Podcast Summary
Understanding Perfectionism as a Trauma Response: Perfectionism is a complex response to trauma, linked to adverse childhood experiences and developmental trauma, with real health consequences for the body, nervous system, relationships, and overall life. Instead of striving for excellence, recognize signs of harmful perfectionism and seek tools to work with the nervous system to be present for life.
Perfectionism, while sometimes praised in society, is a protective trauma response with real health consequences. It's important to distinguish between striving for excellence and being a perfectionist, as they have different sensations and feelings in the body. Perfectionism is linked to adverse childhood experiences and developmental trauma, and is a complex construct that can manifest both internally and externally. It's essential to understand the costs of perfectionism, including the impact on the body, nervous system, relationships, and overall life. Instead of wearing it as a badge of honor, it's crucial to recognize the signs of harmful perfectionism and seek tools to work with the nervous system to be present for life and feel safe being a full, messy human. Join Elizabeth and Jennifer for 2 free weeks of neuro somatic training to learn more.
Childhood trauma and perfectionism: Perfectionism, rooted in childhood trauma, can hinder progress and prevent growth through unrealistic expectations, self-criticism, and excessive stress, impacting various areas of life including finances.
Perfectionism, whether it's self-oriented or directed towards others, can stem from childhood trauma and serve as a protective response. However, it often leads to unrealistic expectations, self-criticism, and excessive stress. Perfectionism can manifest in various ways, such as setting unattainable time goals, harsh self-talk, or even freezing up completely. It can also impact other areas of life, like finances, by triggering money loops due to the belief that only perfection is acceptable. Ultimately, perfectionism is a debilitating cycle that can prevent growth and hinder progress. It's essential to recognize the roots of perfectionism and work towards shifting the mindset towards self-compassion and acceptance.
Perfectionism's Impact on Mental and Physical Health: Perfectionism can lead to avoidance behaviors, trauma responses, depression, anxiety, burnout, lack of self-worth, decreased resilience, and heightened emotional reactions.
Perfectionism can be detrimental to both mental and physical health. It sets an unattainable bar that can lead to avoidance behaviors, trauma responses, and even severe consequences such as depression, anxiety, burnout, and lack of self-worth. Perfectionism can also make individuals less resilient to handling new traumas due to their internal critic mindset. Understanding the signals of our nervous system and recognizing the impact of past traumas on our present reactions is crucial to prevent deeper dysregulation and unwanted behaviors. Perfectionism often stems from a deep-rooted need to control and appear perfectly to ensure safety and avoid rejection or abandonment. When faced with new traumas, the loss of control can trigger the perfectionist, leading to heightened emotional reactions and increased vulnerability.
Chronic stress and perfectionism: Harmful health outcomes: Perfectionism leads to chronic stress, maladaptive coping mechanisms, emotional suppression, burnout, and disease states. Recognize patterns for healing and prioritize self-care.
Chronic stress and perfectionism can lead to harmful physical and emotional health outcomes. Perfectionism, often deeply ingrained, can result in maladaptive coping mechanisms like binge eating or numbing out with TV. This loop of stress and self-criticism can lead to chronic inflammation, emotional suppression, burnout, and even disease states. High-performing individuals, particularly women, are at risk due to the pressure to excel in multiple roles and appear perfect. Recognizing these patterns is the first step towards healing and creating a healthier foundation for life. The pandemic served as a pause for many, revealing the importance of self-care and letting go of the constant need to perform and please others.
Struggling with Perfectionism?: Recognize the signs of perfectionism, challenge its demands, prioritize self-compassion, and practice presence to break free from its harmful cycle.
Perfectionism can be a harmful cycle that leads to high expectations, self-criticism, anger, shame, and disconnection from the present moment. If you find yourself working excessively long hours, experiencing negative self-talk, having periods of intense work followed by crashes, or struggling to release control, you may be dealing with perfectionism. These behaviors can make it difficult to fully experience and enjoy the success and rewards of your hard work. To break free from perfectionism, it's important to develop self-regulation tools and be aware of when you're in the perfectionism loop. Listening to the voice inside your head and recognizing its demands and harshness can help you start to challenge and change the pattern. Remember, your worth is not determined by your performance or what others think of you. Take care of yourself and prioritize self-compassion and presence.
Recognize perfectionism as a loop, listen to your body, and take contrary actions for self-care: Understanding perfectionism as a cycle, prioritizing self-care, and practicing contrary actions can help regulate our nervous system and improve both our wellbeing and the impact of our work.
Moving beyond perfectionism involves recognizing it as a loop, listening to your body, and taking contrary actions to regulate and care for yourself. Perfectionism can lead to rigorous content schedules and self-judgment, while excellence allows for self-expression and alignment with your values. It's important to understand that our nervous systems are always responding to one another, and showing up in a dysregulated state can negatively impact both ourselves and others. By prioritizing self-care and time management, we can ensure we're taking actions when it's right for us and in alignment with our body and nervous system. This not only benefits us but also those who engage with our work.
Healing from trauma is a unique process, not a race: Be patient, experiment with practices, find what works best, and allow the process to unfold naturally
Healing from trauma is not a race or a linear process, and trying to rush it with unrealistic expectations can actually harm your progress. It's important to be patient, experiment with different practices, and find what works best for you, rather than pushing yourself to meet external or self-imposed deadlines. Your nervous system is unique, and it may require subtle, less intense practices to find safety and integrate new experiences. Remember that awareness is a neutral place, and being hard on yourself about your level of awareness during your healing journey can be counterproductive. Instead, focus on honoring your capacity and allowing the process to unfold naturally over time.
Our nervous system adapts slowly, so take small steps towards change: Recognize the importance of limiting beliefs, examine their roots, and practice regulation techniques to make room for new actions and beliefs. It's okay not to be perfect, and small steps towards change can lead to significant progress.
Our nervous system is always adapting, and creating change, no matter how small, can lead to significant progress. However, pushing changes too fast can trigger strong protective responses, making it very important to approach new stimuli with subtlety and small steps. Limiting beliefs rooted in perfectionism can make it difficult to move beyond these behaviors, as they feel essential for our survival and sense of worthiness. These beliefs can be deeply ingrained and difficult to overcome, leading to anxiety, panic, and even burnout. To break free from these patterns, it's crucial to recognize the importance of these beliefs, examine their roots, and practice regulation techniques to make room for new actions and beliefs. Remember, it's okay not to be perfect, and taking small steps towards change can lead to significant progress.
Balancing change and rest: Strive for a balance between change and rest, avoid perfectionism, and aim for a supportive work culture that allows for flexibility and understanding.
It's essential to strike a balance between creating change and allowing ourselves rest and recovery. This delicate process requires practicing minimum effective dose and being mindful of perfectionism. It's important to remember that change doesn't have to happen all at once, and setting unrealistic expectations can lead to negative consequences. This applies not only to personal life but also to organizational culture, where perfectionism can lead to increased burnout, poor physical health, and a costly work environment. Instead, we should aim for a supportive work culture that allows for flexibility and understanding, recognizing that everyone needs time to rest and recover.
Impact of Perfectionism on Health and Seeking Help: Perfectionism, driven by trauma and control, harms health and hinders help-seeking. Recognize, deconstruct, and challenge perfectionistic tendencies for better well-being.
Perfectionism, fueled by trauma and the need for control, can significantly impact individuals' health and prevent them from seeking help. Perfectionists often hide their dysregulation and emotional reactivity behind a well-projected image, making it difficult for them to receive the support they need. As a society, we need to collectively challenge systems that promote this harmful way of being. Individuals can begin by recognizing and deconstructing their perfectionistic tendencies and taking contrary actions. My personal experience reflects this, as I built a successful business on the foundation of my workaholism and perfectionism, only to realize that these patterns were unsustainable and led to my eventual healing through nervous system training.
The Cost of Perfectionism: Perfectionism can negatively impact our health, ability to be present, and form functional relationships. It's not sustainable and can lead to trauma responses and a breakdown of our nervous system. Develop new skills and tools to move beyond it.
Perfectionism comes with a high cost. It may seem beneficial in the short term, but it can negatively impact our health, ability to be present, and form functional relationships. The constant striving for perfection can lead to trauma responses and a breakdown of our nervous system. It's not sustainable, and we need new skills and tools to move beyond it. Exploring the depths of perfectionism and its impact on our lives can be fascinating, but it's also intense and at times overwhelming. If you find yourself resonating with this episode and wanting to understand the cost of perfectionism more deeply, visit rewiretrial.com to begin developing a toolkit to help you move out of this protective response and experience more joy and pleasure in your life.