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    3 Traits that Negatively Affect Our Thoughts & How to Gradually Break Free from Your Limitations

    enJune 30, 2023
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    Podcast Summary

    • From Monk to Motivational Speaker: Jay Shetty's 10-Year Journey of Reconnecting and Finding Himself AgainLife transitions take time and effort. Reconnecting with ourselves and our surroundings is essential for personal growth and success. Avoid comparing our journey to others' highlight reels online.

      The transition from being a monk to becoming a motivational speaker and author was a 10-year journey for Jay Shetty. After leaving the monastery, he faced challenges in finding work as people didn't see his monk experience as transferable skills. He spent time reconnecting with society and relearning about current events and popular culture. This process of reintegration and reconnecting helped him find his true self again. It's important to remember that life transitions take time and can be difficult. We shouldn't compare our journeys to others' highlight reels online. Taking the necessary time and effort to reconnect with ourselves and our surroundings can lead to personal growth and success.

    • Embracing Change and Defying Society's Norms.Don't let fear and societal expectations hold you back from pursuing your dreams. Embrace change, ignore age and qualifications, and have the courage to try new things.

      Allow yourself to change and grow. Don't be afraid to switch from feeling like a failure to realizing that you're allowed to change your mind and strive for more. Don't let society's predetermined plans and timelines dictate your life. Disconnect from societal norms and live the life you want. Don't let age or qualifications limit you. The worst advice is believing you're too old, too young, or underqualified. Embrace the shift in the world where people are doing what they want when they want. Don't let others discourage you from pursuing your dreams. Trying something out is the only way to know if it will work.

    • Filtering insecurities, adopting a middle approach, and embracing well-intentioned advice for a better quality of life.Recognize and filter out insecurities, consider a middle approach for success, and embrace well-intentioned advice to transform and improve life.

      When receiving or giving advice, it is important to filter out insecurities and issues. People often project their limitations onto others, but it is crucial to recognize and not adopt them. The fear and insecurity of others should not dictate our own decisions. Taking a middle approach can be beneficial, considering both safety and passion. Transitioning gradually can provide support and create great work. It is essential to understand that when loved ones give advice, they are usually well-intentioned, even if it may seem like poor advice. Living without bitterness or negative feelings towards others is a commitment that leads to a better quality of life. Complaining, comparing, and criticizing are the cancers of the mind that should be avoided in order to maintain control and transform one's life.

    • Shifting from Negative Emotions to Positive Mindset through Mindfulness and ActionInstead of criticizing and comparing others, focus on changing thoughts and actions to improve one's state of mind and cultivate a positive mindset.

      Comparing and criticizing others is a common habit that can lead to insecurity and unsettled feelings. Instead of focusing on negative emotions, it is important to shift our mindset by changing our thoughts and actions. Emphasizing our feelings too much can be detrimental, as they are temporary and ever-changing. By being mindful of our thoughts and behaviors, we can change how we feel. Accepting and acknowledging our negative emotions is necessary, but it is more productive to focus on actionable steps to improve our state of mind. Shifting our perspective from dwelling on feelings to actively changing thoughts and actions can lead to a more positive mindset.

    • Embracing Open Doors and Overcoming Paralysis of ChoiceOpen every door and walk through the ones that stay open. Try everything and let your passion, purpose, and career path unfold naturally in front of you. Embrace new opportunities in your online journey.

      The best advice I've ever received is to start everything and open every door. Some doors will naturally close or won't open, but I should keep walking through the ones that stay open. This advice has helped me overcome the paralysis of choice and procrastination. Instead of trying to figure things out in my head, I should try everything and see what feels right and what stays open. I can't discover my passion, purpose, career path, or hobbies just by thinking about them. I need to let them unfold in front of me. This approach has been instrumental in my online journey and has allowed me to embrace new opportunities.

    • Learning from Failure and Embracing Your Unique Path to SuccessFailure is a natural part of the journey towards success. Instead of just watching others, take chances, learn from mistakes, and forge your own path to fulfillment and success.

      Failure is a common part of every successful person's journey. Even those we admire and look up to have faced rejection and closed doors. It's important to study the lives of those we admire and understand their failures and setbacks. Social media often only shows us people's highlight reels, causing us to forget that everyone goes through tough times. Instead of just following and watching others, we should strive to understand them and learn from their experiences. By taking chances and living our own lives, we can find true fulfillment and success. It's crucial to listen to advice and learn from others' mistakes, paving our own unique path to success.

    • The Benefits of Slowing Down in Your CareerSlowing down in your career allows for more mindful decision-making, while being selective about career choices and surrounding yourself with a strong and supportive team leads to greater impact and success.

      Slowing down in life, especially in one's career, can be beneficial in making more mindful decisions and avoiding future issues. Moving quickly in the beginning may lead to mistakes and the wrong people entering your life. It's important to be selective and thoughtful about career choices and the people you work with. While initially, it may feel necessary to work with anyone and everyone, focusing on building a strong and supportive team becomes crucial. Slowing down doesn't mean achieving less; it can actually make you more impactful. Taking inspiration from artists like Kendrick Lamar, who takes time to create albums, shows that quality takes time and patience.

    • Unlocking Success through Patience, Perseverance, and Self-Belief.Slowing down, believing in oneself, and embracing challenges are essential for discovering hidden talents and reaching full potential.

      Slowing down and finding the right people and opportunities is important for success. It's crucial to focus on creating quality work instead of trying to keep up with others. Many people give up too quickly instead of persevering. The belief of not being good enough is a common lie we tell ourselves, leading to self-sabotage and missed opportunities. Taking risks and giving ourselves a chance can reveal our true potential. Trying new things can uncover hidden talents and abilities we never knew we had. It's important to challenge our own negative beliefs and doubts to unlock our full potential.

    • Overcoming Humiliation and Insecurity: Jay Shetty's Journey to SuccessTaking risks, believing in oneself, embracing growth opportunities, and practicing forgiveness are key elements in overcoming challenges and achieving personal and professional success.

      The key takeaway is that despite facing humiliation and insecurity in his early public speaking experiences, Jay Shetty's determination to overcome his fears and pursue opportunities has led to his successful career. This highlights the importance of taking risks, being honest about one's limitations, and embracing opportunities for growth. It is crucial to recognize that seeking validation from others is not as important as believing in oneself. Furthermore, forgiving others in one's heart is essential for personal growth and freeing oneself from resentment. This story emphasizes the power of resilience, self-belief, and forgiveness in overcoming challenges and achieving personal and professional success.

    • The Power of Forgiveness and Choosing LovePrioritizing forgiveness and choosing love brings purpose and fulfillment, while recognizing and appreciating various forms of love is essential for a fulfilling life.

      Forgiveness allows us to let go of negative emotions and make space for love and connection. It is not about forgetting or setting boundaries, but about choosing to prioritize love. Some people may struggle to embrace forgiveness because they have become accustomed to bitterness and hate. However, waking up each day with the intention to choose love brings a sense of purpose and fulfillment. The concept of having a common enemy can unite people but should not be the sole motivation for our actions. Monks teach us that love is not just something we receive, but something we express through kindness and compassion. Romantic love should not be devalued, but it is important to recognize and appreciate other forms of love as well.

    • Unconditional Love and the Realities of Romantic RelationshipsReciprocal love, developed over time, is more attainable than unconditional love in romantic relationships. Love is a skill that can be cultivated through self-appreciation and finding deeper meaning beyond appearance.

      Unconditional love may be real, but it is not always realistic in romantic relationships. Reciprocal love, where both parties do nice things for each other without keeping score, is more achievable. Unconditional love is like the love a parent has for their child. It takes time and effort to reach unconditional love, and it cannot be rushed. Falling in love too quickly often leads to disappointment. Love is not just an emotion, but a skill that can be learned and developed. To shift our mindset and develop our ability to love, we can practice finding something we love about our bodies every day, going beyond aesthetic appearances and appreciating our organs.

    • The Importance of Self-Love and Understanding in Building Healthy RelationshipsSelf-love and understanding are crucial for nurturing healthy relationships. By acknowledging and appreciating ourselves, learning to communicate and understand the needs of our loved ones, and expressing our own needs, we can experience a range of beautiful love.

      The key takeaway from this text is that self-love and understanding are important for building healthy relationships. We often forget to appreciate and love ourselves, including our bodies, minds, and hearts. By acknowledging the good within us, we can develop self-love as a habit. Additionally, love is a skill that requires understanding and communication. Learning to recognize the needs of our loved ones, whether they need space or attention, is a way to show love. It is also important to express how we want to be loved to others, as everyone has different love languages. By doing so, we open up the possibility of experiencing love in various beautiful ways.

    • Overcoming Fear to Build Strong RelationshipsBy openly communicating fears, setting boundaries, and making commitments, we can create a sense of security and trust in our relationships, allowing us to pursue our passions without guilt.

      Fear can hold us back from experiencing connection. It is important to turn our fears into boundaries, agreements, and commitments with our partners. By openly communicating our fears and setting principles, we can create a sense of security and trust in our relationships. This allows both individuals to feel valued and understood, reducing insecurities. Open and honest conversations about priorities and goals help to align expectations and avoid misunderstandings. Turning fear into conversation and commitment frees us from living in constant fear and allows us to pursue our passions and purpose without feeling guilty. It is essential to address fear and transform it into a positive and constructive force in our relationships.

    • The Power of Solitude: Rediscovering Yourself After a HeartbreakTaking time alone after a heartbreak helps you understand yourself better, prioritize your own needs, and build a fulfilling life without losing your identity.

      Taking time to be alone after a heartbreak can help you rediscover yourself and gain self-awareness. It allows you to understand your likes and dislikes, prioritize what's important to you, and build the life you desire. Being alone is an opportunity to focus on self-discovery and avoid losing yourself in a relationship. It's important to embrace solitude, as it enables personal growth and prevents adopting someone else's behaviors and patterns. By investing time in understanding and valuing yourself, you can create a fulfilling life and avoid losing sight of what makes you unique and interesting.

    • The Power of Self-Reflection and Building Strong RelationshipsTaking time for self-discovery and personal growth is essential for happiness. Healthy relationships require teamwork, grace, and understanding. Change begins with oneself, not with others.

      Spending time alone and developing a relationship with oneself is essential for personal growth and long-term happiness. It is not healthy to rely solely on others for fulfillment and identity. Many people fear self-reflection and self-discovery because they may not like who they are, but the beauty is that they have the power to change. Another person cannot fix or solve the dislike for oneself. In relationships, it is important to work together as a team rather than constantly trying to win arguments or point out faults. Giving ourselves and our partners more grace and understanding can lead to stronger and healthier relationships.

    • Winning Together in a Relationship: Finding Solutions and Making Agreements for Mutual Benefit.Winning together in a relationship requires understanding, compromise, and collaboration to find solutions that benefit both partners, leading to a more harmonious and peaceful environment.

      The key takeaway from this conversation is that winning together in a relationship means finding solutions and making agreements that benefit both partners. It's not about one person winning an argument at the expense of the other. It requires coming together, understanding each other's perspectives, and finding a middle ground. Winning together doesn't mean tolerating issues or sacrificing one's own feelings. It's about creating boundaries and commitments that address the problems in the relationship. By working together and finding mutual solutions, couples can avoid unnecessary conflicts and build a more harmonious and peaceful environment in their shared space.

    • The Importance of Asking the Right Questions in Love and RelationshipsIt's not about finding the perfect person, but about finding someone who is willing to make the relationship work and putting in the effort to make it work together.

      In love and relationships, it's important to ask the right questions. Instead of focusing on finding the 'right' person, it's about finding someone who wants to make it work with you and who you want to make it work with. The idea of a perfect person or partner is unrealistic, and what matters is the willingness to make the relationship work. When we break up with someone, we often idealize the relationship and crave what we imagine it to be, but the reality may be different. It's essential to stop living in our heads and start navigating the real world, where beauty and signs of a healthy relationship can be found.

    • The Importance of Continuous Learning and Attention in LoveLove requires ongoing effort and understanding, both towards our partner and ourselves. It is crucial to nurture and grow our relationships by staying curious, attentive, and committed.

      Love requires constant learning and attention. Just like we stay updated and invested in our hobbies or possessions, we should do the same in our relationships. Love means continuously discovering and understanding our partner, as well as ourselves. It is not enough to claim love without actively taking care of our loved ones. Love is not about ownership or possessiveness; it is about nurturing and growth. Moreover, it is important to love ourselves as well, as self-love is a crucial aspect of any successful partnership. By staying curious, attentive, and committed, we can cultivate a fulfilling and harmonious connection in our relationships.

    • Shifting from Perfection to Progress and Cultivating Meaningful ConnectionsInstead of striving for perfection, focus on making progress by aligning your skills and challenges. Nurture connections with people who value you and reciprocate your efforts.

      Shift your mindset from focusing on perfection to focusing on progress. Understand that perfection doesn't exist and instead strive for the state of flow, where your challenge aligns with your skill. Avoid feeling unworthy by taking on challenges that match your skill level and avoid feeling bored by developing new skills to take on difficult challenges. Rather than pursuing perfection, prioritize aligning your skill and challenge to make progress. In cultivating meaningful connections, focus on connecting with people who want to connect with you and make efforts with those who reciprocate. Don't chase after those who don't have space for you in their lives, but instead value the love and connections from those who already appreciate you.

    • The Power of Being Present in LoveTrue love is found in those who are willing to be present with us, and we should focus on connecting with those who already love us instead of chasing love. Embracing change is essential for personal growth.

      We often condition ourselves to believe that love is about chasing someone, fixing someone, or saving someone. However, true love can be found in someone who is willing to sit with us, be present, and show us love. We need to unlearn the old behavior of chasing love and instead focus on connecting with the people who already love us. By doing so, we will naturally disconnect from those who don't truly love us. It is important to be self-aware and recognize the love that is already present in our lives. Change is a natural part of life, and we should embrace it rather than resist it.

    • Embracing Change: Learning to Flow with Life's PhasesAcceptance and courage are key in facing change. Letting go of attachment and resistance helps us embrace each moment, knowing that we are resilient and capable of adapting.

      Change is inevitable and all feelings are temporary. Just as seasons change, our lives go through different phases. It is important to accept and embrace change rather than resist it. Attachment and aversion can make change more difficult and painful. By labeling and judging the moments, we resist the flow of life. Instead, we should learn to accept and meet each moment with courage, clarity, and composure. Whether the experience is good or bad, happy or sad, calm or stressed, we should let it flow and be okay with whatever we are experiencing. Our relationship with change can be improved by letting go of attachment, releasing resistance, and understanding that we are built for change.

    Recent Episodes from On Purpose with Jay Shetty

    Nicky Jam: How to Forgive Yourself From the Past & Free Yourself From Shame and Trauma

    Nicky Jam: How to Forgive Yourself From the Past & Free Yourself From Shame and Trauma

    Are you struggling to overcome your past trauma?

    Are you looking for ways to heal from it?

    Today, Jay sits down with renowned reggaeton artist and songwriter Nicky Jam. Nicky's music career took off after a series of successful mixtapes and collaborations with other artists, including Daddy Yankee, with whom he formed the iconic duo Los Cangris. His work has earned him international fame and multiple awards, establishing him as a major influence in the reggaeton and Latin trap genres. 

    Nicky recounts his first foray into music, packing groceries and freestyling at a supermarket, which inadvertently launched his career despite his young age and the informal nature of his work. He opens up about the difficulties of his upbringing, including his mother’s struggle with substance abuse and prostitution, shaping his understanding of normalcy and family life. This background set the stage for his initial break into the music industry, where early rejections and setbacks paved the way for his eventual success in the Puerto Rican mixtape scene and beyond.

    Together with Jay, Nicky also discusses the challenges of maintaining authenticity and personal happiness amidst fame, expressing discomfort with being seen as a role model and emphasizing the importance of understanding and support for mental health, especially for men in the public eye. Despite ongoing struggles with PTSD, anxiety, and the scars of his traumatic past, Nicky remains hopeful and driven, looking forward to continuing his career and making a positive impact through his work and personal experiences.

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    Nicky's story demonstrates that with unwavering determination and a genuine approach, it's possible to transform challenging beginnings into legacies of success and enduring influence.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    • 00:00 Intro
    • 03:12 Earliest Childhood Memory
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    • 06:44 I Was Happy with the Album
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    • 15:22 Looking for Billy
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    • 19:05 Commands Don’t Work on Me
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    • 31:06 Drug and Alcohol Problem
    • 34:20 Finding Help
    • 36:40 Feeling Alone
    • 39:18 Almost Dying
    • 42:52 Prison Life
    • 45:59 Moving to Columbia
    • 52:00 My Mom is Different
    • 54:48 Do You Pray a Lot?
    • 58:01 Reconciliation
    • 59:49 Forgiveness
    • 01:05:31 I’m not Retiring
    • 01:09:24 My Album is My Story
    • 01:10:11 Some Misunderstanding People Have
    • 01:12:37 Surgery and Recovery
    • 01:13:46 Talking is Therapy
    • 01:15:12 Nicky on Fast Five

    Episode Resources:

    Dubbed by ElevenLabs and this link: https://elevenlabs.io/jay_shetty

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    On Purpose with Jay Shetty
    enSeptember 02, 2024

    10 Proven Strategies to Boost Productivity & Create a Clear Plan for Achieving Your Goals

    10 Proven Strategies to Boost Productivity & Create a Clear Plan for Achieving Your Goals

    Do you feel unproductive?

    How can you boost your daily productivity?

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    Jay shares the importance of creating a workspace that fuels productivity and how subtle changes, like scent and sound, can enhance your environment. He also highlights the significance of workplace trust and how identifying whether an issue is people- or system-related can save you time and energy. He wraps up with insights on "monk mode," a method to achieve deep focus in the midst of distractions, and encourages listeners to experiment with these principles to find what works best for them..

    In this episode, you'll learn:

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    How to lean into your momentum for maximum output

    How to use a 'to start' list instead of a to-do list

    Tune in to discover how to be productive without compromising your well-being, and walk away with actionable tips that you can implement immediately. 

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    02:29 Burnt Out Already?

    04:03 Tip #1: Doing One Thing at a Time

    10:10 Tip #2: Clean Your External Space

    12:40 Tip #3: Create a To-Start-List

    14:17 Tip #4: Give Yourself Positive Validation of Task Completion

    18:51 Tip #5: No Email Until 10AM

    19:47 Tip #6: Goal of the Day, Goal of the Week

    22:03 Tip #7: Know When is Your Most Productive Time

    23:41 Tip #8: Create a Space of Workplace Trust

    26:21 Tip #9: Focus on What’s Causing Success or Failure

    27:42 Tip #10: Lock Into Your Task

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Chris Voss: #1 Secret Formula FBI Negotiators Use To Always Get What They Want & 4 Ways to Apply These Tactics to Your Life

    Chris Voss: #1 Secret Formula FBI Negotiators Use To Always Get What They Want & 4 Ways to Apply These Tactics to Your Life

    What's a simple negotiation trick you can try today?

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    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    • 00:00 Intro
    • 01:23 Becoming a Lead Negotiator
    • 04:08 Suicide Hotline Conversations
    • 08:03 Labeling the Negative Emotions
    • 09:35 Negotiation Isn’t a Form of Conflict
    • 14:59 How to Get Someone to Collaborate with You?
    • 21:15 How Do You Slow Down?
    • 25:10 How Do You Prepare for a Negotiation?
    • 29:54 Biggest Negotiation Mistakes
    • 31:42 Always Look for the Patterns
    • 40:20 Used and Taken Advantage Of
    • 44:21 The Illusion of Control
    • 46:17 What’s Your Intention?
    • 48:37 How to Negotiate a Better Salary?
    • 50:49 Reward Strategy in the Workplace
    • 53:33 Negotiating Unfulfilled Salary Raise 
    • 58:57 How Can Women Negotiate Better?
    • 01:00:57 Negotiations That Don’t End with a Deal
    • 01:05:03 Work with the ELFs
    • 01:11:05 Polite Boundary Setting
    • 01:16:29 How to Not Be Emotional When Negotiating
    • 01:22:08 Are You in the Right Relationship?
    • 01:25:55 Respecting Other People’s Values
    • 01:30:52 Tactical Empathy Documentary
    • 01:34:01 Chris on Final Five

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    They Weren't The One For You and That's Ok (8 Steps to Breakthrough Heartbreak)

    They Weren't The One For You and That's Ok (8 Steps to Breakthrough Heartbreak)

    How did you realize they weren't the one for you?

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    Today shares a detailed exploration of the emotional journey involved in recognizing and accepting that someone you once believed was "the one" for you, wasn't actually the right person. Often, it’s common for people to convince themselves that someone is the perfect partner, even before that person has committed or shown signs of being a suitable match. This can lead to heartbreak when the relationship fails, but  it’s okay because the person wasn't truly right for them either.

    Jay also discusses the importance of understanding whether the person was truly healed from past wounds or whether they were presenting a version of themselves that wasn’t authentic. Consider the idea that sometimes people stay in relationships out of fear of being alone rather than genuine love or connection. And if a partner is unable or unwilling to engage in meaningful conversations, they might not be the right person.

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    Remember, it's okay if someone wasn't the one for you—what matters most is that you remain true to yourself and continue to seek the love and connection you deserve. 

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    01:54 They Weren’t For You and That’s Okay

    05:04 #1: When People Show You Who They Are, Believe Them

    09:09 #2: They Never Showed Up When It Mattered

    10:55 #3: They’re Still Healing

    12:41 #4: They Kept Saying We Can’t Do This

    16:37 #5: You Were Chasing the Whole Time

    18:53 #6: They Made You Feel Detached

    19:13 #7: You Are More Scared Of Being Alone Than Be With Them 

    20:58 #8: They Couldn’t Open Up in Meaningful Conversations

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Dr. Aliza Pressman: How to Avoid Your Parents Mistakes & Raise Confident and Resilient Kids

    Dr. Aliza Pressman: How to Avoid Your Parents Mistakes & Raise Confident and Resilient Kids

    How do you help your children build confidence?

    How do you teach your kids to be resilient?

    Today, Jay welcomes Dr. Aliza Pressman. Aliza is a developmental psychologist with nearly two decades of experience working with families and healthcare providers. She is the host of the Raising Good Humans podcast and an expert in parenting strategies and child development. Dr. Pressman is also the author of The Five Principles of Parenting: Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans, where she offers practical advice and insights for parents looking to raise emotionally resilient and well-rounded children. 

    Aliza begins by discussing whether everyone should become a parent and emphasizes the importance of being intentional and reflective before making that decision. She suggests that potential parents should think about their own values and how they want to approach parenting. She explains that having a strong, secure bond with a child is crucial for their development and that this bond can evolve over time, even if there have been mistakes along the way. 

    Some children are more sensitive and require a specific environment to thrive, while others are more adaptable. She encourages parents to be mindful of their child’s unique needs. The discussion moves on to discipline and encouragement. Dr. Pressman suggests that discipline should focus on teaching rather than punishing, with clear boundaries set for the child’s safety and well-being. When it comes to building confidence, she emphasizes that helping children develop skills (competence) is more effective than simply giving praise.

    In this interview, you'll learn:

    How to handle parenting guilt and shame

    How to set boundaries for your child

    How to build your child’s confidence

    How to discipline effectively

    How to foster independence in your child

    How to build a secure attachment with your child

    By focusing on building secure attachments, setting clear boundaries, and fostering independence, parents can create a nurturing environment where their children can thrive. 

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    • 00:00 Intro
    • 02:57 Should Everyone Be a Parent?
    • 04:29 How Do We Get to Be Who We Are?
    • 05:50 Secure Attachment Relationship
    • 07:15 Feeling of Guilt and Shame as a Parent
    • 11:07 Tiny Moments to Build Resilience
    • 15:31 The Tendency to Overcorrect
    • 17:03 What is Effective Reflection?
    • 21:44 Learn to Reflect with Your Children
    • 26:31 Failure as a Parent
    • 31:14 Different Forms of Communication with Children
    • 35:10 What is the Right Approach to Discipline?
    • 39:10 Three Parenting Styles 
    • 41:36 Tension and Rejection Can Be a Motivation
    • 45:34 Dealing with a Child Who Doesn’t Want to Open Up
    • 50:12 Your Presence is Important
    • 51:46 How to Have a Social Media Conversation?
    • 57:12 How to Raise a Confident Human?
    • 01:01:40 Allow Kids to Showcase What They Learned
    • 01:05:53 Adults Can Work on Themselves
    • 01:07:23 Aliza on Final Five

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    6 Steps to Detox from Your Phone & Reduce Your Anxiety Levels

    6 Steps to Detox from Your Phone & Reduce Your Anxiety Levels

    How often do you check your phone daily?

    Do you feel anxious when you’re away from your phone?

    Today, Jay addresses the growing concern of excessive phone and internet usage, exploring its detrimental effects on mental and physical health. He begins by explaining how activities like swiping, liking, and commenting on social media provide our brains with dopamine hits, which can create a cycle of dependency and compulsive behavior. Despite the benefits of technology, such as increased connectivity and access to information, many people feel less connected and more distracted, anxious, and impatient.

    Jay elaborates on the neurological aspects of dopamine and its role in pleasure-seeking behaviors, emphasizing that problems arise when we expect constant rewards from our online activities. He draws parallels between the brain's response to food and its response to digital consumption, advocating for a balanced approach that avoids overindulgence in either.

    In this episode, you'll learn:

    How to become more conscious of your internet use

    How to have wifi-free meals

    How to replace morning phone use with healthier habits

    How to stay mindful when using technology

    How to engage in a cell phone detox

    The ultimate goal is to create a healthier, more intentional relationship with technology, leading to a more fulfilling and balanced life.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    01:46 On Your Phone All the Time?

    05:32 Losing Control Over Phone Use

    06:19 Six Steps to Phone Detox

    07:01 Dopamine

    11:23 People Aren’t As Happy As Before

    13:39 How Often Do You Check Your Phone?

    14:27 Cortisol

    17:26 Step 1: Become More Conscious

    19:19 Step 2: Wait an Hour Before Going Online

    21:18 Step 3: The WiFi-Free Meal

    23:45 Step 4: Watch What You Consume Online

    24:54 Step 5: Limit Potions

    25:48 Step 6: Intermittent Fasting

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Alexis Ren & Allie Michelle: 3 Ways to Stop Putting a Guard up in Love & Why You Need to Change Your Mindset On What Success Means in Dating

    Alexis Ren & Allie Michelle: 3 Ways to Stop Putting a Guard up in Love & Why You Need to Change Your Mindset On What Success Means in Dating

    How can you start letting your guard down in love?

    How can you become more open and vulnerable in your relationships?

    Today, let's welcome Alexis Ren and Allie Michelle. Alexis is a model, entrepreneur, and social media influencer with over 18 million followers on Instagram. Known for her advocacy of mental health and self-empowerment, Alexis has leveraged her platform to promote wellness and personal growth. She is also the co-founder of "We Are Warriors," a female-driven wellness community focused on fostering self-love, strength, and growth among women worldwide. 

    Allie is a bestselling author, spoken word artist, and certified yoga, breathwork, meditation, Reiki, and craniosacral therapist. She is passionate about holistic health and personal development, which she incorporates into her work. The duo are the co-founders of "We Are Warriors," a female-driven wellness community focused on fostering self-love, strength, and growth among women worldwide. 

    Alexis and Allie's friendship began when they were preteens and they share how their relationship has been a cornerstone of their personal growth, providing mutual support through life's challenges. A significant turning point in their friendship occurred when Alexis's mother passed away, leading to Allie’s family adopting Alexis. 

    A significant theme throughout the discussion is the balance of masculine and feminine energies, which Alexis and Allie explore in depth. They describe how these energies play out in their lives and work, with Alexis often taking on a more masculine, action-oriented role, while Allie embodies a more feminine, intuitive approach. They emphasize the importance of recognizing and honoring both energies within oneself and in others, as this balance has been crucial in their personal and professional lives.

    Alexis and Allie also address the societal pressures that women face, particularly around beauty standards and career expectations. Both women emphasize the importance of breaking free from limiting beliefs and societal expectations to find deeper fulfillment and authenticity.

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    How to support a friend

    How to manage criticism

    How to build a strong friendship

    How to stay authentic

    How to handle creative blocks

    How to empower others

    Embrace the balance of your masculine and feminine energies, break free from societal expectations, and empower each other to thrive on the journey to self-discovery and growth.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    • 00:00 Intro
    • 03:38 Beginning of a Friendship 
    • 08:25 Growing Together Independently
    • 10:21 Going Through Big and Small Changes
    • 15:19 Creative and Emotional Intelligence
    • 18:30 Validating and Complimenting Each Other 
    • 21:59 Types of Archetypes
    • 27:18 What's Holding Women Back?
    • 29:46 Start Embracing Your Feminine Energy
    • 33:38 Why Did It Trigger You?
    • 41:00 How to Prepare for Life
    • 45:23 Living an Internally Peaceful Life
    • 52:44 Balance Between Masculine and Feminine Energy
    • 01:02:25 Dealing with the Imbalance in Your Energy
    • 01:07:00 You Can Do Uncomfortable Things
    • 01:10:16 The Best Journaling Practice
    • 01:14:39 Speak to Your Subconscious
    • 01:16:55 Try Leaning Into the Moment
    • 01:23:27 Relationship Checklist 
    • 01:28:38 Alexis and Allie on Final Five 
    • 01:37:46 Giving Each Other the Grace of Change

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Why Your Unresolved Trauma is Keeping You Stuck & How to Rewire Your Brain to Move Forward with Laverne Cox

    Why Your Unresolved Trauma is Keeping You Stuck & How to Rewire Your Brain to Move Forward with Laverne Cox

    How does unresolved trauma impact your life?

    How can you rewire your brain to overcome trauma?

    Today, in the On Purpose podcast, Jay sits down with actress and LGBT advocate, Laverne Cox. Laverne’s groundbreaking performance on "Orange Is the New Black" made her the first openly transgender person to be nominated for a Primetime Emmy Award. In addition to her acting career, Laverne Cox has been involved in various advocacy and awareness campaigns, making her a significant figure in the ongoing struggle for transgender and LGBTQ+ rights. Her work has contributed to greater visibility and acceptance of transgender individuals in the entertainment industry and society at large.

    In this episode, Laverne and Jay dive deep into transgender rights, media representation challenges, and how empathy can make a big difference in our divided world. They also discuss how fake news and false information on the internet can be a problem and why learning how to spot them is crucial. 

    Laverne also shares personal experiences and insights that shed light on the struggles and triumphs of the transgender community. She also talked about the need for structural change, greater investment in education, and the role of love and empathy in promoting understanding and healing. 

    In this interview, you'll learn:

    • The power of personal stories in changing perceptions and fostering empathy
    • The struggles and rights of transgender individuals in society
    • Ways to challenge and correct misconceptions about transgender individuals
    • The importance of uncomfortable conversations and understanding why having difficult discussions is essential for growth and progress.

    Remember that understanding and empathy can bridge even the widest divides, and it's through collective efforts that we can work toward a more inclusive and compassionate world. 

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    • 00:00 Intro
    • 01:10 Childhood Memories That Define Who Laverne Is Today
    • 10:51 Reparenting Her Inner Child
    • 18:27 Why Is Denial Unhealthy?
    • 25:05 Try To Let Go Of All Your Thoughts
    • 27:43 The Fear and Freedom of Growing Older in Hollywood
    • 31:13 Unlearning Transphobia and White Supremacy
    • 46:06 Fight for Trans Rights and Mental Wellness
    • 59:03 Bridging the Divide Through Thoughtful Conversations

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Robert Greene: How to Deal with Negative People When They Are in Your Family, Friend Circle or Work

    Robert Greene: How to Deal with Negative People When They Are in Your Family, Friend Circle or Work

    How do you deal with negative people close to you?

    How do you stay positive around negative people?

    Today, Jay welcomes Robert Greene, known for his bestsellers like "The 48 Laws of Power" and "The Daily Laws." Robert's works draw on historical figures and events to provide insights into the dynamics of power and social influence. His books are often used as guides for personal development, leadership, and understanding the complexities of human interactions. 

    Robert shares tips on dealing with negative people, emphasizing the importance of emotional distance and understanding that everyone has their flaws and shares his thoughts on the idea that our sense of self is just a mental construct, and real enlightenment comes from letting go of our egos. He also stresses the importance of questioning your beliefs to truly understand who you are and what you’re meant to do in life. 

    Followed by Jay and Robert's discussion on why it's more important to judge people by their character rather than their intelligence or charm, how a strong character is shown by handling criticism well, working well with others, and managing stress. They also talk about how modern life can make us less empathetic and the need to genuinely connect with others. 

    In this interview, you'll learn:

    How to deal with negative people

    How to develop empathy in modern life

    How to question your own beliefs

    How to stay true to yourself

    How to handle criticism constructively

    How to manage stress effectively

    By understanding the nature of the self, maintaining emotional distance from negativity, and focusing on genuine connections, we can foster a stronger sense of empathy and authenticity in our lives.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    • 00:00 Intro
    • 05:31 How to Deal with Negative People?
    • 09:04 Look Behind the Mask
    • 13:26 Getting Attracted to the Wrong People
    • 15:02 Filling Up the Emptiness
    • 17:23 Surprising Characteristics in Humans
    • 19:10 Our Capacity for Empathy
    • 21:31 What’s Your Most Repeated Thought?
    • 22:34 How Quiet the Mind
    • 24:54 Becoming More Aware
    • 30:20 How We Process What We’re Experiencing
    • 33:42 Who Really Are You?
    • 37:44 How People Think About You
    • 41:00 People’s Perception of You
    • 43:46 The Before and After
    • 46:57 Timeless Knowledge in Books
    • 49:58 What Makes You Excited?
    • 53:16 The Second Self
    • 55:57 The Core of Your Reality
    • 59:21 Limited Language
    • 01:01:41 The Limited Circle of Harmony
    • 01:04:49 Different Thoughts About the World
    • 01:11:04 Slowing Down
    • 01:13:21 Robert on Final Five  

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    4 Ways We Self-Sabotage & 3 Ways to Improve the Relationship We Have With Ourselves

    4 Ways We Self-Sabotage & 3 Ways to Improve the Relationship We Have With Ourselves

    What’s blocking you?

    What’s holding you back?

    Today, Jay talks about the concept of self-sabotage, examining how it manifests in various aspects of our lives and offering strategies for overcoming it. Self-sabotage is defined as behaviors that undermine our own success, happiness, and stated goals. These actions often occur subconsciously, rooted in deep psychological patterns formed during early childhood.

    Jay outlines four primary ways people self-sabotage: chronic lateness, procrastination, putting oneself down, and perfectionism. He also discusses the habit of putting oneself down, which can manifest through over-apologizing or refusing to take credit for accomplishments. This behavior is often linked to low self-esteem or an internalized critical voice from childhood.

    In this episode, you'll learn:

    How to Recognize Self-Sabotage

    How to Stop Putting Yourself Down

    How to Change Negative Self-Talk

    How to Understand Your Triggers

    How to Set Boundaries

    By understanding and working through these patterns, you can unlock your full potential and achieve the success and happiness you desire.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    03:08 What is Self-Sabotage?

    05:41 Passive-Aggressive Behavior

    08:22 Behavior that Counters What We Tell Ourselves

    11:08 What Leads to Self-Sabotage?

    14:26 #1: Chronic Lateness

    16:22 #2: Procrastination

    19:53 #3: Putting Yourself Down

    23:15 #4: Perfectionism

    27:01 Three Ways to Deal with Your Self-Sabotaging Behavior

    28:53 weird noise in the background

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    ----

    You can view the transcription, references and resources on the podcast episode page here (If link is faulty, copy and paste: https://www.rbccmnq.com/episode-2). 


    About host

    Hi, I’m Rebecca-Monique: an ICF accredited (PCC) somatic and transformational coach. My work is centred around supporting individuals through their healing. 

    My specialist areas are grief, trauma, anxiety, depression, addiction, sense of Self (identity), boundaries and confidence. 

    I have particular interests in social sciences and human-centred disciplines, including psychology, psycholinguistics, sociology, spirituality and philosophy. 

    I live in London, UK with my son (who is also blessed with the awesomeness that is hyphenated first names!).

    You can find out more about my personal journey and what led me to becoming a coach here

    If you’re thinking about working together for 1:1 coaching, please start here


    Subscribe to PASSING THOUGHTS

    You can subscribe to my podcast via your preferred streaming services at podcast.rbccmnq.com


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    If you find my content valuable, and would like to support my work, you can do so here via Ko-fi. 


    Get in touch

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    Disclaimer

    ​​This podcast is not coaching, nor a replacement for coaching with an accredited professional.

    These episodes are published with the understanding that the Coach and the Business are not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal or other professional services to its listeners.

    If expert assistance is needed, the service of a competent professional should be sought.

    Copyright © 2021 rbccmnq Limited. All rights reserved. 

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