self help tips

In this week’s episode, I dig into

• Looking at the foundation that makes up your current life
• Demolitioning that foundation
• Educating yourself with healthy habits, mindset and routines
• Pouring in a new foundation that is solid and stable

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Show Notes:
We often will consider our own excuses to be reasons because we don’t want to admit that we aren’t doing what we should be or that a mistake has been made. 

But honestly, it doesn’t matter what you decided to tell yourself to mask the truth, it’s still an excuse you are trying to pass off as a reason to avoid something you need to just find the courage to face. 

In the book of Joshua, God is raising up Joshua to take the lead, now that Moses has died. And God is telling him several times to not be afraid, to believe that God has led him to this point & has his back. God also reminds him to follow in the ways Moses taught him because these are instructions God gave to Moses. Basically, do what God tells you to do & everything will turn out as it should.

Joshua 1:9, “This is my command-be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

If you stay still too long, you might lack the experience & abilities needed to move onto that next season, the next level in life you’re supposed to ascend to. God is going to be there to help you with everything, but you STILL have to do the work.

Proverbs 13:4, “The soul of a lazy man desires, and has nothing; But the soul of the diligent shall be made rich.”

Desire to have something will only get you as far as your mind can take you. But that’s not enough to make it happen. You have to take action.

Here are your top 5 reasons that are actually excuses for why you’re not seeking any personal growth:

1. Blaming External Circumstances
   1. It’s common to blame the environment you grew up in or the environment you’re currently in for why you’re not pursuing personal growth.
   2. We also can blame other people in our life that we claim are getting in our way of seeking personal growth.
2. Lack of Motivation
   1. Instead of developing discipline we often lean on motivation to always be there to pick us up & keep us going.
3. Past Failures
   1. It’s reliving the pain that happened in the past & allowing those experiences to prevent us from trying again, whether it’s the same thing or something new.
4. Fear of Judgement
   1. It’s fear of judgment, other people’s opinions, and being rejected that prevent people from working on themselves because they are so wrapped up in worry & anxiety of the worst-case scenario happening.
   2. Proverbs 29:25, “Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety.”
   3. Galatians 1:10, “Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.”
5. Lack of Awareness
   1. Some people really aren’t aware that they should be working on themselves to become their best selves.
   2. Or they aren’t sure WHAT to work on.
   3. We should try to be working on something we know will benefit us. Just because there isn’t anything that is broken doesn’t mean there isn’t anything that couldn’t use a tune-up.

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Show Notes:
Making the decision to accept & tolerate someone you don’t care for is really a grown-up decision to make. It’s real maturity to just put aside your feelings and any past experiences you’ve had with them and ALLOW the relationship to be better. Because it CAN get better. If we allow people to change and be different than they have in the past, then the relationship can get better and everyone can have a better experience.

I believe one of the biggest issues we have when dealing with people we don’t like is holding past offenses against them without any end in sight. We continuously remind ourselves of how they hurt us in the past and how those things have betrayed our trust and led to us feeling some type of way.

I think there are several possibilities for why we struggle with this.

• When you let something go, you might believe that there will be no justice for what happened, so you take it upon yourself to make sure there is by holding it against the person until you feel like it’s been enough (or everyone knows).
• You might not have taken to time to really unpack what happened. You haven’t evaluated why you felt the way you did, what the actual root cause was, and why you believe holding onto this is beneficial to you.
• Maybe you’re dealing with insecurity issues and don’t think you are being treated as fairly as this other person is and continue to hold a grudge and contempt for them until you feel how people view YOU has changed.

Regardless of what the reason is, we need to be making an effort to be more accepting of those people we don’t like or see as enemies and who have caused us pain.

The Bible tells us, in several different verses, to love your enemies & those that persecute you.

💖 Luke 6:27-28, “But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those that curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.”

Here are the steps I take when I am working on accepting someone I don’t really like or that has caused me pain in the past:

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
   1. Be honest about how you feel. It’s healthy & normal to have feelings. It’s what you do next that can cause the trouble.
2. Practice Empathy
   1. Try to see it from the other person’s point of view.
3. Truly Forgive Them
   1. Don’t keep this pain. Forgiveness is meant for you. It allows you to move on from what happened & no longer allow it to cause you pain.
   2. Colossians 3:13, “bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”
4. Stay in the Present With Them
   1. Don’t live life in the past with this person. Give them the chance to change.
5. Still Set & Enforce Boundaries Between You Both
   1. If you’re willing to continue having a relationship with this person or are forced to because of a common connection, like work or school or a community you’re involved in, you can still create boundaries to keep yourself safe.

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Show Notes:
You have more to give than you think. We all do.

I was recently sitting at my desk, thinking about how amazing it is that people are connecting with the way I am sharing about God & deepening my relationship with Him by really getting into studying the Bible. And I was in kind of a prayer/chatting to myself and to God, when I said something like, “I’m surprised that people are relating to me so well, even though I’m still new here, but You’re using me where I’m at right now [in life] and others may be at that same place and appreciate the way I go about it because of that.” Basically, I was coming to the conclusion that God IS using me to do His work right where I’m at in life. And immediately after having that thought, I went to look up scriptures that aligned with that thinking (I’m doing that a lot, lately, lol).

Here is the scripture that hit me most when thinking about being beneficial despite our weakness:

2 Corinthians 12:9, “Each time he said, My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness. So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.”

There were many people in the Bible that struggled with feeling like they were enough to do what God was asking them to do. Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt, Paul (our new role model for confidence) felt inadequate to preach the gospel before realizing God’s power was made perfect in his weakness, and Gideon needed signs from God to confirm he was actually being called to lead the battle against the Midianites.

Today I want to chat with you about how we have way more to give than we think we do. We are capable of so much, regardless of education, time, experience, or even how we feel about ourselves. We can do amazing things if we only believed in ourselves & no longer allowed the doubt to take over our minds. And to that note, today I am going to share with you 5 tips you can use to push through feelings of inadequacy & self-doubt.

1. Find the Source of Your Feelings
   1. What are your feelings based on? 
   2. Once you know where your feelings are based, you can combat those feelings with positive ones and ones that better reflect the truth.
2. Take Action & Risks
   1. Set a few small goals 
   2. Do an activity outside of your comfort zone 
   3. Bring attention to your idea/opinion 
3. Learn New Skills
   1. Take a class to better a skill or learn a new one
   2. Try something you never thought you would or that has nothing to do with anything you do now.
4. Lean On God
   1. Pray & seek God’s wisdom, guidance & strength to make it through moments of feeling less than & high self-doubt.
   2. Remember that God can use us despite our weaknesses or inexperience. 
5. Have a Balanced View of Your Strengths & Weaknesses
   1. We focus way too much on our weaknesses. 
   2. There needs to be a balance between reviewing what needs to be strengthened and what is already really strong.
   3. No one is good at everything.

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Show Notes:
The words we say to ourselves and to others carry heavy things.

Those heavy things can be really good and encouraging and helpful, but it could also be attacking and hurtful and vicious. It just depends on what our motives are, where our heart is, and how much we are allowing our emotions to control our actions & responses.

We can have positive intentions when we use our words, when it’s for building people up, helping them solve a problem or offer advice/knowledge that is requested. But there are also negative intentions with our words, sometimes when we don’t even realize it. We can say harsh, evil things to others to hurt them on purpose, we can also spread false information for our own gain and say horrible things because we allow our emotions to be in control, which ends up allowing ourselves to react to whatever the situation is.

Again, it just depends on what our intent is. Regardless of the intent, there are consequences to our words. 

We aren’t perfect, so we WILL falter, sin & make mistakes. But we NEED to take responsibility for these things & do our best to change our ways.

Whether you’re a Christian or not, you can understand how important it is that we choose what we say carefully and know there will be consequences to our choices.
Let me share with you some ways we can know we are using our words for good & in life-giving purposes, rather than negative, harmful ways:

1. Speaking Words of Humility
   1. If we are talking about things that point to our own faults & struggles, then we are sharing about our own experiences & struggles. We could be sharing these things to be a cautionary tale for someone else, how we recovered & got through it or to demonstrate how we have grown in that specific area.
2. Speaking Words of Truth
   1. When we aren’t spreading false information, spreading knowledge that isn’t ours (gossip) or using our words to manipulate others, we are using our words in a positive way.
3. Speaking Words of Compassion
   1. Being kind & compassionate to others and ourselves is a good way to use our words. We end up comforting those that are hurting, including ourselves if we speak this way in our minds & out loud.
4. Speaking Words of Building Others Up
   1. When we are encouraging others or ourselves, we are using our words in a wonderfully positive & helpful way. We are doing the work of helping someone no longer sit in their pit of despair, but to pick themselves back up again.
   2. We do need to be careful we are not doing the work of encouragement for the sake of controlling what they do or manipulating them into something that is only beneficial for you. It needs to be free of selfish gain & of a true, giving heart.
5. Speaking Words of Wisdom & Correction
   1. When someone is in the wrong, we can be gentle, yet purposeful with our words in helping them figure out what they should be doing instead of what is currently happening. But this NEEDS to happen without tearing them down or trying to induce shame in them in the process.

Watch the Video Version of RPG: https://www.youtube.com/@realpositivegirl/podcasts
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Visit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzo
Email Me: realpositivegirlpodcast@gmail.com

Show Notes:
When we think of being productive, it’s often the picture of someone going above and beyond what is asked and sometimes making others look bad. And not on purpose, of course, because those types of thoughts are only attributed to mindsets that see and do life through their insecurities.

Having the focus of being productive is for everyone. We just need to know how to tap into it, which is what we will chat about in a bit. But first, here are a few reasons WHY productivity is important to our daily lives.

When we are more productive, we can focus on our priorities associated with accomplishing our goals & actually get to the finish line. It’s taking the time to be clear about your goals and using your time wisely while being productive that helps it all work together.

Often being productive can help reduce stress because you’ve taken the time to outline tasks & to-do's in your life, as well as allocate your time enough to not have to worry about what needs to happen.

If you’re someone that struggles with discipline, becoming better at productivity will only increase your ability to be self-disciplined because you have to take the initiative to do the work, whether you want to or not. And if you are currently working on discipline, you’ll get better at being productive along the way.

The last reason is my favorite because it aligns well with my brain. When we work on becoming more productive, we also become more creative because we find new ways to get things done. Sometimes this means done more efficiently, too. But you get the opportunity to go about things in a new way that could be more fun & enjoyable.

Let’s get into the list of tips I have for you that will help you become more productive in your everyday life:

1. Plan Out Your Day 
   1. Make lists of your tasks.
   2. Allocate time, even in a flexible way.
   3. Be careful with multitasking.
2. Create a Priority List from Your Plan 
   1. Highlight the Urgent & Important (have to get done) Tasks
   2. Consider what’s next based on how impactful getting it done will be
   3. Be realistic about how much time you have
3. Make Bigger Tasks Into Smaller Tasks
4. Create Goals 
   1. Reasonable Goals
   2. Specific Goals
5. Work on Time Management Skills 
   1. Eliminate Distractions
   2. Review how well your follow-through is going in the middle of the day to maybe readjust your plan.
6. Enforce Personal Boundaries 
   1. Say ‘No’ More Often
   2. Take Breaks
   3. Don’t Be Too Influenced By Others 
      1. Know who you should and should not listen to when creating your plans, goals & implementing those things.
7. Celebrate Your Milestones & Accomplishments

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Show Notes:
I definitely was the dependent one in relationships. That was my biggest toxic trait. Sometimes it still is.

I was a people pleaser, so it was easy to lose my identity to become whatever was needed in the relationship.

And that’s the best way to end a relationship really quick, be taken advantage of (if the person knows what they are doing), and get further away from understanding who you are & what you are worth and capable of.

Background & Review:

• Toxic traits are considered negative behaviors that can be harmful to one or both of the partners in a relationship.
• This can escalate to really unhealthy and unstable relationships that cause more damage for 1 or both partners.
• There are a number of toxic traits that can be engaged in and today we are going to chat about the ones I find most important.
• If you start to notice yourself or your partner exhibiting toxic traits, you need to take the extra step of getting help with this. Whether you speak with someone you trust, speak with a therapist or counselor, set personal boundaries, or end the relationship, you gotta do something. And sometimes you will end up doing all of these things.

List of Toxic Traits:

1. Possessiveness
   1. Partner tries to control who the other spends time with
   2. Jealous with outside people interactions
2. Lack of Communication
   1. Tension & resentment are created with no communication
   2. When conversations are shut down because they don’t wanna talk with no follow up time
   3. Refusal to communicate what’s going on, feelings, concerns, ect.
3. Blaming
   1. Partner refuses to take responsibility for their actions
   2. Blames everything that goes wrong on their partner
4. Verbal or Physical Abuse
   1. Used for control or intimidation
5. Disrespect
   1. Disregarding feelings, belittling them, making them feel inferior.
6. Dependent
   1. When someone struggles with their own mental health, they can cling to their partner for emotional and / or financial support. This is unbalanced.
   2. This is overwhelming & exhausting for the partner.
   3. Inability for them to function without their partner, leading to anxiety or desperation.
   4. Lack of autonomy happens when someone loses their independence & is too reliant on their partner. They lose their send of identity.
7. Emotional Manipulation
   1. Gaslighting 
      1. Trying to get your partner to think they are crazy and doubt their own thoughts, experiences & feelings. And to push them to feel like they are thinking outside of reality.
   2. Guilt-tripping 
      1. Pouring on the guilt when something doesn’t go their way or trying to make the other feel bad for standing up for themselves.
   3. Love bombing 
      1. Pouring on the love and appreciation in an attempt to get the other to do what they want and feel so overwhelmed with the attention and gestures that they are caught off guard to comply with whatever requests come up.

Watch the Video Version of RPG: https://www.youtube.com/@realpositivegirl/podcasts
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Email Me: realpositivegirlpodcast@gmail.com

Here is our top tip from the week... If there’s a window in your office, FIGHT TO SIT NEXT TO IT. Wrestle your co-workers; fight the intern; get someone fired if you need to! SIT BY THAT DAMN WINDOW. Research shows, it’s going to make your entire life better.

Like the podcast? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify! It helps us reach more like-minded/cool/smart people like you!

LINKS

• Follow @thespace_podcast on Instagram   
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CREDITS 
Host: Casey Donovan @caseydonovan88 
Writer: Amy Molloy @amymolloy 
Executive Producer: Elise Cooper 
Editor: Adrian Walton 

Listen to more great podcasts at novapodcasts.com.au   

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We are back with the final episode (Pt 2/2) and my conversation with the incredible Colleen Wynia from Heart Link Consulting. Colleen,  a Reset Your Vibe Coach who shares with us her true-life stories and wealth of knowledge, guidance,  information share as she has meandered through this thing we call life to find her passion as a Visionary, Spiritual Intuitive, Quantum Energy Facility, Grief Healer, and Wellness Educator.

In this episode we touch on;

📍The online program/course "Crystallize Your Vision" Energize your Pathway to Clarity, Confidence and Creativity
📍The attributes that make up the "5 Point Star System" which forms the basis for her teachings
📍Navigating those Forks in The Road we are often faced with in life & how our intuition comes into play
📍What the Covid pandemic has meant to Colleen and what she thinks it means for all of us
📍We end with some fun personal questions like "What is your favorite color" this sure would seem like a silly one but there is a method to my madness and her answer gives us food for thought - have to tune in to find out more

We end with some magnificent inspiring final words from Colleen

This is Part Two of a Two-Part Episode and Colleen leaves us with much food for thought I promise!.  We hope you enjoy this conversation between two friends. Don't forget to tune into Part One if you haven't yet as there is a ton of information share.

Follow - ✔️> to stay tuned for up and coming episodes
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Colleen Wynia - Social Media:
www.youtube.com/colleenwynia
www.facebook.com/coachcolleenwynia
www.instagram.com/colleenwynia

Crystallize Your Vision program highlight:
https://heartlinkconsulting.com/crystallize-your-vision/

Website:
https://www.colleenwynia.com

Connect with [KMKY HOST] PAULA LAMB:
EMAIL: kmkywithpaula@gmail.com
Visit Here for Social Media Links, Email & More | https://linktr.ee/kmkywithpaula

PODCAST INFO

• A new podcast episode drops every Monday.
• Music credit: L-Ray Music, Courtesy of Shutterstock, Inc.
• Learn more about your host, Cordelia, by clicking  here
• Be sure to follow Cordelia on Instagram: @codependentrecovery

---------
WORKBOOK + COMMUNITY + RESOURCES

• Are you going through a breakup or divorce?  Here is the link to the 98-page workbook.  Print version + ebook version available worldwide.
• Check out Cordelia's book recommendations here
  • Disclosure: Cordelia is an affiliate of Bookshop.org and she will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.
• Want to join the community (i.e., community club or book club)? Click here
• Want access to free resources? Click here
• Interested in any other affiliate links? Click here
  • Note: affiliate links mean Cordelia  earns a commission if you click through and make a purchase.

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• ALL LISTENERS OF WE HEAL TOGETHER PODCAST GET 10% OFF THEIR FIRST MONTH. SIMPLY CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP: www.betterhelp.com/cordelia
  • Disclosure: This podcast is sponsored by Better Help. Cordelia will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.

GUEST INFORMATION: WHITNEY GOODMAN

• Follow her on Instagram: @sitwithwhit
• Whitney’s Course ($7.99): Press Pause: How To Put The Brakes On Burnout
• Sign up for her Emotions 101 Course
• Interested in other courses, worksheets, and workbooks by Whitney? Click here to access her store

---------

PODCAST INFO

• A new podcast episode drops every Monday.
• Music credit: L-Ray Music, Courtesy of Shutterstock, Inc.
• Learn more about your host, Cordelia, by clicking  here
• Be sure to follow Cordelia on Instagram: @codependentrecovery

---------
WORKBOOK + COMMUNITY + RESOURCES

• Want access to free resources? Click here
• Need help finding a therapist? Click here
• Check out Cordelia's book recommendations here
  • Disclosure: Cordelia is an affiliate of Bookshop.org and she will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.
• Are you going through a breakup or divorce?  Here is the link to the 98-page workbook.  Print version + ebook version available worldwide.
• Want to join the community (i.e., community club or book club)? Click here
• Interested in any other affiliate links? Click here
  • Note: affiliate links mean Cordelia earns a commission if you click through and make a purchase.

When we start to put ourselves first, we need to also do that with our mental health. We need to take the time to be honest & vulnerable with ourselves, by being truthful with how we are doing & what we need to change to become our best selves.

Show Notes:

• You need to put yourself first & take care of yourself, which includes being on top of your mental health.
• But I think a lot of the time we put our mental health on the back burner because other things seem more important. Or other people seem more important. Or we just can’t fathom taking the time to really assess how we are because we know it’s not good.
• And it’s the toughest when you know you are doing well & you need to check yourself & be real. Being real, even with yourself isn’t an easy task. Because no one will know whether you are or not. And you can fake many emotions. Or put on a mask & just pretend you are fine. Super easy. But this behavior isn’t going to help you become your best self. You won’t even really know who you are if you continue with this type of behavior.
• So taking the time to evaluate how you are doing by asking yourself some in-depth questions can really help you get an idea of what you should work on. As long as you are truthful with yourself. And doing this weekly is a really good start to checking in with yourself. 
• Here are some questions to ask yourself to check in on your mental health:
• 1. What’s taking up most of your headspace right now?
• 2. Have you been having trouble with sleep?
• 3. What are you grateful for right now?
• 4. What is something you can do in the next 2 days that would be good for you?
• 5. Do you have anything to forgive yourself for?
• 6. Are you spending time with people that are good for you?

Thank you again for listening & I hope this episode was helpful.

Come visit me on my Instagram page @sabrinajoyperozzo to say hi or on Clubhouse @sabrinajperozzo to chat!

Visit www.sabrinajoy.com for more content & blog posts!

Have any questions, comments or feedback?  Send me an email at realpositivegirlpodcast@gmail.com!

See you for the next episode!

Watch the Video Version of RPG: https://www.youtube.com/@realpositivegirl/podcasts
Buy the Planner on AMAZON!: https://amzn.to/3WwthT2
Visit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzo
Email Me: realpositivegirlpodcast@gmail.com

Hello Everyone & Welcome Back to the RealPositiveGirl Podcast!

Thank you so much for joining me again!

This week's theme for the podcast is: Practical Self Care Tips

This week I want to talk to share with you some super practical self-care tips.

Sometimes it's just best to get back to some basic tips to improve your life. We can talk about the nitty-gritty & in-depth topics all day long, but sometimes looking at things from a high level can make it a little easier to implement into your life.

Here are some notes from today's episode:

• I love spending time alone. I love spending time reading alone, taking a bubble bath in a house alone, watching television alone. I like being alone.
• I also like spending time with people, too, but I am more of an introvert, so I need that downtime to reset & be ready for more people time. 
• And it’s funny because I never really understood this about myself until I was a full on adult, like after college. When I was younger I would make a point to spend a ton of time with other people, but that wasn’t because I necessarily loved being with people all time or needed that type of environment, but to keep myself safe from my living situation.
• And there were times as a child that I enjoyed being alone, but it wasn’t as enjoyable as it was when I left for college or now as a full grown adult. Now I just soak in silence & the opportunities I have to just chill & not do anything. 
• And a big part of this, like many others, is because I already do so much on the regular. I’m sure you’re the same. We all get super busy, caught up in demanding schedules or responsibilities that prevent us from giving ourselves the proper amount of personal care.
• But we need the recharge time. We need to reset. We need to refresh so we can keep hitting life hard.
• And we also get to know ourselves better the more time we spend alone. You can spend time realigning with who you are & what you stand for, what you’re all about.
• So, today instead of giving you tips on how to spend time alone, I am going to instead give you more concrete reasons why you should make time to be alone on the regular:
• 1. Time to discover who you are & what you want. (be more comfortable in your own skin, think about what you want in comparison to what others think or could be influencing you to do.)
• 2. Less distractions equals more productivity & less negativity.
• 3. Boosts creativity & new interests.

Please share this podcast with anyone that may need this encouragement!

Thank you again for listening & I hope this episode was helpful.

Come visit me on my Instagram page @sabrinajoyperozzo to say hi!

Have any questions, comments or feedback?  Send me an email at realpositivegirlpodcast@gmail.com or visit my website: www.sabrinajoy.com

I am also accepting donations via my Patreon & PayPal. Both can be found on the donation page on my website.

See you for the next episode!

Watch the Video Version of RPG: https://www.youtube.com/@realpositivegirl/podcasts
Buy the Planner on AMAZON!: https://amzn.to/3WwthT2
Visit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzo
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Hello Everyone & Welcome Back to the RealPositiveGirl Podcast!

Thank you so much for joining me again!

Happy Thursday!

This week's theme for the podcast is: How to Know You're Growing

This week I want to share with you some things you might start to notice on your growth journey that are signs you are growing & changing. 

Sometimes when we have been working hard on our journey to becoming our best selves, it can be hard to see if we have made any process, especially when you are in the thick of it. Which is why I wanted to share with you some signs to be aware of to know that you are growing.

Here are some notes from today's episode:

• This is a tough one. It’s so easy to get caught up in what others think about us because we can all be so insecure. We can forget who we are & make the choice to give up our own power & give it to whoever is willing to step in & give us their opinion, no matter how distorted.
• We can also allow what others think or what we believe they are thinking about us, keep us from taking action, following through with desires & goals & being the person we were meant to be.
• I know it’s a universal desire for everyone to be liked & accepted, but that isn’t going to be the thing that helps you create happiness in your life.
• But have you ever thought about how you actually feel after you take in someone else’s opinion or let their opinion drive you to a decision you probably wouldn’t have made on your own? It doesn’t feel very good.
• It’s said that people would care a lot less about what others thought of them if they knew that people don’t care about them as much as they thought. And it’s true. But I believe it’s the few people that do enjoy sharing their opinions with us about us that get in our heads & create the mindset that everyone else is the same. But that isn’t true.
• Let’s chat about some ways we can work on caring less what others think about us:
• 1. Stop apologizing for who you are.
• 2. Stop overanalyzing everything.
• 3. Stop trying to be perfect.

Please share this podcast with anyone that may need this encouragement!

Thank you again for listening & I hope this episode was helpful.

Come visit me on my Instagram page @sabrinajoyperozzo or @realpositivegirlpodcast to say hi!

Have any questions, comments or feedback?  Send me an email at realpositivegirlpodcast@gmail.com or visit my website: www.sabrinajoy.com

See you for Friday's episode!

Watch the Video Version of RPG: https://www.youtube.com/@realpositivegirl/podcasts
Buy the Planner on AMAZON!: https://amzn.to/3WwthT2
Visit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzo
Email Me: realpositivegirlpodcast@gmail.com

Hello Everyone & Welcome Back to the RealPositiveGirl Podcast!

Thank you so much for joining me again!

Happy Tuesday!

This week's theme for the podcast is: How to Know You're Growing

This week I want to share with you some things you might start to notice on your growth journey that are signs you are growing & changing. 

Sometimes when we have been working hard on our journey to becoming our best selves, it can be hard to see if we have made any process, especially when you are in the thick of it. Which is why I wanted to share with you some signs to be aware of to know that you are growing.

Here are some notes from today's episode:

• I talk about this all the time. Mistakes are one of the best ways to grow & learn & change in the best ways. And taking up responsibility is the same, you need to carry the weight of the things you are truly responsible for because by trying to pawn those things off on someone else, you are only making yourself out to be a victim or selfish or both.
• Taking responsibilities for your actions will not only create healthy relationships with others, but it will also empower you to know you have control over what you do with your life, which is important because a lot of times we think we aren’t in control of what is going on. This is really only a facade you are telling yourself because of fear, uncertainty, previous experiences of shame or guilt or anything else that is plaguing you.
• When you make mistakes, go through failures, do things you may end up regretting, it can be really tough to accept that those things have happened. A lot of times it is much easier for us to blame the situation, another person or even the universe in general than to own up to what happened, learn from it & move forward.
• And obviously the biggest part you are missing out on is learning from those experiences & getting the growth that will help you through the next part of your life. Which is kind of a bummer. How are you supposed to experience personal growth if you choose not to grow from any experiences?
• Also, I want you to think about how immature & untrusting you sound when you are trying to push off the blame of something you know in your heart you are responsible for.
• Let’s chat about some ways you can work on owning your mistakes & responsibilities:
• 1. Stop blaming others.
• 2. Know what you want. (It’s easier to take responsibility for your actions when you can identify the reasons why you made those decisions because you know what you want).
• 3. Let go of your excuses.(You always have a choice)

Please share this podcast with anyone that may need this encouragement!

Thank you again for listening & I hope this episode was helpful.

Come visit me on my Instagram page @sabrinajoyperozzo or @realpositivegirlpodcast to say hi!

Have any questions, comments or feedback?  Send me an email at realpositivegirlpodcast@gmail.com or visit my website: www.sabrinajoy.com

See you for Wednesday's episode!

Watch the Video Version of RPG: https://www.youtube.com/@realpositivegirl/podcasts
Buy the Planner on AMAZON!: https://amzn.to/3WwthT2
Visit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzo
Email Me: realpositivegirlpodcast@gmail.com

Podcast Info

• A new podcast episode drops every Monday.
• Music credit: L-Ray Music, Courtesy of Shutterstock, Inc.
• Learn more about your host, Cordelia, by clicking here
• Be sure to follow Cordelia on Instagram: @codependentrecovery
• Want to help me make this podcast better?  Take an anonymous survey here.

---------
WORKBOOK + COMMUNITY + RESOURCES

• Want access to free resources? Click here
• Need help finding a therapist? Click here
• Check out Cordelia's book recommendations here
  • Disclosure: Cordelia is an affiliate of Bookshop.org and she will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.
• Are you going through a breakup or divorce?  Here is the link to the 98-page workbook.  Print version + ebook version available worldwide.
• Want to join the community (i.e., community club or book club)? Click here
• Interested in any other affiliate links? Click here
  • Note: affiliate links mean Cordelia earns a commission if you click through and make a purchase.

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CITATIONS FOR TODAY'S EPISODE

• Tools to help you figure it out--

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MOVIE/BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS

• Gaslight 1944 Film (Rent or Buy on Apple)
• Gaslight 1944 Film (Wikipedia page)
• The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life by Dr. Robert Stern

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INSTAGRAM POSTS I'VE DONE ON TIPS + SIGNS

• Tools to Help You if You are Being Gaslighted
• Questions to Ask to Figure Out if You are Being Gaslighted
• 10 Things to Do if You’re Being Gaslighted
• Best Ways to Handle being Gaslighted

--
RESOURCES FOR SURVIVORS

• Google Drive full of resources for survivors
• Need help? Tons of organizations here
• Need a counselor? Check this PDF out

Podcast Info

• A new podcast episode drops every Monday.
• Music credit: L-Ray Music, Courtesy of Shutterstock, Inc.
• Learn more about your host, Cordelia, by clicking here
• Be sure to follow Cordelia on Instagram: @codependentrecovery
• Want to help me make this podcast better?  Take an anonymous survey here.

---------
WORKBOOK + COMMUNITY + RESOURCES

• Want access to free resources? Click here
• Need help finding a therapist? Click here
• Check out Cordelia's book recommendations here
  • Disclosure: Cordelia is an affiliate of Bookshop.org and she will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.
• Are you going through a breakup or divorce?  Here is the link to the 98-page workbook.  Print version + ebook version available worldwide.
• Want to join the community (i.e., community club or book club)? Click here
• Interested in any other affiliate links? Click here
  • Note: affiliate links mean Cordelia earns a commission if you click through and make a purchase.

--------
CITATIONS FOR TODAY'S EPISODE

• Gaslight 1944 Film (Rent or Buy on Apple)
• Gaslight 1944 Film (Wikipedia page)
• Remake Chronicles Article
• Definition of gaslighting: Abramson, K. (2014). Turning up the lights on gaslighting. Philosophical Perspectives, 281, 1–30
• Dorpat, Theodore L. (1996). Gaslighting, the Double Whammy, Interrogation, and Other Methods of Covert Control in Psychotherapy and Psychoanalysis.  Northvale, NJ: Jason Aronson. pp. 31–46. ISBN 978-1-56821-828-1. OCLC 34548677. 
  • “In order to be effective, gaslighting depends on first convincing the victim that his thinking is distorted and secondly persuading him that the victimizer's ideas are the correct and true ones.” – Page 45
• More likely to stay in abusive relationship (the hotline)
• Gaslighting Techniques
• Sarkis, Stephanie (2018). Gaslighting: Recognize Manipulative and Emotionally Abusive People – and Break Free. Da Capo Press. ISBN 978-0738284668. OCLC 1023486127 (Triangulation)

--
MOVIE/BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS

• Gaslight 1944 Film (Rent or Buy on Apple)
• Gaslight 1944 Film (Wikipedia page)
• The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life by Dr. Robert Stern

---

INSTAGRAM POSTS I'VE DONE ON TIPS + SIGNS

• Tools to Help You if You are Being Gaslighted
• Questions to Ask to Figure Out if You are Being Gaslighted
• 10 Things to Do if You’re Being Gaslighted
• Best Ways to Handle being Gaslighted

--
RESOURCES FOR SURVIVORS

• Google Drive full of resources for survivors
• Need help? Tons of organizations here
• Need a counselor? Check this PDF out

Podcast Info

• A new podcast episode drops every Monday.
• Music credit: L-Ray Music, Courtesy of Shutterstock, Inc.
• Learn more about your host, Cordelia, by clicking here
• Be sure to follow Cordelia on Instagram: @codependentrecovery
• Want to help me make this podcast better?  Take an anonymous survey here.

---------
WORKBOOK + COMMUNITY + RESOURCES

• Want access to free resources? Click here
• Need help finding a therapist? Click here
• Check out Cordelia's book recommendations here
  • Disclosure: Cordelia is an affiliate of Bookshop.org and she will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.
• Are you going through a breakup or divorce?  Here is the link to the 98-page workbook.  Print version + ebook version available worldwide.
• Want to join the community (i.e., community club or book club)? Click here
• Interested in any other affiliate links? Click here
  • Note: affiliate links mean Cordelia earns a commission if you click through and make a purchase.

--------
CITATIONS FOR TODAY'S EPISODE

1. The apology is not the only time to talk about [Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Harriet Lerner, PhD]
2. Only apologize if you mean it
3. Say it once [Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Harriet Lerner, PhD]
4. Keep it short [Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Harriet Lerner, PhD]
5. Don’t use it as a device to shut someone up [Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Harriet Lerner, PhD] or to get what you want
6. Don't overdo or make it over the top [Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Harriet Lerner, PhD]
7. Watch your body language
8. Start it with I’m sorry or I apologize (Mindtools)
9. Spell out the mistake (Mindtools)
10. Be sincere and authentic (Mindtools)
11. Don’t make excuses (Mindtools)
12. Own your impact
13. Say what you should have done
14. Listen to the other person
15. Don’t demand forgiveness
16. Keep the focus on your actions—and not on the other person’s response
17. Don't get caught up on who started on it or who is to blame
18. State your future plans to make amends
19. Do your best to not repeat the behavior
20. Don’t expect things to go back to normal immediately

BONUS TIP: Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Harriet Lerner, PhD

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BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS

• Why Won't You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts by Harriet Lerner, PhD