caregiver tip

Ever wondered how to transform your caregiving experience into a journey of peace, joy and empowerment? The answer lies in auditing - a process I recently undertook for my podcast, the Caregiver Cup, with the help of my coach, Krystal Proffitt.  Krystal's invaluable insights gave me a clear picture of my podcast's strengths and weaknesses. Our discussion spanned new tools, website evaluation, SEO, and the pros and cons of outsourcing - all elements that contribute towards taking a podcast to the next level.

But the idea of auditing doesn't just apply to podcasts. As caregivers, we too can leverage this process to move from a state of overwhelm to a stage of empowerment. Only a fraction of caregivers step into this phase, but the benefits are immense - tackling feelings of stress and loneliness, and above all, improving caregiving. In the episode, we explore three potential ways to perform an audit, assessing not just the caregiving aspect but also other life areas. 

Steve Hartert from JotForm helps us understand the central categories to focus on in a life audit, making it easier for caregivers to break down different aspects of life - from health to finances, and translate these insights into action steps. As we conclude, we discuss the joy that can be discovered in auditing, highlighting the importance of examining our current situation and making conscious efforts to enhance it. So, join us as we navigate through the process of auditing, filling our cups, and living our best caregiver lives.

Get my free resource:  17 SHIFTS TO TAKE CONTROL OF CAREGIVER STRESS that will take you to the best version of yourself.

Thank you for listening. If you know of another caregiver who could benefit from this podcast, please copy and share this episode.

Follow me by clicking on the links below:

• ➡️ Get my free resource: 17 SHIFTS TO RECUDE CAREGIVER STRESS & SAY GOOD-BYE TO CAREGIVER BURNOUT
• If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat
• CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

Have you said:  I have no time.  I can't manage it all.  My to-do list is never ending.  How do I get this all done? 

In this episode, I'm breaking it all done:  What is time management?  Why don’t caregivers have enough time?  What the root cause is?  And most importantly, how do you management your time?  

Time management is making the most of the time you have.  You have 24 hours in the day.  These are the times you have to work your job or business, this is the time you have to take care of my loved one’s care whether that be doctor's appointments, nursing needs and finances.  You also have to get in cleaning the house, laundry, grocery shopping and more.   How can you get these done effectively?  How do you utilize that time?  That’s what time management is in your busy caregiver life. 

Time management and feeling behind is actually a symptom or a sign of the condition.   symptom, it will keep coming back.  Treating the symptom is a great option for now and can help us get through a hard season but it’s not a long term solution. The long term solution happens over time and takes work, effort and sometimes is frustrating because all we want is it to be fixed now.    

But when you really look at the root cause of your stress, it’s not really a time management issue - is it?    You have to start with a core foundation of making your care a priority.   When you put yourself first and love yourself you can be more productive, a better caregiver and find more joy.  

When you focus on you it’s going to give you more energy.  It’s like a well oiled machine, like a car.  When you take care of yourself, everything will go smoother, faster and easier.  

Steps to managing your time:

1. Who do you really want to be?  How do you want to show up as a caregiver?
2. Start managing your calendar and put yourself down as a priority.
3. Find efficiencies
4. Ask for help
5. Find your focus

I would encourage you to set a goal each month.  Then lay out a plan for each week.  

Great resources regarding time management

• Episode 20: Caregiver Hacks to Find More Time
• Episode 25:  Pruning Your Caregiver Challenges and Overwhelm
• Episode 59:  The Importance Of Recharging Each Day
• Episode 96:  Why Asking For Help Is Hard

Grab the show notes here  ➡️ https://www.cathylvan.com/episode119
Join the Caregiver Cup Circle  ❤️ https://www.cathylvan.com/caregivercircle
The small group meets every other Tuesday.  We would love to have you!

1:1 Coaching  ➡️   DM Cathy at @cathylynnvan

Get my free resource:  17 SHIFTS TO TAKE CONTROL OF CAREGIVER STRESS that will take you to the best version of yourself.

Thank you for listening. If you know of another caregiver who could benefit from this podcast, please copy and share this episode.

Follow me by clicking on the links below:

• ➡️ Get my free resource: 17 SHIFTS TO RECUDE CAREGIVER STRESS & SAY GOOD-BYE TO CAREGIVER BURNOUT
• If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat
• CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

ok, let's get real this week - how are you currently showing up as a caregiver?  Do you feel energy and joy?  Or do you feel drained and exhausted?   

You are providing a beautiful gift as a caregiver and you should be proud of yourself.  But if it's consuming every ounce of your energy, time and identify, it's time to redirect things.  You can't keep going without energy and fun.  You deserve to be happy.  You deserve to be vibrant. 

You can take care of your loved one with the best possible care and love them, but you also have to take care of yourself with love and giver yourself the best possible care.

It's possible - to live a caregiver life with joy, spark and vibrant energy.  It's also possible to have your passions, goals and time away. 

Grab the show notes here  ➡️ https://www.cathylvan.com/episode118

Join the Caregiver Cup Circle  ❤️ https://www.cathylvan.com/caregivercircle
The small group meets every other Tuesday.  We would love to have you!

1:1 Coaching  ➡️   DM Cathy at @cathylynnvan
>>CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration
https://instagram.com/cathylynnvan/

Get my free resource:  17 SHIFTS TO TAKE CONTROL OF CAREGIVER STRESS that will take you to the best version of yourself.

Thank you for listening. If you know of another caregiver who could benefit from this podcast, please copy and share this episode.

Follow me by clicking on the links below:

• ➡️ Get my free resource: 17 SHIFTS TO RECUDE CAREGIVER STRESS & SAY GOOD-BYE TO CAREGIVER BURNOUT
• If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat
• CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

This is Part 2.  Identifying your burnout is key and being aware of your physical and emotional signs (or your lack of thoughts, actions or words).  

Figuring out the why will help you better understand how to reduce your burnout.  

In this episode,  I'm going through the vital steps to understand why and move you towards your own action:

• Focus and live in the present
• Accepting your situation and circumstances
• Finding meaning in your challenges and struggles
• Working on managing your energy
• Starting with quiet activities to reduce stress

Stress is inevitable, but you need to assess it by asking:

• Am I creating this stress?
• What caused the stress?
• How do I respond to stress?
• Can I improve the stress going forward?  

Burnout can't be reduced overnight.  It will feel messy, uncomfortable, emotional and scary.  But when you take micro steps and celebrate each little win, you will see progress. 

Grab the show notes here  ➡️ https://www.cathylvan.com/episode117

Download  ➡️   3 Stages of Caregiver Overwhelm

Take the      ➡️ Caregiver Quiz

Join the Caregiver Cup Circle  ❤️ https://www.cathylvan.com/caregivercircle
The small group meets every other Tuesday.  We would love to have you!

>>CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration
https://instagram.com/cathylynnvan/

Get my free resource:  17 SHIFTS TO TAKE CONTROL OF CAREGIVER STRESS that will take you to the best version of yourself.

Thank you for listening. If you know of another caregiver who could benefit from this podcast, please copy and share this episode.

Follow me by clicking on the links below:

• ➡️ Get my free resource: 17 SHIFTS TO RECUDE CAREGIVER STRESS & SAY GOOD-BYE TO CAREGIVER BURNOUT
• If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat
• CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

I was really debating how to start this podcast this week.  Meaning should I do the cautious and gentle start or should I just come out and say it.   Well since I care so deeply for you and i know you need to hear this, I am not going to sugar coat it.   You may disagree with me and that’s ok.  Our roles of caregiving are very different and our situations are very different.  But what is the same is that we control our mindset and we can choose how we think and feel.  

So, here it is:   Many people say, I am just going to survive and it’s all about survival during this caregiving season.    I disagree.   It’s not like you are on a little boat in the middle of the ocean with sharks around you.  It’s not like you’re stuck in a blizzard in your car and buried.  

I know these are extreme examples.    But I hope you get it.   

Your loved one may be in an extreme situation and trying to make it one more day.  But YOU can make micro changes and shifts to help yourself.  

But in your defense and mine as well, we may not be able to see that.  It may be so hard, so dark, so intense, that we say things like - I can’t, there is no other choice, I’m stuck, this is my life or it is what it is.   

Grab the show notes and full episode transcript here.
 ➡️ https://www.cathylvan.com/episode114

Join the Caregiver Cup Circle  ❤️ https://www.cathylvan.com/caregivercircle
The small group meets every other Tuesday.  We would love to have you!

>>CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration
https://instagram.com/cathylynnvan/

Get my free resource:  17 SHIFTS TO TAKE CONTROL OF CAREGIVER STRESS that will take you to the best version of yourself.

Thank you for listening. If you know of another caregiver who could benefit from this podcast, please copy and share this episode.

Follow me by clicking on the links below:

• ➡️ Get my free resource: 17 SHIFTS TO RECUDE CAREGIVER STRESS & SAY GOOD-BYE TO CAREGIVER BURNOUT
• If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat
• CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

In this episode, we're talking about something we don’t normally talk about but it is something we think about more often than necessary.    When things don’t go well or when challenges happen, our brain likes to go to that “bad” side. It’s funny how our brains like to think the worst and we spend all that time in our heads with negativity, anxiety, sadness and worry.  

One of the biggest mistakes I see caregivers make when they are juggling it all and extremely exhausted is that they start giving in to the overwhelm and their own stress.

Why do you think the worst?  Why are you so hard on ourselves?    Stop beating yourself up for something you  forgot or missed.

 Grab the show notes and full episode transcript here. 
 ➡️ https://www.cathylvan.com/episode113

Join the Caregiver Cup Circle  ❤️ https://www.cathylvan.com/caregivercircle
The small group meets every other Tuesday.  We would love to have you!

>>CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration
https://instagram.com/cathylynnvan/

Get my free resource:  17 SHIFTS TO TAKE CONTROL OF CAREGIVER STRESS that will take you to the best version of yourself.

Thank you for listening. If you know of another caregiver who could benefit from this podcast, please copy and share this episode.

Follow me by clicking on the links below:

• ➡️ Get my free resource: 17 SHIFTS TO RECUDE CAREGIVER STRESS & SAY GOOD-BYE TO CAREGIVER BURNOUT
• If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat
• CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

As caregivers, we make assumptions and let our negative thoughts tell us that we have to be a martyr or stop enjoying life.  We convince ourselves that we have to give up happiness and joy.  Life is now full of sadness, challenges and difficulties.   Some of that is true and the good news is: joy is possible, even in your caregiver season.  It’s also one of the most important mindsets and practices you need right now.  

• Joy makes you resilient.  
• Joy makes us resistant. 
• Joy makes you healthy

What's the difference between happy and joy?  People favor happiness.  But should happiness be our priority over joy?  I don’t think so.  Happiness is a fleeting emotion based on external circumstances.  But, If you’re laughing with friends, you have both happiness and joy.  Versus joy is an internal positivity that’s connected to hope. It’s the feeling that everything will turn out okay.  With joy, you don’t have to put on a happy face.  You can be joyful in the midst of the toughest situations.  

You and I don’t live in a happy world right now.  Our world is filled with sadness, difficulties, and challenges.   With joy as your priority, the hope that things will be ok, this season will not be forever and right now you are providing a beautiful gift to your loved one - will help you push to your best self.  

Joy is what you need now more than ever.

Experiencing joy while caregiving isn’t always easy, but I believe it’s more than just a nice thing to do: It’s a crucial to your well-being.  Every moment of joy fills your cup a bit so you can keep going. And a little bit of fun can go a long way to relieve stress, motivate, activate and connect — as well as relieve boredom.

During this season in your life, at times it may feel as if you’re in auto pilot as you move through your day to day responsibilities of caring for a loved one. It may feel as if you have forgotten what makes your heart sing with joy. And you may even suppress it out of guilt or resentment. Infusing joy and laughter back into your life will help you better deal with the stress of being a caregiver. Laughter specifically strengthens your immune system and releases certain 'feel good” endorphins.

Cathy's tips to finding joy   (Screen print this and share on your social media and tag me @cathylynnvan telling me what sparks your joy. ) 

• Create a joyful journal.  
• Write a joyful mantra to post on your computer or refrigerator to say each morning. 
• Celebrate. Find ways to celebrate. 
• Eat joyously. 
• Exercise always boosts your mood.  
• Surround yourself with happy, vibrant friends and family
• Be joyous around your loved one. 
• Cultivate gratitude. 
• Enjoy music, movies, and/or a sporting event
• Enjoy a hobby.
• Children, Grandchildren, Pets
• Find joy with your loved one too

Notice your 

Get my free resource:  17 SHIFTS TO TAKE CONTROL OF CAREGIVER STRESS that will take you to the best version of yourself.

Thank you for listening. If you know of another caregiver who could benefit from this podcast, please copy and share this episode.

Follow me by clicking on the links below:

• ➡️ Get my free resource: 17 SHIFTS TO RECUDE CAREGIVER STRESS & SAY GOOD-BYE TO CAREGIVER BURNOUT
• If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat
• CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

Three questions to ask yourself when you are experience Caregiver Stress.  When you answer these questions, you can better figure out ways to reduce stress.   

It’s important that we as caregiver avoid burnout.   This is stage two of caregiver overwhelm. Stage one is Caregiver Stress and if you don’t take care of your stress, burnout can sneak up pretty fast.  

Caregiver burnout is a state of emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion caused by the prolonged and overwhelming stress of caregiving (plus everything else on your plate).  

You might be struggling to maintain a sense of purpose in working so hard to provide care, which leads to feelings of loneliness and being unappreciated, second-guessed, or criticized by other family members, friends and your Loved One.  

And you're probably reluctant, unable or unwilling to reach out for help from others.  Isolation and  extreme energy loss are major signs of caregiver burnout.  When you're burned out, it's tough to do anything for you or anyone else.  

1.  What does your stress look like?  When you look at your stress what do you see?  

2. What does stress feel like?     Your feelings, your thoughts, what is your body and mind telling you.  

3.  What does stress do to you?  Meaning how do you act or react.  Or what behaviors do you resort to when stressed? 

Obviously there are better actions than others.  There are better behaviors than others. 

The body’s autonomic nervous system controls your heart rate, breathing, vision changes and more. Its built-in stress response, the “fight-or-flight response,” helps the body face stressful situations.

It’s so important to think about how you respond to stress physically, emotionally, mentally and through our actions.   

Caregiver Stress is real and it’s going to happen no matter how much you try to stop it.  When you feel stress I want you to think about the word REAL  

R = Recognize
E = Embrace
A = Accept
L = Learn

Stress is a normal human reaction that happens to everyone. In fact, the human body is designed to experience stress and react to it. When you experience changes or challenges (stressors), your body produces physical and mental responses. That’s stress.

Stress responses help your body adjust to new situations. Stress can be positive, keeping us alert, motivated and ready to avoid danger. But stress becomes a problem when stressors continue without relief or periods of relaxation.

Take some time to think through and observe your stress.   Then Grant yourself grace as you recognize and learn ways to overcome it.    

Get a free download, the 3 stages of caregiver stress   - this resource walks you through each stage (stress, burnout and fatigue)   It defines each stage and then gives you signs and symptoms to watch for.  

I hope you enjoyed this episode, I seriously want you to reflect on each question.  Grab a journal and really write these out.  It has worked for me over and over again.   

Here’s to reducing your stress and taking care of yourself friend.     

Thank you for listening. If you know of another caregiver who could benefit from this podcast, please copy and share this episode.

Follow me by clicking on the links below:

• ➡️ Get my free resource: 17 SHIFTS TO RECUDE CAREGIVER STRESS & SAY GOOD-BYE TO CAREGIVER BURNOUT
• If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat
• CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

In today’s episode, I’m sharing my dishonesty.  The last few weeks I have been lying to myself.  I’ve been telling myself stories and covering up my true feelings, my true thoughts and not doing what’s best for myself in this caregiving journey.  

I had so many moments of anger, frustrations, denial and self-imposed pressures in the last couple weeks.  I was choosing to ignore the feelings and thoughts or blaming it on other things.  Until I realized I had to be honest with myself and figure out my whys.  

Why am I angry?   I didn’t recognize myself having these types of behaviors.  I felt off and was feeling stress.  

Why am I moody?  Why am I frustrated?  Looking back I realized I jammed too much into one week.   I felt anxiety, stretched and frustrated and moody.  Everything feels heavy and challenging.   

I was catching myself thinking negative and saying negative things.  I was becoming a complainer and feeling sorry for myself - and… that’s not me.     Honestly - I was way overcommitted.  

Signs that you need to be honest with yourself.  

1. If you feel off and not yourself.  
2. You are self-sabotaging yourself 
3. You complain, but don’t take action 
4. Not taking feedback well

How to be honest with yourself.  

When you get to this point, be proud of yourself.  You realized you need to be honest with yourself and take actions.  This isn't easy, but it will shift your mindset and a new way of thinking - moving your from less stress and anxiety and more joy and gratitude.  

1.  Be Open and Vulnerable:  Be willing to step into each situation and assess it.  Listen to yourself and others.   This may require you to journal out your thoughts and feelings or even talk to someone about it. 
2. Reflect Each Day:  Taking time each day to reflect on your decisions, thoughts, and actions.  Reflection can not only help you be honest with yourself, but can make you feel more fulfilled and grateful.  Try writing in a journaling each day:  What did I do well today?  What can I do better tomorrow? Am I granting myself grace?  How am I treating myself?   

When you’re reflecting on yourself - I want you to think through your caregiver overwhelm.  Are you stressed, burning out or fatigues.  Get my free resource - The 3 stages of caregiver overwhelm.   Go to cathylvan.com/caregiverstress

       3.  Be Self-Aware:  When you become aware of your own patterns you can finally begin                        to be honest with yourself
       4.  Being Patient and Embracing Yourself

Each day, we face new challenges and try, once again, to solve those that keep recurring. Being a caregiver is hard work, and it is impossible to keep a level head at all times. Moments of sadness, frustration and anger can easily get the best of us.

Being honest with yourself req

Get my free resource:  17 SHIFTS TO TAKE CONTROL OF CAREGIVER STRESS that will take you to the best version of yourself.

Thank you for listening. If you know of another caregiver who could benefit from this podcast, please copy and share this episode.

Follow me by clicking on the links below:

• ➡️ Get my free resource: 17 SHIFTS TO RECUDE CAREGIVER STRESS & SAY GOOD-BYE TO CAREGIVER BURNOUT
• If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat
• CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

Only when you first help yourselves can you effectively help others. Caring for yourself is one of the most important—and one of the most often forgotten—things you can do as a caregiver. When your needs are taken care of, the person you care for will benefit.

How do you do this?  You have to create the foundation to succeed  Creating a foundation to be that effective caregiver.    

What is foundation / framework?
What about your health and vitality?

You can’t rely on your own personal discipline

What would the ideal environment be to ensure you are effective today? 

 If your productivity or motivation is not there?

Think about what infrastructures are you lacking?   What things can I put in place that helps me be a better version of myself and a better caregiver?  

The second is your strategy or asset to your caregiving:  Y_O _U    Yes,  taking care of yourself.  

I know, it doesn’t sound right, it’s doesn’t feel right and it may not be what you want to do.  But you can’t be an effective caregiver if you don’t put yourself first.  

What is your Ideal Vitality - Well-being - Self-care look like?  

I want you to think deeper than the surface here.  

Find your Doctor 

1. How are you caring for yourself?  
2. You shouldn’t  wait to go to the doctor when you are sick or mentally struggling.  You need to be proactive.  
3. You need Someone who is guiding you in your health now that you are in a season that is challenging and tasking on yourself

You need a medical doctor who is aware of your situation and is supporting and guiding you through this time and keep your physical well-being in mind.  

You also need to think about your mental wellness in this caregiving season.  What resources should I be utilizing?  

• Therapist - licensed professional
• Coach
• Consultant
• Support Group 

As Caregivers, we usually put ourselves on hold.  

• You need someone that will tell you if you are healthy or sick
• If you need to adjust your vitamins or meds based on your labs
• You need someone to review your health habits and encourage you to make adjustments
• Someone that can help you build a caregiver strategy that is sustainable.  

If you don’t start thinking of this now, what happens

• Stress, Burn out, Fatigue
• Health issues like high blood pressure, weight gain, depression
• Loneliness, Isolation, Anger, Resentment, Worry
• You feel guilty that you have health issues 

So, friend, reach out and ask for your support during this time.   I hope this prompts you to look at the last time you had your physical, diagnostics and labs.  If it’s been too long, schedule the time now.  Explore therapy - some of your employers offer some free visits.  Look into local support groups and most are online now.

 

Get my free resource:  17 SHIFTS TO TAKE CONTROL OF CAREGIVER STRESS that will take you to the best version of yourself.

Thank you for listening. If you know of another caregiver who could benefit from this podcast, please copy and share this episode.

Follow me by clicking on the links below:

• ➡️ Get my free resource: 17 SHIFTS TO RECUDE CAREGIVER STRESS & SAY GOOD-BYE TO CAREGIVER BURNOUT
• If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat
• CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

Sometimes it seems like everyone is on the "same page" only to be surprised when your LO has a completely different recall of a previous conversation. Sometimes it's no problem, but sometimes this can cause some uncomfortable feelings.  Listen to Episode #38 to hear my experience and my suggestion of how to avoid this from happening to you.