Podcast Summary
Understanding the Fawn Response and Its Impact on the Body: Through Luis Mojica's teachings, we can learn about the fawn response, a reflexive trauma response, and its impact on the body. By understanding its triggers and using neuro somatic tools, we can create change, release stored trauma, and develop presence and embodiment.
Our nervous system plays a crucial role in how we respond to stress and trauma, particularly in the form of the fawn response. Fawn response, a reflexive trauma response, is often labeled as the people-pleaser and can manifest in various ways, including sexual fawning. Luis Mojica, a somatics practitioner, has taught us valuable insights into this response and its impact on the body. Through his teachings, we've learned that understanding fawning and working intentionally with our nervous system can help us create change, release stored trauma, and develop presence and embodiment. By witnessing ourselves in real-time and using neuro somatic tools, we can choose new ways of being and remove ourselves from harmful situations. The fawn response is deeply tied to our early development and conditioning, and being aware of its triggers can lead to healing and resilience. Overall, this conversation highlights the importance of understanding the nervous system's role in trauma and the power of somatic practices in creating positive change.
Impact of Trauma on Intimacy and Pleasure: Trauma responses can deeply impact an individual's ability to experience intimacy and pleasure. Understanding the connection between trauma and the body can lead to increased compassion and awareness.
Trauma responses, particularly in the context of early childhood sexual experiences, can significantly impact an individual's ability to experience intimacy and pleasure. Elise, a thought leader in this field, shares her personal experience of discovering the concept of the trauma response and how it has shaped her understanding of her own healing journey. Over couplings, a somatic response to chronic experiences, can result in the body associating threat or shame with arousal or pleasure. This physiological reaction can be deeply ingrained and impact behavior and ability to stay present in intimate situations. Understanding this connection between trauma and the body can lead to increased compassion and awareness for individuals dealing with these complex issues.
Understanding the Fawn Response: A Survival Mechanism for Safety and Belonging: The fawn response is a reflexive behavior aimed at creating safety and belonging, rooted in our ancient past, and can manifest as people-pleasing or compromising oneself, with shame often following as an afterthought.
Our body's protective response, known as fawning, is a reflexive behavior aimed at creating safety and belonging. This response, which can manifest as people-pleasing or compromising oneself, is a survival mechanism that stems from our ancient past when our lives depended on the approval of others. Fawning serves two purposes: securing social connections and ensuring survival. The shame that often accompanies fawning is a response to identifying with the behavior, which is usually unconscious and happens in a nanosecond. It's an afterthought, and our minds often dissociate during the experience. Understanding fawning from a somatic lens helps us recognize its roots and the role it plays in our relationships and survival.
Physiological responses to trauma are protective mechanisms: Understanding trauma responses as protective mechanisms can help us replace shame with gratitude and work with our bodies to create new experiences
Our physiological responses to trauma, such as shame, are not personal choices but rather reflexive and protective mechanisms. Shame, as a response, can lead to a freeze or collapse, causing further dissociation and disconnection. By recognizing the protective nature of these responses and uncoupling them from shame, we can replace it with positive emotions like gratitude. Understanding the reflexive nature of trauma responses can help us work with our bodies and nervous systems to create new experiences and outputs, rather than trying to cognitively override them. Childhood trauma, especially relational trauma, can result in chronic development of freezing and falling responses, which are the primary strategies for children in stressful or abusive environments. These responses are not about us, but rather about survival and protection. Once we understand this, it becomes simpler to be with these responses without taking them personally.
Identifying and addressing protective responses in relationships: Recognize and have gratitude for protective responses, embody their physical sensations, and pause to redirect behaviors for healthier and more authentic relationships.
Our bodies develop dependencies based on past experiences, especially in the context of relationships and sexual experiences. These dependencies can manifest as protective responses, such as fawning, which can limit our ability to fully connect and express ourselves. To begin addressing this, it's essential to first identify these patterns and have gratitude for their protective role. A practical first step is to embody the physical sensations associated with these responses, recognizing them as signals for self-care and boundary setting. By pausing and redirecting our responses, we can begin to interrupt the patterns and repattern our behaviors, ultimately leading to healthier and more authentic relationships.
Understanding the body's responses to past traumas: Learn to distinguish between real threats and triggers, become aware of body's responses, and respond with compassion and care to heal from past traumas.
Our bodies hold memories and responses to past traumas, which can manifest in the present as triggers. These triggers can feel the same as real threats, leading us to react automatically with the "fawn" response. However, by learning to become aware of these responses and trust our bodies as friends and guides, we can start to distinguish between real threats and triggers, and respond appropriately. The body's responses to trauma are not under our conscious control, but by becoming present and mindful, we can help our bodies update and heal. Additionally, sex can also be a physiological activation within the body, and it's essential to understand if our responses are due to pleasure or the mimicking of pleasure through past traumas. By learning to listen to our bodies and respond with compassion and care, we can build trust and improve our overall well-being.
Fawning and Trauma Responses: Fawning behaviors can trigger unintended trauma responses, especially for those with a history of sexual trauma or PTSD. Practicing embodiment and mindfulness can help individuals recognize and respond to these signs, preventing a cycle of fawning and bracing.
Sexual fawning, which involves doing sexually pleasing things to maintain a connection and avoid hurting someone's feelings, can lead to unintended trauma responses, especially for those with a history of sexual trauma or PTSD. The body's natural arousal response can increase stress hormones and activate trauma responses, leading to physical signs like increased heart rate, muscle tension, and jaw clenching. Practicing embodiment and mindfulness can help individuals notice these signs and respond with relaxation and breathing techniques instead of slipping back into fawning behaviors. These subtle body signals are often missed without somatic awareness, leading to a cycle of bracing and fawning that can be challenging to break. Understanding the connection between fawning, trauma responses, and sexual arousal can help individuals navigate intimate relationships more mindfully and build healthier, more authentic connections.
Early experiences shape our behavior and can lead to fawning, disconnecting from our bodies, and chronic health issues.: Recognizing fawning as a physiological response to early experiences and understanding its impact on our lives and relationships is crucial for healing and growth.
Our early experiences shape our behavior and can lead us to bypass our authenticity in order to belong and please others. This phenomenon, known as fawning, involves freezing and performing at the same time, leading to chronic illness and other health issues. It starts as early as preschool, where children learn to disconnect from their bodies to receive rewards. Fawning is not a manipulation but a physiological response, and it's important to recognize its impact on our lives and relationships. Additionally, the inability to set boundaries can lead to a "quiet manipulation," but it's essential to understand that this is a bodily response rather than a deliberate act of manipulation. Lying is another trauma response, rooted in a low capacity for truth, and it's crucial to recognize the underlying causes of our behaviors to heal and grow.
Understanding coping mechanisms and human behavior: Recognize everyone's emotional capacity and offer compassion to foster healthier relationships and personal growth, despite the use of coping mechanisms like lying or fawning.
People may lie or use manipulative behaviors like fawning as a coping mechanism to avoid ruptures or maintain relationships, often due to a lack of emotional capacity. Compassion, which involves understanding the reasons behind someone's behavior without judgment, can be a controversial concept. However, it's essential to recognize that everyone operates from their nervous system's current capacity, and offering grace and compassion to oneself and others can lead to healthier relationships and personal growth. Lying, including the unconscious kind in fawning, is ultimately a self-preservation mechanism, even if it can harm others. It's crucial to acknowledge the complexity of human behavior and strive for understanding rather than judgment.
Healing from trauma involves recognizing and addressing the deep connection between physical and emotional responses.: Trauma can make it hard for the body to open up to compassion or ease due to deeply ingrained patterns of bracing or hypervigilance. Healing involves a gradual process of learning to trust and renegotiate boundaries to build capacity for positive emotions.
Our physical and emotional responses to experiences, including joy, compassion, and trauma, are deeply interconnected. Chronic bracing or hypervigilance, often associated with trauma, can make it difficult for the body to open up to compassion or ease. This is because the physiological response to compassion or openness can feel scary and vulnerable. The concept of "sexual fawning" is an example of this, as it involves breaking one's own boundaries to appease others, which can add to the damage caused by past sexual trauma. It's important to recognize that these patterns are deeply ingrained and that healing involves a gradual process of learning to trust and renegotiate these boundaries. This can help us build the capacity for joy, compassion, and other positive emotions.
Understanding individual experiences and capacities in processing trauma: Everyone's response to trauma is unique based on individual experiences, nervous system capacity, past events, and current circumstances. Capacity, which can be influenced but not fully controlled, is crucial to consider when working with trauma.
Our individual experiences and capacities play a significant role in how we process trauma, regardless of the intent behind it. Sexual trauma, for instance, can stem from non-violent situations and still leave lasting impacts. The body's response to trauma is unique to each person, and factors like nervous system capacity, past experiences, and current circumstances all contribute to this response. Capacity, which can be influenced but not fully controlled, is an essential concept to understand when dealing with trauma. It's important to remember that everyone's capacity is different, and we can't always prevent or control the factors that affect it. To work with someone like Elizabeth, who was mentioned in the discussion, and explore her work further, consider joining her 6-week course for an immersive learning experience in somatics and self-inquiry. Through her course, you'll gain tools, practices, and a supportive community to help you understand and honor your capacity.
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