Podcast Summary
Exploring Seven Big Feelings: Understanding and acknowledging our emotions, including uncertainty, comparison, anger, burnout, perfectionism, despair, and regret, can lead to personal growth.
It's normal and okay to experience a range of emotions, especially during challenging times. The authors of the book "Big Feelings" explore seven emotions that people often struggle with: uncertainty, comparison, anger, burnout, perfectionism, despair, and regret. The authors, Liz Foslian and Mollie West Duffy, met while working in office jobs and bonded over their shared experiences of navigating emotions and conflict. In their new book, they get personal about their own experiences and the power of owning and sharing these big feelings. Despite uncertainty about the world's response to their book during the pandemic, they've found that people continue to experience and express these emotions deeply. By acknowledging and exploring our emotions, we can gain a better understanding of ourselves and grow.
Exploring Emotions: A Key to Emotional Well-Being: Acknowledging and addressing emotions rather than suppressing them promotes emotional well-being. Safe spaces for discussion and financial resources can support this process.
Suppressing emotions is not a sustainable solution and can lead to explosive situations in the future. Instead, acknowledging and addressing the underlying needs driving our emotions can help prevent emotional buildup and promote emotional well-being. This idea is explored in depth in the book, which encourages readers to embrace vulnerability and view emotions as valuable sources of information rather than something to be suppressed or sideline. Moreover, the conversation emphasized the importance of creating safe spaces for discussing emotions, as many people were raised to believe that expressing difficult emotions is shameful. The authors shared their own experiences of struggling to talk about emotions and how they have since become more comfortable and fluent in exploring and discussing them. Additionally, the discussion touched on the financial aspect, with Apple Card offering rewards for purchases made at Apple and other eligible merchants. The rewards can help make celebratory events like brunches more affordable, allowing individuals to focus on creating meaningful experiences rather than worrying about costs. In summary, the conversation highlighted the importance of acknowledging and addressing emotions, creating safe spaces for discussion, and utilizing financial resources to make celebratory moments more accessible.
Starting the conversation around difficult emotions and burnout: Embrace the process of sharing and talking about big feelings, build safe spaces, communicate effectively, and seek support in community and relationships.
Dealing with difficult emotions and burnout is a lifelong process that requires recovery and thought. Authors Lori Gottlieb and Alisa Ruby Bash share their experiences of hitting personal breaking points in both their work and personal lives, which led them to write their books "No Hard Feelings" and "Beneath the Surface." They emphasize the importance of starting the process of sharing and talking about big feelings, even if it's not easy or perfect. They encourage building safe spaces and communities to share with, and offer tips on how to communicate effectively when someone shares a big emotion with you. However, they acknowledge that not everyone has the privilege to leave a job or reduce their workload to address burnout, and they provide alternative suggestions for finding support in community and investing in relationships. Overall, their message is one of empathy, understanding, and the importance of starting the conversation around difficult emotions.
Identifying Early Warning Signs of Burnout: Recognize burnout early by acknowledging lack of time for personal activities, appealing to get sick, and seeking support beyond individual actions.
Burnout is a complex issue that requires self-awareness and a multi-faceted approach to address. It's not about snapping your fingers and getting a new job, but rather acknowledging your current situation and taking small steps to improve your well-being. Early warning signs of burnout include not having time for life activities or feeling that getting sick is appealing. Society often places the burden of dealing with burnout on individuals, particularly those in underrepresented groups. To truly break the cycle of stress, it's essential to consider not only personal actions but also the role of organizations and managers in creating supportive environments. The Nagoski sisters' book "Burnout" offers valuable insights and practical strategies for managing stress and preventing burnout. Remember, it's crucial to give yourself grace and recognize that this is a process.
Managing stress and recognizing emotions, especially anger, is crucial for personal growth and productivity: Acknowledge emotions, especially anger, for personal growth and productivity. Build moments into your day for stress relief and recognize societal biases' impact on emotions.
Managing stress and recognizing emotions, especially anger, is crucial for personal growth and productivity. In our modern world, where stressors are abundant and constant, it's essential to build moments into our day to complete the stress cycle. This can include activities like taking a walk, deep breathing, hugging someone, or even crying. Furthermore, it's important to acknowledge the impact of societal biases on how emotions, particularly anger, are perceived and experienced differently based on race and other factors. As authors of the book, Liz and I, as two white women, acknowledged our limited lived experiences and made an effort to interview individuals from diverse backgrounds to gain a broader perspective. Anger can actually be beneficial, as it can boost confidence, creativity, and motivation to advocate for oneself or others. For instance, Pixar executive Brad Bird intentionally recruited frustrated animators to develop innovative ideas, leading to the creation of The Incredibles. Overall, being aware of our emotions and the potential impact of societal biases can help us foster more effective communication and collaboration in various aspects of our lives.
Emotions as Motivators and Support Systems: Anger can fuel change, sharing emotions removes stigma, comparing suffering is unhelpful, surround yourself with supportive friends, be selective with confidants, and everyone's emotional journey is unique.
Anger can be a powerful motivator for change, but it's important to channel that energy productively. Sharing experiences of difficult emotions, like despair and depression, can help remove stigma and provide hope for those going through similar experiences. Comparing levels of suffering is not helpful, and it's essential to surround oneself with supportive friends who understand and offer affirmation rather than judgment. When dealing with intense emotions, it's crucial to be selective about who to confide in and to express gratitude for their support. Ultimately, it's okay to acknowledge and experience difficult emotions without judgment, and it's essential to remember that everyone's journey is unique.
Supporting friends during hard times: Validating friends during emotional lows, rather than forcing positivity, strengthens relationships.
It's essential to validate and support friends during their difficult moments, rather than trying to force a positive perspective. Life can be hard, and even those in good situations can experience emotional lows. Having strong relationships and friends who listen and check in regularly can make a significant difference. It's important to remember that everyone processes emotions differently, and it's not always helpful to offer a "look on the bright side" mentality. Additionally, friendships can evolve, and the people who provide the most comfort and support may not always be the ones we expect. Apologies for past insensitive comments and acknowledging the value of emotional vulnerability can lead to stronger bonds.
Embracing Change and Seeking Support During Challenging Times: During difficult times, our conversations and sources of support can change. It's important to stay open to these changes and reach out for help when needed. If you or someone you know is struggling, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline or Crisis Text Line for support.
Our conversations and the people who support us can change over time, especially during challenging times. Liz Foslian and Mollie West Duffy, authors of "Big Feelings," encourage us to be open to these changes and reach out for help when needed. If you or someone you know is experiencing despair or thoughts of suicide, reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741-741. Remember, it's okay to ask for help and lean on unexpected sources of support. Check out Liz and Mollie's work on Instagram at lizandmolly. This episode was produced by Janet Woojeong Lee and edited by Tamar Charney. Thank you for joining us on It's Been a Minute from NPR. Stay tuned for more episodes and remember to take care of yourself. This message comes from NPR sponsor Charles Schwab with their original podcast, Choiceology. For more on psychology and economics behind people's decisions, download the latest episode and subscribe at Schwab.com/podcast. Support for NPR and this message comes from FX's The Veil, starring Elizabeth Moss. The Veil is an international spy thriller about two women on a dangerous mission to uncover secrets and save lives. The Veil premieres April 30th only on Hulu. For thought-provoking stories that stay with you, listen to Embedded, NPR's home for original documentary series. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.
