges caregivers face. I know firsthand the struggle of waking up each day feeling hopeless and the reliance on quick fixes like power naps, late-night work, and denial. But what if we could move past these temporary fixes and aim for a more fulfilling caregiving life?

Get ready to be part of that 15% who are courageous enough to bring about lasting changes in their caregiving journey. I'll guide you through the process of stepping out of your comfort zone, combating negative thoughts, and making small, consistent steps towards a better caregiving life. Together, we'll explore my new course, Empowerful Caregiver School, focused on developing new skills, creating habits, and taking consistent action. Trust me, it's not as scary as it sounds.

And, because caregivers deserve all the care in the world, we'll wrap up by discussing the importance of self-care, to combat loneliness and improve overall well-being. Through habit stacking and pursuing personal passions, we can create moments of joy in our caregiving journey. So, let's strive for a healthier, happier life, not just for our loved ones, but for ourselves too. After all, caregiving is a marathon, not a sprint.

Get on the waitlist coming out in September.   I will be limiting the size of this group, so if you’re even considering it. 

Get my free resource:  17 SHIFTS TO TAKE CONTROL OF CAREGIVER STRESS that will take you to the best version of yourself.

Thank you for listening. If you know of another caregiver who could benefit from this podcast, please copy and share this episode.

Follow me by clicking on the links below:

• ➡️ Get my free resource: 17 SHIFTS TO RECUDE CAREGIVER STRESS & SAY GOOD-BYE TO CAREGIVER BURNOUT
• If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat
• CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

Ever wondered how your body is signaling stress levels and what the clues might mean? Join me as I take you on a journey of self-discovery, mapping stress zones and crafting strategies to manage caregiver stress. Drawing parallels from the ER triage system and my personal experience with my husband's injury, we'll explore how assessing your stress can be the first step towards better emotional resilience.

Dive into the world of color-coding your emotions, a simple yet profound technique to recognize and respond to the undercurrents of caregiving feelings. Let's reveal the patterns hidden in green, blue, yellow and red zones; from days of tranquility to times of fear and frustration. I'll share my raw, personal journey during a six-week stem cell transplant, providing insights into feelings of isolation and exhaustion, and how recognizing your color zone can provide relief.

Finally, let's walk together as we navigate different emotional zones, harnessing green days to build strength and turning blue days into opportunities for self-care. I'll share strategies that helped my 8-year-old son Jamie manage his 'red zone' moments, and my personal introspective journey during my dad's chemotherapy decision. Ready to build your personal toolkit to manage caregiver stress? Let's get started.

Get more training on the color coding system and toolkit strategy, join the waitlist for the NEW, upcoming Empowerful Caregiver program 

Get my free resource:  17 SHIFTS TO TAKE CONTROL OF CAREGIVER STRESS that will take you to the best version of yourself.

Thank you for listening. If you know of another caregiver who could benefit from this podcast, please copy and share this episode.

Follow me by clicking on the links below:

• ➡️ Get my free resource: 17 SHIFTS TO RECUDE CAREGIVER STRESS & SAY GOOD-BYE TO CAREGIVER BURNOUT
• If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat
• CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

Feeling weighed down by the stress of caregiving? Join me as I share a hilarious family story that teaches valuable lessons about handling stress and the importance of not overloading ourselves. Just like a canoe that can't handle too much weight, our minds and bodies can't handle excessive stress without tipping over. In this episode, I discuss the concept of a caregiver stress backpack and how we can learn to lighten the load.

I also examine the intense responsibilities that family caregivers face and the impact it has on their lives. With 71% of surveyed caregivers working while providing care, and 75% of them being female, it's essential to find ways to manage stress and prevent burnout. From preparing meals and assisting with dressing to providing social interaction, caregivers often feel like they're on a never-ending hamster wheel. In this discussion, I share my personal journey and the lasting effects caregiving had on my health, relationships, and career.

To help you navigate these challenges, I offer practical strategies for reducing caregiver stress and prioritizing self-care. By identifying your stressors, making small changes, and delegating tasks, you can lighten your stress backpack and create a healthier, more balanced life for yourself and those you care for. Remember, it's crucial to prioritize your well-being as a caregiver and take the necessary steps to become a successful and proud caregiver.

Get my free resource:  17 SHIFTS TO TAKE CONTROL OF CAREGIVER STRESS that will take you to the best version of yourself.

Thank you for listening. If you know of another caregiver who could benefit from this podcast, please copy and share this episode.

Follow me by clicking on the links below:

• ➡️ Get my free resource: 17 SHIFTS TO RECUDE CAREGIVER STRESS & SAY GOOD-BYE TO CAREGIVER BURNOUT
• If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat
• CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

Are you drowning in the demands of caregiving? What if there was a way to make your caregiving journey a little bit more manageable? Join me as I share valuable strategies for simplifying caregiving, by asking an essential question: "How can I make this easier?"

In this enlightening episode, I touch on the power of perspective, the importance of trusting our caregiving team, and the necessity of self-care in the midst of our busy lives. I discuss how embracing adaptability and actively prioritizing  well-being can alleviate stress and make the caregiving process more enjoyable. Plus, my personal experiences and how I've learned to implement processes and systems to make lives easier.

Finally, I invite you to connect with other caregivers in our private Facebook group, the Caregiver Cup Online Community. By sharing our experiences and supporting one another, we can make our caregiving journey a little bit easier together. So, don't miss this insightful episode packed with practical advice on making caregiving more manageable.

Get my free resource:  17 SHIFTS TO TAKE CONTROL OF CAREGIVER STRESS that will take you to the best version of yourself.

Thank you for listening. If you know of another caregiver who could benefit from this podcast, please copy and share this episode.

Follow me by clicking on the links below:

• ➡️ Get my free resource: 17 SHIFTS TO RECUDE CAREGIVER STRESS & SAY GOOD-BYE TO CAREGIVER BURNOUT
• If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat
• CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

In today’s episode, I’m talking about those unexpected challenges that come up while you are deep into caregiving.  Those ones that you just want to throw in the towel or run away.   But instead your forced into dealing with whether you want to or not.  

If you do it all everything yourself, what happens - stress, overwhelm, exhaustion and then your emotions start up - you get angry, and even resentful    You feel lonely and not appreciated.  You get frustrated and overwhelmed with all you have to do.  It becomes a downward spiral to burnout.   

 Burnout defined as “A state of emotional and physical exhaustion caused by a prolonged period of stress and frustration.  

Check out Episode 21:  The 3 Stage of Caregiver Stress

What can you do to find your team?   
Listen to Episode 96:  Why Asking For Help As Caregiver is Hard?  

When you release and reduce the stressors, you protect yourself from Caregiver Burnout.  When you embrace your thoughts and feeling and let go of the negative thoughts and untrue thoughts, you protect yourself from Caregiver Burnout.  

 When you are in Caregiver Burnout, you let those feelings that don’t help you.   Like Anger and Resentment.  Like Fatigue and Exhaustion.  And like Isolation and Loneliness. 

If you are there or on the track towards it…  you can reverse it.
 
I want to help by offering my free workshop called GOODBYE Caregiver Burnout.  I’m sharing 3 of my shifts that took me from stress to more joy   from burnout to gratitude.  

Get my free resource:  17 SHIFTS TO TAKE CONTROL OF CAREGIVER STRESS that will take you to the best version of yourself.

Thank you for listening. If you know of another caregiver who could benefit from this podcast, please copy and share this episode.

Follow me by clicking on the links below:

• ➡️ Get my free resource: 17 SHIFTS TO RECUDE CAREGIVER STRESS & SAY GOOD-BYE TO CAREGIVER BURNOUT
• If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat
• CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

Being aware of what caregiver season you are in, will help you in many ways.   In this episode we're breaking down each season.  

• LOW / GREEN
• MEDIUM / YELLOW
• HIGH / RED 

Are you in a low, medium or high this week? 
 

If you are in that high season right now.  Remember the color it is.  Red means that you may need to stop doing things and prioritize what’s most important.  It may require you to ask for help and most importantly grant yourself grace.  Your focus is in the present.  

If you are in the low, you may be able to take a breath and enjoy yourself more.   

I personally find the medium, the hardest.  Your emotions and thoughts want to be in low and you tend to be hard on myself.  When you're in the middle, you have to shift and adjust more.  

As you enter your day and week, my hope is that you assess where you are at.  That way you can realistically be at your best.   Your caregiver stress will be different in each season.  Your self-care will look different in each level.   

It’s a constant learning process and an awareness.   But you can make choices for yourself in each season. 

Get my free resource:  17 SHIFTS TO TAKE CONTROL OF CAREGIVER STRESS that will take you to the best version of yourself.

Thank you for listening. If you know of another caregiver who could benefit from this podcast, please copy and share this episode.

Follow me by clicking on the links below:

• ➡️ Get my free resource: 17 SHIFTS TO RECUDE CAREGIVER STRESS & SAY GOOD-BYE TO CAREGIVER BURNOUT
• If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat
• CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

In today’s podcast episode, we are tying it together.  Last week’s episode 125 was about understanding chronic caregiver stress (the science of why stress happens, how it happens and the impacts it has on our health.   Shortly, you will hear some habits/practices you can incorporate to wind back and retrain your vagus nerve and heal.   But one of the biggest ahha moments was what I missed.  

I started incorporating new practices and wasn’t feeling or seeing any change.   I went back and did more research and realized I didn’t focus on my thoughts, beliefs and mind.  When I started paying attention to my core beliefs and retraining my brain, that’s where I started feeling different.  

It’s amazing how you need to go through the process.  My hope is that this will make you examine your thoughts first and then start finding habits that go together. 

Grab the show notes here  ➡️ https://www.cathylvan.com/episode125

Join the Caregiver Cup Circle  ❤️ https://www.cathylvan.com/caregivercircle

If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching  ➡️   DM Cathy  @cathylynnvan

>>CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration
https://instagram.com/cathylynnvan/

Get my free resource:  17 SHIFTS TO TAKE CONTROL OF CAREGIVER STRESS that will take you to the best version of yourself.

Thank you for listening. If you know of another caregiver who could benefit from this podcast, please copy and share this episode.

Follow me by clicking on the links below:

• ➡️ Get my free resource: 17 SHIFTS TO RECUDE CAREGIVER STRESS & SAY GOOD-BYE TO CAREGIVER BURNOUT
• If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat
• CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

In this episode, I’m sharing the “whats”, “whys” and “hows” - meaning when you understand chronic stress and are aware of where you are at, then you can start making changes to improve.  In today’s world, everyone wants a quick fix and the bad news about chronic stress is that there isn’t a magic pill or a quick solution to reverse this.  But the good news is there are practices where you can shift your habits to improve this.

When we are stressed, the body shifts its resources from maintaining homeostasis, that happy place of well-being and balance, to protecting itself.  Stress is unavoidable (just trying to avoid it would stress you out!)  Normative stress (ie) is a natural part of life:  birth, death, marriage, breakups, job loss - these are all part of the human experience.    As an adaptive response, we develop coping strategies to help us return to our normal baseline.   We may seek support, learning to self-soothe, and trying to get our nervous system to homeostasis (that happy place of well-being and balance)  When we move from stress to normal baseline is allostasis.    This allows us to develop resilience.  

The body’s stress response is a fight or flight mechanism.  This is probably familiar to you.   Fighting and fleeing are two of the body’s instinctual, automatic reactions to stress.    The 3rd is freezing.    I met with my friend Amy last Friday over lunch to talk about this - and she made a great point of saying that these flight, flight and freeze responses are a way that our body keeps us safe.  Normal stress is good - it helps us grow and adapt

But chronic stress - meaning it’s constant and persists wears down and harms every system in our body.  In some cases of chronic stress, our adrenal glands release cortisol and other stress hormones, such as adrenaline, continuously. 

Stress also activates the immune system by getting signals that we’re living in a near constant threat state, it repeatedly sends out chemicals that cause inflammation to our body.    I think of these chemicals like a fire starter increasing our risk of developing autoimmune diseases, chronic pain and other things like heart disease to cancer.  

Inflammation occurs all over the body and may even affect our brain.  The impact of stress and trauma on our immune system and brain that scientists are looking into the mind-body connection called psychoneuroimmunology.   Inflammation of the brain has been identified in various forms from depression and anxiety to outright psychosis.  When you don’t resolve the stress or trauma and chronic stress becomes reality, your body adjusts and stays in this nervous system mode and stress responds further with other conditions.  Meaning you continue to keep developing other conditions like depression, high blood pressure, heart issues, weight gain and more.  

It’s this interesting?!   Are you thinking about when your stress moved to chronic stress and even move, how did it resp

Get my free resource:  17 SHIFTS TO TAKE CONTROL OF CAREGIVER STRESS that will take you to the best version of yourself.

Thank you for listening. If you know of another caregiver who could benefit from this podcast, please copy and share this episode.

Follow me by clicking on the links below:

• ➡️ Get my free resource: 17 SHIFTS TO RECUDE CAREGIVER STRESS & SAY GOOD-BYE TO CAREGIVER BURNOUT
• If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat
• CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

Burnout is easy to identify if you really reflect on your thoughts, actions, and the words you say to yourself or others. 

Words you say:  

• Things will be ok when my loved one feels better
• I just have to get through the next week and I have a day off to catch up.

Actions:  

• You feel exhausted, emotional or irritable.  A little challenge sets you off - ie:  driving the car, or forgetting the keys, or you snappping at your loved one.
• Your to-do list stresses you out.  You try to replan it but the load is still too heavy

Thoughts:

• You think about escaping.  wish you could pack your bag and run away
• You don’t like your loved one (resentment) and then you feel guilty for feeling this way 

But the reality is that you are a caregiver.  The universe is not conspiring against you, no one is trying to put these road blocks in your way intentionally   Caregiving and its challenges are just happening.  How you choose to look at things- ultimately determines your stress level. 

But if you let the stress get the best of you - it will lead to burnout.  And there is a cost to burnout. 

 So the big question is,  how do you show up as an effective and passionate caregiver , and not burn out.

Grab the show notes here  ➡️ https://www.cathylvan.com/episode116

Download  ➡️   3 Stages of Caregiver Overwhelm

Take the      ➡️ Caregiver Quiz

Join the Caregiver Cup Circle  ❤️ https://www.cathylvan.com/caregivercircle
The small group meets every other Tuesday.  We would love to have you!

>>CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration
https://instagram.com/cathylynnvan/

Get my free resource:  17 SHIFTS TO TAKE CONTROL OF CAREGIVER STRESS that will take you to the best version of yourself.

Thank you for listening. If you know of another caregiver who could benefit from this podcast, please copy and share this episode.

Follow me by clicking on the links below:

• ➡️ Get my free resource: 17 SHIFTS TO RECUDE CAREGIVER STRESS & SAY GOOD-BYE TO CAREGIVER BURNOUT
• If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat
• CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

I get a lot of questions from clients and caregivers curious about how I manage my caregiver stress, continue to keep going and find moments of joy each day.  In today's episode, I'm sharing my 6 personal habits / routines that I do to release my caregiver stress.   Before I started implementing these,  my stress and anxiety were causing burnout and fatigue which turned into health issues. 

Grab the show notes and full episode transcript here.   ➡️ https://www.cathylvan.com/episode110

Listen to these episodes that I reference :
➡️  https://www.cathylvan.com/episode105
➡️  https://www.cathylvan.com/episode109

Join the Caregiver Cup Circle  ❤️ https://www.cathylvan.com/caregivercircle
Enroll by May 10 to get in the May Group
If after May 10, you can enroll in the June Group.

>>CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration
https://instagram.com/cathylynnvan/

Get my free resource:  17 SHIFTS TO TAKE CONTROL OF CAREGIVER STRESS that will take you to the best version of yourself.

Thank you for listening. If you know of another caregiver who could benefit from this podcast, please copy and share this episode.

Follow me by clicking on the links below:

• ➡️ Get my free resource: 17 SHIFTS TO RECUDE CAREGIVER STRESS & SAY GOOD-BYE TO CAREGIVER BURNOUT
• If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat
• CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

Here are my top 5 lessons I’ve learned from my mistakes  

1. Shift your mindset  - focus on the positive and abundance side of your mindset vus the negative.   To change your mindset is not easy—but it is one of the most powerful things you can do. Learning how to recognize a negative mindset is the first step. Once you do, you will be empowered to make those changes and start seeking out the positive. Doing this can often turn your entire life around!
2. Ask questions and then ask more questions.   Don’t ever assume anything.   Doctors, Loved One, Family - everything and everyone.
3. Be honest with yourself.   Embrace your emotions.  It’s ok to be unhappy or not happy all the time.  You’re human and you will need to process things as they happen.   
4. Know where you are at with your stress.   Take a moment weekly and process.   https://www.cathylvan.com/caregiverstress
5. Put yourself first - you can please everyone.  You can’t do everything.  You can’t keep going.    Putting yourself first means planning your schedule first.  

If you are feeling stress or beating yourself up about your mistakes, I hope you take my lessons learned and grant yourself grace and embracing each lesson.   

And if you’re still struggling I have a resource that you might want to look into.   It’s my health boundaries tool.   It’s just $14 and you can get it at https://www.cathylvan.com/products/setting-healthy-boundaries

Thank you for listening. If you know of another caregiver who could benefit from this podcast, please copy and share this episode.

Follow me by clicking on the links below:

• ➡️ Get my free resource: 17 SHIFTS TO RECUDE CAREGIVER STRESS & SAY GOOD-BYE TO CAREGIVER BURNOUT
• If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat
• CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

How are you doing with your stress during the holiday season?

For some caregivers, the holidays can be a joyful time when spirits are lighter. It’s actually a nice distraction. It feels good to care for loved ones and enjoy time together, celebrating with family traditions.  You might even have visitors or get out a bit and enjoy family and friends.  

But for many of us the holidays also bring added stress — there’s even more to do during the holidays. You may be evening saying - Something’s gotta give! 

I know for me, I’m adding decorating, shopping, wrapping, Christmas cards and more to my plate.  My mom also needs to get her shopping done too.  Last year she was able to drive but this year she can’t.  I’m also trying to figure out how to celebrate safely with covid and Denis’ compromised immune system.  

We may have to make the decision to stay back and decline invitations this year.  For many and me included, it will bring on sadness, isolation and depression.  

It’s OK to give yourself a bit of a break this year. Here are some tips to help you make it through the holiday season with more joy and less stress.

Here are some tips to help you make it through the holiday season with more joy and less stress.

1. Focus on what is most meaningful

2. Simplify your holiday activities

3. Start new traditions

4. Adjust meals

5. Approach gift-giving more efficiently

6. Anticipate holiday hot buttons

7. Mind your mindset

8. Keep self-care at the top of the list

9. Connect with other caregivers

10. Ask for help

In 2017, we drove and spent a quiet day and ham dinner with my mom and dad while he was fighting his pancreatic cancer.  It was quaint and memorable.

It’s ok to not have the big bells and whistles - sometimes the quiet ones are the best

The bottom line is that this time is precious. Savor the moments with your loved ones and make good memories you can cherish forever.

Thank you for listening. If you know of another caregiver who could benefit from this podcast, please copy and share this episode.

Follow me by clicking on the links below:

• ➡️ Get my free resource: 17 SHIFTS TO RECUDE CAREGIVER STRESS & SAY GOOD-BYE TO CAREGIVER BURNOUT
• If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat
• CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

Three questions to ask yourself when you are experience Caregiver Stress.  When you answer these questions, you can better figure out ways to reduce stress.   

It’s important that we as caregiver avoid burnout.   This is stage two of caregiver overwhelm. Stage one is Caregiver Stress and if you don’t take care of your stress, burnout can sneak up pretty fast.  

Caregiver burnout is a state of emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion caused by the prolonged and overwhelming stress of caregiving (plus everything else on your plate).  

You might be struggling to maintain a sense of purpose in working so hard to provide care, which leads to feelings of loneliness and being unappreciated, second-guessed, or criticized by other family members, friends and your Loved One.  

And you're probably reluctant, unable or unwilling to reach out for help from others.  Isolation and  extreme energy loss are major signs of caregiver burnout.  When you're burned out, it's tough to do anything for you or anyone else.  

1.  What does your stress look like?  When you look at your stress what do you see?  

2. What does stress feel like?     Your feelings, your thoughts, what is your body and mind telling you.  

3.  What does stress do to you?  Meaning how do you act or react.  Or what behaviors do you resort to when stressed? 

Obviously there are better actions than others.  There are better behaviors than others. 

The body’s autonomic nervous system controls your heart rate, breathing, vision changes and more. Its built-in stress response, the “fight-or-flight response,” helps the body face stressful situations.

It’s so important to think about how you respond to stress physically, emotionally, mentally and through our actions.   

Caregiver Stress is real and it’s going to happen no matter how much you try to stop it.  When you feel stress I want you to think about the word REAL  

R = Recognize
E = Embrace
A = Accept
L = Learn

Stress is a normal human reaction that happens to everyone. In fact, the human body is designed to experience stress and react to it. When you experience changes or challenges (stressors), your body produces physical and mental responses. That’s stress.

Stress responses help your body adjust to new situations. Stress can be positive, keeping us alert, motivated and ready to avoid danger. But stress becomes a problem when stressors continue without relief or periods of relaxation.

Take some time to think through and observe your stress.   Then Grant yourself grace as you recognize and learn ways to overcome it.    

Get a free download, the 3 stages of caregiver stress   - this resource walks you through each stage (stress, burnout and fatigue)   It defines each stage and then gives you signs and symptoms to watch for.  

I hope you enjoyed this episode, I seriously want you to reflect on each question.  Grab a journal and really write these out.  It has worked for me over and over again.   

Here’s to reducing your stress and taking care of yourself friend.     

Thank you for listening. If you know of another caregiver who could benefit from this podcast, please copy and share this episode.

Follow me by clicking on the links below:

• ➡️ Get my free resource: 17 SHIFTS TO RECUDE CAREGIVER STRESS & SAY GOOD-BYE TO CAREGIVER BURNOUT
• If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat
• CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

Imagine what it would feel like if you had less stress and guilt?  And you embraced more joy and gratitude?

Well I want to share 3 shifts that I have done consistently to keep my stress levels down.  I hope when you listen to these today you can find one of these helpful to use right away or it sparks another idea to try.

The mistake I see so many caregiver make is filling up their schedule - time, energy with work, doctor appointments, house work (you fill in the blank here) .  They jam back their day with so many priorities.  

Finding changes or shifts to keep your stress levels down and really focusing on yourself is key  

Shift 1:  Morning Mindset

• Start the day with positivity, intent and control your stress
• It can be as simple as 15 minutes

Shift2:   Adopt a Gratitude Practice

• Another huge mistake we as caregivers make is letting those feelings and thoughts just simmer and bubble  inside us.  We have moments where we feel resentful, angry and are frustrated.  You feel like everything is pushing at you.  It wears on you and you become this person you do recognize anymore - moody, withdrawn, sad, or negative.
  • A Gratitude Practice
    • Lowers stress
    • Helps you be more resilient
    • Encourages healthier behaviors
    • Makes you happier

Shift 3:   Schedule Time Away

• You are so exhausted and find yourself with no energy and for me it was I cried at the drop of a pin or I my moods were out of control.  You talk yourself out of it. Why? 
  • Benefits of time away
    • Boost mental health
    • Gives you time for physical activity
    • Provides opportunity for fun and socialization
    • Develops better ways of caring for your loved one

All 3 of these shifts require some trial and error and some planning.   You need to find what works for you.  

To conclude today - you have choice each day.    Caregiving is not easy.  Caregiving pushes us to higher levels of stress, anxiety, guilt and pressure.   

Based on my experiences, you have to get in front of them and find ways to reduce and release the stresses.   If you don’t it can and will lead to health issues.     

I hope you start a shift today.   Drop me a dm @cathylynnvan and tell me how it’s going.  

If you are looking for more help and working with me - I have a Caregiver Cup Program available which is online training and group coaching.  It starts on November 15.  For more information, go to https://www.cathylan.com/enroll   

Get my free resource:  17 SHIFTS TO TAKE CONTROL OF CAREGIVER STRESS that will take you to the best version of yourself.

Thank you for listening. If you know of another caregiver who could benefit from this podcast, please copy and share this episode.

Follow me by clicking on the links below:

• ➡️ Get my free resource: 17 SHIFTS TO RECUDE CAREGIVER STRESS & SAY GOOD-BYE TO CAREGIVER BURNOUT
• If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat
• CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

Have you ever wanted to quit?  You just want to walk away.  You had enough.  You know it’s not healthy for you, but you you know you can’t leave.

So many of us have these feelings which stop us from having a joyful life.  It prevents us from having what can be a beautiful, amazing caregiver life.

You feel like you have to stay where you are at  and you feel like this hamster on a wheel that never ends and you feel miserable.  You have to get over the belief that quitting is not an option.  

I’m probably shocking you right now by telling you this YOU CAN QUIT.

If something is not right in your life or causing more harm than good, you should look for solutions.   Stop doing what’s not right for you and open up some white space to new choices and opportunities.    If something isn’t right or it feels wrong, you can and should take a serious look at it and change it.  

I know you're probably saying,  I can’t right now.  I am a caregiver and that's the new change I was handed.    But that’s only the surface and until you think deeper, you'll stay stuck.  

Some of us may say:   I will wait unit or it’s not the right time or I’m waiting for a sign to happen or a reason to change.

The sign is now.  You know when things need to change.  You know when you need to pull away and stop, think or quit that part that isn’t right.   Listen to your internal intuition, body and soul.   Then tell yourself “I have to change the situation and myself.   

What happens when you wait or start questioning a change?   Soon you'll talk yourself out of it.   

It’s important that if you recognize that your health is suffering because you are doing too many things.  Well then you want to make changes sooner than later.  Caregiver stress will turn into burnout.  

It’s about beginning sooner than you're ready for.  It'll feel uncomfortable.  It'll feel scary.   But, you need to start taking back the controls.

That’s the whole idea of courage.  You may not know how it will turn out.   You have no idea if it will work.  But that’s the whole idea of Everything is Figureoutable.  Trust in your ability to figure it out.

Let's talk about what NOT to do and that is wait for the perfect day or time to change.  That will never come.  Decide on a day to start.   You may be saying I don’t know how to make the change.  Then think about the next step and plan.  Who will you have to talk to?  What research do you need to do?  What action will you need to take?  What support will you need?What resources do I need?

Don’t wait .  You can make changes.  You have the strength. 

Most caregivers will go through this journey with so many health issues, negativity, self-confidence issues, trauma, lack of hope, and never rebound from this.  You are an amazing woman with free will.  Free will is a gift that you can use right now.   

If your negative thoughts are in the way, pull out your journal and write that resignation letter to your negative mindset and say “i quit” to your negativity.  

If your health is suffering, it’s a clear sign you need to identify your stressors and make drastic changes.   A

Thank you for listening. If you know of another caregiver who could benefit from this podcast, please copy and share this episode.

Follow me by clicking on the links below:

• ➡️ Get my free resource: 17 SHIFTS TO RECUDE CAREGIVER STRESS & SAY GOOD-BYE TO CAREGIVER BURNOUT
• If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat
• CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

Have you said to yourself :  Why don’t I have the energy like I used to have?   Or, I am so tired all the time.   

It’s called caregiver fatigue.   This occurs when you feel emotionally and physically exhausted.  You are wearing out.  You are feeling totally used up due to too many demands.  You are burning out.

• What are your emotional demands?   Your loved one is sick and you can’t make them better.  They demand an extreme degree of physical and emotional care.
• What are your conflicting priorities?   Who else needs your time and energy?   Your family, your children, your boss, your employees, your co-workers,  Trying to meeting everyone’s needs creates conflict and stress.  
• Do you feel ambiguity in your new normal?  You really don’t know exactly what to do, meaning your roles and responsibilities.   
• You workload.  What’s on your plate?  Are you trying to juggle everything?  
• What about all the advocacy responsibilities?  The insurance, medical decisions,  medical visits, doctor conversations and nursing questions.   On top of that, making the hard decisions on finances, home care, hospice care and estate plans.   
• Then there’s the lack of privacy.  Do you feel it?  There is no time to be alone.  There may be many people in and out of your home or your life assisting with some facet of the caregiving all the time.  

These factors may contribute to feelings  that you have no control, or that you don’t have adequate skills or knowledge in this area.  Feeling that you don’t have independence or “say so” in your life.   Feeling you can’t succeed, or that you’re a failure.

When burnout reaches a critical level, it begins to be very evident in your life.  Burnout can manifest itself in various ways, including:  depression, withdrawal, feelings of helplessness or hopelessness, negative emotions, physical fatigue, sleep deprivation or sleep disorders, personal health problems and lowered self-esteem.

What do you do when you recognize this feeling of caregiver fatigue 

• Ask yourself, how are you taking care of yourself?   I know how hard it can be to stop and look at yourself in the mirror and say, you are not well.   
• Be honest and truthful with yourself.   Look at your sleep, nutrition, hydration and exercise.  Look at your schedule from work to family to your loved one’s care.  

When you admit the burn out,  you can start working on you.   Make a commitment.  It may start with a walk each evening after supper or coffee on the porch in the morning with a gratitude journal or food prepping each week or scheduling therapy.  

Now you can’t wake up and say, I’m committed to this great plan.  Take baby steps and just start.  Maybe this week it’s drinking your water.   Remember in this caregiver life you're in, you can’t add more pressure and stress to yourself.  So small steps will be better for you.  

Schedule one evening or day to f

Get my free resource:  17 SHIFTS TO TAKE CONTROL OF CAREGIVER STRESS that will take you to the best version of yourself.

Thank you for listening. If you know of another caregiver who could benefit from this podcast, please copy and share this episode.

Follow me by clicking on the links below:

• ➡️ Get my free resource: 17 SHIFTS TO RECUDE CAREGIVER STRESS & SAY GOOD-BYE TO CAREGIVER BURNOUT
• If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat
• CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

One of the biggest things caregivers are good at is worry.   

• What if Dad doesn’t take is heart medicine?
• What if we can’t find a kidney donor for my husband?
• What if the CT scan shows growth?
• What if I can’t get refinancing for our home to a lower rate because my partner is not employed?

These concerns are legitimate and serious, but constant worry is stressful and will wear you down.  

Too much worry can create anxiety, stop you from the easiest of problem solving and can cause tension in relationships.

Are you an excessive worrier? Perhaps you unconsciously think that if you "worry enough," you can prevent bad things from happening.  But the fact is,  worrying can affect the body in ways that may surprise you. When worrying becomes excessive, it can lead to feelings of high anxiety and even cause you to be physically ill.

But being completely worry-free is unrealistic.  What is realistic is taking steps to reduce and release some of those worries.  

Ways to turn those worries into a productive way of thinking and working through what to do when that worry comes into your thoughts:

1. Ask yourself,   why am I worrying?    Occasional stress and anxiety is a normal part of life. You might worry about things like health, money, or family problems. But people with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) feel extremely worried or feel nervous about these and other things—even when there is little or no reason to worry about them.
2. Get your thoughts and worries on paper.  Write all your caregiving worries down on paper.  Yes, all of them.  Just writing things down helps you let go of some of the worries you’ve bottled up.  Seeing your thoughts in black and white can give you a better perspective and help you identify the specific things you’re concerned about.
3. Separate productive vs. unproductive worries.  Caregivers have both productive and unproductive worries.  An unproductive worry is something we have no control over, like the fact that your mom’s health is declining.  A productive worry is something where you can do something to improve the situation.  For example, if you’re worried that your dad will fall in the house, you can declutter and make safety updates to reduce the risk of falling.  
4. Ask “what’s the worst that could happen?”  Tackle a worry head-on and ask yourself “what’s the worst that could happen if this worry came true?”  Then, think about what you would do if it does happen. Preparing for a situation can reduce the power that worry has over you.

Worry is a negative thinking pattern that can be contributing to your anxiety symptoms. Negative thinking tends to be a learned habit that can impact your mood and anxiety. Since negative thinking typically develops over time, it can be unlearned and replaced with more positive views.

Identify you ca

Get my free resource:  17 SHIFTS TO TAKE CONTROL OF CAREGIVER STRESS that will take you to the best version of yourself.

Thank you for listening. If you know of another caregiver who could benefit from this podcast, please copy and share this episode.

Follow me by clicking on the links below:

• ➡️ Get my free resource: 17 SHIFTS TO RECUDE CAREGIVER STRESS & SAY GOOD-BYE TO CAREGIVER BURNOUT
• If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat
• CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration