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    UFYB 131: A Year of Thought Work Vol. 2 - Dating, Breakups, & Social Justice

    enApril 30, 2020

    Podcast Summary

    • A program combining psychology, feminism, and coaching to help individuals tackle various life issuesThe Clutch podcast offers valuable insights into the power of thought work and the importance of addressing negative thought patterns for personal growth and improved relationships

      The Clutch, a program that combines psychology, feminism, and coaching, can help individuals rewire their brains and tackle various issues in their lives, such as dating anxiety and post-breakup recovery. Marissa, a student who struggled with anxious attachment and dating anxiety, found the program particularly helpful in changing her thought patterns and improving her relationships. Deb, another student, used the Clutch to navigate a breakup differently, thanks to the program's emphasis on thought work. The Clutch stands out in online feminist activist social justice work for its focus on inclusivity and the importance of addressing thought patterns to foster growth and solidarity. Whether listeners are interested in social justice or not, the conversations in this podcast offer valuable insights into the power of thought work and the potential pitfalls of validating negative thoughts and feelings.

    • Find support and feedback in the Clutch communityThe Clutch offers more than just podcasts, with resources like coaching calls, workbooks, and a Facebook group providing tangible tools and opportunities for growth, and giving feedback to others can help clarify one's own thoughts and reinforce learning.

      The Clutch community offers more than just listening to podcasts. While podcasts can provide valuable insights, the interactive support and feedback from the community can help individuals identify their blind spots and change deeply ingrained beliefs. The Clutch's resources, such as coaching calls, workbooks, and the Facebook group, offer tangible tools and opportunities for growth. Moreover, giving feedback to others can help clarify one's own thoughts and reinforce learning. As the speaker shared, coaching oneself and others go hand in hand. The Clutch's supportive community allows individuals to witness others' journeys and reflect on their own processes, leading to deeper understanding and growth. Before joining the Clutch, the speaker's dating life was anxiety-driven, but through the community's support, they were able to gain a new perspective and move forward.

    • Beliefs about love and abundanceEmbrace the ability to love anyone and focus on own needs for greater abundance and openness in relationships.

      Limiting beliefs about the number of people we can fall in love with and the need for others to meet our needs can create a cycle of anxiety and self-rejection in dating. Instead, embracing the ability to choose to love anyone and focusing on our own needs and desires can lead to greater abundance and openness in relationships. The speaker shares how she worked on changing her beliefs and behaviors through self-reflection and coaching, leading to more fulfilling connections and eventually entering a relationship with someone she might have overlooked before.

    • The search for a boyfriend as a distraction from self-improvementFocus on internal growth and self-love, rather than seeking external validation through relationships.

      The desire for external validation, such as having a boyfriend, can be a distraction from the real work of self-improvement and self-love. Previously, one might believe that getting a boyfriend is a sign of being "fixed," but in reality, it's the internal work and personal growth that truly matters. This process of self-discovery may reveal unexpected insecurities and the need for nonjudgmental self-reflection. Through thought work and coaching, one can become more aware of their thoughts and the resulting actions, leading to increased self-acceptance and the ability to choose relationships based on true preference rather than scarcity or external validation.

    • Creating a non-judgmental space for personal growthNon-judgmental space leads to self-awareness, compassion, and true confidence. True confidence comes from self-compassion and knowing one's worth. Engage with thoughts non-judgmentally and practice compassion towards oneself and others.

      Creating a non-judgmental space for yourself and others can lead to increased self-awareness, compassion, and true confidence. The speaker shared how they used to think they were confident based on external validation, but now they understand that true confidence comes from self-compassion and knowing one's worth. They also emphasized the importance of engaging with thoughts non-judgmentally and practicing compassion towards oneself and others. In the context of the current COVID-19 epidemic, the speaker mentioned that the tools and thought work in the non-judgmental space have been supportive in dealing with the challenges of this time. Overall, the conversation highlights the importance of creating a safe and non-judgmental space for personal growth and self-discovery.

    • Managing Mental and Emotional Well-Being During Challenging TimesDuring tough times, practice self-compassion, make intentional decisions, and seek support if needed to manage mental and emotional well-being. Accept where you are and trust your ability to change.

      During challenging times, it's essential to hold space for ourselves and others, practice thought work, and make intentional decisions to manage our mental and emotional well-being. The speaker shares her experiences of learning to be a listening ear and not let others' struggles affect her emotions. She also discusses the importance of managing workload and social media usage, making decisions for herself, and using tools to manage catastrophic thoughts. The speaker emphasizes that everyone's journey is unique, and it's essential to be kind to oneself and accept where one is in the present moment. She encourages those starting their journey to seek support if desired, understand that it's okay to be where they are, and trust that they have the power to change if they choose to. Overall, the speaker highlights the importance of self-compassion, intentional decision-making, and resilience during uncertain times.

    • Understanding cognitive biases for emotional resiliencyLearning about cognitive biases can help us recognize when our thoughts are not always true and improve emotional resiliency by embracing the idea that healing and growth are possible at any age.

      The tools discussed, such as the Model and understanding cognitive biases, can be applied to various aspects of life to improve emotional resiliency and decision-making. Deb shared her personal experience of joining the Clutch after a breakup and how she struggled with people pleasing and perfectionism. She discovered the surprising truth that her brain is a liar and learning about cognitive biases helped her understand that her thoughts are not always true. This realization allowed her to view herself as a work in progress and embrace the idea that healing and growth are possible at any age.

    • Finding Support and Connection in The Clutch during the PandemicThe Clutch, a supportive community, helped individuals navigate their emotions and experiences during the pandemic through authentic conversations and the absence of judgment or pressure to conform.

      The tools and community of The Clutch have provided valuable support during the pandemic, allowing individuals to process their emotions and experiences in a safe and authentic space. The speaker shares her personal experience of caring for her father during the early stages of the pandemic and how the Clutch helped her navigate her feelings and impulses. She also highlights the importance of the group's diverse voices and the absence of judgment or pressure to conform to a particular way of thinking or feeling. Overall, the Clutch has provided a valuable outlet for self-exploration, connection, and growth during challenging times.

    • Exploring experiences and learning from each other in The ClutchThe Clutch values personal growth, diversity of perspectives, and open discussions, fostering a sense of solidarity and empowerment for individuals.

      The Clutch community stands out as a unique space where individuals can explore their experiences and learn from each other, without the constant focus on oppression and the policing of thoughts and feelings. The speaker values the importance of personal growth and progress, even if not everyone is at the same stage. She believes that allowing diverse perspectives and open discussions can lead to a more productive and effective movement towards social change, rather than spending energy on controlling each other's emotions. The Clutch fosters a sense of solidarity while also encouraging individuals to take ownership of their thoughts and actions, ultimately leading to a more empowering and transformative experience.

    • Focusing on internal worth for external changeInternal work on worth and deservingness leads to effective external change, while excessive fear and control can hinder progress

      Focusing too much on fear and trying to control external circumstances won't bring true safety or emotional autonomy. Instead, it can lead to a never-ending cycle of scanning for threats and infighting within communities. It's crucial to do internal work, such as validating one's own worth and deservingness, to build a strong foundation for external change. Without addressing our internal thoughts, external efforts may not lead to lasting progress. The podcast about being an ally is a valuable reminder that our personal values and actions should align, and that we must address our own biases and beliefs to effectively contribute to social change.

    • The Power of Introspection and Personal GrowthInvesting in self-understanding and managing thoughts can significantly improve life, regardless of external challenges. Focusing on personal growth and introspection can lead to positive change and inspire hope in others.

      Investing in understanding yourself and your thoughts can significantly improve your life, regardless of the external challenges you face. Deb and Marissa's experiences highlight the power of introspection and the importance of not letting negative external influences define your mindset. Whether dealing with personal relationships or social justice issues, it's crucial to recognize that you have the power to change your thoughts and perspectives. The Clutch community serves as a valuable resource for individuals seeking to shift their mindset and find hope and inspiration amidst the constant stream of negative conversations. By focusing on personal growth and learning to manage your thoughts, you can create positive change in your own life and contribute to making the world a better place.

    • Embrace the power of mindset and community for better outcomesChanging your mindset and joining a supportive community can lead to effective thought work and better social justice outcomes

      Changing your mindset and the way you show up in your relationships and social justice pursuits can lead to better outcomes, rather than relying on external factors like luck or community validation. The Clutch community, with its focus on acknowledging and changing negative thoughts, provides a supportive space for individuals to learn and grow together. The podcast roadmap, offered as a special bonus for joining the Clutch, provides an immersive experience to deepen the learning and make the concepts sink in more effectively. The importance of having a community of like-minded individuals, who believe in the possibility of change, cannot be overstated in one's thought work journey. The Clutch offers this community, along with guidance from experienced coaches and students, to help individuals embrace the power of thought work and envision a better future.

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