Podcast Summary
Understanding internal mental processes of 'bad feminism': Believing in feminist values but feeling powerless or unsure in practice can lead to negative emotions and self-judgment, preventing authentic feminist action.
The feeling of being a "bad feminist" often stems from internal mental processes rather than external circumstances. According to Tara Lowenthal, the host of Unfucked Your Brain podcast, this disconnect between beliefs and actions can be attributed to two mental processes. The first process is the way we think and feel about ourselves and our situation. For instance, we may believe that women should stand up to sexist comments, but feel powerless or unsure when faced with such situations. The second process is the negative emotions and self-judgment we experience as a result of this disconnect. These feelings of guilt or shame can prevent us from acting in alignment with our beliefs and values. Understanding these mental processes can help us challenge and reframe our thinking, empowering us to take action and live more authentically as feminists.
Recognizing conflicting thoughts: Understanding that fear is a thought, not an emotion, and learning to manage conflicting thoughts can help align actions with values.
Our thoughts and feelings are interconnected, and fear can often override our values and principles. When we find ourselves in situations where our thoughts and feelings seem to contradict each other, it's essential to recognize that what we're experiencing as a feeling is actually a thought. For instance, if we believe that a certain action is wrong but feel afraid to take that action, what we're really dealing with are two conflicting thoughts. The feeling of fear is not an emotion but rather a thought that creates a sensation in our body. To bridge the gap between our beliefs and actions, we need to learn how to manage our thoughts and recognize the ones that create fear or anxiety. By understanding that our thoughts and feelings are interconnected, we can work on changing the thoughts that prevent us from aligning our actions with our values.
Struggling with aligning thoughts and feelings: Recognize patterns of fear and self-criticism, strengthen empowering beliefs, and focus on progress in personal growth.
Our thoughts and feelings don't always align, and sometimes our deeply ingrained fears and socialization can override our empowering beliefs. This is particularly true for women, who may have internalized messages that make them hesitant to ask for what they want or speak up for themselves. The guilt and self-criticism that follow are often self-imposed, as we hold ourselves to unrealistic standards. It's important to recognize these patterns and work to strengthen the thoughts and beliefs that empower us, rather than letting fear and socialization hold us back. Remember, it's natural for our actions not to perfectly align with our beliefs at all times, and that doesn't make us bad feminists or flawed individuals. Instead, let's focus on making progress and continuing to challenge ourselves to grow.
The conflict between our thoughts and beliefs as feminists: Recognize conflicting thoughts as natural, manage your mind, and learn to live with them to find peace with yourself as a feminist.
Feeling like a "bad feminist" often stems from two interconnected sources: an unrealistic standard of perfection and a lack of understanding about the complexities of our thoughts and feelings. These conflicting thoughts can lead to self-criticism and negative self-judgment, making us feel disconnected from our beliefs and even questioning our values as individuals. It's important to recognize that these conflicting thoughts are not a sign of weakness or lack of principle, but rather a natural part of the human experience. By managing our minds and learning to observe and understand our thoughts without judgment, we can begin to resolve these internal conflicts and find peace with ourselves. Ultimately, the solution is not to eliminate conflicting thoughts and feelings, but to learn how to live with them in a way that aligns with our values and beliefs.
Managing conflicting thoughts: Learn to intentionally replace old beliefs with new ones, give yourself permission to let go, choose which thoughts to focus on, and work on the ones that make us feel anxious or scared to maintain values and reduce stress.
Our minds can hold conflicting thoughts, and it's normal to have old beliefs that don't align with our current values. It's important to remember that we're not weak or unprincipled for having these thoughts, but rather, we need to learn how to intentionally replace them with new ones. This process involves giving ourselves permission to let go of the old thoughts, choosing which thoughts to focus on, and working on the ones that make us feel anxious or scared about speaking up. By managing our thoughts, we can maintain our values and principles while also reducing stress and improving our ability to respond effectively to challenging situations. It's not about giving up or accepting things as they are, but rather, rewiring our brains to be more confident and empowered in speaking up against sexism and other forms of discrimination.
Learning to think differently on purpose: Identify and challenge limiting beliefs, replace them with empowering alternatives to align thoughts and actions, and transform your mindset for a better life.
To bridge the gap between how we think and how we feel, and align our beliefs with our actions, we need to learn to think differently on purpose. This process involves identifying and challenging limiting beliefs that hold us back, and replacing them with empowering alternatives. For instance, instead of fearing rejection when speaking up, we can believe that many people in the room may also feel uncomfortable and appreciate our courage. This redirects our attention from potential danger to the positive impact of our actions. This is the kind of work we do in Unfuck Your Brain, a feminist blueprint for mastering our minds and creating the lives we desire. If you're interested in this transformative journey, visit www.thelawyerstressolution.com/unfuck-application to start the application process for the program. Trust me, it's a game changer.
Focus on managing internal worlds for effective change: To avoid burnout and make a difference, learn to process emotions and work with thoughts for internal transformation, enabling external change
To effectively make a difference in the world and avoid burnout, it's crucial to focus on managing our internal worlds. As a social justice lawyer, I've seen firsthand how negative emotions like anger, resentment, and exhaustion can derail individuals and movements. By learning how to process emotions and work with our thoughts, we can create change without being overwhelmed or giving up. This isn't just important for personal growth, but also for achieving external goals. So, consider checking out "The Clutch" at www.unfuckyourbrain.com/forward/theclutch or texting your email to 347-934-8861. Remember, external change begins with internal transformation.
