Podcast Summary
Growing up in a patriarchal religion and its impact on feminism: Upbringing in a patriarchal religion can shape one's perspective on feminism and personal autonomy, leading to a faith crisis or a deeper understanding of spirituality and connection to community.
Upbringing in a patriarchal religion like the Church of Jesus Christ in Latter-day Saints can significantly influence one's perspective on feminism, authority, and personal autonomy. Amy Logan, a guest on the Unfuck Your Brain podcast, shares her experience of growing up in the church, being a devoted member, and eventually undergoing a faith crisis. Her mother, a convert at 16, fell in love with a Mormon boy and was drawn to the spiritual aspect of the religion despite her non-religious upbringing. Amy's journey involved leaving the church and becoming an ex-Mormon coach, but she emphasizes her love and connection to Mormon people. The conversation sheds light on the intersection of religion, feminism, and personal growth, and the impact of upbringing on one's beliefs and values.
Growing up with contrasting religious backgrounds: The speaker's upbringing was shaped by her mother's spiritual pull towards Mormonism and her father's Fundamentalist Christianity. However, the church's exclusionary policies led to family conflict and raised questions about its inclusivity and patriarchal structure.
The speaker's upbringing was heavily influenced by two contrasting religious backgrounds. Her mother, who was not religious but had a strong spiritual pull, eventually became a Mormon, while her father came from a background of extreme Fundamentalist Christianity. The Mormon Church, however, had a restrictive policy towards priesthood, which excluded people of color until 1978. This policy, among other things, led to a divide in the speaker's family and raised questions about the church's inclusivity and patriarchal structure. Despite this, the speaker had a strong connection to the church growing up, but it wasn't until later that she began to question its teachings and the impact they had on her family dynamics.
Discovering doubts about Mormon teachings on polygamy and church history: At around 30, the interviewee began questioning Mormon teachings on polygamy and church history, feeling betrayed by discoveries about the church's past and its impact on her family life. Her research led her to new perspectives, challenging her beliefs.
The interviewee's religious doubts and questions began to surface around the age of 30, particularly regarding the concept of polygamy. She felt betrayed when she discovered that the history of the church she had grown up believing in was not as whitewashed as she had been taught. Her husband's frequent absences during her first marriage also raised concerns about the church's emphasis on family and the impact it had on her own family life. The interviewee's initial reaction was to put her doubts on a mental "shelf," but as she grew older and had more children, she felt the need to explore alternative perspectives and resources outside of the canonized, correlated Mormon material. Ultimately, her research led her to a new understanding of the church's history and teachings, which challenged her beliefs and left her feeling betrayed.
Mormon Church acknowledges hidden information: The Mormon Church's transparency about hidden information can lead to emotional turmoil for longtime members who felt betrayed and questioned their faith, power dynamics, and personal relationships.
The Mormon Church is now acknowledging and addressing previously unknown or concealed information through church essays, likely due to the increased availability of information through the Internet. This process came too late for some members, like the speaker, who felt betrayed when they discovered this information despite being fully committed to the church and holding leadership roles. The speaker's experience highlights the psychological impact of growing up in a religion where women have limited authority and how this perception can influence one's understanding of power and authority in general. The speaker's deconstruction of her faith led her to question her marriage and led her to keep her departure from the church a secret from her kids for a while.
Communicating with children during a faith crisis: Maintain open communication with children about religious doubts and differences, as it's essential for their upbringing and fosters a strong bond despite potential challenges.
During a faith crisis, it's essential to recognize the importance of open communication with family members, especially regarding children's upbringing. The speaker in this conversation initially planned to let her husband continue raising their sons in the Mormon faith, assuming they wouldn't be interested in her perspective. However, her friend pointed out that she was still their mother and encouraged her to share her thoughts with them. The speaker eventually began discussing her doubts with her children at an age-appropriate level, leading to different outcomes for each son. This experience taught her the significance of maintaining a connection with her children despite religious differences. Additionally, leaving a faith can involve exclusion from certain traditions and events, which can be challenging to navigate.
Unexpected friendships from personal growth: Personal growth can lead to valuable connections with people we initially mistrust or misunderstand, expanding our understanding and enriching our lives.
Personal growth and self-discovery can sometimes lead to unexpected places, even when we're initially unsure or skeptical. In this conversation, the speaker shares how she initially met and interacted with Amy, who later became her colleague and friend. The speaker recalls being initially wary of Amy due to their differences, but eventually came to appreciate her perspective and value their connection. This experience of trusting herself and embracing the unknown led the speaker to pursue her advanced certification in feminist coaching, which helped her deepen her understanding of intersectionality and the role of patriarchy in people's lives. Through this journey, she gained new insights into the work she does as a coach and the importance of trusting oneself to navigate complex issues.
The Role of Gender in Religious Authority: The patriarchal nature of religious institutions can limit opportunities and potential for women, even if it seems beneficial in some ways. Questioning the status quo and recognizing the responsibilities that come with privilege is essential.
The concept of authority, particularly in religious contexts, can be deeply ingrained and shaped by gender dynamics. This was discussed in relation to the Mormon Church, where the male-dominated leadership structure was highlighted. The speakers at their general conferences are mostly male, and women weren't even allowed to pray publicly until 2013. This is an example of how patriarchy can manifest, not as an outright disadvantage for women, but as a system where certain roles and responsibilities are assigned based on gender. This can limit women's opportunities and potential, even if it seems beneficial in some ways. The speaker reflected on her own experiences growing up in a Jewish community, where women also had fewer spiritual obligations compared to men. The importance of questioning the status quo and recognizing the responsibilities that come with privilege was emphasized. The speaker shared how she felt she missed out on opportunities because of the limited expectations placed on her as a woman in the Mormon Church.
Limiting beliefs and their impact on our lives: Questioning and challenging limiting beliefs can lead to personal transformation and new possibilities.
Limiting beliefs, instilled through repetitive paradigms, can significantly impact our lives. The speaker shares her personal experience growing up as a Mormon, where she adhered to the rules without questioning, unaware of alternative choices. However, as she grew older, she began to question and challenge these beliefs, leading to a transformation. Coaching helped her break through these old paradigms and discover new possibilities. Many Mormon women, highly educated and intellectual, face a similar challenge: they are encouraged to pursue education but often put their careers on hold to raise a family. Coaching provides an outlet for these women to utilize their skills and entrepreneurial spirit while maintaining their traditional lifestyle. The church's emphasis on public speaking also prepares members for leadership roles, further overlapping with the coaching profession.
Claiming Own Authority and Empowerment: Empowerment comes from recognizing and embracing one's own authority and making intentional choices that align with personal beliefs and values, even if it goes against societal expectations.
Women's empowerment involves claiming their own authority and making intentional choices about how to live their lives, rather than just following societal or religious rules. The speaker's personal journey of leaving the Mormon church and starting her own business is an extreme example of this concept. She had to go against societal expectations and face significant challenges, but ultimately, she found pride in her ability to follow her convictions and trust herself. This idea extends beyond religious communities and applies to all areas of life, as women continue to face societal pressures to defer to male authority. Empowerment comes from recognizing and embracing one's own authority and making choices that align with personal beliefs and values.
Claiming authority and questioning conditioning: Empower yourself by challenging limiting beliefs and trusting your own judgment to make decisions based on what's best for you.
Women need to claim their own authority and question the conditioning that keeps them in situations where they feel powerless, whether it's in a religious or romantic context. This conditioning often manifests as the belief that others are smarter or more knowledgeable, leading to fear and a lack of trust in one's own judgment. This realization can be a game-changer, allowing individuals to break free from the matrix and make decisions based on what's best for them, rather than external influences. Amy, a guest on the podcast, shared her personal experience of this shift and how it transformed her life. She now helps others navigate faith crises and incorporates her feminist beliefs into her coaching practice. If you're going through a faith crisis or seeking to challenge limiting beliefs, check out Amy's podcast, xMormonology, for valuable insights and guidance.
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